Okay, so jumped right in after the last one, so I really don’t have anything to say.  So let’s get to it…

A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Who’s first?”

If you want your dog to take a pill:

1. Get a piece of cheese.

2. Eat the cheese for energy.

3. Get ready to wrestle your dog.

How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning?

Medium rare.

I always see more people walking into Walmart than out of Walmart.

But the meat is cheap so I don’t ask questions.

Absolutely one of the sweetest cartoons I’ve ever seen!

Not sure how true any of the next is … but it was sent to me so I’m passing it on to you.

They call it “No Kings” because it sounds better than “TDS Group Therapy Walk”

Tell me again how this came about through evolution…

With so many things coming back in style…

I can’t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.

And proving that Noah’s flood could have easily … EASILY formed the Grand Canyon amongst many others. There’s proof that that’s exactly what happened. The Bible doesn’t lie. Every time “science” proves something that goes against the Bible, in the end, science is proven wrong and the Bible is proven right. Eventually.

Him: Tell me your wildest fantasy? 

Me: Sleeping through the night and waking up to a clean house, a fit body, no wrinkles, laundry done and put away, a full on buffet breakfast with no calories, and a million bucks in my purse.

New self care ritual: Talk to myself like I talk to my dog:

“Hey cutie! Look at that belly! You’re so smart! Do you want a treat?”

Why do people say “tuna fish sandwich” yet nobody says “chicken bird sandwich”?

Well, I mowed the lawn. I had to charge the battery first, which I figured, but after that it was … a pain in the rump. I’ve got a burn pile in the middle of the far back yard, a tree down in the far side of the far back yard and a pile of old fence in the front of the far back yard. I got the mower stuck once trying to mow around all that stuff and … well, like a said, a pain in the rump.

I also got my yearly property tax statement in the mail today. Luckily it’s paid by escrow with my house payment. 

They increased the assessed value of my house by 30%! Yay! 

They even lowered my property tax rate! Yay again!

Now…they decreased Library Tax, County Tax, School Tax, City/Town Tax, City/Town (Debt) (whatever that is) and Township Tax. The only thing that went up was School (Debt).

And yet…

My total tax debt for the year went UP from last by … drumroll please…

30%!

Imagine that.  The same amount, after all that manipulation with the numbers, that they upgraded my house value by. I had to laugh.

But!!!!

I still live in one of the cheapest places in the country to live.

So, it’s all good.

I’m blessed.

Until next time my friends.