Dragon Laffs #1986


So, it’s Monday night, and it hasn’t started yet, but by the time you guys are reading this on Thursday, we should be ass deep … possibly, literally, in snow.  Some of the models are calling for up to 36 inches of snow for our little slice of … um … vacant farm land.  It’s supposed to start tomorrow evening with rain, that quickly turns to icy sleet (you know, you gotta get a good slick base down first) that then is going to develop in to a heavy wet snow of up to 18 inches.  That takes us into Wednesday daytime. 

Wednesday evening into Thursday we get round two which is supposed to a dry fluffy 15 to 24 inches with gusty winds to cause drifting.  That’s what they say could happen.  Personally, I think it’s going to be a lot less, because it’s ALWAYS a lot less than what they say. 

But!!!! 

For all of those people who keep bringing up the Blizzard of ’78 or ’93 or whatever the hell it was and they got a whopping 15 inches of snow and it shut the entire state down, I hope we get AT LEAST 16 inches so they will shut the fuck up! 

Although, I really shouldn’t say anything like that and tempt fate the way this friggin’ year is going.  So…never mind.  Forget I said anything.

So instead, let’s do something else.

Whatever you hear about me please believe it.  I no loner have time to explain myself.  You can also feel free to add some if you want.

Dammit!  Every single one of them!!!

If you are a passenger in my car, don’t ever disrespect me by trying to sing lead.  It’s my car.  You are automatically a back up singer.

A little bit of summer on a cold winter’s morning.

How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps, but not enough to full pot holes?

The turtle can breathe through it’s ass.  Humans have not yet reached this stage of evolution, although many have learned to talk through it.

This is the picture she wanted for the High School year book.  It kind of sends a very specific message.

Well, it’s Wednesday morning and it’s snowing.  It went from rain, to sleet (for a few minutes) to a heavy thick snow.  More like it’s slushing outside.  They closed the base so I stayed home from work today.  I am still working.  Brought home my work laptop being pretty sure this was going to happen, so I am working from home.  But, with no one else being at work today either, there isn’t much to do.  But, since this is working weekend coming up, I am getting ready for that.  I’ve got 3 classes that I’m teaching this weekend, plus the dart league is doing a special benefit tournament for Izzy Dragon and I, so hopefully they have the roads and stuff clear by then.  Which means I won’t get much sleep this weekend.  But, that’s okay.  I’ll get by.  I don’t get much sleep lately anyway.

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. 
And stupid. 
We should be scared shitless of stupid.

I am a pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were an asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division!

Sarcasm:  Where the witty will have fun but the stupid won’t get it.

Somewhere between “should know better” and “glad I did it”, that’s where I live.

Two Things To Make Your Day Better:
1.  Do not watch the news.
2.  Stay off the bathroom scales.

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying, “I just find it funny how…”
Because there’s a 99.9% chance she did NOT find it funny at all.

You’re never too old to say something inappropriate.

And we’re finding out today that we’re sending 3,000 troops to eastern Europe.  Too little?  Too late?  What are your thoughts? 

Okay, let’s do a couple of comments from our readers…first, from Stephanie:  I am female and I don’t know any reason to foil my toes.  

And we got more comments on the same meme… This one from Kris:  Some people use gel polish on their toes because it lasts longer than regular polish. To remove the polish, you soak a cotton ball in remover & then wrap that around the toe. Soak for 10-15 minutes & supposedly the polish comes off.  And I imagine you put the foil around the toe to hold the cotton ball in place?  That kind of makes sense, although it didn’t look like there was a cotton ball under that foil.

And then we have this one from Marsha:  Don’t know where you are, shame cause I know a good nurse. Just a thought, call hospital that is to do your surgery, ask for social service department, explain your situation. Maybe they know of a short term program to send you an aide or some sort of short term help.  Well Marsha, I’m in Peru, Indiana.  Not a big place.  But, if you know a nurse…I definitely have a soft spot in my heart for nurses.  I’ve definitely already thought about contacting the hospital and I’ve talked to my support system (friends, crew, loved ones) and as soon as I did, they already started dividing up the days of the week as to who would take what day to drive me to physical therapy and cover this and that and the other thing.  So, I’m not thinking it’s going to be that much of a problem (I’ve got a LOT of people around me who seem to love me.  I’m so blessed.  I really don’t understand it since I’m such an asshole) (LOL)  Anyway, still willing to interview nurses, Marsha.

Daaaammmmnnnnn!  Think the cop was a little peeved?

When I was a kid, they didn’t take me to a psychologist…my mom was able to open my chakra, stabilize my karma, and clean my aura with one single slap!

I Plan My Days Carefully:
Wake up
Plan Stuff
Do Other Stuff
Go To Bed

It took me all this time to lose my mind…

What on earth made you think I would want a piece of yours??

And that’s it my friends.  Guess I’m going to go out and shovel for the first time so it won’t get out of hand.  Wish me luck.  Love and happiness to you all until we meet again.

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1986

  1. Leah D. says:

    Here in the Salt Lake Valley, we happen to live on the West side, next door to The Great Salt Lake. When a storm comes in from the West, we always get more snow or rain than the rest of the valley. They call it “Lake Effect.” I call it a bitch when I have a 9 am appointment!

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