Dragon Laffs #1966


Good Morning Campers, 

Well, I really thought I was going to have time to put together an issue for you guys.  I had the best of intentions.  But, over the last couple of days, life as I know it, has fallen apart.  I have rants, bitches, gripes, complaints, screams, frustrations … you name it, I’ve got them. 

My stress level is MAXED-THE-FUCKED-OUT!  

I STILL don’t have a date for my surgery, but that may all be a moot point.  My little brother is in kidney failure.  Well, his kidney’s HAVE failed.  My LAST little brother.  And he’s NOT a candidate for a donation.  Him and I have the same blood type.  Which means it’s me or nobody.  Okay, so there’s no question there.  I can put off my surgery.  Pain and I are old friends, I’ve been saying that for years, what’s another couple of weeks or whatever. 

But now Mrs. Dragon needs three new tests and two different specialists.  She has, along with her fucked up heart, a significantly raised tumor marker in her last blood test for her also fucked up liver.  Doctor wants her to have a liver scan, carotid scan (strange sounds in her neck) and a chemical stress test.  Wants her to see the liver specialist and a new heart specialist. 

And if all of that isn’t bad enough, we were due a $330 refund from AT&T since August and those lying fucking thieves have not only not paid us, but have come up with lie after lie that we have fought back on and fought back on and fought back on and all after they took two months of payments out of our account AFTER we stopped DIRECT TV.  So, they basically STOLE money from us and have made excuses for NOT returning OUR money back to us.  For four months they have kept OUR money and now, instead of getting it back, we are “supposedly” getting a $120 refund in the form of a VISA gift card that was processed last week and due to shortages in employees might take up to 6 weeks to get here.  We are already not having a Christmas around here because of all the fucking medical bills and all the rest of the shit that’s going on, and now we have thieves stealing from us!  I told them on the phone tonight that I wasn’t rich enough to hire a lawyer to fight back, but that I did own a blog and I would tell everyone who would listen that I have been with AT&T for over 30 years and it used to be that they were one of the greatest companies in the world, but over the last several years, they have been just like all the rest of them.  They don’t care about their customers.  They lie and cheat and steal, just like the rest of them.  There is no such thing as customer service any more and as soon as I can I am going to drop everything that I have that is AT&T and whoever will give me the best deal and treat me right, they will get my business and they I will praise until they treat me badly.  AT&T, I gave you chance after chance after chance and you let me down.  You should be ashamed. 

Well,  I can’t say that I’m any less stressed.  I can’t say that I’m any less angry.  But after sharing with you guys, I at least don’t feel like I’m going to go off and burn down a village somewhere.  Although I can understand why Smog did what he did. 

I will try to keep you guys in the loop with my brother, with my surgery, and with Mrs. Dragon and I just know that your prayers will be sent my way and I deeply appreciate every one of them.  For the time being and for the next hour or so, why don’t we try to do a little laughing before I have to go to bed and start another day of trudging through the world.

  

You might want to move that sign back just a bit

Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader? 

Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.

I LOVE this one … even though I’ve probably used it before:  

How do you milk sheep? 

Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1,000 for it.

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

BOOBYTRAP backwards is PARTYBOOB.  

Just sayin’

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find out they are not it.

LSHMSFOAIDMT = Laughing So Hard My Sombrero Falls Off And I Drop My Taco

My son, who’s into astronomy, asked me how stars die. 

“Usually an overdose, son,” I told him.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.

“I work with animals,” the guy says to his date. 

“That’s so sweet,” she replies.  “I love a man who cares about animals.  Where do you work?” 

“I’m a butcher,” he says.

Do babies named “Karen” even exist or do they suddenly appear at age 40 and want to speak to the manager?

Google Maps

And more Google Maps

I thought I was just in a bad mood, but it’s been a few years so I guess this is who I am now.

Google Maps, I have questions…

God:  You’re a fire ant. 

Fire Ant:  What does that mean?  

God:  When you bite something it burns like fire.  

Fire Ant: [Gasp!] You mean I’m a dragon?  

God:  What? No.  

Fire Ant:  I’m the teensiest dragon!

Okay, so like What The Fuck Google Maps?! 

Okay, so that’s more than an hour, but that’s all I’ve got and for that I’m sorry, but they did cheer me up and I hope you too.  I’m working this weekend and I hope to put something together for Saturday since it will be doubtful for Monday, but like I said, I will keep you guys posted on what’s  going on, even if it’s through the app on my phone. 

Love and happiness to you all.

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1966

  1. Leah D. says:

    Everyone thinks I am terribly old fashioned because I do not have my payments set up under auto pay. I get paper bills, and write out checks to pay them. Why? Because I found out I have far more control over my accounts. Not only because they can’t keep taking money, but I have found I have more bartering power. And because I have AT&T and like you, absolutely hate them any more.

  2. TOMMY RAYE VASSAR SR says:

    Oh mighty dragon i hoe everything that is going on in your life gets better for christmus. If not you have my heartfelt prayers. I love Dragon Laffs and i love you and your family.

  3. Tom Harlander says:

    I had ATT internet for several years and the price kept going up until I decided it would be better to cancel it and give up. Then I got a cold call visit from a rep from Spectrum who talked to me about the same package for about one third the price. I was skeptical, but after more visits and his assurance there were no strings, I agreed to try it. I’ve had it for several years now and have had only one increase in price, and that was $2, which raised my broadband bill to $17.99/mo. I don’t know if you have Spectrum in your area, but it might be worth your time to check it out. Good luck.

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