Dragon Laffs

Working 16 hour shifts all week and all weekend. Will catch up next week. Sorry campers

Good Morning Campers,

It’s Sunday.  Yeah, for you guys, last Sunday.  It’s been a really difficult time and it’s affected (?)…effected (?) … I always get stuck on that one…let’s see, what was that rule?  Oh yeah, I remember:

Okay, got it!  So, …. where was I?  Oh yeah… ahem… It’s been a really difficult time and it’s effected not only me, but my family, all of you campers, … anyway … I’m not going to rehash the difficulties I’m having, no …. my point is that I did something I haven’t done in a long time.  I’ve taken the day off from everything and done what I wanted to do. 

No, I’m not ignoring Mrs. Dragon.  Thankfully she is sleeping quite well and resting.  I’m available if she needs me.

And Izzy Dragon is locked in her own little world today, but it’s okay, they know her there.

I shut off the TV, the phone, all the rest of that crap and read for a while, then I got a little antsy and turned on some music.  MY music.  Something I haven’t done in a long time.  And then I made a complete ass of myself!  It’s been so much damn fun! 

With Papa Dragon Most Senior being a musically prodigy, and I mean that in all seriousness, he started playing as a kid, self-taught and has been playing professionally up until last year when he just couldn’t anymore.  Sax, clarinet and flute, but in all honesty I’ve seen him play all kinds of instruments.  Anyway, considering all that, it probably comes as a HUGE surprise to find that I have NO musical talent.  None.  I couldn’t carry a tune in a hand basket to hell, with help.   Why is it that those of us who love music the most can’t do anything with it?

Well, today, that didn’t stop me.  You guys remember that scene with Tom Cruise in his underwear and socks where he slides into the room lip syncing to Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll in Risky Business?  Yeah, well compared to me today that was calm and understated.

And before any of you ask, no, there are no recordings or pictures.  You would truly be horrified, so be thankful…BUT MY POINT in all of this, is what a mood enhancer it’s been!  My voice is hoarse, my body hurts, but my spirits are soaring!  Hugely, highly recommended.

All my problems are still here.  And I still care, but it almost seems easier to deal with…almost.

So, someone asked, “What’s a dragon’s playlist like?”

It’s got a little bit of everything.  Songs that I like because I like them, not because they are anything else.  Very eclectic.  Okay, so the best I can do is put the next randomly selected songs down as they are played.  Right now it’s Whipping Post by the Allman Brothers.

Oh, and speaking of music, anybody out there have a digital copy of  Grace Slick’s solo album, Dreams?  Two songs on there I really love, The title track Dreams and the second song, Diablo.  Neither Itunes or Amazon has it.

Barenaked Ladies, If I had 1,000,000 Dollars.

Crosby, Stills, and Nash – Just a Song Before I Go

Another medical breakthrough.

A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers labor pain to the baby’s father.
He asked if they were interested.  Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.  The husband was still feeling fine.  The doctor then checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%.  The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband continued to experience no pain.  She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.

Alice Cooper – Only Women Bleed

Gawd, that was awful on so many levels.

Alan Parson’s Project – Games People Play

 

Rhythm of the Falling Rain by The Cascades

Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers

War Pigs – Black Sabbath

Breakdown Ahead – Boz Scaggs

Okay, that’s enough, I guess you guys get the idea. Kind of an eclectic mix, right?

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? 1) Democrat’s Answer: Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few weeks and try to come to a consensus and AAARGH! 2) Republican’s Answer: BANG! 3)Southern Republican’s Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click …(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those my Winchester Silver Tips or Mom’s Hollow Points? Son: Git-R-Dun Pop! Can I do the next one? Wife: You ain’t taking THAT to the taxidermist!

 

I’m pretty sure I’m part Southern Republican.

 

 

What’s wrong with this picture?

Well, above and beyond the hilarious spelling error, it’s right

in front of my work building. That’s right folks, that’s a

product of a proud Air Force Civilian Employee.

Laziness (n.) – Risking to drop everything you carry rather than walking twice.

Web MD (n.) – Something that makes a mild cold into a deadly disease that will kill you within 24 hours.

Poor (adj.) When you have too much month left at the end of your money

Vegetarian (n.) – A bad hunter.  Someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.

Calories (n.) – Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Irish Handcuffs (n.) – When a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands at the same time.

I don’t know, but that makes pretty much sense to me.  How else is the fire going to get out?

Feet (n.) – A device used for finding Legos in the dark.

That’s nice (phr.) – What you say when you’re talking on the phone and you zone out in the middle of the other person’s story.

Money can’t buy happiness (phr.) – A saying created by poor people to help curb their jealousy of the rich.

Relationship (n.) – The ability to put up with someone’ else’s bullshit, usually of the opposite sex, for a very long period of time.

Orgasm (n.) – The meaning of life.

English (n.) – A language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.

Cell phone (n.) – A device used for looking less alone while in public places by yourself.

Single (n.) – A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.

Definitely Democratic thinking.

Synonym (n.) – A word used in the place of the one you can’t spell.

Balanced diet (n.) – One cheeseburger in each hand.

 

Five Unshakeable Facts
1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.
2. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – PRICELESS.
4. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.
5. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, and Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently the sign “Stroke Patients Here” meant something completely different than I assumed.

I am going to end this issue with this friggin’ awesome story.  Thank you Ginny, another Jerseyite who knows that anything or anyone from Jersey can be amazing!

A real estate sign that was washed away during Hurricane Sandy just showed up in France.

Diane Turton Realtors of Point Pleasant posted a photo to their Facebook page of one of their rental signs lying on the beach in France. How it got there is a truly incredible story.

The sign was discovered by beachgoer Hannes Frank on the shores of Bordeaux, France. The Diane Turton Realtors sign belonged to the Wall branch and was most likely from one of their waterfront listings.  It’s believed that the sign was washed away during Hurricane Sandy and made the impossible journey all by itself from the Garden State to France.

Friggin’ awesome!

Cheers!

Good Morning Campers,

It’s 1030pm and I just walked in the door from working all day.  I haven’t been working at my regular job, but working at everything else of which I haven’t been able to do because of my regular job.  But, since I went on line to find out the latest, I thought I’d share it with you. 

5:50 p.m.

An Indiana congresswoman says a teacher who stopped a school shooting has been released from a hospital.

U.S. Rep Susan Brooks says she met Saturday with Jason Seaman at the Noblesville, Indiana, school where the shooting occurred Friday. She says Seaman is a “hero teacher” who stopped the violence.

Seaman and a student were shot by another student at Noblesville West Middle School. Ella Whistler’s family says she’s in critical but stable condition.

Seaman is credited with knocking a gun away and tackling the shooter.

So, the hero-teacher, Jason Seaman has been released from the hospital.  That’s pretty damn good for someone who’d been shot three times. On the other hand, Ella Whistler, who’s picture is in the header, is in critical, but stable condition.  Keep praying campers.

I also thought I’d share some of the comments I’ve received…

From my adopted mom, Diaman:

“Excellent issue today…very well said…very well done.  It should be printed in every newspaper in the country and every magazine.  I loved every well expressed word.”

Thanks mom, that really means a lot.

Next, from my brother, Lethal Leprechaun:

“Couldn’t have said it better myself Impish.
Probably more long-windedly but not better.
Good on ya mate!”

Thanks brother. You saying that is important to me…and I appreciate it.  I also appreciate the text messages.  Let’s try and talk tomorrow.

Next is from Rodney:

“Super rant.  Everything that needs to be said.”

Thank you Rodney.  I don’t know that it’s everything, but it doesn’t do any good if no one does anything.  All of you parents out there, please talk to your kids, talk to your school administrators.  We need to get this worked out.

Tom W. says:

“Great rant.  I really appreciate you and the work you do with Laffs and the full time work you do with the military. (apparently)”

Thanks Tom.  Although I’m not really sure what the (apparently) means. 

For those of you who don’t know, my work with the military has now reached 25 years as of yesterday…well…Friday.  I spent 12 years active duty in the Air Force as a Weapons Mechanic, which was then changed to the worst acronym in the military.  Aircraft Armament Systems Specialist – A ASS.  Pretty appropriate.

Then I made one of those bone-head decisions that you look back on and regret … I got out because they pissed me off.  Long story for another time.

After another 12 years of working restaurants, I got a job as a civilian cop working for the Air Force on a 1 year temporary assignment that lasted 2 years.  See, a month after 911, with Izzy Dragon being a month old (she was born the day before 911) the company I worked for, since no one was spending money after 911 because everyone was worried about gas prices going through the roof, etc., went through every restaurant they owned and fired…I’m sorry … down-sized … the most expensive manager.  Nice, right?  They’ve since lost most of their restaurants. 

Anyway, after the Air Force said, “what the hell is this guy still doing here, he was supposed to be let go a year ago” I worked as a dispatcher for the State Police (and many other part-time jobs at the same time because although it was probably the best job I ever had, it was also the worst paying.

But that led to (eventually) the job I have now.  I am a civilian, back working with my Air Force brethren.  I am the Deputy Emergency Manager and a CBRNE Survival Instructor.  CBRNE being Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and high-yield Explosive.  Basically, I teach the military guys how to stay alive in crappy environments.  In June I will have been doing that for 11 years.  So yeah, apparently, I do work full time for the military.

Okay, so I got off on a tangent there. 

And finally, and most appropriately, giving her the last word…at least in the comments, Ginny says:

“I agree with every word you said…this is not an acceptable way of living with school children being killed in their classrooms.”

Yeah, it is not acceptable.  Not acceptable at all.

So, that’s it.  Kind of an odd update, but my mind and my emotions are going along about Mach 5, but I know that you all will take it for what it’s worth.

Love  you all and thanks for all your prayers.

Good Morning Campers,

I’m sorry to do this, but I’m mad as hell and I have to.  I’m going to start today’s issue with a

Can somebody please tell me what in the holy hell is wrong with this world?  Another school shooting in Texas, with the benign euphemism of “mass shooting”. 

Please.

Ten people murdered, nine of them children, all killed by another child.

What the hell is wrong with us that we all find this acceptable? 

Okay, so not acceptable, but not horrifying either.  Why are we not doing more to keep guns out of the hands of kids?  Kids, who have no concept of their own mortality, much less someone who has bullied them or picked on them or not gone out with them or any of the myriad of “life ending” problems that teenagers deal with on a weekly or even daily basis.

Remember when you were a teenager?  All hormones and prickly edges?  If a girl smiled in the same room as us, we were unable to speak for 17.5 minutes and all it took for one of the jocks or bullies to pick on us was a day that ended in the letter Y.

But, those of us who had access to firearms would never THINK of taking one to school to settle things, because we KNEW what they could do and how to properly handle them.  So, why didn’t we teach that to our kids?  And don’t think for even a second that it isn’t our fault. 

Because it is.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying it’s YOUR fault, or my fault for that matter since my kids KNOW gun safety, but it is OUR fault, as in OUR generation’s fault.  This whole me, me, me mentality and the entitlement generation and the “gonna get me some” thought.  The idea that it is alright to take a gun to settle an argument, or to stop a bully.  Why are we even letting our kids pick on other of our kids?  If I found out my kid was bullying I WOULD KICK HIS ASS.  But no, what we do instead is to say, “oh not my little angel.”  Little Angel my left butt cheek!

The mean ones are REALLY man and the weak ones are pussies!  Okay, so here it is, really simple.  Here’s how to fix the problem.  And we can fix it right here and right now.  I am a full supporter of the 2nd amendment.  I may not own an AR, but if I could afford one I would.  And in answer to the quite legitimate question posed by Mr. Matthew Walther in his excellent essay on the website The Week (http://theweek.com/articles/774000/how-america-normalized-murder-schoolchildren) entitled “How America normalized the murder of schoolchildren”.  He postulates that the owners of AR-15s should be able to explain why they need those types of weapons without falling back on the “excuse” of the second amendment.  Well, without getting into the obvious argument in regards to the legitimacy of the second amendment, I can say that the primary reason for owning such a firearm is the same reason that the left wants to take those weapons away from us.  Because those are combat weapons and they must take them from us before they can take everything else away from us.  By holding on to them, we keep the wanna-be despots a tiny bit more honest than if we didn’t have them.

Call it a deterrent force.

But that leads us right to the first step in controlling and fixing this issue of the school shootings. 

Step #1: Parents and adults, lock your fucking guns up!  And keep the keys secured, too.  What the hell is wrong with you?  You don’t own a GUN until you own a GUN LOCKER!!!

Step #2: Teachers and school people, open your eyes!  This bullying crap is going on right under your noses and the school administrators are lying about it.  Indiana schools reported some of the lowest bullying numbers ever and every parent knows how much bullshit that is, so much so that the local news actually ran a story on it.  Step up and do what’s right.  If you need to walk the kids through a metal detector and search them every day then that’s what you have to do until this problem is fixed!

Step #3: Back to you parents again, stop raising victims!  Do you tease your kids?  Pick on them from an early age to toughen up their skin?  Or do you encourage their siblings to stop their teasing because everyone should love everyone and float off over the rainbow in sweetness and light?  I call bullshit!  I don’t mean to abuse your kids, but toughen them up!  It might be nice to think like a hippie and peace and love and all that crap.  I’m a child of the 70’s, I understand the thought process, BUT, THAT IS NOT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN!!!!!!!  And parents, if another parent contacts you and tells you that your kid is bullying another kid either online or in the real world, take it seriously and let them know that the wrath of hell will rain down on them if they don’t stop, and then DO IT! when they don’t believe you, which they won’t the first time, and maybe even the 4th or 6th time if you’ve been a wussie parent and had been phoning it in all this time.

Step #3a:  Snoop, spy, check on, follow up with, peek…check their phone, their laptop, their tablet, their online history.  create fake Facebook personalities or snap chat or anything else you need to and befriend them on line. And pay attention!

And no, I don’t think that’s wrong.

And yes, I am being unfair to some of you parents, and some of you teachers and administrators and you know what?  Who cares!  If you are one of the minority of parents, teachers, etc. who ARE doing the right thing, then of course, THIS DOESN’T APPLY TO YOU.  And don’t become defensive on behalf of the other parents, teachers….yada, yada… because there are good and bad in all paths of life.  And I know that not everyone is perfect, just ask my kids, they’ll tell you what and fill you in, but I’m trying.  And I’m engaged, and if you’re kids are pissed off at you over something then you aren’t trying hard enough.

And if you ARE pissed off at me anyway, too damn bad, because I’m pissed off at the continued murdered children, and if you are still pissed off, then I only have one thing for you…

And with that rant off my chest….at least for a little while…then…

For all the young ladies thinking of getting a tattoo…
REMEMBER – When you get older a butterfly on the back becomes a buzzard in the crack.

Today, Friday, a boy in a 7th grade class in Noblesville, Indiana … about 50 miles from here…asked to be excused from class and returned with 2 hand guns and shot a 13 year-old girl.  His teacher intervened and stopped the boy and got shot 3 times himself.  Abdomen, hip, and somewhere else that I can’t remember and am too friggin’ tired to look back up.  (Forearm) The teacher is a hero and definitely kept this horrible incident from becoming something worse than what it was.  The girl is still in critical condition and of course, because of the ages, no names or anything have been released.  The teacher will be okay, he is in stable condition and is talking to his family.

Several of the men and women I work with have children who attend this school and it has been a long, very difficult day.  There really isn’t anything that I can add that I didn’t already say at the beginning.

I was going to come home from work and finish this post.  (it’s 11 pm on Friday).  That was the plan yesterday.  Then I spent the night Thursday taking care of Mrs. Dragon (that’s another story for another time)  and ended up getting a little less than 2 hours sleep.  I got home from work about 330 and was asleep by 335. 

Izzy dragon, bless her heart, woke me about 930 pm and told me that her mom was asking for me, so I got up and took care of her and realized I had no energy or the proper frame of mind to do anything funny tonight.  Therefore you guys are getting this long winded explanation to say that I’m sorry that this is not your usual issue.

I’m not sure how much longer I can keep doing this ezine.  Life is definitely getting in the way of living.  But, I won’t abandon you guys without first letting you know what’s going on. 

Please, please, please join me in offering prayers to God for all the poor people involved in these school shootings, may God Bless them and bring them peace.  Please pray that the children involved across our country come to their senses, that the adults learn to be parents, that the teachers and administrators of all schools realize that it could happen at their school at anytime and that they need to do what needs to be done.

They JUST released the name of the student and the teacher.  Mr. Jason Seaman (29 years old) was the teacher and is being lauded as a hero, as he should be, and many of the students interviewed on the news.  He and his family released the following statement:

“I want to let everyone know that I was injured but am doing great.  To all the students, you are all wonderful and I thank you for your support.  You are the reason I teach.”

What a hero.

7th grade kids.  12 and 13 year-olds. What the fuck? 

They are interviewing children!  I’ve got to go campers.  Until we talk again.  My love to you all.

I.D.

Good Morning Campers,

It’s been an amazingly busy week!  And to top it off, the rest of the shop went out of town on Friday and won’t be back until next Friday AND I’m working this weekend.  So, Long story short, I NEED TO LAUGH!!!

This is an interesting article:

Back in the day when America was in the “Big War” WWII, these planes were flown by young boys. Politically correct was go to war to break things and kill the enemy. Apparently no one worried about nose art on the bombers.

BTW. More airmen died in WWII than Marines

At the bottom after the pictures there are amazing stats re the Army Air Corps in WWII. This is the important part of the email…

Probably would not be allowed to leave the ground today As someone who still works with the “Big Jets” that still have nose art or ladder door art or any other kind of art I can tell you for SURE that these would not be allowed today.  Because, “my God, what would the ‘PUBLIC’ think?!”  My answer to that is, “Who gives a damn what the public thinks?”  Until that “PUBLIC” goes into harms way, they don’t deserve an opinion.  If you ask any active military or veteran and I’m 100% positive that a large majority would see absolutely nothing wrong with it.  Although I believe the females may have different art in mind.  (Even though the last hour of searching didn’t reveal any.)

Do what?  I wonder…

Chicago Style Pizza Pussy…

She’s such a nice Irish Lass….

Aren’t they all?

Again, aren’t they all?

Everything’s bigger in Texas…

I’m very interested in MY own.

IZA Probably True!!

If that is a picture of one of the Hags, I’m gonna have to visit this Harderwyk place

Why would anyone bail out?

Well, I gave up on silly comments about half way through, so let’s just press on with the rest of the article.

Almost 1,000  Army planes disappeared en route from the US to foreign locations.  But an  eye-watering 43,581 aircraft were lost overseas including 22,948 on combat missions (18,418 against the Western Axis) and 20,633 attributed to non-combat  causes overseas.

In a single 376  plane raid in August 1943, 60 B-17s were shot down That was a 16 percent loss  rate and meant 600 empty bunks in England .  In 1942-43 it was  statistically impossible for bomber crews to complete a 25-mission tour in  Europe .
Pacific theatre  losses were far less (4,530 in combat) owing to smaller forces  committed..  The worst B-29 mission, against Tokyo on May 25, 1945, cost  26 Superfortresses, 5.6 percent of the 464 dispatched from the Marianas..
On average, 6,600 American servicemen died per month during WWII, about 220 a  day. By the end of the war, over 40,000 airmen were killed in combat theatres and another 18,000 wounded.  Some 12,000 missing men were declared dead, including a number “liberated” by the Soviets but never returned.  More  than 41,000 were captured, half of the 5,400 held by the Japanese died in  captivity, compared with one-tenth in German hands.   Total combat casualties were pegged at 121,867.
US manpower made up the deficit.  The AAF’s peak strength was reached in 1944 with  2,372,000 personnel, nearly twice the previous year’s figure.
The losses were huge—but so were production totals.  From 1941 through 1945, American  industry delivered more than 276,000 military aircraft. That number was enough not only for US Army, Navy and Marine Corps, but for allies as diverse as Britain, Australia, China and Russia.  In fact, from 1943 onward, America produced more planes than Britain and Russia combined  And more than Germany and Japan together 1941-45.
However, our  enemies took massive losses.  Through much of 1944, the Luftwaffe sustained uncontrolled hemorrhaging, reaching 25 percent of aircrews and 40  planes a month. And in late 1944 into 1945, nearly half the pilots in  Japanese squadrons had flown fewer than 200 hours.  The disparity of two years before had been completely reversed.

Experience  Level:
Uncle Sam sent  many of his sons to war with absolute minimums of training. Some fighter pilots entered combat in 1942 with less than one hour in their assigned  aircraft.
The 357th  Fighter Group (often known as The Yoxford Boys) went to England in late 1943 having trained on P-39s.   The group never saw a Mustang until shortly before its first combat mission.
A high-time P-51 pilot had 30 hours in type.  Many had fewer than five hours.  Some had one hour.
With arrival of new aircraft, many combat units transitioned in combat.  The attitude was, “They all have a stick and a throttle.  Go fly “em.” When the famed 4th Fighter Group converted from P-47s to P-51s in February 1944, there was no time to stand down for an orderly transition.
The Group commander, Col. Donald Blakeslee, said, “You can learn to fly `51s on the way to the target.
A future P-47 ace said, “I was sent to England to die.”  He was not alone.
Some fighter pilots tucked their wheels in the well on their first combat mission with one previous flight in the aircraft.  Meanwhile, many bomber crews were still learning their trade:  of Jimmy Doolittle’s 15 pilots on the April 1942 Tokyo raid, only five had won their wings before 1941.
All but one of the 16 copilots were less than a year out of flight school..
In WWII flying safety took a back seat to combat.  The AAF’s worst accident rate was recorded by the A-36 Invader version of the P-51: a staggering 274 accidents  per 100,000 flying hours.
Next worst were the P-39 at 245, the  P-40 at 188, and the P-38 at 139.  All were Allison powered
Bomber wrecks were fewer but more expensive.  The B-17 and B-24 averaged 30 and 35 accidents per 100,000 flight hours, respectively– a horrific figure considering that from 1980 to 2000 the Air Force’s major mishap rate was less than 2.
The B-29 was even worse at 40; the world’s most sophisticated, most capable and most  expensive bomber was too urgently needed to stand down for mere safety reasons.. The AAF set a reasonably high standard for B-29 pilots, but the desired figures were seldom attained.
The original cadre of the 58th Bomb Wing was to have 400 hours of multi-engine time, but  there were not enough experienced pilots to meet the criterion.  Only ten percent had overseas experience.  Conversely, when a $2.1 billion B-2  crashed in 2008, the Air Force initiated a two-month “safety pause” rather than declare a “stand down”, let alone grounding.
The B-29 was no better for maintenance. Though the R3350 was known as a complicated,  troublesome power-plant, no more than half the mechanics had previous experience with the Duplex Cyclone.   But they made it work.

Navigators:
Perhaps the greatest unsung success story of AAF training was Navigators.
The Army graduated some 50,000 during the War.  And many had never flown out of sight of land before leaving “Uncle Sugar” for a war zone.  Yet the huge majority found their way across oceans and continents without getting lost or running out of fuel — a stirring tribute to the AAF’s educational establishments.

Cadet To Colonel:
It was possible for a flying cadet at the time of Pearl Harbor to finish the war with eagles on his shoulders.  That was the record of John D Landers, a 21-year-old Texan, who was commissioned a second lieutenant on December 12, 1941.  He joined his combat squadron with 209 hours total flight time, including 2 in P-40s.  He finished the war as a full colonel, commanding an 8th Air Force Group — at age 24.
As the training pipeline filled up, however those low figures became exceptions.
By early 1944, the average AAF fighter pilot entering combat had logged at least 450 hours, usually including 250 hours in training.  At the same time, many captains  and first lieutenants claimed over 600 hours.

FACT:
At its height in mid-1944, the Army Air Forces had 2.6 million people and nearly 80,000 aircraft of all types.
Today the US Air Force employs 327,000 active personnel (plus 170,000 civilians) with 5,500+ manned and perhaps 200 unmanned aircraft.
The 2009 figures represent about 12 percent of the manpower and 7 percent of the airplanes of the WWII peak.

IN  SUMMATION:
Whether there will ever be another war like that experienced in 1940-45 is doubtful, as fighters and bombers have given way to helicopters and remotely-controlled drones over Afghanistan and Iraq .  But within living memory, men left the earth in 1,000-plane formations and fought major battles five miles high,  leaving a legacy that remains timeless.

 

A woman went to the doctor for advice.  She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.

“Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked.

“Actually, yes I do,” she answered.

“Does it hurt you?” he asked.

“No, I rather like it,” she responded.

“Well then,” the doctor continued, “There’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.”

The woman was mystified.  “What?  You can get pregnant from anal sex?”

“Of course,” the doctor replied.  “Where do you think people like Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren, Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, and Al Sharpton came from?”

A weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, “Wow! In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by.  What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, “Notice anything different?”

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist.

She asked, “Do you have Viagra?”

“Yes,” he answered.

She asked, “Does it work?”

“Yes”, he answered.

“Can you get it over the counter?” she asked.

“I can if I take two.”

Damn.

You know, there are so many scams on the internet now-a-days.  I’ll tell you what, as a friend, send me $19.95 and I’ll tell you how to avoid them.

So, one way to find out if you are old or not is to fall down in front of a lot of people.  If they laugh, you’re still young.  If they panic and start running toward you to help, you’re old.

My missus is pissed off with me again.

Last night, while she was fast asleep, I gently removed her tampax and replaced it with a party popper leaving the string hanging out.

I’m telling you!!!

That woman’s got no fucking sense of humor at all!

Comments made in the year 1955!

 

‘I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00.‘

‘Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t Be long before $1,000.00 will only buy a used one.’

‘If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit; 20 cents A pack is ridiculous.‘

‘Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents Just to mail a letter.’

‘If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to Hire outside help at the store.’

‘When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would Someday cost 25 cents a gallon.  Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.’

‘I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they Let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in ‘GONE WITH THE WIND’, It seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.’

 

‘I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put A man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some Fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.’

‘Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the President. ‘

‘It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few Married women are having to work to make ends meet.‘

‘It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire Someone to watch their kids so they can both work.’

‘Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government Takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are Electing the best people to government.’

‘The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, But I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.’

‘There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend. It Costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.’

‘No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $15.00 a day in The hospital, it’s too rich for my blood.’‘

If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.’

When It Comes to Sex

– Accountants do it with Double Entry.
– Bankers do it with interest.
– Bartenders do it ‘on the Rocks’ — except when done ‘neat..’
– Bookkeepers do it for the record.
– Chess players check their Mates.
– Do it with bankers, but most of them are tellers.
– Engineers do it to specifications and a first-order approximation.
– Gardeners do it in the bushes, but keep things trimmed for it.
– Golfers do it in 18 holes.
– Housewives do it almost daily, then weekly, then monthly, and finish up annually — a birthday present for her hubby!
– Journalists do it for Times.
– Laborers do it for time-and-a-half, after working hours, but before clocking out.

And dragons do it with fire!  And baby, it’s hot!

And with that, that’s it.  I hope and pray you are all having a much better week than I am. Cheers!