Good Monday morning my friends.  I made it through the weekend.  Friday was a rough night.  But, otherwise, it was okay.

I realized something on Saturday.  I decided to go through my closet and clean out the clothes that are too big for me now.  A year ago I was wearing size XXXL shirts and size 48 pants.  Today, I am in XL shirts and 38 pants.  I haven’t been in clothes this small since I was an 18 year-old in Basic Training. 

And as of right now, I have nothing else to talk about, so let’s get right into the fun stuff. 

I am aghast!  Why would the Pope recognize the Nazis?  

Back in time quite a ways…

I know 5 people who are clinically insane…I’m 2 of them.

Kinda my job, but back in WWI.  Would’ve been good fun.

Living in Peru, IN I have to wonder where these two were working.

“Ma’am, have you seen my wife?  She is dressed the same as me.”
“Oh, so she’s dressed like a fucking idiot, also.”

Just because I give you advice, it doesn’t mean I know more than you, it just means I’ve done more stupid shit.

I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers.  Or maybe she said “a tent of lovers.”  I wasn’t really listening…

I drink wine, I read books, and I know things.

I admit, my pervert level is well above the national average, but I’m totally okay with that.

Women’s Magazine:

Page 14:  How to lose weight fast.

Page 15:  You’re beautiful the way you are.

Page 16:  Cake recipe.

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! God, that hurts just to LOOK at!!!!!!

I LOVE IT!!!

Okay, for this next one, I’m not sure of the validity of this.  I haven’t heard all of this, I have heard some of it.  I haven’t been able to verify all of it, but I also have no reason to doubt the truth of it.  I would like to know if any of the rest of you have heard any of this or have knowledge of this. 

More oddities re: TX School Shooter, if your pondering he is a

18 year old transvestite ILLEGAL ALIEN who lived with his grandma. 

Held a Part time job at McDonald’s (he worked 8 hours a week), for minimum wage. 

He dressed up in girl’s clothes — and had a VERY expensive female wardrobe. 

He dropped out of school because he was obsessed with playing video games.

He had a Brand new expensive game console. 

He also owned a brand new F250 pickup “fully loaded.”  

Weapons:  2 Brand new Daniel Defense (brand) AR15/M4 rifles, with Military grade Optics.

Each rifle is priced between 3,000 to 4,000 dollars.  

He had Thousands of rounds of Military grade ammunition.  

Owned and was wearing a thousand dollar bullet proof vest. 

He owned All this from his part time job at McDonald’s…?!

Ford F250 Platinum $71,000.00

Clothes $3000,00

Game Console $500.00

Rifles $6000.00/$8,000.00

Optics $1400.00 each

Ammo $900.00

Body Armor $1000.00

TOTAL –  $83,400.00

On a Minimum Wage job ??!!

Seems to me SOMEONE WAS FUNDING HIM, HELPING HIM and TRAINING HIM…

And oh – he just happens to have known the Buffalo shooter?  Seriously?!

And add to the fact that those rifles were EXACTLY like one of the rifles from the Las Vegas “shooter”. EXACTLY, down to the optics, AND the vertical fore-grip. And that particular configuration is only available and (legally owned) and only available to “Military and Law Enforcement” …

And all this just before the NRA Convention, how timely…

This is DEFINITELY worth thinking about.  And WHY is this the FIRST time I’m reading any of this, IF it’s true?

The Dragon Laffs, Inc. Trojan Horse.  How we take over other websites.

Things found in bodies: 
A woman came in complaining of pain in her uterus.  She eventually admitted that a few months ago she and her boyfriend wanted to have sex but didn’t have any contraceptives so they improvised and used a FINGERLING POTATO.  By the time she came into the clinic it had taken root in her uterus and had actually sprouted a leaf that could be seen at her cervix.

This one is GREAT fun:

Things found in bodies: 
My mom’s friend was a nurse for many years and she said the strangest thing she saw was a girl who came in because her boyfriend had stuffed her vagina with potato salad.

Really?  I expect stupid shit from the guys, but you women are supposed to know better.

You folks are getting worse and worse…

And one more:
Things found in bodies: 
I used to be a 911 operator.  I once took a call for a lady with a goldfish stuck in her vagina.  No idea if it was alive or dead when it went in, but she couldn’t get it out because the scales were facing the wrong way.

What did parents do with dirty diapers before they discovered the Walmart parking lot?

If I can make at least one person smile, pee their pants a little, or maybe spit out a drink, then my day was not wasted!

Why Biden keeps looking at his watch:

Okay, I want you to pay REALLY close attention to this next meme and keep it in mind between now and November…

And yes…maybe I am a little paranoid.  But, is it really paranoia if they really ARE out to get you?

A bad day with a bald head is better than a good day with a man bun.

To measure puns properly use a sighsmograph!

I’m someone’s reason to smile.  And probably someone’s reason to drink heavily.  I’m all over the place.

That’s it for today my friends.  I hope you enjoyed.  Love and happiness to you all.