Dragon Laffs #2035


Good Morning Campers,

Well, today is the last issue before my surgery.  By the time you guys read this, depending on when I get it put out, I will have anywhere between 24 and zero hours left.  So, I am going to try and make this a pretty good issue.

There is a lot I’d like to talk about, but not that I can think of right now.  So, instead

If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it’s working.

Do you know that awesome feeling when you get into bed, fall right asleep, stay asleep all night, and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day?

Yeah, me neither!

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, “Hey look!  That one is shaped like an idiot.”

“Shh!  He’s trying to sleep.  You don’t want to wake him.  He’s very cranky when he gets woken up and tends to eat the one who wakes him.”

I am a dog owner.  My hobbies include:
Neglecting my appearance
dreaming of clean floors
constantly asking, “What’s in your mouth?”
and never peeing by myself.

What is happening to us?

Driving home with my kids and my son didn’t like the song I was listening to.  He said, “Thank God we’re ten seconds from home!”  So, then I took the long way home because that’s what parents do.

It’s a little known fact that Anne Boleyn actually had a brother named Tenpin…

I love the look on the Gondolier’s face.

This is how we play cornhole at Dragon Laffs, Inc.

My ex-wife just texted me, “Wish you were here.”

She does it every time she walks through a cemetery.

So many girls fall in love with the wrong guys simply because the wrong guy usually says all the right things.

Shout out to all the married folks out there waiting for their spouses to pass out on the couch so they can watch what they really want to.

Let’s do some mail, shall we?

reijo

5 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2032

Hope the surgery goes well for you.

Thanks Reijo. 

Leah D.

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2033

I envy you getting knee surgery. After two weeks of not being able to walk, my doc says my knee is bone on bone, and there is a trench on the backside. He would be setting me up for surgery, however, they don’t think I’d live through the operation.
There now, does that make you feel better?
But you know me, the one who says there is good in all things . . . I now get to hire a house cleaner!

Actually, mine is hip surgery, which is MUCH EASIER than knee surgery.  I’ve had both, so I know.  Sounds like your situation is significantly worse.  I’m really sorry to hear about what you are going through.  I hope they figure something out for you.  The house cleaner is a nice silver lining though.

Steve Hodges

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2033

Good to have you back, I know you’ll be back on your feet and pain free

Thanks, Steve.  I tell ya, it can’t happen soon enough!  The pain is getting ridiculous. 

Alan F

13 hours ago

Dragon Laffs #2034

How great is the chance they’ll say: “sorry, you smoked. We will have to reschedule” ?

Yeah…I know.  And I’m in an awful lot of pain, which means I can’t and won’t take the chance. Well, Played Alan F, well played. 

Leah D

6 hours ago

Dragon Laffs #2034

Just so you know . . . I do not want to hear of your ND experience.
Well, actually, I would want to hear of it, but I fervently hope you don’t have one!

I’m not sure what you mean by ND experience … North Dakota?  OH WAIT!  Near Death?  Not sure why you would abbreviate that.  But, I have neither a North Dakota nor a Near Death experience to relate, so you’re safe.

And with that we shall continue on with our regular programing…

Women with higher IQ’s have a harder time finding a mate.

Intelligent women would rather remain single than be with the wrong person.

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!!!!!

The most dangerous animal in the world…

Is a smiling woman sitting in silence.

I’d like one of these.

Some people like to stir the pot…

I prefer to smoke it.

This is starting to piss me off.  I have been called eight times in the last hour, by eight different numbers, all a recordings claiming to be from Amazon saying they are trying to confirm an order placed for an iPhone 11 for $999.  I know it’s a scam, but there’s nothing I can do about it since it’s always from a different number.  I know they are all cloned numbers, I just wish to hell that there was something I could do about it.  If any of you know of any applications that actually work to block spam bullshit calls, please let me know.

Lady in the commercial for the life alert necklace said she fell, laid there for 8 hours until her friend came.  My question, why didn’t the cameraman help her up? 

Any website can be a dating site…

…if you use it incorrectly.

And that, my friends is that.  So, it works out that while you are reading this I am having surgery.  Keep me in your prayers.   Love and happiness to you all.  Until next time.

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2035

  1. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    Tell the phone guys that you dont have an Amazon account cause you cant have checking accounts in jail. They will stop.
    I told the medicare people I’m only 26 I think I have plenty of time to pick a plan and they stopped calling. That’s my dream age if I get to go back and do this again.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Supposedly you can forward spam calls to “spam”. This is reported as a network that blocks numbers to all devices once a certain number of times its submitted. Not sure if it’s true, but I read about it on a news tech site.

  3. kris72663 says:

    By the time you see this, you should have had your surgery. I hope that you are resting comfortably & that recovery will be quick & easy. God Bless

  4. Leah D says:

    Biggest laugh today . . . the Wish You Were Here.
    I don’t know why I slipped into thinking you were having knee, not hip surgery.
    Well, it’s a crazy reason, but I think I do know.
    In past issues you had spoken of being lonesome, missing your dear wife Mary, then you talked about having hip surgery.
    That reminded me of my husband’s uncle (they are almost the same age) who kept wanting to find a woman. He had hip surgery and hit it off with the head surgical nurse. I almost wrote that to you, but thought it would be in bad taste, and tried to bury the thought. But I buried the fact that it is hip surgery.
    Speaking of Mary, was that tiny portraiture in the last issue, Mary? I felt like we would have been instant friends if we had ever met. I spent quite a bit of time studying the picture, trying to understand why I was so drawn to her.

  5. reijo says:

    Good luck with your surgery

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