Dragon Laffs#2046


So, it’s the 4th of  July as I’m writing this.  My poor puppy dogs went nuts last night with the people setting off fireworks last night near the house and the worst is yet to come, except … they’ve added the chance of storms into tonight’s forecast, so this might end up being screwed up.  Pepper Dragon and Willow Dragon don’t like thunder any more than they like fireworks, so I’d just as soon have the fireworks so that everyone can enjoy them. 

And now we hear that some other fucking moron chooses today in Highland Park, Illinois to create an active shooter incident at a 4th of July Parade.  Five people are dead and sixteen people are taken to the hospital.  But, we should take weapons away from the good people…that should help.  Because everyone knows that making it more difficult for the good guys to get weapons will automatically make it more difficult for the bad guys to get weapons, right?  

Okay, I know I’m preaching to the choir.  

And since it’s still the 4th of July, here’s a great video to start with, that brother Wheats sent to me.  Modern Swing music with a military bent.

I enjoyed the music and the video and the group is worth checking out.  Fun music.

And speaking of fun, what do you say we get on to that portion of the show?

I got myself a seniors’ GPS.
Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, it tells me why I wanted to go there.

I like to listen to BeeGees music when I cook Chinese food.  You can tell by the way I use my wok. 

I’m not sure if that’s true.  That we can’t know true happiness if we never experience true sorrow.  But, there is definitely enough sorrow in this world, that I’m also pretty sure that none of us will ever be able to test that theory.

“Happy Birthday big boy!”

My wife and I have started role playing in the bedroom, her favorite is “Sexy Librarian” where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.

Me:  How much for the angry lawn gnome? 

Yard Sale Lady:  That’s my toddler.

If we’re ONLY talking about looks, I’m a 6.  But, if you take my personality, sense of humor, and values into consideration, I’m actually a strong 2.

Here at Dragon Laffs, Inc. some of our Uber rides are more dangerous than yours.

When filling out a job application, I saw they had a section for “Previous Life Experience”, so I wrote down that I was a Pharaoh in 2300 B.C.

So a burglar broke into the house…I put the red dot on his chest and the cat did the rest.

I feel bad for parents nowadays.  You have to be able to explain the birds and the bees… The bees and the bees… The birds and the birds… The birds that used to be bees… The bees that used to be birds… The birds that look like bees… Plus bees that look like birds but still got a stinger!!!

Tonight’s Powerball Jackpot is a full tank of unleaded gas and a sheet of plywood.

My wife wanted to disgrace me in the presence of her friends, she said I wasn’t good in bed.  She was shocked when they all disagreed with her.

Absolute truth!  The old west was one of the most polite and safe places to be, contrary to the all the old movies.  When everyone was armed and knew how to use their weapons, it forced everyone else to be polite because you never knew who you were going to piss off.  Colonel Cooper is 100% correct.  If everyone was trained and armed, the felons would have no victims to take advantage of and crime would take a HUGE decline.

NO KIDDING!!!

Or even to be allowed to WALK with scissors!

Another way to ask that same question is how did so many Government Employees become millionaires?

Probably cheaper, too.

There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and live just a little bit better.

The turtle can breathe through it’s ass.  Humans have not yet reached this stage of evolution, although many have learned to talk through it.

It’s six months since I joined the gym and no progress.

I’m going there in person tomorrow, to find out what’s really going on…

And that does it for another issue.  I did hear that they caught the scumbag that shot up the parade yesterday (July 4th).  Haven’t heard anything else about it, yet.  It ought to be an easy fix for people like that.  Save the state an awful lot of money.  Take him out back, put a bullet in the back of his head.  Piece of cake.  If you’re 100% sure it’s him, then go ahead and do it. 

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for today my dear camper friends.  Be well, be full of love, and be full of happiness.  Until we meet again.

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs#2046

  1. Dan lydon says:

    The parade shooting was a staged event. Think about all that’s been said on the government controlled news about it. It screamed hoax from day one. And I said who did it as soon as I heard about it. Some kid who bought an assault rifle legally the day before and had posted numerous warnings on social media he was gonna do something like this.

  2. Leah D says:

    Because of the dancing couple, I thought you posted this in remembrance of Mary.
    But I firmly believe it bests describes you: There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and live just a little bit better.
    Thank you for always giving me something to look forward to!

    • impishdragon says:

      I did post it in memory of Mary and this describes her as well. She was and still is one of the people who make me laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger and make me want to live a little better.

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