Izzy Dragon and I are watching the movie “Ray” with Jamie Fox.  She’s never seen it before.  And she keeps asking, “Why is everyone so mean to him?”  At the beginning of the movie and then, “Why is he cheating on his wife?”  How do you explain to a 20 year-old (who is going on 13) the historic exploitation of

• The handicapped
• The minorities
• The talented

And as we continued to watch the movie, she was aghast at how he did everything to his wife and the other women in his life that was done to him in his growing up.  But, how his nightmares kept coming back to haunt him throughout his life. 

And isn’t that the perfect analogy for life…everything we do comes back to us in the end.  To either haunt us or comfort us.  We can only hope that the things we do are of a comfort to us, but every single one of us has something, somewhere that haunts us, because, being human, we all make mistakes, but … let me give you some comfort in your mistakes… (and I have no damn idea how we got here this morning, but let’s go with it for now)

First of all, we’re all human and we all make them, so don’t feel like you’re out there on your own.  

Second, if you can always say that you are doing the best that you can at the time you are doing it, then no matter what happens, you have nothing to be upset about.

Okay, so I just reread what I had written…and I think maybe I’m talking to myself.  I think that I’m carrying around some guilt.  Like maybe a whole truckload, and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing about it. 

So this has really jumped around this morning…too much introspection, not enough laughter, so let’s change that last part…at least for a little while and see where the wind takes us…at least for now.

My wife and I got stuck in an elevator and when we got home, we told the story to our kids.  They just looked at us and said, “Soooo…. did ya get out?” 

My wife and I looked at each other and made a pact to go ahead and start drinking away their college fund.

Duct Tape is amazing!

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you.”

They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap…and stay for breakfast the next morning.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible!

“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

“No,” she replies…

… “You just happened to catch my eye

This one was sent in by John S.  This is what he had to say: 

Morning Dragon,
A little tune about the Screaming Eagles Fighter Group Enjoy.
Be Well Dragon.

Nicely done Mr. Jennings!

Getting caught stealing an apple when I was but a wee dragonette.

How about a little mail

As did I…and many of you!!!

I Have An Elton John Pun

It’s A Little Bit Funny

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row
And pretty maids all in a row

 

A nice Monty Python reference…

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s warranty.” 

My kids laugh because they think I’m crazy…

I laugh because they don’t know it’s hereditary.

Friggin’ Pete sent me this lovely quote that goes kinda well with my opening this morning and it’s called, “Our Fellow Man”

“Each one of us is a mixture of good qualities and some perhaps not so good qualities. In considering our fellow man, we should remember his good qualities and realize that his faults only prove that he is, after all, a human being. We should refrain from making harsh judgments of a person just because he happens to be a dirty, rotten, no-good son-of-a-bitch.”

Forgetting that our fellow man is a dirty, rotten, no-good son-of-a-bitch is difficult sometimes, especially when said fellow man is running your driver’s license, your city, county, state, or country at the moment.  It is difficult to find their good qualities when their bad are so overwhelmingly apparent and glaring.  But, I suppose, the whole idea is to try…try to be the better fellow man.  Set the example.  Even when it would be so much easier to just shoot the bastard.

A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter.

 Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. “I’d like some raisin bread please,” the man says. The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought. When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves, as he is “having company for dinner.” As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what’s going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread. After many trips she is tired and irritated, and begins to wonder, “Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?”

Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, “Is it raisin for you too then?”

No,” stammers the older man, “but it’s quivering a little.

Tradition (n.) Peer pressure from dead people.

I know the voices aren’t real, but man do the come up with some great ideas.

A little rural town had one of the highest birth rates in the country, and this phenomenon attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got a huge chunk of money; moved to town; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing their questionnaires and such.

While the staff was busy getting ready for their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local drugstore for a cup of coffee.

He sat down at the counter, ordered his coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate was so high.

“Sure,” said the druggist. “Every morning the six o’clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody up, and, well, it’s too late to go back to sleep, and it’s too early to get up.”

Are they still “Bad Habits” if I like them???

Yes, so enjoy them all the more!!!

And it was even better in the 60’s and 70’s

I think way too many people have been drinking from the Fountain of Stupid.

I do believe they’ve been filling the watercoolers in Washington, D.C. from that same Fountain.

In the 1980s, A&W tried to compete with the Mcdonald’s Quarter Pounder by selling a 1/3 pound burger at a lower cost.  The product failed, because most customers thought the 1/4 pound was bigger. 

This is why I don’t argue online.

You know…it would be a hell of a push UP the ramp, but with enough space at the bottom, it might be one hell of a great ride DOWN the ramp! 

LIFE IS LIKE A CAMERA 
Focus on what’s Important
Capture the Good Times
Develop from the Negatives
And if things don’t work out
TAKE ANOTHER SHOT

I can’t think of a better place to wrap up today’s issue than with this 
Word of the day is “Spuddle” (17th century): to work ineffectively; to be extremely busy whilst achieving absolutely nothing.
I feel like that pretty much describes the last couple of days for me. LOL!  I’ve been spuddling about.  I have achieved stuff.  I’ve gotten this issue done, I’m going to try to get the lawn mowed for the first time this season, if it will warm up and dry up just a little bit more today.  But, spuddle, for the most part, I have done … and enjoyed myself.  So…until next we meet, may your days be filled with love and happiness my dear, dear friends.