Dragon Laffs #2030


Today is Memorial Day.  A day that we remember the men and women who have given their lives in the service of our country.  Traditionally, that has been the men and women of the military service, but I know the police service also remembers their fallen officers at this time as well.  And as well they should since they also serve and protect our citizenry.  I would like you to take a moment to join with me and bow your head in remembrance of all of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for all of us.

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Thank you Leah for the above picture.  I really like it.

I experienced the WORST customer service today at a store in town. I don’t want to mention the name of the store because I’m not sure how I’m going to proceed. Last night I bought something from this store. I paid cash for it. I took it home and found out it didn’t work. So today, less than 24 hours later I took it back to the store and asked if I could get a refund. The girl in the store told me “NO” even though I still had the receipt. I asked if I could get a replacement instead then. Again this person told me “NO.” I asked to talk to a manager now as I’m really not happy and I explained that I had just bought the item, had got it home and it didn’t work. The manager just smiled and told me to my face that I was “OUT OF LUCK.”       No refund. No FREE replacement. Grrrrrrrrr. . I’ll tell you what…I am NEVER buying another Lottery Ticket from there again

My 5 year plan is to make it through this year.

 

Elon Musk offers to purchase the FBI for $100 billion.

No word yet if the Clinton’s are willing to sell.

Instructor:  Welcome to salsa class!  Who’s ready to learn how to dance?  

Me, hiding a bag of tortilla chips:  There’s been a misunderstanding.

2008 Memorial Day Poster #1. Created by Virginia Reyes of the Air Force News Agency. US Air Force Courtesy photo
2008 Memorial Day Poster #3. Created by Virginia Reyes of the Air Force News Agency. US Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Cecilio M. Ricardo Jr.

Me:  I want a gun belt I can fit around my cat.  

Gun Shop:  That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.  

Me:  But, I could call her Kitty Kitty Bang Bang.  

Gun Shop:  …  

Me:  … 

Gun Shop:  Give me here measurements.

Now, let’s move on to a more fun filled issue.

I always see more people walking into Walmart than out of Walmart.  But the meat is cheap so I don’t ask questions.

Oh good, the mail is almost here.

Wife:  I just saw our daughter lining up her dolls to take turns in being burnt over a fire, do you know why she would do that? 

Me:  [nodding] Barbie queue

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.

One of the ants on my ant farm dresses up as a clown to cheer up his friends. 

He’s an anti-depress ant.

This is just wrong!  Funny as hell, but wrong.

I bought a chicken earlier to make sandwiches. 

What a complete waste of time. 

All it does is run around the kitchen making clucking noises.

I don’t want a sugar daddy, but maybe like a sugar buddy.  I just hit him up like, “Hey, how are you today?” and he replies, “Doing great, thanks for asking.  Here’s $7,000.”

Some real quick mail…

reast744

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2015

First … how big are Alice’s fingers? Second … I feel there could have been a picture of the gas station lady 🙂

Okay, we go all the way back to issue #2015 (April 26th) for this one.  First of all, a little perspective.  I couldn’t figure out what the reference to Alice’s fingers was, but the gas station lady was:

This damn woman in the gas station just ignored the no pet sign and brought that camel toe in anyway…

So, you can see now how the comment makes sense.

Marsha sent us a quick note with a question…

Marsha M

7 hours ago

Dragon Laffs #2029

Where can I find those blueberries???

And here’s a reminder for you about what Marsha is talking about:

And to let you know, Marsha, they are available, year round, in the Dragon Laffs Gift Shop, located conveniently on the second floor. 

I hope you all have had a great Memorial Day weekend.  May your prayers be answered and my your days be filled with love and happiness.

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #2030

  1. Leah D. says:

    It is very cold and wet here, and I am glad for that. It keeps me from wishing health problems wouldn’t keep us from a family camp out.
    And unlike our dead heroes, who stormed beaches, battled in deserts too hot to support life, parachuted into a shooting gallery, flew planes over icy mountains in snow storms, I won’t drive the 150 miles to stand in the rain as taps is played, to place flags and flowers upon graves.

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