As soon as you get off the elevator to the Conference Room level you see two of these figures outside the elevator move to block your exit. That ask you in a harsh very artificial sounding voice to please exit sign file one at a time for pending scan for Saurian Life signs. As you comply you notice the Announcement Board across from the elevator shows the Conference Room is not only designated for the presentation of Leprechaun Laughs but designated a Dragon Free Zone for the day as well. Since none of you are Dragons in disguise you are directed to the Conference Room

Outside the Conference Room you notice two more of these figure manning the double doors and further spot that they seem to be carrying a strange gnarled and twisted baton similar in appearance to Lethal Magical Dancing Shillelagh, that is if it had been taking steroids for about a year.

Inside the Conference Room there are 8 more of the figures, 6 standing about the room and 2 on the stage one in what appears to be a butlers day coat offering coffee and a selection pastries from a tray to Diaman on her lounge bed and the last with green eyes facing you all from the podium.

Green eyes addresses you the immediately recognizable voice of your favorite absent Leprechaun:

Top o the morn folks! Sorry about all the security and me lads here being a wee bit more intimidating than the last bunch but as you know Impish tried to destroy all me iLethals. Well all but one which he used in an attempt to make my telepresence into some sick twisted parody of Jose Jalapeno on a Stick [identify the gratuitous reference in the comments section for bragging rights] I call these lads Cyber-Lethals and as you can see this bunch is capable of mounting a rigorous defense against demented deceptive destructive destructive Dragons New Jersey Newts.

I say deceptive because I threw the BS flag on his claim that iLetahls were dangerous according to MOSHA. See first off MOSHA doesn’t hold any sway here in the mundane world- that would be OSHA who doesn’t come here. After Impish got annoyed with them and threatened to eat a few inspectors they just level their maximum daily fine for having an uncaged unmuzzled Dragon roaming freely on the premises. Secondly the only reason they were  under Impish’s feet/tail was that he had them all corralled in his office figuring he would force a conversation I’m not interested in having with him.

I say demented because apparently after binging on one too many chopsaki movies in a marathon he got the idea to ‘accept his shame and atone for his  failure as my friend and his personal insult to me. His chosen manner apparently was to be the Yakuza ritual of severing a finger depicted in many Japanese Mafia Chopsaki offerings.

Relax he’s fine. Lucky for him we as a rule don’t allow Impish to have objects sufficiently sharp enough or of great enough tensile strength to actually harm himself. You all know how detail orientated Impish isn’t. Well he got the concept from the movie but apparently paid little or no attention to the manner in which it was done. Instead of starting with a single joint of the left pinky he was attempting to lop off an index finger. Fortunately as I previously mentioned we don’t allow him object capable of harming himself unsupervised. The most dangerous thing he was about to locate for his attempt was a brown paper grocery bag fill of Sporks provided with the salads and such by the local deli in the employee’s lunch room. By utilizing all 2764 Sporks in the bag he evidently managed to give himself a nasty but minor shallow cut across the top of a knuckle on said finger.

Relax while the blood of New Jersey Newts is hazardous (what from New Jersey isn’t ?!), we’ve a highly trained very skilled team here dedicated to cleaning up after Impish and there is no danger to any of you. As for Impish, I’m reliably informed he’s currently in the Mythical Veterinary Clinic we keep on site specifically for him milking the injury for everything its worth while asking every 5 minutes if they don’t think he needs an IV a bigger bandage and if I have been informed of his serious injury.

I should probably be back next week and things might well have returned to normal- or at least what passes for the semblance of normalcy and semi-sane around here. Until then enjoy the issue, I’ve a lovely set of twins to entertain and I think a set of triplets to look forward to.

OH! ONE LAST IMPORTANT THING!-

You’d do bloody well not to skip the Parting Shot today. The advice it contains actually may just at some future point save your life- literally. No joke. No Hype. No Come On. Just deadly serious here.

Impish and I are in total agreement regarding the importance and value of the information provided. So much so that were I not posting it today he would be on Saturday. That should speak volumes right there.

Because this is the sort of thing is new and occurring with a frightening and increasing regularity, you need to sit your kids down and have a family meeting to go over the material with them. Make sure they understand what to do when confronted by this situation or even the possibility of it and you have a family plan for this.

Impish and I both beg you don’t put this off or blow this off. THAT is how strongly we feel about the importance of this.

Since she is here among us today I thought I’d surprise Diaman and get her to recite her limericks herself for us! She blushes such lovely shades when she does them for the New Jersey Newt and myself!

There was a young girl named Ann Heuser
Who swore that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found a Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.

There was an old Count of Swoboda
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
So with great savoir-faire
She stood on a chair,
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.

On a maiden a man once begat
Cute triplets named Nat, Tat and Pat;
‘Twas fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding:
She hadn’t a spare tit for Tat.

There was a young tar from the sea
Who screwed a baboon in a tree.
The results were most horrid –
All ass and no forehead,
Four balls and a purple goatee.

There was a young lady named White
Found herself in a terrible plight:
A mucker named Tucker
Had struck her, the fucker,
The bugger, the bastard, the shite!

Sobbed the wife of a worrisome veep,
“I’m so tired and worn I could weep.
It’s my husband’s demand
For a tit in each hand –
And the bastard walks ’round in his sleep!”

A thrifty old man named McEwen
Inquired, “Why bother with screwing?
It’s safer and cleaner
To finger your weiner,
And besides you can see what you’re doing

Speaking of bawdy & naughty…here’s a photo by the Shannon Twins whom I had lined up for Impish that dimwitted New Jersey Newt alleged best buddy of mine. You know the one who insulted me by standing me up after harassing me for nearly an entire month to join me. The one who’s name shall not be spoken in my presence or by me. I’m stoically enduring the uhh…obligation yeah obligation of entertaining them myself so as not to disappoint them

I hope seeing this hurts Impish  New Jersey Newt! I’ll be taking advantage of their charms to help me get over the insult you’ve done me. Mean time you enjoy the memory of that cake of friendship you chowed down box and all unopened.

“Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.”

2-Ingredient Nutella Brownies

So… 2-Ingredient Nutella Brownies… I think I just stepped into Gluten-Free territory, and I didn’t even mean to.  Eggs and Nutella are all you will need to make these delicious brownies

It wasn’t quite as simple as Molly thought it was going to be to make these After calling her attention to the site on which I found them.  It turns out that, one, you need to beat those eggs to death… with an electric mixer, of course… and then, you have to warm up the Nutella to almost hot, but not too hot, or just enough to thin it out, before you slowly add it to the eggs. HA! Piece of cake!

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 35 minutes

Total Time: 45 minutes

Yield: Makes 9 Bars

 

 

 

Ingredients

• 4 large Eggs
• 1 cup Nutella
• Powdered Sugar, optional

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350.
• Line an 8×8 brownie pan with parchment paper; set aside.
• Place the eggs in your mixer’s bowl and beat for 5 to 7 minutes, or until the eggs have tripled in size. This may take up to 10 minutes with a handheld mixer on high.
• Heat the Nutella in the microwave for 60 seconds.
• Remove and stir.
• Slowly pour a stream of the warm Nutella over the eggs, beating until mixture is thoroughly combined.
• Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out with very few crumbs.
• Remove and let completely cool before cutting.
• Dust with powdered sugar.
• Cut into bars and serve.

Notes

***DO NOT put the Nutella-Jar in the microwave. Measure out 1 cup of Nutella and microwave it in a microwave-safe bowl.

Pumpkin Pie Cinnamon Rolls

I’m a sucker for Pumpkin Pie or honestly pretty much anything pumpkin and Molly loves Cinnamon Rolls hot from the oven on a Sunday morning with coffee and the paper. That made this recipe a no brainer for us to try, especially since Molly didn’t have to deal with the hassle of making the dough.

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 18 minutes

Total Time: 30 minutes

Yield: Makes 16 Rolls

 

Cinnamon Rolls in under one hour made with refrigerated dough, a delicious pumpkin filling, and an incredible pumpkin pie spice cream cheese frosting!

 

Ingredients

• 2 cans Pillsbury Crescent Rounds
• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1/2 cup pumpkin puree (not pie filling)
• 1 tablespoon milk
• 1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

   

For the Frosting

• 4-oz cream cheese, softened
• 1-1/2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 375.
• Lightly grease two 8-inch cake pans with non-stick spray; set aside.
• Separate dough into 16 rolls and unroll.
• Brush each piece of dough with melted butter.
• In a small bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, milk, brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg.
• Evenly divide pumpkin filling and spread over each piece of rolled-out dough.
• Carefully roll up each dough, lightly pinching seams together.
• Arrange the rolls 1 inch apart in the prepared cake pan.
• Bake for 16 to 18 minutes, or until tops are golden brown.

  In the meantime prepare the frosting.

• Place cream cheese in your mixer’s bowl and cream for 1 minute.
• Gradually add in powdered sugar and continue to beat until well combined.
• Mix in pumpkin pie spice.
• Add vanilla and mix until thoroughly combined.
• Remove pans from oven and immediately brush each roll with frosting.
• Serve.

 

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken

If you have a large enough slow cooker and they are available in your neck of the woods, this also works well with disjointed turkey wings & legs. Not a fan of the whole Buffalo poultry craze? Substitute and equal amount of A-1 Sauce, Heinz 57 or your favorite BBQ sauce for the hot sauce. On the other hand if your mantra is ‘More hotta more bedda!” try substituting Sriracha Chili Sauce for the hot sauce and may the gods have mercy on your digestion.

 

Prep Time: 3 hours, 00 minute

Cook Time: 4 hours, 00 minute

Total Time: 7 hours, 00 minute

Yield: Serves 6 to 8

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

• 8 to 10 chicken drumsticks
• 1 bottle (5-ounces) Frank’s Red Hot (or any other buffalo sauce that you like to use)
• 1/2 cup dry wine
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 3 tablespoons dried parsley

Instructions

• Place drumsticks in a large resealable plastic bag.
• Add the rest of the ingredients to the bag; seal bag and turn to coat.
• Refrigerate for 3 hours or overnight.
• Transfer chicken and sauce to slow cooker.
• Cover and cook on LOW for 3 to 4 hours, or until chicken is tender. You can also cook them on HIGH for 2 hours.
• Remove chicken to a serving plate and brush the sauce over the chicken.
• Serve with a side of bleu cheese dip.

In case you’re wondering what part of a Dragon that is, I’m told they are fingers joints

This is How You Tell Movie Merchandizing Has Just Gone Too Damned Far

While driving in  Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign… “Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.”

The Lake

As only the Irish can tell a story!

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the pub on the
far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy’s 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a
boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat …..and
nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother …

“Grandma,” he asked, “Tis me 18th birthday, so why can’t I walk across
the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?”

Granny looked deeply into Paddy’s, troubled blue eyes and said,
“Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were
all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!”

When Posing Goes Wrong

 

Speaking of posing…here’s a pose by the Dahm Triplets. An evening of entertaining them which I also went to great lengths to obtain for Impish the New Jersey Newt which I’ll now be forced to undertake myself.

By the way Impish New Jersey Newt, in case you’re wondering that’s lickable fruit flavored body paint and candy nipple jewelry they are dressed in…and that’s ALL!

Eat your weight in institutional green Jell-O New Jersey Newt!

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
“Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”
During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”
At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.”
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

Hey New Jersey Newt! Stop laughing at this one! You’re a scant 3 years away from this scenario yourself! Let’s just hope she’s doesn’t turn out to be a Liberal woman driver or you might wind up with this:

Speaking of cars, they finally invented one with the New Jersey Newt in mind! He can drive one to his new job where he gets paid to fill them!

Sort of brings a whole new level of meaning to the phrase “I’m getting shitty gas mileage’ now doesn’t it?

 

When it comes to this situation I’m not an expert, nor do I pretend to be. True I may have some training that puts me on a slightly better footing but I was never trained for this particular scenario. The following information is from 2 different sources, complimentary and stitched together unedited by me with the exception of the yellow highlighter emphasis in certain key passages. After the 2 articles are some links to resources.

Were I even resort to waxing profane, I still could not urge your strongly enough to take the time to watch review the links and watch the videos so I’m not even going to try. All ya’ll  are a hard headed and bloody stubborn bunch and nothing I say is likely to sway you if you’re of a mind to blow this off.

I will ask you one question however, the time I am imposing on you to spend reviewing this information and discuss it with your family, is what you’d be doing instead really more important than your life or the life of any of your family? If the answer is yes, then may the Almighty have mercy on your stupid self absorbed soul, because that active shooter sure in the hell isn’t going to.

Preparing for Active Shooter Situations and Terrorist Attacks

While active shooter situations are still pretty rare, it’s a phenomenon that does seem to be increasing in regularity. From the shooting in Colorado, to terrorist attacks around the globe, these events do happen and they are something that we need to be prepared to respond to.

Situational Awareness

Being able to protect yourself in an active shooter situation begins with having a good sense of what’s going on around you. As I suggested in a previous article, about protecting yourself during a flash mob situation, knowing your environment is one of the most important safety precautions you can take in any situation.

Before entering any public place, you want to scope out the situation. If anything looks out of place, or your gut tells you something isn’t right, Listen to your instincts and leave.

Find your Exit Points

Part of being aware of your environment, means knowing how to get out when things go bad. Upon entering any new area, the first thing you want to do is look for every possible escape route and exit. This action could mean the difference between life and death, and is something that should never be overlooked.

Always Give Yourself the Tactical Advantage

Call it paranoia; I call it always being prepared. When putting yourself in a target rich environment –  like a movie theater, public gathering or concert venue –  there are a couple of things you should do to maximize your ability to survive a deadly situation.

First, try to avoid situations that may turn violent.  While predicting one of these events is almost impossible, there are a number of things you can do that will put the odds in your favor.

AVOID HIGH PROFILE EVENTS

The madmen who commit these crimes are looking for attention. Lone shooters and terrorist organizations are both looking for media attention and high body counts. They are more likely to attack people during high profile events, so when possible:

• Avoid opening night events
• Avoid sold out shows and concerts
• Avoid high profile events and politically charged rallies

DON’T BECOME AN EASY TARGET

If you do go to a large event, such as a movie; a concert; or some sort of rally or sporting event, choose seats that are situated near an exit. The last place you want to be during a shooting, is stuck in the middle of a crowd or in the middle of a row of seats.  Placement is a critically important factor in staying safe.

• Choose seats near exits
• Never choose seats in the middle of a crowd
• Don’t make yourself stand out from the crowd in any way
• Make sure there are no obstacles standing in your way of making a quick escape

TRUST YOUR GUT!

We have instincts for a reason. A number of people in the recent Colorado event had a bad feeling when they saw the shooter enter the building, yet most of them brushed off their feelings and reasoned that it was probably some sort of publicity stunt for the movie.  Even after the shooting started, a number of people said,  they still thought “it had to be part of the show.”

If a situation seems odd, if something seems out of place, or your gut tells you something isn’t right; listen to your instincts and don’t wait around to find out what happened.

Surviving an Active Shooter Situation

Should the unthinkable happen, and you find yourself in the middle of an active shooter situation, there are a couple of things you can do to help maximize your chances of survival.

ESCAPE – YOUR FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE

In my opinion, this is first and foremost on the list of options.  In an active shooter situation, the first thing you want to do is try to escape. This isn’t a movie or a video game; when the bullets start flying the last place you want to be is anywhere near the shooter.

Hopefully you took the time upon entering your location to scope out the exits. If you can safely make your way to an exit, do so without hesitation, and without attracting unwanted attention from the shooter. Once you hit the exit, keep going. Distance is one of the keys to surviving the situation.

BARRICADE: TAKING COVER

Taking cover means moving yourself away from any possible harm. If you can’t safely remove yourself from the situation, the next best option may be to take cover. When I say take cover, I don’t mean closing your eyes and hiding behind some tiny little object.

In the movies, you often see the hero of the story returning fire from behind some ridiculous object like a table, or piece of furniture. In real life, these objects provide little if any actual protection from incoming fire. There’s a big difference between taking cover behind a solid barrier (like a concrete wall) and hiding behind a chair or table.

ATTACK

Critics of this option will probably argue that you should never try to attack a shooter. But if you’re in a situation where there’s no place to run and no place to seek cover, what other option do you have? Most critics fall silent when asked that question.

The fact is in an active shooter situation, you often have very few options. Lying frozen in fear does nothing to add to your chances of coming out alive. If you have no other options, you need to act quickly and decisively to try to take out the shooter.

If you have a weapon, then hopefully you have trained for this type of situation. I’m not going to go into tactics and proper response, because nothing I can write will properly prepare you for this situation. Only proper training, both physically and mentally, can help you prepare for this type of encounter. Please don’t underestimate the need to properly train yourself in the ways of self defense.

After the attack, get to safety.

Once you have exited the building, or removed yourself from the situation, DO NOT DROP YOUR GUARD. What if the shooter returns? What if there are other shooters waiting outside the exits?

I was stunned to see cell phone footage of people fleeing the scene of last week’s shooting. Why anyone would stay and film this tragedy is not only disgusting, it’s something that could get you killed.  Hanging out at the scene of the incident is never a good idea, trying to film it on your cell phone is just plain stupid.

While these types of incidents are extremely rare, they do happen and they are something that we must be prepared to respond to. We live in a sick society where people are constantly seeking fame; unfortunately, there are a growing number of lunatics who will do anything it takes to receive that fame and notoriety. This is a problem that will probably only get worse with time.

“Tools to Survive an Active Shooter”

If you witness any armed individual at any time, immediately call the Police to report the emergency. Use common sense. If hiding or escaping from danger is impossible, you should remain quiet, but we encourage you to DO SOMETHING!

About Fleeing

If it is possible to flee the area safely and avoid danger, do so.
If it is safe to do so, consider:

* Escaping out of the other side of the building.
* Moving to a central and secure area within the building.

In case you must flee, do not go to the normal gathering site for your building. Instead, get far away from the shooting scene and contact the Police Department to advise them of your location.
Do not attempt to flee if the shooter is between you and your escape. If you are unsure, do not attempt to flee.

About Hiding in Place

If it is not possible to flee the area safely:

* Go dark. Turn off all the lights.
* Lock all windows and doors and secure yourself in your space.
* Get everyone down on the floor or under a desk and out of the line of fire and remain silent.

About Notifying Others

* Attempt to get the word out to others in your building or nearby if possible.
* Dial 9-1-1  to notify police and give your location, if that seems practical.
* DO NOT pull the fire alarm. It will provide the shooter with more opportunities to cause harm.

If the shooter comes into your room or office

* There is no one procedure that can be recommended in this situation.
* Attempting to negotiate with the individual may be very dangerous.
* Attempting to overcome the individual with force is a last resort that should only be initiated in the most extreme circumstances, but, again, DO SOMETHING!

“All-Clear”?

Wait for the “all-clear” instruction given by an authorized or known voice.
If the staff or students do not recognize the voice that is giving instruction, they should not change their status.

* Unknown or unfamiliar voices may be giving false assurances.
* Remember, there may be more than one active shooter.

After a Valid “All-Clear”

* Follow the direction of Police Officers as you leave the building.
* Police may direct you to one collection point.
* When encountering Police Officers, keep your hands on your head or open in front of you. Officers are trained to be aware of all possible dangers and need to see quickly that you are not a threat.
* Be careful not to make any changes to the scene of the incident since law enforcement authorities need to investigate the area later.

Active Shooter: How to Respond http://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/assets/active_shooter_booklet.pdf

Active Shooter: Pocket Card http://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/assets/active_shooter_pocket_card.pdf

YouTube Videos:

Shots Fired On Campus Video 20 minutes and 32 seconds (Evaluation Copy: CPPS Training) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zESoTz-RBc

Shots Fired On Campus Video 17 minutes and 52 seconds (Evaluation Copy: CPPS Training) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_syVYFVJeMU

Shots Fired On Campus Video 15 minutes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdU8er2fQMw

http://offgridsurvival.com/survivingactiveshootersituationattacks/

From across the campground you hear the thump, thump of what is very recognizable as the tread of Impish’s overgrown back feet.  Interspersed with the thumps you believe you can hear the grinding of gears and the sounds of clashing metal.  The closer he gets, the louder the sound and as you watch, appearing over the crest of the small hillock between the campgrounds and the back yard of the corporate headquarters comes our shining blue hero dragon, with one of the iLethal robots clenched in his fists where his neck would be, immediately below the screen where the head appears.  He is plodding towards the central campfire where he normally pontificates from. 

Diaman motions him over to the coffee table and hands him a steaming mug while whispering to him and pointing to the mechanical mess he seems to be dragging with him.  You imagine her asking Impish what he’s doing with the robot.

Loud enough for you all to hear he says, “I know Diaman, but this is the last bloody one left that’s working and it’s not leaving my side until I hear more than a damn raspberry come out of its speaker!”

She whispers something else to him and you hear his reply, “No, there all in pieces in the damn dungeon.” Noticing that a lot of you were paying attention to his conversation, he raises his voice a little so as to make it easier for all to hear. “Yes, you see there were…um..safety issues…yes, Safety Issues…with the iLethal robots being … um … underfoot all the time, and well MOSHA (the Mythical Occupational Safety and Health Administration) had come in for their … um…semi … no, no annual inspection and decided that the iLethals were a hazard and had to be… um … safely stored away somewhere and I have them all put away, perfectly safely, in one of the … downstairs, …uh … underground storage rooms.  And I have kept this one here by my side so I can be available to that fuc… fabulous Leprechaun.  In case he, you know, wants to give me another chance at those GPS coordinates that were, quite accidently of course, destroyed on Wednesday on the cake.”

Diaman continues to shake her head as Impish expounds on his story.  She then hands him a donut, that he looks perturbed at, since he has one hand on the coffee and the other on the iLethal neck.  Looking back and forth between the donut, coffee and mechanical neck, not being able to decide what to do, Diaman sighs heavily and puts the donut in Impish’s mouth which immediately disappears.  As he wonders up to the center area you get a glimpse of Diaman surreptitiously counting her fingers.

 

Good Morning Campers!
I’d like to give a very special thanks to my brother the Owl, Daiman, Ginny, Karl, Henry and all the rest who’ve given to baby June either on their own or in the name of Dragon Laffs.  Sadly, they are still only 12% of their goal with time running out.

Remember folks, every little bit helps.  Here’s the address again, in case you’re interested:

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/8lv4/baby-june-s-fight-against-cancer

This poor family has suffered so much, it’s unbelievable.  I was told some things today by one of the guys helping out with raising money.  Things that were told to me in confidence, so I shan’t share them here, but believe me when I tell you, these people have suffered more in the last year than most people will face in their entire life times.  So, if possible, reach down a little bit a give a buck or two.  It’s a really good cause.

Thanks, now let’s get this party started:

Let’s start out with some poignant laughs, shall we?

 

 

You know… I’d love to know the answer to that question myself!  What the hell is wrong with us, letting them get away with that?

 

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People —
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color..
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Hi.  It’s Impish, I know it’s a little late, but I’m bring Daiman home from our date.

 

 

Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
·If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Sheila, Candy and Sarah.
·If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .
EATING OUT
·When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back..
·When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
·A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
·A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
·A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
·The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
·A woman has the last word in any argument.
·Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
·A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
·A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
·A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
·A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
·A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
·A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
·Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed..
·Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
·Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
·A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people
remembering the same thing!

 

 

 

And an even better question than that might be…why the hell are you employed in the first place?

 

When I read this to Mrs. Dragon she laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes!  But she did say that she was glad that we weren’t like that with each other and she’s right.  We have a very atypical marriage, as I strongly believe Lethal Leprechaun does as well.  And I think any of you who can say the same thing, probably did like I did and married your best friend.  But, let’s laugh at this couple…

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them.. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’ The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’ The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’

 

 

Okay, so some of you are probably going to be pissed at me for saying that I laughed like hell at this.  But, come on.  They got scared, but nobody got hurt.  So, you tell me…

 

 

God, that was awful!  I should be ashamed.  But, I’m not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Last Word is an essay by a Rabbi from Teaneck, New Jersey.  A more succinct explanation of the problems with the electorate in our country I have not heard.  Please read this great explanation.

 

<A new sign greets you outside the Conference Room door announcing its temporary double duty as both a Convalescent and Psychiatric Ward in addition to its Conference Room functions. You are instructed to keep your voices low and be respectful of the rooms two patients. Off to one side of the stage is a Craftmatic type bed in which Diaman is ensconced while one the room side of the stage a pair of California King sized foam mattresses barely manage to peek out beneath Impish’s broad bulk.

Diaman rouses herself as you enter, semi foggily smiles. She beckons you all in and points to the craft table asking that someone please bring her another cup of coffee as her last one was spilled by a groggy dragon’s tail stirring as he napped.

The whirring noises you’ve come to associate with Lethal’s telepresenced arrival commence shortly after you all arrive. However it seem to be coming from two separate directions and louder than usual. One source of the sound is definitely the hall leading to the conference room. The other seems to be from behind room divider screen partially hidden behind a row of potted plant a row of artificial potted plants. A pair of  identical iLethals  appear nearly simultaneously and in complete synchronization survey the room. As they make their way forward into the room 2 more appear behind them. Three take up various positions around the room and the 4th heads to the podium pausing to examine Diaman and softly wuffing Impish. Diaman grins and shoots iLethal a thumbs up at something she alone apparently can see on the screen. Satisfied iLethal #4 returns to the podium when he starts speaking the words don’t come through the PA system but softly through all 4 strategically placed iLethals.>

Morning boys & girls.

I’d be appreciative if we could keep the hubbub down to a minimum. Sorry about the paper plates and cups but to a Dragon, especially this one clinking tableware  is like a Fog Horn going off. Right now I much prefer Impish as he is.

Speaking of his condition I hasten to assure you that both Diaman and Impish are fine. See after I saw Impish giving Diaman as much of a tongue bath as her sense proprieties would allow for and his predictably whining about not getting his way with her either and his not being able to help himself due to the flavor of the scented lotion she was using I got an idea. While passing between here and there during a short lay over for some maintenance on Shamrock One I snuck into a basement lab and added a few things to an entire case of the lotions bottles. Now every time Diaman put the lotion on not only does a side effect moderate the pain of her injuries but the next tongue bath takes the edge off Impish’s stress for him See he had served me notice that the drugged donut thing as going a bit stale (honestly idk why since I’ve been suing it from day one and it never fails despite his telling me he’s wise to it). However I’d have to say from their condition at the moment Impish has talked her into applying a heavy coat for him to lick off in addition to her daily skin care regimen. This isn’t likely to be a problem since my vacation is slated to end this week anyway, unless I decide to extend it. See I’m STILL waiting for confirmation of my funding for schooling at this point despite today being the deadline.

Visions of Red Tape bound Academicians atop a pyre of burning forms and bullshit excuses dancing through my head makes keeping this Zen attitude I went on vacation to get in the first place pretty hard So I’m going to zip out of here and got try and regain it. Oh when Impish wakes up tell him I left him a bakery box under Diamen’s bed and if she tells me his retrieving it hurt I’ll let her join me and he can continue to be in charge until she’s better and I understand that’s at least another month to six weeks away.

Oh! Almost forgot! Tell him Tell him the GPS location for where I’ll be today and tomorrow are on the cake in the box.

<the iLethal at the podium slowly starts descending as two more pivot in place and quietly whirring make their way out the door while the fourth silently disappears behind the screen and potted plants. In doing so accidentally bumping one and causing it to make a very dishware like sound. Immediately Impish’s head shoots up ears swiveling to locate the sound even before his eyes full open you hear him…>

“Hey! Save some for me! I like what ever it is too! <Yawn>

What is it we’re having? Leprechaun Laughs? You guys started with out Lethal? He’s gonna be mad! Came and went? CAME AND WENT! Where the heck was I? Sleeping? I missed him? Which way did he go?” <he appears ready to give chase but looks baffled then a bit peeved when you point in 3 different directions>

“You know he’s been bad enough, with this solo vacation thing, his threats to extend it, but you guys really don’t always have to be on his side you know! Huh? How many iLethals were there? 4? But I locked away I mean sent out for repair because I accidentally broke them 6 already!” He sighs.

“He left me something? Where? Under Diaman’s beds? Yippee! What? He said bad things will happen if I’m not careful getting it? What another week’s worth of him hiding from me? SIX WEEKS??!! Umm can someone fish that out for me ? Yeah thanks!”

Mm! I smell cake! Yum! Hey there is writing on the box! ‘I swear by my pot of gold this cake contains n0 , artificial flavors, colors, additives, preservatives and most importantly ( at least from a certain dragons PoV) no sedatives’ (signed) Lethal”

<Box goes in his mouth and he swallows before a word can be said>

“What? I always eat it box and all my Vet is forever telling me I need more roughage in my diet and besides, that way you get any frosting that winds up on the box too. Man I’ll bet it was decorated pretty I can taste the jelly they use to decorate them and it tastes like there was a lot too. HUH! GPS co-ordinates and a map to join him? WRITTEN ON THE CAKE?! OH NO!”

<His head thuds down and you hear a whimpering and sniffling from him. Diaman reaches for a remote on her bed and the stage curtains which are never closed start to. She addresses you briefly before the close completely.>

“I’ll take care of this. It’s likely to take a while. Why don’t you folks go on about the issue and enjoy yourselves while I tend to Impish.

Impish? Impish? It’s time for my sponge bath! Do you want to help? That’s a good dragon!”

 

 

This weeks idealidic vacation setting might be getting to me a little more than I thought!

Another Saturday Night – Jimmy Buffett

Thought it was time for a little more summer time music. While the song might not be about summer this band sure as heck is about it…perpetually

 

To hear Impish tell it I haven’t thought about him the entire time I was gone. So unfair and not true! I even Purloined and Perverted the above song on his behalf! (With respect and apologizes to Sam Cooke & Jimmy Buffet)

Well its Sunday afternoon and I ain’t heard from the Dragon
I had a fantastic lunch and I just got laid
How I wish I had Impish to tell this to
I’ll bet he’s in an awful way!

I got in port a day ago, I seen a lotta girls since then
If I meet ’em I can bed ’em
That’s why I’m in the shape I’m in

Well its Sunday afternoon and I ain’t heard from the Dragon
I had a fantastic lunch and I just got laid
How I wish I had Impish to tell this to
I’ll bet he’s in an awful way!

Another fella told me he had a sister
& I never change her uptight mind
Instead of being my deliverance, I now call that Nympho mine

Well its Sunday afternoon and I ain’t heard from the Dragon
I had a fantastic lunch and I just got laid
How I wish I had Impish to tell this to
I’ll bet he’s in an awful way!

(Here it is another weekend and I ain’t got work
Man if I was back home I’d be wading through
Two stacks of files on my arm
Aww yeah
Listen to me huh)

Well its Sunday afternoon and I ain’t heard from the Dragon
I had a fantastic lunch and I just got laid
How I wish I had Impish to tell this to
I’ll bet he’s in an awful way!

This stiffie that’s my little fella, he really knows his way around
If I don’t find me a honey to help me bend this fella
I’m gonna have to do every girl in this town

Well its Sunday afternoon and I ain’t heard from the Dragon
I had a fantastic lunch and I just got laid
How I wish I had Impish to tell this to
I’ll bet he’s in an awful way!

Speaking of Weirdos- here’s a few words from one of my “tribe.”

Speaking of my tribe- here’s a little music for the my two slumbering tribe members on the stage there. Please remember not to disturb them too much!

Summer Breeze – Seals & Croft

 

Shh! Don’t tell Impish but when he finally joins me after following those GPS direction on his cake these lil’ beauties are waiting for him!

The Ironic Story of the Year Award goes to….

George Harrison memorial tree killed by beetles

10-foot-tall pine tree planted in 2004 will be replaced, Los Angeles says

Published On: Jul 22 2014 07:23:21 AM CDT

A tree planted in memory of Beatles songwriter and musician George Harrison has been killed by actual beetles.

The living monument fell victim to an infestation of the insects that couldn’t be thwarted, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Standing 10 feet tall, the pine tree was planted in the city’s Griffith Park in 2004 and accompanied by a plaque.

A new one will be planted in its stead shortly, Councilman Tom LaBonge told the Times.

Harrison died at age 58 in 2001. The tree was planted because Harrison spent his final days in Los Angeles, and was an avid gardener in his adult life.

 

 

Otis Redding-Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay

OK so I have been doing this with a fishing pole live bait and a cooler full of Bass Ale and great deli food but its still a great summer  time past time!

 

 

First Class – Beach Baby

 

Just a few cooking lessons today I’ll get back to doing recipes in a week or so. I actually used the first one after finding it to cook three dozen eggs for my ‘Huevos del diablo’ which are seriously kicked up deviled eggs and much in demand at since parties here since the binder isn’t mayo. The recipe? ROFL!

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE RECIPE! 

At least not without a Tyvek suit, respirator, latex gloves, serious cross, ventilation and a permit from the EPA. These things are seriously hot even by TexMex standards. Kind hosts place Guacamole on the patter to help cool them down and locate the platter with them closest to the cold beer… and fire extinguisher decorated thermos of milk for the wusses. What? I kid you not! Here it is-

SEE? TOLD YOU SO!

Alton Brown’s Oven Eggs

 

I like Scrambled eggs…especially for Sunday Breakfast with breakfast meat,  and fried potatoes of some form or other or in a Breakfast Burrito. It’s surprising how many people can seriously screw up this simple dish

How To Make Perfect Scrambled Eggs – 3 ways | Jamie Oliver

JOHNNY RIVERS- “SUMMER RAIN”

 

 

Dancing In the Moonlight

 

Sure hope Impish didn’t misread them GPS co-ordinates and get lost because all these hot babes aren’t likely to wait on his arrival for ever!

co·nun·drum kəˈnəndrəm/ noun

plural noun: conundrums

1. a confusing and difficult problem or question.

   “one of the most difficult conundrums for the experts”

   synonyms: problem, difficult question, difficulty, quandary, dilemma; More

   informal poser- “the conundrums facing policy-makers”

   a question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle.

   synonyms: riddle, puzzle, word game

Or we could just go with the entry from Lethal’s Dictionary which defines it as ‘the exercise of attempting to understand the liberal’s logic and/or point of view’. To wit:

 

There are many more than six conundrums the Liberal Progressive Left can’t answer simply because the basis of the Liberal Progressive Collectivist ideology denies reality. Here are some good new examples of conundrums from Allen West. Enjoy.

From AllenWest.com:

The word conundrum is defined as a complex problem that is often puzzling or confusing. Here are six conundrums of our contemporary United States of America:

1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet almost half of the population is subsidized.

2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims.

3. They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government.

4. Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer.

5. The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about – yet politicians (mostly progressive socialists) claim they want America to become more like those other countries.

And consider these following three observations about the direction of our current government and cultural environment:

1. We are advised not to judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are admonished to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics. Funny how that works, as we see the liberal progressives already jumping on the tragedy from Santa Barbara California. So what about the three victims who were stabbed to death, should we ban knives?

2. We constantly hear about how Social Security is running out of money. How come we never hear about welfare or food stamps on the verge of running out of money? Maybe the first group “worked for” their money, but the second didn’t. It is a simple case of printing money for political bribery and extortion.

3. Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, giving no pay raises for our military and cutting our forces to a level lower than before WWII, but are expanding and increasing the benefits to illegal aliens? It is all about pandering for votes – and who cares about national security or veterans dying at the hands of their own Veterans Administration?

Well time for me to take that gaggle of smokin hot teeny weenie polka dot bikini babes back to my place for some Neked Twister and hot tubbin. One last night of Partying  before I have to pack up for my return, Anybody sees ol Scale Schnozzle tell him….never mind that too profane a message over his incessant harassment and then not showing up for me not to be deliver personally.

Mean time I’ll just hang on to this Zen thing I’ve got going…and the nearest babe!

I just received this in my email!!!!

 

An update on baby June

Posted by Christopher Bauchle on July 26th, 2014

Top

June’s surgery yesterday, July 25th, was supposed to take 5-7 hours but went significantly shorter. Doctors did not have to move her intestines much and the cancer didn’t look like it had spread or attached to other organs. Her kidney with the tumors was completely useless – no good tissue left. This is positive in the sense that her healthy kidney has already adapted to working alone. She will have a 4-5 day recovery at Riley Children’s Hospital. Biopsy results will be in next week. June will now begin 28 weeks of a new chemo treatment. Thank you for your support and please help us continue to spread the word about baby June’s fight against cancer.

All things are going as well as can be expected…better than expected.
Please continue to support this family, military members, fireman, here’s the link to this update:

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/8lv4/baby-june-s-fight-against-cancer/updates/84444 

Much more financial assistance is needed.  Please continue to help.

Thank you.  Thank you to those of you who have already contributed and to those of you who will when you can.  Sounds silly, but it’s true that EVERY dollar counts.

Cheers my dearest friends,

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers.
Today’s issue has gone through many different edits.  This final draft that you see in front of you has taken me some time and some agonizing to present to you.  I was going to start today’s issue by playing off of Lethal’s Wednesday issue, but something very important has come up at the last possible minute.

Here’s the message that I got at work today.

This past June, SrA (which stands for Senior Airman, E-3 for you military folks.  A very low ranking young man) Mravec, a Fire Fighter at Grissom ARB, 8 month old daughter, June Lilly, was diagnosed with a rare form of kidney cancer.  She is considered high risk and undergoing chemotherapy treatments.

I would like to ask you for your support in helping the Mravec Family.  Below is a link for the fundraiser that we created for baby June.
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/8lv4/baby-june-s-fight-against-cancer

Please take this opportunity to come alongside our brother as he and his family begin a long and expensive journey.

I encourage you to pass this along to family, friends or networks that you see fit.

I ask that you keep baby June and the Mravec family in your prayers.

We appreciate any help you can provide and thank you for your support and dedicated service.

Steve Groszek

Okay campers, here’s the deal.  Steve Groszek is this young man’s fire chief and has set up this website.  If you go to the website you can see pictures of SrA Mravec and baby June Lilly.  The website describes in a bit more detail exactly what this poor little girl is going to have to go through (chemo for at least a year, surgery after six weeks of chemo) and what they have to do.  There is a time limit to this.  47 days as of this printing and they have less than 9% of the $25,000 that they need.  I’m sure they’ll need more than that in the future, but for all the money that is spent on line on things that people don’t need, $25K is not that much.

I believe the problem that they’re having is that they are not getting the word out far enough.  So Dragon Laffs is going to help as much as it can by sending it out as far as we can.  I ask you to do the same.  You can send this whole issue or just cut and paste this portion and send it to everyone you know.

Now, if everyone of our current 441 members were to contribute just $10 we alone can knock almost 20% off this goal.  But even if you forego one ITunes song this week and sent the $1.38 you would have spent, you will be helping out.  I would love for our contribution to be in the thousands of dollars. 

I only have one request.  On the second page, after you hit the donate button, you can leave a personal message or even change your name to anonymous.  I left a message and changed my name to Dragon Laffs.  I would ask that you put Dragon Laffs somewhere on that second page.  You can add it in place of your name, behind your name, in the comments, whatever you’d like.

I gave $50.  (Which means my grocery budget is shorter because of it.  So we eat more mac and cheese and peanut butter sandwiches this week.  It’s worth it.) Who’s willing to match my donation?  I know times are tough, but are they as tough as this family has it right now?  For most of us, probably not.

Please my friends.  I feel very strongly about this.  I think it’s something we, as a group, can do and be proud of.  Don’t let me down. 

Now, it’s time. 

As you can see from the header, the Dragon Family made a trip to the Indianapolis Zoo this week, before Izzy Dragon has to head back to school next week.  Here’s some of the many pictures that we took on our day:
My Lazy cousin Larry the Lemur

Tony doesn’t think it’s very GGRREEAATTTTT!!!!  The cereal business just ain’t what it used to be.

I’m not saying a word about visiting in-laws.  Not a word.

Can’t have a party without the red-neck neighbors getting into it.

Part of the new Orangutan exhibit.  They weren’t completely done with it, but we got to visit with family old friends.

Cousin Charlie, dude you have lost a lot of weight!  Maybe a bit too much.  Have you been sick?

Aww, isn’t love grand!

No relative jokes!  No relative jokes!  No relative jokes!

But it’s SO HARD!!!!!!

Okay, so just a very, tiny bit of sharing of our adventurous day.  We had a great time and saw lots more than I showed you here.  Thanks for sharing a part of our day.

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids.

After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.

” Walter,” responds the little boy.

“And what is your question, Walter?”

“I have seven questions”

First, “Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?”

Second, “Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually Gotten worse?”
Third, “Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said That  you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs

Fourth, “Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?”

“Fifth, Why do you continue to cover up the Benghazi scandal?”

“Sixth, Why did you spy on your own U.S. Citizens?”

“and lastly, why did the IRS target Republicans?

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we?   Oh, that’s right: question time..

Who has a question?”

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

“Steve,” he responds.

“And what is your question, Steve?”

Actually, I have two questions.

First, “Why did the recess bell ring 40 minutes early?”

Second, “What the hell happened to Walter?”

My Dad (Papa Dragon Most Senior) is such a sentimental guy.  He sent me this great little short love story. 

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you
be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.’

‘I have a better idea,’ she replied, ‘Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married’.

‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed.

‘Good,’ she replied, ‘Get your own fucking blanket!’

After a moment of silence, he farted.

So sweet.  So touching.  Just brings a tear to my eye.  Sniff!  Thanks Dad!

 

That’s true enough.  I’d take that as a real thank you. 

Someone snapped this picture of Diaman and I after last Wednesday’s Leprechaun Laffs.  I know I look green there instead of blue, but with the stuff Lethal put in my pastries and the lighting being what it was… well, you understand.

If you are as big a fan of big, man-made objects as I am, then you are going to love this next video…25 Scary Bridges You’ll Have To See To Believe!

How about the size of this slip ‘n slide?  Now this would be GREAT fun!

 

 

 

 

Let’s do a really special Calvin and Hobbes run.  I’ve been following along with this plot line (yes, comics can have plot lines) and I think it is now done, so it’s time to put it all together.  So, sit back, relax and prepare to laugh at

Nice ending.  A nice little moral for kids to tell their parents the truth and it will all work out better.  I also liked where Hobbes stopped Calvin from running into the street after the car.  Ah, it’s the little things.

He so reminds me of my son growing up.  Yeah, the whelpling that you get to read here sometimes.  When he was about Calvin’s age, we had Poison Control on speed dial.  No joke.  This kid drank gasoline (the older boy across the street had it in a soda can cleaning his bicycle chain), after shave lotion (he liked the way it smelled, so it had to taste good) mercury from a thermometer (yes, he ate the end, glass and all), he inhaled flea powder (he liked the way the dog smelled) and baking soda (I don’t remember the why of that one, but poison control thought that one was the most dangerous of them all).  Not to mention a couple of leaves from plants and stuff.  Everything this kid found went in his mouth.  Well, this had gone on over a relatively short time span, say 6 or 7 months.  Maybe a year.  And one day, the phone rings and upon answering it, found that it was Poison Control calling to check on him!  These are the person’s exact words, “We haven’t heard from you for awhile and wanted to call and make sure that your son was all right…that he was … you know … still alive and well.”

Yup!  Calvin ain’t got nuthin’ on my kid. 

And you wanna know something really great??  Now that my son has sons, they are turning out to be as bad as, if not worse than, he was!  Hee! Hee! Hee!  My wishes have been answered and the curse worked!  May you have children that do the same thing to you that you did to me!

But I love my son… I love all my kids and I love all my grandkids.  And I hope to someday love my great-grand kids and my great, great-grand kids.  Heck, Papa Dragon’s done the great grand kids thing.  If he can do it, so can I.  Love you dad!

This has already been a very graphic heavy issue, so by all means, let’s add a little more.

 

What a GREAT video explaining our American Form of Government.  This is well worth watching!  Take the time.  This is stuff that used to be taught to our children in school.  Stuff, you may have learned in school, but I’ll bet your kids aren’t learning it now.

Not only was that a great video, but it was an outstanding lead in to today’s Last word…

To say that I’m pissed off is probably the understatement of the year.  I’m so sick and tired of what our once beautiful country is becoming, that’s it’s making me physically ill.  We have to do something and we have to do something quick. 

But, what are we to do?  Well, to make matters even more murky, here’s a new take on the Impeachment vs. Lawsuit argument… I was actually quite surprised by his summation at the end, but what he says makes a lot of sense.

 

No to Impeachment – Yes to Lawsuit

And under the category of “You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me!” there’s this headline:

Report: Mexican Drug Cartels Lay Down High Powered Suppressing Fire For Crossing Illegal Immigrants
Okay, wait a damn minute.  “Crossing Illegal Immigrants”?  I’m pretty sure when a force lays down suppressing fire for people crossing a border, those people are invaders.  This is (another) act of war and if it’s not actually the Mexican government that’s doing it, they are at least complicit in it’s undertaking.  They are doing NOTHING to stop their citizens from attacking our country.  You really need to read the rest of this one here:  http://freedomoutpost.com/2014/07/report-mexican-drug-cartels-lay-down-high-powered-suppressing-fire-for-crossing-illegal-immigrants/

 

And then you can file this next one under “Well, no shit!”  The White House lied??!!  Oh my Gawd!  Say it ain’t so!

White House Hid Huge Spike Of Families Crossing Border

New data shows the White House has painted a false picture of the Central American migration by hiding a huge spike in “family units” who are illegally crossing the Texas border.

The data, which was dumped by the U.S. border patrol late Friday afternoon, shows that inflow of youths and children traveling without parents has doubled since 2013, to 57,525 in the nine months up to July 2014.

But the number of migrants who cross the border in so-called “family units” has spiked five-fold to 55,420, according to the border patrol’s data, which came out amid a storm of news about the shoot-down of a Malaysian aircraft in Ukraine, delays in failed U.S. nuke talks with Iran, and on Hamas’ continued war against Israel.

In the Rio Grande area where most of the migrants are crossing the border, the number of so-called “unaccompanied children” was actually outnumbered by the inflow by adults, parents and children in “family units,” according to the data.

The much-faster growth in “family units” has been hidden by White House and agency officials, who have tried to portray the influx as a wave of children fleeing abuse and violence.

And finally, the piece-de-resistance, the icing on the cake, the final straw…

Illegals have had it! ‘Enough is enough!’

The only thing left to say is what the author tried so hard to imply without really saying, bless her heart.  But, I can say it…. to all the illegals who’ve “had enough”