Dragon Laffs #1920


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Book2

Good Morning Campers,

Yup … reading is fun, reading is something I do a lot of.  But, we’ve talked about this before.  Don’t know why this has come up again, but it has. So, right now I’m up to 149 books since the first of April 2020.  That works out to one book every 3.2 days … still.  Which is pretty much what I was averaging at the end of the year.  So, I haven’t slowed down. 

That means I read a little over two books a week; or almost ten books a month.  I don’t know anyone else who does that.  Any other readers out there?  It’s funny, I’ll occasionally take a break at work and sit out back and smoke a little cigar with my tablet and read.  One of the GIs who work down the hall from me asked me the other day what it was I was watching on my tablet.  I said I wasn’t watching, anything, I was reading.  He said, reading?  What are you reading?  I said, a book.  He said … huh.  Now, that’s a lost art.

Reading books…a lost art. 

I am saddened by this.

So, we really need to laugh now.

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When I was your age, I had to walk 10 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

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Irish Handcuffs (n.) When a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands at the same time.

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Leah D has a big problem …

Got this dude stalking me, I don’t like him N I wish he’d leave me the hell alone, but every time I turn around there he is! He just won’t take No for an answer, I can’t hurt his feelings, but he is really getting on my  nerves. His name is Bill…he just keeps coming around. It started out every month, then every week, now it almost every damn day. Ugh! It’s so annoying, can someone tell him to leave me alone, please? I hate Bill! He’s even got his family bothering me…Light Bill, Gas Bill, Water Bill, Cable Bill, etc…

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I said to myself, “Self.” (and I knew it was me, cause I recognized my voice, and I was wearing my underwear) “Today is going to be a good day!”

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“Last man standing!” – This incredible statue can be found in Grand Rapids, MI and is the work of father son team Andy and Noah Sacksteder.

I can’t help but think this is the inspiration for the statue …

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Or maybe it was even this Veteran ..

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But, this young man makes me just as proud …

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And all you “Hero Athletes” out there who kneel when the flag and the National Anthem play … aren’t you so PROUD.  Go ahead.  Explain to this young MAN how your degrading his flag is so meaningful.  Go ahead.  I dare you.  I double-dog dare you! Or how about one of the two gentleman above.  Tell them how your kneeling is expressing your opinion, you pussies.  You aren’t worth a pimple on their asses!

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Yeah … there’s a teeny bit of anger there, I think.

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Well, I’m now up to the 14th of July on my emails, so I’m catching up a little bit. But then again, it’s good to have a stock of emails to work off of.  I just don’t want you guys disappointed if I don’t answer something right away.

But, right now, I do want to wish a happy birthday to our dear friend Stephanie…

453 I hope you have a wonderful day, dear friend.

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It’s a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore.  I just bought a TV and it said “Built in Antenna”.

I don’t even know where that is!

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Alex (32)  I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

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Dragon Pic

black against white

“Tag!  You’re it!”

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Okay, I guess it’s time to go on a little bit of a rant? essay?  Okay, let me explain.  I was sent part of an essay that looked like it was entitled: “I’m 78 and I’m Tired” with the subheading of True Story, check it out.  Which always makes me suspect, so I got to looking around online and did find the original, which was MUCH longer than the snippet I was sent.  It was written by Robert A. Hall, a Vietnam Marine Veteran AND five term Massachusetts State Senator.  The thing is, this was posted to his personal blog  on Thursday, February 19, 2009.  And he mentions that he is soon turning 63.  And here we are 13 years later and I find myself in the exact same position.  Soon turning 63 and also, quite tired.  So, if I may, and giving all credit where credit is due, here is:

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2009

I’m Tired–some updates

I’ll be 63 soon. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I’ve worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven’t called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there’s no retirement in sight, and I’m tired. Very tired.
I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth around” to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it.
I’m tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to “keep people in their homes.” Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I’m willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the leftwing Congresscritters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them—with their own money.
I’m tired of being told how bad America is by leftwing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the religious freedom and women’s rights of Saudi Arabia, the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Gay people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela. Won’t multiculturalism be beautiful?
I’m tired of being told that Islam is a “Religion of Peace,” when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family “honor;” of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren’t “believers;” of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for “adultery;” of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur’an and Shari’a law tells them to.
I believe “a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.” I’m tired of being told that “race doesn’t matter” in the post-racial world of President Obama, when it’s all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois. I think it’s very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less in an all-knowing government.
I’m tired of a news media that thinks Bush’s fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama’s, at triple the cost, were wonderful. That thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress, that picked over every line of Bush’s military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his, that slammed Palin with two years as governor for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever.
Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn’t vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.
I’m tired of being told that out of “tolerance for other cultures” we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.
I’m tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore’s, and if you’re greener than Gore, you’re green enough.

I’m tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don’t think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I’m tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana. Update: People have written to tell me I’d have more sympathy if this was close to me. It is exactly having seen the destruction of alcoholism and heroin addiction in my own family that makes me pretty intolerant of people who are willing to destroy the people around them to indulge themselves.
I’m tired of illegal aliens being called “undocumented workers,” especially the ones who aren’t working, but are living on welfare or crime. What’s next? Calling drug dealers, “Undocumented Pharmacists”? And, no, I’m not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic and it’s been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I’m willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person who can speak English, doesn’t have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military. Those are the citizens we need. Update: A few people have taken this to indicate some bias against Catholics, based on events 400 years ago. While I think they are either too touchy or fail to understand, I was only trying to say that I have zero problem with Catholics wanting to come to the US, but that I have great concerns about Muslims, as a good % of them do want to kill me, or force their religion and moral code on me.
I’m tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years—and still are? Not even close. So here’s the deal. I’ll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we’ll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear. UPDATE: It has rightly been pointed out to me, several times, that I should have included Canadian, Australian and New Zealand troops here. My apologies for slighting these gallant allies of freedom.
I’m tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers—bums are bi-partisan. And I’m tired of people telling me we need bi-partisanship. I live in Illinois, where the “Illinois Combine” of Democrats and Republicans has worked together harmoniously to loot the public for years. And I notice that the tax cheats in Obama’s cabinet are bi-partisan as well.
I’m tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I’m tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn’t have that in 1970, but we didn’t know we were “poor.” The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.
I’m real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I’m damn tired. But I’m also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I’m not going to get to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter.
Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts state senate. He blogs at
www.tartanmarine.blogspot.com Update: Someone attached a picture of Robert D. Hall, an actor, to some versions and forwarded it on, saying that I was on CSI. We are two different people, and I am not an actor–unless you count running for public office.
And to the folks who said I’m Old and should die and get out of the way, I have IPF, so will comply soon enough.

I find very little to argue with in this essay … and and awful lot that brings a tear to my eye … and probably not for the reasons you would think.  According to what I can find, he is still alive at the age of 75. 

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Breathtaking

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This is what two hours’ worth of lightning on one pic looks like.

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I went to a dog show the other day. A Yorkie took Best in Show, a Jack Russell took second, and a Scotty took third.

I’m starting to think the judges had some sort of All-Terrier motive.

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Sir Knight, I can’t help but think this is not going to end well for you.

Fantasy

Fantasy_(55)

Dragon Laffs Head of Security

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And before anyone jumps to any conclusions … these are from Joe L…

What do you do when you find Niacin and Thiamin at your front door? You vitamin, of course!

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Did you hear about the guy who started chirping after a one night stand? They think he caught a canarial disease.

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I refuse to work with compost, it’s degrading.

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Interesting Maps

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Tracking Of An Eagle Over A 20 Year Period

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Then he ain’t doing it right.

Upon his coronation, a tribal king decided he wanted to upgrade his woven-grass-and-wood home. So, he commissioned the best weavers in the village to build him a two-story home.

Weeks later, the grass-weavers finished, and moved the king’s property in. But the King wasn’t happy. He wanted to build a king-size bed, but the massive stone throne used in the tribe was in the way.

Figuring a second-floor throne room would be more impressive, the King ordered the workers to bring the throne upstairs, and then weave him a nice, big bed on the first floor.

A few more weeks later, the King finally moved in. On the first night, he and the Queen decided to test out the bed. Their testing got vigorous, and they shook the walls of the house, causing the heavy throne to plunge through the grass ceiling onto the bed, killing them both.

The moral of the story? When you live in a grass house, don’t stow thrones.

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Motivational

familiar

family planning

Family

Famous Last Words (2)

famous Last Words

Fantasies

Fantastic Four

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Farl

Farmarama

Farmers Daughter

Farmville

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Know

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Okay…let’s do some of these now … since it’s been one of those issues anyway:

Politics

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I think we can conclude that the “time out” generation didn’t produce as good of citizens as the “ass beating” generation.

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This is what the Czech Republic has to say about our recent election:

“The danger to America is not Joe Biden, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the presidency.  It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of a Biden presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.  The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Biden, who is a mere symptom of what ails America.  Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.  The Republic can survive a Biden, who is, after all, merely a fool.  It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president.”

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I am a criminal.

I don’t buy guns at stores.

I don’t care about your stupid gun laws.

Background checks won’t stop me.

Keep focusing on the good people.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.

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Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

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And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you had as much fun as I did putting it together.  May your week begin with as much fun as this has been.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1920

  1. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for the birthday wishes my dear friend. I made it to 65!!!!!!!!!
    I could draw social security, if I wasn’t already, but just a couple years younger than myself are asked to wait till 70 to draw. With the average life span being 78 and you paying taxes since age 18, that gives the thieves, sorry, congressional slugs 52 years of your taxes to squander for votes.

  2. Alan F says:

    I too am an avid reader, but it seems not as much as you. Been noting my books since september 1 2010 and am up to 367. Since april 2020 I’ve only managed 47 (18880 pages). Better than tv.

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