Dragon Laffs #1919


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Good Morning Campers,5b

Well, another weekend where I am again working to secure your freedom from tyranny, the evil effects of the communist horde, and protecting you from Ralph Nader’s undue influence.   Who is Ralph Nader?  How young are you?  Who let the damn children in here?  Don’t they know this site is for

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Sigh … I try.  I truly do.  You work hard.  Do what you can to keep America safe for dragons and other mythological creatures … like all of you out there and what happens?  You end up with leadership in Washington that threatens to drop nukes on you for participating in the second amendment.  You get the Wicked Witch of the West who believes that everyone should do what she says … except her.  And you get the rest of the world laughing their asses off at us because they’re not stupid, nor are they blind.  Hell, even Al Qaeda is using us as examples as how a government can be taken over from within!

I swear, I’m trying.  Truly I am.  What more can a dragon do?  Maybe if I drank 0more … 

NO!  Not to forget!  Because, when dragons drink, they get mean and they tend to burn shit to the friggin’ ground.  And that could be very helpful right about now.  It could really clear some shit up.

And also, I could really use a drink right about now.

Anyway, enough of my complaining and bitching.  Time to do some laughter.

sign laff

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I don’t have a drinking problem, I just celebrate everything!  Like the fact that shirts have armholes!  I’ll be celebrating that tonight.

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Don’t look that way.  We all know that person.

Getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the titanic; and look what happened there.

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Me:  Should we have macaroni salad or potato salad at the BBQ?

Husband:  Can we talk about this when we’re not having sex?

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Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “No one gives a shit.”

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What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.

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THIS is one of my favorite dragon pictures of all times.

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I tried starting a day without coffee once …

My court date is pending.

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Breathtaking

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This is what the pyramids look like from Cairo street.

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In an age of innocence, there will be those who excel at destruction. ~ Impish Dragon

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Here’s one worth watching:

https://patriotpost.us/videos/81197?mailing_id=5979&utm_medium=email&utm_source=pp.email.5979&utm_campaign=snapshot&utm_content=body

From what I understand, it’s already started in some counties …

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Being labeled a racist today is much like being labeled a witch in the middle ages. No evidence is required. It’s simply a weapon used to defeat people you don’t like. And the mobs of ignorant rioters never question it. As much as things change, things stay the same.

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Dear extroverts, you will survive this.  Dear introverts, quit laughing!  They’re new to this social distancing.

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Okay kids … what do you think it was originally for?

Know

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I saved someone’s life today.

Well…I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of this idiot…so pretty much the same thing.

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This is from Facebook page…

Top 10 list of America’s stupidity – as seen from Canada.

10. Only in America… Could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event.

9. Only in America… Could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they had a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black. 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans, 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics.

8. Only in America… Could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the former head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

7. Only in America… Can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

6. Only in America… Would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens.

5. Only in America… Could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”

4. Only in America… Could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

3. Only in America… Could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

2. Only in America… Could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

1. Only in America… Could the rich people – who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.

“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there would be a shortage of sand.”

~ Milton Friedman

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And that one got off easy!

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Someone in this world has consumed more mayonnaise than anyone else currently alive and they don’t even know it.

Or maybe they do know it…

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Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about.

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should be very ashamed you nasty little pervert.

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Motivate

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Failure

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Fairness

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False Hope

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If a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex, it’s fair to say his addiction got out of hand.

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If a 9 year old takes an anti-aging cream that makes them appear 10 years younger, do they disappear?

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And now … a brand new feature … to replace one we lost…

Interesting Maps

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Size Comparison Between Australia And The United States

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And that’s it for today my friends.  I am teaching class while you are reading this so have a bit of smiles for me.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1919

  1. bill bowker says:

    Surely like these posts!!

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