Dragon Laffs #1887


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Good Morning Campers,

There are so many things to talk about this morning.  Sorry I missed Thursday, but I did warn you of that distinct possibility.  It’s been a tough week in the Dragon household and it’s going to get tougher before it gets easier.  Let me tell you about what’s going on in the immediate future.  First of all, we got Mrs. Dragon’s first test results back and there was something there.  They’re not sure what’s there, but something is there, so she went back in this morning for more tests.  This morning being Friday, so guess what?  Yup, more waiting on more test results.

I’m teaching this weekend, but only on Saturday, so I’ll have at least Sunday off to spend with my girls before I get to leave for a week for lovely Washington D.C. where I will spend a week at Andrews AFB helping them with an exercise.  Now, this is both good news/bad news kind of thing.  This is NOT a good time for me to go right now what with waiting for test results and what-not, but at the same time, even though I was born and raised in New Jersey, which is actually fairly close to Washington D.C., I’ve never been there.  But with all the absolute bullshit that’s going in there right now, I can’t say for sure that I won’t get there and throw rotten tomatoes at the White House, Capital Building, etc.  But, it is someplace that I’ve always wanted to see, so that will be cool.

I am going to take my laptop and try to put out an issue or two while I’m there, but … well, you know how that goes.  I try to do the best for you guys that I can, but life is really getting tough for me right now.  You guys are really, really high up on my priority list, but sadly, you aren’t quite at the top, no matter how much I love you.

There are a hundred other things that I want to rant about today, but I still have to take my Izzy Dragon to Physical Therapy this afternoon, get ready for my class tomorrow and still try to put this issue out for you for tomorrow.

I know, I know… I’m a great guy.  But, before you laud all those great comments on me …. let’s laugh instead, shall we.

Laugh

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Special thanks to Dan T for sending this one:

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I think they got a pretty good rendition of me, don’t you?

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

A synonym roll

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Breaking News!  Man gets hit by rental car.  Said it Hertz.

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Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick?  It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.  She explained, “The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.”

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That’s wrong, on so many levels.  Do they not have someone who reads these things before they put them out?

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Once upon a time there was a kind a loving dragon who wrote an ezine for all his friends …

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An editor or a proof reader somewhere?

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I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?

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That’s a really good question …

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Yes, I know they are bad … not my fault.  I can only give you guys what I get.

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Lance is a very uncommon name nowadays.

But in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.

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fantasy

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“So I sez to da guy, I sez look, if I was to give youse da blue gem and youse was to give me da green gem, den we’d bof haf a gem.  Am I right?”

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During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento”

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

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Okay, so you’re riding a horse full speed, there’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you.  What do you do?

Get your drunk ass off the carousel and go home!

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“We were having coffee and talking, about politics . . .  which I know nothing about. 

But it’s never stopped me from having an opinion.”

Mark Lowry

Me neither.  ~ Impish Dragon

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My favorite kind.

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motivational

Chaotic Good

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Charisma

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Cheating

cheerleader tryouts

Cheerleaders

Cheerleading

cheeseburgers

Chemistry

Chewbacca

Chicks with guns

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Well, maybe if they moved the damn sign …

I was having a great Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

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And this person probably votes … democrat would be my guess.

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Okay, ran out of time … again.  But at least you guys know I’m alive and well.  I’ll try to put together a real issue for Monday on my day off on Sunday.  Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers.

Impish Dragon

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1887

  1. Leah D says:

    Getting an issue of Dragon Laffs, is my Just Desserts. I go through my two email boxes, and news pages, leave the issue to the very end, a time of relaxation and great enjoyment. Much like shuffling through a bad meal, just to enjoy a wonderful dessert! Thank You!

  2. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for the time you give to us. Praying for the dragon family. Glad you had some time off.
    Much love.

  3. Jeanne says:

    Very funny! Thanks!

  4. Carolyn Fertig says:

    Sorry, all the children’s thighs are sold out. Biden bought them all!!

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