Just some of the critter friends that we’ve featured on the show from time to time. And some that I’m sure you’ll see again in the future…plus others. I’ve actually started this one on Sunday evening while I’m listening to the police scanner of an active shooter event in Indianapolis at the Greenwood Park Mall while talking to my brother The Owl on text message. He got the message through his “sources” down in Florida and reached out to me to make sure that neither Izzy Dragon nor I was in Indy today and he showed me how to use an app that both of us had to tune in to something in particular from anywhere in the country. So…pretty cool. There is a feature on there called “Popular” and it goes by the most listeners and when I tuned in there were more than 21,000 people listening in on this active shooter incident…on an app…on their phones! Wild! I talk on the radio as part of my job all the time, and you can listen on this app, so I guess I’m gonna have to mind my P’s and Q’s a little bit closer, lol.
Nah!
Anyway, Izzy Dragon is at work tonight and I had plans to binge watch Stargate Universe that my buddy Wheats sent me Season 1 on Blu-ray on. I really am enjoying it. I’m on like episode 8 or something like that. It’s really pretty good. I’m not much into the Stargate thing, saw the original movie and that was about it, so this could jumpstart me into a whole new genre of stuff to watch.
Okay, so I just looked it up and I’m actually watching the last of the Stargate stuff first! Wheats, buddy what are you doing to me? But again, that’s okay. I may go back and watch the other stuff, I may not. More of a book person, anyway.
So, at this point, I think it’s time to slip into the beginnings of the fun stuff. I have some mail and comments and stuff to get to, but for now, let’s start in on the laughter.
I’m trying to cut back on sugar so I started to browse the internet for advice on how to do so.
The first website I went to asked if I wanted to accept cookies.
……
This isn’t going to be easy.
This chef on TV just said, “Where there’s fat, there’s flavor.” I know he was talking about food, but I still took it as a compliment.
I need you all to proof-read your posts more carefully. Because if I steal your post and there are spelling mistakes and stuff, I can’t have people thinking I’m stupid when it was really you.
“I wuv you!” Yeah … I was a bit goofy in high school.
Bet you all aren’t laughing at the Amish any more. As they go clickety-clacking right on past the gas station.
I love to sing. My music collection is mostly 70s rock and it’s amazing how I remember the words to songs that I haven’t heard in years. One of the favorite things Mary and would do is put on the music collection in the car and drive and sing. But, she would always turn the volume way up so she couldn’t hear me, BECAUSE I SUCK! Oh my lord I am so bad. But, I truly do love to sing!
My 3 year-old daughter asked, “Where does poo come from?”
To make it simple, I said, “You just had breakfast, right?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“Well, the food goes in your mouth and down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then what’s left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as poo.”
She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then she asked, “And Tigger?”
What should you do if you have two belly buttons?
Give one to the Naval Reserve.
DO IT NOW!
“Fly my dragon! Bring home my treasure!”
To the thief who took my anti-depressants:
I hope you’re happy!
[Walks into a book store]
Me: Do you have any books on turtles?
Worker: Hard back?
Me: Yeah, with little heads.
When you have two kids but only 17 cookies left and can’t have them fighting about unfair distribution so you eat all 17 cookies because you’re a good parent.
A thief broke into my house last night…He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.
“Are you decent?”
Not morally, but I’m wearing pants if that’s what you’re asking.
Let’s take the opportunity here to take a few minutes and do some mail, comments, stuff like that. Let’s start with one from Marsha, our nurse friend from several days back…
Dragon Laffs #2048
I like what I read in this really really old Book. It said if a man will not work he shall not eat…. simple. So kids in my house learned to work; help plant and weed the garden, set the table, clear the table, do the dishes, and any other task that a child could do. I say today kids have attention deficit disorder. Parents are on their phones and the kids do not get attention needed to make a decent adult.
Oh and I’d love to tell you that the pain of your loss will get better, but I try not to lie. I still cry when I talk about the loss of my mother and that was 56 years ago, I was 10. There have been so many more since then and the hole in the heart grows larger. I have learned to adapt, improvise, overcome….and avoid…not a marine, they don’t take old ladies. We wont talk about my trust issues. I’d go talk to a specialist, but they would get lost in the maze of walls I have had to put up. That Book tells me I’m not in control and I must deal with that. Soooooo I quilt! Helps calm me making things from scraps and stabbing something thousands of times helps too.
I can understand the part about stabbing something thousands of times. Way back in my distant past, I taught myself how to cross stitch when I was sitting in front of the TV so I wouldn’t smoke or eat. (I also tie knots in paracord). I used to tell people that I don’t have a problem with stabbing something or someone over and over again.
I do agree with the “if you don’t work, you don’t eat” thought. And I think most “right” thinking people would agree with us. There are some exceptions … but those are exceptions! Few and far between.
Now, one of our other favorite nurses weighs in on a different hot topic we’ve been bandying about:
Dragon Laffs #2048
One thing that the pro abortionists never address. The reason that 13 year olds were allowed abortions without parental consent was to protect the rapist. The men who would rape a child are those who push for younger and younger ages for abortions do so to protect themselves, not the child. States should protect the life of the child, but need to obtain evidence and prosecute the pedophiles
I agree 100%. Minors are not allowed to have any other medical care or procedure done without their parent being notified, so how and why are we allowing them to have this one done? It makes no sense other than to protect the rapist. I know that some of you will say it is to protect the other, possibly young “partner”, but in all honesty, if they were mature enough to make a baby, then they are going to need the support of their family to get themselves through this next part, too.
We’ll do some more here in a little bit.
Biden can blame it on whatever he wants to blame it on, but we all know it’s his fucking fault!
Okay, we’ll do a few more to catch up to present, okay?
Dragon Laffs #2050
The problem with impeaching Brandon is then we’re stuck with Laughing Cow. I think she’d be a million times worse
Aww, this is way too true. So, we’d have to impeach both of them.
Shit, then we’d get drunk Nancy…or would we?
Dragon Laffs #2050
My husband of 62 and 3/4 years passed away the 8th of June. I understand what your going thru
I had to grieve, put on a cheerful attitude when I sat with him for 5 months watching him fail. Go home and fall apart. The 27th of this month would have been his birthday, next month our 63rd anniversary. Those are going to be hard days to hold it together.
Right now I feel lost, we did most things as a couple, so I’m having a hard time feeling like I fit in anywhere.
There I’ve cried on your shoulder long enough. This is the hardest road a person has to journey down by yourself!
Helen, I am with you dear friend. And you can cry on my shoulder any time. You are 100% right, this is the hardest road a person has to journey down by themselves. No matter how many people you have around you, you are still by yourself. look up in your area and see if you have an organization called Grief Share. They are the organization that is sponsoring my Grief Group. They are very good. You can find them on line at griefshare.org
Friggin’ Pete sent us this great little essay that I’d like to share with the rest of you guys.
As a man, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a “Privileged”, racist and responsible for slavery.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget and support myself.
I went to High School, got a degree, got in some college and have always held a job. But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was “advantaged”.
I am heterosexual, which according to “woke” folks, now makes me a homophobe
I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.
I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which makes me a de facto member of the “vast NRA gun lobby”
I am older than 60, making me a useless imbecile who doesn’t understand the writings on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat.
I think and I reason, and I doubt much of what the “main stream” media tells me, which makes me a “Right-wing conspiracy nut”.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort – not freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.
I believe in the defense and protection of America for & by all citizens, now making me a militant.
I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand and salute during our National Anthem so I must be a racist.
I believe in the rule of law and the law and order that the Police provide regardless of the flaws of a few. So I back the rampant Systemic racism that is so prevalent in all areas of our society.
So all together this make me a brutality loving Privileged racist homophobic advantaged fascist Right-wing conspiracy nut NRA gun carrying infidelic Facebook illiterate xenophobic borderline socialpathic anti-socialist Right-wing conspiracy nut militant.
Please help me come to terms with the new me because I’m just not sure who I am anymore!
Well, me too, Pete. I dare say that there are a few others of us that need the same help.
Okay, ran out of time for more. Love and happiness to you all.
Dragon Laffs 
Well in just a few words the world has gone crazy. Though I would pay to watch my pencil D..k ex give birth….guys can do that now I hear. The money could be used to pay for more boarder crossers to go to DC and Delaware…Heard that Joe has covid, I will pray for quick recovery…cant imagine vice and speaker taking over….That Book does say that in the last days women and children will rule you……scarey. So I’ll just keep on doing what I do cause if I keep doing what I do than I can keep doing what I do…..Oh my I could be vice president with that last quote….Hot here! …practice???