I like that header. (Thanks Aussie Pete!) That is literally me, every single night, reading in bed, not YouTubing, not death scrolling, not Facebooking, READING…on my Kindle app on my phone. I have thousands of books electronically because they are cheaper and easier to carry than physical books.

Why? Do I like electronic books better than physical ones? Not particularly. But I am frugal. Now, an expensive E-book is about $7 and I can buy it instantly wherever I am. A cheap paperback is about $12 and I have to go out to the bookstore to get one.  

I average (AVERAGE) three books a week, that’s a savings (not counting travel time and gas money) of about $15 a week, $65 a month, or $780 a year. So … yeah. Plus, it duplicates over onto my tablet, which reads more like a book when I’m in a place where I can use my tablet easier.

Yes, I read … a LOT. That’s just my leisure reading. That doesn’t count my Bible reading, my scripture study reading (different than my Bible reading), my Jail scripture study reading, my work book reading to keep up on the changing world of CBRN stuff. It helps that I also read quickly. AND that I LOVE to read. The key to defeating the brain degenerative beast is exercising said brain diligently and often. I also do puzzles daily.

So yeah … I like the above header.

I also like to laugh, so let’s get to that part too, shall we?

EXACTLY!

Aaaannnddd some won’t get that one.

And look exactly the same.

Actually, not a bad idea.

A Senior’s Version of Facebook

For those who don’t quite understand Facebook …I’ve decided to make friends in real life using the same rules.

• Every day I walk down the street telling people …
  • What I ate, 
  • How I feel, 
  • What I didyesterday, 
  • And what I’m doing later – and with who.

• I show them pictures of …
  • My family, 
  • My dog, 
  • Me in the garden, 
  • Fixing things in the garage, 
  • Driving around town … 
  • Basically everything I do.

• Then I …
  • Listen to their conversations, 
  • Give them a “thumbs up,” 
  • And tell them I “like” them.

• And you know what? It works just like Facebook …
  • I already have four people following me: 
    • Two police officers, 
    • A private investigator, 
    • And a psychiatrist.

No kidding.  I don’t get those places where you go up to the counter, order your food, they hand you your food and they expect a tip.  FOR WHAT?

Again… there are those …

Overheard at a grocery story by someone waiting in line behind a woman speaking on her cellphone in another language. Ahead of her was a white man.

After the woman hangs up, he speaks up.

Man: I didn’t want to say anything while you were on the phone, but you’re in America now. You need to speak English.

Woman: Excuse me?

Man: [very slowly] If you want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. In America, we speak English.

Woman: Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England.

As a CBRN Specialist, I can tell you in my professional opinion this is all excellent advise. (CBRN = Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear) PS: don’t eat the white powder

I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.

Major props to someone!

I just ordered a life alert bracelet so if I get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Hmm, we just saw this one with different captions.

Yeah, and we used to send the new guys out to fetch 6 feet of flight line, 2 gallons of prop wash, left handed screwdrivers, glass hammers, etc., etc., etc.

I misspelled “I’m unstoppable” and my phone autocorrected to “I’m unstable” and honestly, that’s fair.

A million kids want to clean up the earth. A million parents want them to start with their rooms.

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life until you die.

Mom got mad ’cause we kept swiping her clothespins! 

Yup, it’s gonna happen that way, I’m pretty much convinced.

Joe from NJ writes and sends us this one:

This takes just a moment of thought to make perfect sense.

He: Do they celebrate Arbor Day in Boston?

She: Yes, I suppose they do. Why wouldn’t they?

He: How do they know they’re not honoring that old Swedish “Mama Mia” group?

All mushrooms are edible, some only once!!!

Me, too.

Or in my case, several of these drawers.

Why must I prove that I am me to pay my bills over the phone? Do strangers call to pay my bills? And if they do, why don’t you let them?

That’s if for today my friends. I hope you had as much fun as I did. Until next time.