You know, it’s amazing to me.  The hypocrisy in our government is SO over the top and yet they expect us to just go with the flow and not mention it and let it go.  This whole Hunter Biden thing and the laptop and the absolute proof that the whole Biden family is corrupt … and yet … they want us to believe that NOTHING is going on. 

Kamala was a close contact for COVID and by their own rules must wear a mask in public for the next ten days … and yet … can appear in public in Washington, on the Hill without one.  Pure hypocrisy. 

And just this last weekend, I jumped an NCO’s ass for being late to class and setting a bad example for the younger airman BECAUSE he was an NCO!  And yet, here are the leaders of our country and what kind of an example are THEY setting for the rest of the country?  They should be above reproach in EVERYTHING THEY DO!

As the leader of a shop, I have to be sure that I am above board in everything that I do, if for no other reason than because, what kind of an example am I setting for the younger guys who work for me?  What kind of a precedent am I setting?  Sure, I could get away with it, I’m in charge, who’s going to tell me I can’t? … and yet … should I? 

Of course not!  I should be setting the example.

Hypocrisy should not ever be the rule … and yet … it is.  Take a look at just about all of them.

My Housekeeping Style is best described as

“There appears to have been a struggle”

This is very true and widely adhered to in the Air Force.

More baby pictures of the Whelpling.

If they don’t call the next Fast & Furious film “Fast10 Your Seatbelts” I’m going to be furious.

Yes, English is weird.  It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Some of you have asked about some of my ex-girlfriends…

‘Tis very true…

If you had to choose between drinking wine everyday or being skinny, would you choose Red or White?

Don’t be mad at lazy people…

…they didn’t do anything.

Something Important To Think About 

The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance…

I’ve Needed a Doctor…

I’ve Needed a Teacher…

I NEED Farmers every day…

I’ve NEEDED an auto mechanic, a plumber, a house painter, and a lot of other everyday people.

But, I have NEVER, not even once, NEEDED a pro athlete, a media personality, or a Hollywood entertainer for ANYTHING! 

My cousin got this gig.  He only has to appear out of the street 6 times a day, gets to pick his times, within certain perimeters, and gets two days off a week.  It’s a pretty good gig.

Do you ever feel like your body’s “Check Engine” light has been on and you’re still driving it like “nah, it’ll be fine”?

Every friggin’ day!

Final account of USA military equipment and cash left behind in Afghanistan.

Thanks to the Government Accountability Office, we now have a clear picture of just how much U.S. military equipment has fallen into the hands of the Taliban, thanks to Joe Biden’s bungled withdrawal from Afghanistan.  Let’s have a look… 

Aircraft:  The Taliban now ranks #26 in the world in total military aircraft, thanks to us leaving behind

208 planes and helicopters:

110 helicopters 

60 transport/cargo planes 

20 light attack planes 

18 intelligence/surveillance planes 

Vehicles:  You’ve probably seen the footage of the Taliban riding around in our humvees. 

We left a total of 75,898 vehicles:

42,604 tactical vehicles 

22,174 humvees 

8,998 medium tactical vehicles 

1,005 recovery vehicles 

928 mine-resistant vehicles 

189 armored tanks 

Weapons: Get ready for this…

599,690 of our weapons are now in the hands of the Taliban:

358,530 rifles 

126,295 pistols 

64,363 machine guns 

25,327 grenade launchers 

12,692 shotguns 

9,877 RPGs 

2,606 howitzers 

And you can throw a couple thousand night-vision goggles, surveillance drones, and communication devices on that list as well. 

Price tag:  In total, it adds up to nearly $84 billion dollars in tax-payer-funded U.S. military equipment.

Joe Biden just funded an army of terrorists in Afghanistan. 

Source: GAO analysis of Department of Defense data. 

PS Don’t Forget “THE CASH”,  A ROOM FULL of “CASH”. 

Our worst ENEMY is not the Taliban, but the fool sitting in OUR White House!

My girlfriend says I’m cheap! 

So, to prove her wrong, we went out for some tea and cookies. 

It was quite exciting as she’s never given blood before!

Kinda odd how Liberals think that every Post, Tweet, and Meme needs to be fact checked for truth and honesty but…

NOT THE BALLOT BOX!

Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you.

It’s better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.

Every time I leave a door open my mom asks me if I was born in a barn…

…wouldn’t she remember something like that?

And how embarrassing is it, that the men are attacking her?

What’s the difference between a Woman’s zipper and a Man’s zipper?

When a woman unzips her pants, her Brain doesn’t fall out.

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

I want this sign on the back of MY vehicle.

I’m not crazy…

or weird…

or insane…

my reality is just slightly different than yours!

And that is the PERFECT place to end this one.  My heart is full of the love that is all  of you.  I’ve gotten such warm email and messages from you all.  Thank you for continuing to support me and hold me up, I can’t tell you what it means to me…well, yes, I can.  It is keeping me alive.  Thank you, from the deepest part of my heart.  Love and happiness to you all, until next time.

Spent a bad day today.  Depression is beating me about the head and shoulders, so I am going to do my best to concentrate on other things.  I actually screamed out loud on my drive home from work today.  I usually listen to podcasts when I drive to and from work.  Today, my mind started wandering and, like it normally does, it went to my dear Mary and today’s internal video was all about the last day in the hospital and I found myself with my forehead pressed against her forehead as she passed away.  Driving down the highway at 68 mph is not the best place to be crying your eyes out, so I screamed. 

Didn’t help.

I’m not sure, but I may have scared the shit out of the driver in the next lane. 

I really need to take better care of myself.  I’ve lost all interest in eating.  Which is great for weight loss, but really crappy for health.  I am now taking too much medicine for how much I weigh.  And, I’m getting nauseous in the morning because I’m not eating anything after taking my handful of fucking pills that I take every damn morning. 

And I said I was going to concentrate on other things.  That ain’t working out real well. 

So, let’s move ourselves along to other things, the first of which is laughter…

A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. ~~~

Well, there’s a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn’t know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in:
~~~
Alaska
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Coastal Alabama
~~~~
Coastal Mississippi
~~~~
Coastal Texas
~~~
North Dakota
~~~
Wyoming
~~~
Colorado
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
~~~
And Texas
~~~
Our dipstick is located in the White House!
~~~

Any Questions?
NO? Didn’t think So.

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber

Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over: they promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.

Quoted in ‘Clarence Darrow for the Defence’ by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

John Quinton, American actor/writer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

Oscar Ameringer, “the Mark Twain of American Socialism.”

I offered my opponents a deal: “if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them”.

Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

Texas Guinan, 19th century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

Charles de Gaulle, French general & president

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Doug Larson, English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games

What happens if a politician drowns in a river? That is pollution.

What happens if all of them drown? That is solution !!

I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two are lawyers and three or more are the government.

John Adams (1735 – 1826)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Government. But then I repeat myself.

Mark Twain (1835- 1910)

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the Government and report the facts.

Will Rogers (1879- 1935)

I contend that for a nation to try and tax itself into prosperity, is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965)

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always depend on the support of Paul !

Will Rogers (1879- 1935)

The problem we face today is that the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.

George Bernard Shaw (1856- 1950)

I don’t like political jokes, but a lot of them get elected.

Joseph Badger (1935- 2021)

Baby pictures of the Whelplings

Too few people spontaneously combust.

That is just the right size!  Put them in the freezer, they’d be the right temperature!  Man, I gotta find them!

When a woman says, “Correct me if I’m wrong”

Do not under any, I mean ANY, circumstances do it!

My ex once said he couldn’t live without me and I recently found out he’s still alive. 

More lies.

Dancing with my best friend.

My bank has a new service where they will text you your balance.  It’s cool, I just don’t think they should add “LOL” at the end.

WEDDING NIGHT CONFESSIONS

Husband:  Honey, I have to confess, I’ve slept with loads of prostitutes before I met you! 

Wife:  I just knew I’d seen you somewhere before!!

I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.

Dog:  You are my life!  I will do anything for you!  

Human:  Drop the ball.  

Dog:  Nope.

Is it just me, or does it feel like the years 2020, 2021, and 2022 have been 

Written by 

Stephen King 

Directed by 

Quentin Tarantino 

with a 

Soundtrack by 

Yoko Ono

Behind every husband who thinks he wears the pants in the family…

Is a wife who told him which pants to wear.

OH HELL NO!

So, as you may have guessed, my life kinda blew up again over the weekend.  And I’m just now catching back up.  I think I told you that my surgery is scheduled for June 13th and I have to find a ride to the hospital at 5 am, well…it may not be coming soon enough.  My hip actually gave out on me several times while I was teaching class…once enough to actually bring me crashing into the students desks.  That’s kind of tough to laugh off.  The other times, just enough to to make me stumble around like I was fucking drunk. 

And that just exacerbated my depression even more…to an alarming degree.  The screaming in the car was MILD compared to what I’ve been going through.  It’s been horrible.  It sucks being alone.  I HATE being alone.  I don’t want to be alone.  I want Mary back, dammit! 

THIS

FUCKING

SUCKS!

sIgH…

oKaY …

i’M bAcK … because, what choice do I have? 

You know you guys are keeping me sane, right?  Or what passes for sanity nowadays.  Between you and Izzy Dragon, I’m not really sure what I would do without you guys.  Right now Izzy and I are on a Batman kick.  We watched all the Dark Knight movies and are currently, as I’m writing this, watching the Lego Batman movie. 

It’s Tuesday night and this will post on Thursday to put me back on track, so let’s go ahead and put some more memes and cartoons and stuff out here, shall we? 

DIET TIP: 

Eat food off of other people’s plates.  Those are their calories. 

They don’t count.

I never do sit ups at home as I am against domestic ab use.

After venting to someone, do you ever just sit back and think, “I should’ve kept that to myself.”

Often

And that it is for today.  I tried to throw some extra stuff in here since it’s been so long since I’ve posted…one week to be exact.  I should post again on Saturday and be back on schedule again.  My apologies for my crazy week.  And I hope all of you are doing well.  Love and happiness to you all.

The days are getting shorter and shorter.  I don’t really understand it.  The hours go by sooo slooow and the days go by so quick.  I did finally get my surgery date and I did find out why it’s taken so long.  The second part first.  It’s taken so long because the whole surgery office had COVID, one or two at a time.  I’ve seen this a lot on base.  Where one person brings it into an office, and then a few others get it before anyone knows they have it and before you know it, that office is down for several weeks.  Nobody was seriously hurt, but they did have some lingering effects, from what I understand, and got behind in their surgeries and, well, to the first part of my statement, my surgery is now rescheduled for June 13th.  I don’t have to do the pre-surgery screening appointment again, but I will have to do the lab work and it’s up in the air if I’ll have to do a pre-surgery COVID test.  So…at least that’s going in the right direction. 

And then you’ve got Biden, who publicly says that Putin needs to be put down, like that’s gonna fly in the world stage.  Did you guys see how the 82nd Airborne didn’t even fucking stand up for him in Poland?  Geez! 

And then Will Smith hits Chris Rock … who gives a fuck?   And yet, it seems to be important enough to be on every single news cast.  Fucking morons. 

You know what?  I need some laughter.  So, what do you say, we get to that part?

Pets are wonderful things.  They are fun to take care of, to play with, and can even be useful for different things.  And she even looks really cute in that blue dress.

Okay, so I am NOT a Kid Rock fan. 

Not at all. 

But … I do like this one…

A LOT!!!

Thanks to John S. for sending it my way.

Stephanie texted this to me and I have to say that truer words have NEVER been spoken, EVER:

YOU DON’T JUST LOSE SOMEONE ONCE, 

You lose them over and over, sometimes in the same day.  When the loss, momentarily forgotten, creeps up, and attacks you from behind.  Fresh waves of grief, as the realization hits home, they are gone.
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once, you lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn, and as you awaken,  so does your memory, so does the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart, they are gone.
Again.
Losing someone is a journey, not a one-off.  There is no end to the loss, there is only a learned skill on how to stay afloat, when it washes over.  
Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea, they have a journey ahead of them, and a daily shock to the system each time they realize, they are gone.
Again.
You don’t just lose someone once, you lose them every day, for a lifetime.

~ Donna Ashworth Words

I’ll share with you my response to her… 

Truer words have NEVER been spoken.
Every
Single
Solitary
Day
Over
And
Over
And
Over
Again

That was my response, but I will continue here, today is Tuesday, I actually had a semi-decent day at work today.  I only worked half a day today because I had physical therapy this afternoon for my back, something my doctor wants me to try while I wait for my hip surgery to come ’round.  Anyway, I was driving home, in a decent enough mood, thinking about going home and spending time with …

…when it smacked me right in the fucking face.  I was going home to NOT spending time with Mary because Mary wasn’t at home any more.  It’s like I had forgotten for a few minutes and fell back into old habits and when I remembered it was like the shock of her dying all over again.  I actually screamed “NO!” in the car driving down the highway, started crying and damn near wrecked the car at almost 70 mph. 

And it’s not the first time that something like that has happened to me. 

So, yeah … like I said … over and over and over and …

So, let’s get back to the laughter…  

More pet pictures…you figure out which is which.

Son:  Daddy, I keep hearing noises from my closet.  I think a monster’s in there.  

Me:  Yeah, why do you think mom and I chose the other room?

Hello darkness my old friend.

Darkness:  [2 days later] Sorry, just saw this.

Only Italians understand that “How you doin’?” is just a greeting, not a question.  Nobody really gives a shit how you’re doing.

Yup, that last one is an Impish Dragon original

That does NOT look like a monkey

One of the really cool things about my job is that I get to see cool things sometimes.  And today, I got to take an inside tour of a new plant that is opening up right outside the base.  Arizona Isotopes is opening a cyclotron here right next to our base where they will be making radioactive isotopes mostly for medical, but also for other industries.  And me and a few other people from the base got to take an inside, up close and personal tour of the place.  And he even let me take a picture!!!  You guys want to see what a machine that splits an atom looks like?  This is a cyclotron:

Pretty cool, right?  And when the VP found out that I was an RSO (Radiation Safety Officer) he pretty much offered me a job right on the spot.  They are pretty hard to come by.  I’m not sure if he was kidding or not, but he did mention it like three times during the tour.  LOL.  Anyway, pretty cool gig.

Due to the ridiculous gas prices, I will no longer be stopping at stop signs or red lights.  I can’t afford to idle.  Thank you for your understanding and stay safe.

Did anyone even bother to LOOK at any of those logos before they used them?

My friend DAVID had his ID stolen.  Now he’s just DAV.

What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? 

Asking for a friend.

If a woman says her nipples are pierced the correct response is:

“I don’t believe you.”

That one blows my mind.  

WTF!?!?

I’ve started to do Cross-Fit…

I cross my fingers, and hope that my pants fit.

And that brings us to the end of another issue.  I hope you guys enjoyed this one.  I know I did.  I’m working this weekend so not sure what’s coming from here.  Probably have an episode for Saturday, but not for Monday, but we’ll see.  Love and happiness to you all.

Monday…the weekend is over…they go by so fast.  I actually had a four-day-weekend and it was a weird one.  You guys know how the first two days went, and then the second two days went by in a blink.  I was hoping for some time to decompress, but … nope.  So, right back to it,  But, I do get time with you guys, and that’s the most important part.  That’s the part that matters. 

So, until I have something else to say, let’s get to the laughter.

John S. offers this unusual observation:  

You know, the Porn Industry gave a whole new meaning to the phrase: “Going to Fucking Work”

And you know, I can’t argue with him.

It’s a purse!!!

The way things are going, it wouldn’t surprise me if we soon see…

Apes on horseback with guns…

And at least one near death experience…

“Lady–Lady–Lady–Roll your window down, Lady”

I don’t know if I have a stalker, but if I do … can you drop me off some tacos?

 

One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.

~ Shannon L. Alder

“Everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud.”

Some of our outliers are mounted.

Strong people always have their life in order. 

Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say, “I am okay,” with a smile.

And everyone thought that built in 8 track players were first…

I judge people by how they treat animals, how they treat the wait staff at restaurants, and what they do with their shopping cart when they’re done with it.  

And how they talk to and treat children.

“Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way.”

~ Douglas Pagles

If an old dude ever gives you advice while peeling an apple with a pocket knife and eating pieces right off the blade, you should probably take it.

I don’t always learn my lesson, but when I do, you can bet I learned it the hard way.

AND IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF TO NO FUCKING END!!!!!

It wouldn’t be so bad if she was the only stupid person who believed that OR if that was the only stupid thing she believed.

I found a video of exactly what I did when I was active duty military.  I was a Weapons Mechanic and one of the Aircraft I worked on was the A-10 Thunderbolt II.  Lovingly called the Warthog or the Tank Killer.  Now, the part that I played is the one where you see the guys loading the ammo in the guns and the bombs and missiles on that wonderful jet.  Oh…and they aren’t called Weapons Mechanics anymore.  Now they have the worst acronym in the Air Force.  Now they are called Aircraft Armament System Specialists.  That’s right, they are A ASS.  But, if you ever met any weapons troops before (including this one) you’d know it’s a pretty appropriate acronym.  But here’s the video.  It’s a wonderful 15 minutes long.  I suggest you use full screen mode to get the full effect!!

And how many of you have no fucking idea who these two people are?

And that’s it my friends.  May your day be filled with love and happiness.  Until next time.

 

Today is Thursday, my dear Mary’s Birthday and I’ve spent the entire day crying and trying not to cry.  I haven’t been overly successful.  I did take Izzy out to Target and to the doctor’s office to pick up some orthotics for her feet.  And I discovered that one of my headlights is out.  I was wondering why it was so damn hard to see on the way to work the other morning.  I watched a YouTube video on how to change the headlight bulb on an Chevy Equinox which was only a minute and ten seconds long.  Really easy.  But, you have to go through the wheel well!  Through the friggin’ wheel well to change the headlight!  And if it stops raining before I finish this, I’ll tell you guys how it goes. 

Anyway, in a misguided and somewhat hopeless attempt to keep my mind occupied on other things, let’s go ahead and get some laughs out here.  

Every time I fold laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist. 

Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding.

Wood Elves?

A Wise Man Said:  Don’t seek revenge.  The rotten fruits will fall by themselves.

Little Girl:  [Blows out birthday candles] A dragon appears out of thin air 
Screaming, crying, yelling guests. 
Chaos  
Dragon: [sigh] Birthday wish?  
Little Girl:  [Excited nodding]  
Dragon:  You just want to climb my scales for a while, don’t you?  
Little Girl:  Ya!  
Dragon:  Okay, but only for an hour.

A couple of really nice comments from you guys…

Dragon Laff version of Squid Game

We’re about $1 away from people calling off work for being “out of gas.”

Okay, a couple of more nice comments from you guys:

An elderly patient gets hearing aids from a doctor.  After short time, he meets the doctor again. 

The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect.  Your family must be really pleased.” 

The patient replied, “Oh, I am in a funny situation now.  I haven’t told my family yet.  I just sit and listen to their conversations.  In a month, I’ve changed my will three times!”

I’ve decided to add “extensive experience in dealing with stupid people” to my resume.  That HAS GOT to be a marketable skill.

A day may come when I get enough sleep and don’t need coffee. 

But, it is not this day.

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.

You know gas prices are high when the guy in the lifted truck isn’t revving his engine at Walmart during mating season.

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?” asked the wife.

“No,” he said.

She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.

“Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?” she asked.

“No,” he said.

She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.

“Now,” she said, “have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?”

“No,” he said, intrigued.

“Well, go and take a quick look in the garage.”

I hate when you give someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

The irony for mankind is that a computer program asks a human to prove that they’re not a robot.

So, before we end this one, let’s go back to the headlight issue.  First, let me show you the YouTube that I watched to learn how to do this

So, her pretty pink nail polish really throws you off.  Because one thing the video DOESN’T tell you is that without a vehicle lift, you need the flexibility of a snake, and the hand strength of a FUCKING GORILLA!!!!  And four minutes and change, MY ASS!!!  We … Izzy and I — BOTH OF US — were at it for AT LEAST ten times that.  Forty-five minutes at least. 

That one screw, the only REAL part that needs to be removed, you saw that one, right? 

Rusted shut, and snapped right off. 

Yeah — it went downhill from there.

But, it is done.  And it works. 

And the broken off screw was drilled out

And in its place is a wood screw that fit in the plastic frame and works. 

So, in the long run, it was a successful day and then that was it.  This one is done and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did.  Until next time.