Still Sunday.
As I mentioned towards the end of the last issue, I was going to try and start this issue today, Sunday, and I have. Not sure how far I’ll get, but let’s see.
Since I spoke to you last, I left to get Izzy from work, went to the grocery, took the dogs out, did my FBI homework for the day, sent photos of a letter that Mary got from the courts about her sister TO her sister, of which she knew nothing about, and have returned to my favorite people.
Yes indeed.
At times, I do lead an interesting life.
But remember the old curse…
May You Live In Interesting Times.
Yup. That’s me.
It’s wrong of me, I know, but I wish cartoons would continue sometimes so we could see what happens next.
Thanks to Ted for sending this one. Just to show you how far behind I am … or perhaps more precisely, how many submissions I have in reserve, I got this on August 27th.
I have no idea who put this together, but it is wonderful, especially if you’re North of 70!
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me.
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one’s seen him since.
We danced to ‘Little Darlin,’ and sang to ‘Stagger Lee’
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..
We didn’t have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn’t talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they’d go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We’d never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren’t named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We’d never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and ‘gay’ meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.
We hadn’t seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.
And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.
T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.
And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill
And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.
But all things have a season, or so we’ve heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We’ve come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.
So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they’re using smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children’s children of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.
If you didn’t grow up in the fiftys,
You missed the greatest time in history,
Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.
And another good one from Ted
I asked a friend who has crossed 70 & is heading towards 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following:
I decided to share this for all my friends. Why do we have to wait to be 60 or 70 or 80, why can’t we practice this at any stage and age?
I borrowed this. I don’t know who to credit it to, but thank you!
Painting by: James Coates
Sadly I wonder, how many won’t get this one.
While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening.
I wasn’t aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them.
The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.
“This is our prison quartet,” he said, “behind a few bars and always looking for the key.”
My great, great, great, great, great, great. great, great-grandfather.
Some Boy Scouts from the big city were on a camping trip for the first time.
The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten.
Then one of them saw some lightening bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up, now they’re coming after us with flashlights!”
Some do’s and don’t do’s for all you travelers
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner’s: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours — we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to Russia, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
– English well talking.
– Here speeching American.
So sad…
A priest and nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel.
The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
Priest: Sister, I don’t think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I’ll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed.
Nun: I think that would be okay.
They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m terribly cold. Priest: Okay, I’ll get you a blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold.
Priest: Okay Sister, I’ll get you another blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold. I don’t think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night.
Priest: You’re probably right…get up and get your own damn blanket.
At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns.
One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.
She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”
The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’
A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit.
The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit. On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”
The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”
After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”
Yup! That one is definitely me!
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: “I don’t think so!”
“Just go out there and give your sermon with fire and determination. You’re not afraid of the congregation, are you?”
“Oh, no,” smiled the vicar. “The choir and I have them outnumbered.”
When the heck is America going to wake up?
https://www.yahoo.com/news/taxpayers-fund-trans-surgery-inmate-172952731.html
Taxpayers should fund trans surgery for inmate who murdered baby, judge rules
Taxpayers must fund sex reassignment surgery for an inmate who murdered an 11-month-old baby, a judge in Indiana has ruled.
Born Jonathan C Richardson, the inmate now known as Autumn Cordellionè is serving a 55-year prison sentence after being convicted of murder by strangulation in 2001. The victim was Cordellionè’s stepdaughter.
The inmate has sought sex reassignment surgery, including an orchiectomy and vaginoplasty, arguing it is the “only remedy” to treat “persistent gender dysphoria”.
The state of Indiana prohibits its prison service from funding gender reassignment surgeries for its inmates.
But the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) sued the Indiana Department of Corrections on Cordellionè’s behalf, arguing the state law violated the Eighth Amendment’s prohibition of “cruel and unusual punishment”.
The lawsuit, first brought in 2023, said Cordellionè has identified as a woman since the age of six but was only diagnosed with gender dysphoria in 2020 and has been prescribed female hormones and testosterone blockers.
Cordellionè has “consistently taken” the hormone medications ever since and has been receiving other accommodations behind bars in an all-male facility, including women’s “panties, make-up, and form-fitting clothing”, the lawsuit said.
Attempted castration
Court filings revealed Cordellionè has a history of self-harm, including an attempted castration.
The ACLU argued the next step of receiving sex reassignment surgery, or gender-affirming surgery, was “a medical necessity”.
“She believes that the only remedy for her persistent gender dysphoria, and the serious harm it causes her, is to receive gender-affirming surgery, specifically an orchiectomy and vaginoplasty,” it said in court filings.
A federal judge in Indiana has now agreed that denying the surgery would be unconstitutional.
“Specifically, Ms Cordellioné has shown that her gender dysphoria is a serious medical need, and that, despite other treatments … provided her to treat her gender dysphoria, she requires gender-affirming surgery to prevent a risk of serious bodily and psychological harm,” Judge Richard Young said in his ruling.
He ordered Indiana’s Department of Corrections to take “all reasonable actions” to ensure the killer receives the sex reassignment surgery.
The state’s attorney-general vowed to fight the ruling. Todd Rokita, a Republican, told Fox News: “Taxpayers do not want to pay for these kinds of surgeries.
“The science is not at all settled that this is a proper procedure or that not doing this procedure amounts to cruel and unusual punishment.”
“You can undoubtedly expect our office to appeal this decision,” he added in a post on X.
Ken Falk, the ACLU of Indiana’s legal director, said the ruling marked “a significant victory for transgender individuals” in the state’s prisons.
“Denying evidence-based medical care to incarcerated people simply because they are transgender is unconstitutional. We are pleased that the court agreed,” he said.
Cordellionè was convicted of strangling the 11-month-old baby while her mother — the murderer’s then wife — was out at work on Sept 12, 2001.
According to Fox News, Cordellionè filed a separate lawsuit last year against a prison chaplain for allegedly preventing the inmate from wearing a hijab outside of a cell despite identifying as a Muslim woman.
A Few Lessons I’ve Learned in a Mountain Hurricane:
-No one is talking about politics
-Most used phrase: “How can I help?”
-Greatest concern: Friends and Family
-No one cares that AL beat GA
-Men love power tools
-Everyone wants to do something
-People are generous
-Trash bags are a vital necessity
-Always carry work gloves in your car
-Dawn detergent is a magic brew
-Our truck bed will only hold 317 tarps
-Water is a precious commodity
-You can never buy enough diapers
-Cell phone service is a modern day lifeline
-Helicopters can land almost anywhere
-Never drive over live electric wires
-A sleeping bag and a hot meal is priceless
-God isn’t dead in the midst of a tragedy
-An old determined man can drive a tractor through hell or high water
-Women can do more than make sandwiches
-Dragging a tree out of a stranger’s yard may make him cry
-You don’t need a t-shirt advertising your church to be used by God
-The hours are long, but the days are short
-The sweetest fellowship is often found in the nastiest places
-Jesus lives in the midst of our brokenness
Shared from Jeri Ferguson Jones
While in a pub in England, a condom machine in the men’s room had this on the ad: “Manufactured to strict British standards.”
Underneath, someone had scratched, “So was the Titanic.”
A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the race track. The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse.
The analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before placing a wager.
“You’re too cautious and detail oriented,” the broker criticized as he placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money.
“What’s your secret?” the analyst asked.
“It’s simple,” the broker explained. “I have two kids… ages two and six… so I add their ages together and bet on number nine.”
“But two and six is eight, not nine!” protested the analyst.
“See!” the broker replied, “I told you you’re too cautious and detail-oriented.”
Our dear buddy Joe from NJ had this to offer today:
I normally don’t pass stock tips on, but I thought this exception would be ok. If you hold any of the following stocks, you may want to review:
American Can Co
Interstate Water Co.
National Gas Co.
Northern Tissue Co.
Due to the uncertain market conditions, at this present time, we advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas.
You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean…
Yeah, eventually, I guess it is. But it’s gonna get cold first.
As I end this, I want to ask you all to join me in prayers for our brothers and sisters in Florida and for Papa Dragon Most Senior and his dear wife, who will be smacked with the granddaddy of all hurricanes.
While I was sitting at work today (Monday) I got a Flash Message in the morning that Milton had been categorized as a level 1 hurricane.
Then like two hours later I got another one that said it was a category 3.
Then less than two hours after that I got yet another one that it was now a CAT 5!
I will admit that my first thought was, “What the heck happened to 2 and 4?” But then I started to worry about my Dad who will be right in the middle of all this and probably doesn’t have a clue about what’s going on.
So please join me as we ask our Father in Heaven to protect ALL the people in Florida who are going to be struck with this demonstration of His awesome power. We know that there is a plan behind why He is allowing this to happen and we thank Him for His blessings in our lives and ask Him to keep our loved ones, our friends, and our families safe, warm, and protected over the coming days. We thank you, Lord for the awesome sacrifice your Son made in the forgiveness of the sins of all of us and we acknowledge our responsibility in forgiving those who have trespassed against us. Father we thank you and ask these things in your loving Son’s name. Amen.
Dragon Laffs 