Good Morning Campers,

Welcome to Monday and a new week.  A week where I’m not sure how many or if I’ll be able to send any issues out because of my trip to Washington D.C.  I will be taking my laptop with me, and will make every effort to keep in touch with you guys, but since I’ve never been to this particular base before … we shall see.

I’m trying really hard to not jump up on my soapbox and scream about all the bullshit that’s going on with our beloved police officers.  These guys are doing things way above and beyond the call and yet they are being vilified at every turn.  And 99% of them are just doing their jobs!  Are they just supposed to watch while one teenager stabs another?  Or let a kid with a guy shoot them at 3 in the morning?  I’ve got one question.  Where the fuck were the parents letting a 13 year old kid out at 3 in the morning with a gun!  Or in the case of the knife, the father was right there!  Why the fuck didn’t he step in and stop it?  No, it’s the cop’s fault. 

Oh, and it’s perfectly fine for Maxine Waters to incite people to riot and not even mince words about it, but they impeached President Trump with far less and he told everyone to remain peaceful.  Does anyone else see a difference here?

I’m tired of the bullshit that’s going on in my country.

But now I want to talk to you about something much more important!  Some folks that are doing something really important in the world and supporting our troops.  Something that I’d like to see us, as a Dragon Laffs community, support  in some small way.  Let me show you guys.

 

Combat Cookies, from their own words, is a veteran owned and operated non-profit organization that bakes and ships fresh from the oven cookies to U.S. military members who are deployed overseas.  Being away from the comforts of home can be emotionally challenging.  Sending cookies is one way to bring the feeling of home to a deployed military member.  Here is there website: https://www.combatcookies.org/  and it is an AWESOME website!  Now, let’s talk about what their short mission statement doesn’t say.  This is a family business by an Air Force Family that have been deployed themselves many times.  They understand what it means to be away from home, away from family, and what a little chunk of home loving means when it shows up in the mail. 

I met Brandi, the lady who runs this organization, and she handed me her card, and I’ve since gone on line and checked out their whole website.  There are some fantastic pictures of GIs getting cookies and some awesome stuff.  They have some really great cookie names like: The Cody Cookie, Mad Dog Mint Chip, and … well, I’ll let you find the rest of them on the web site, but each one is very special, has it’s own page and story behind it.  But, I have to warn you, have tissues handy, because some of the stories are quite touching.  There are even treats for the K-9s!  And the picture of the dog watching the oven is priceless!  And if you want to see it you have to go to the website, no spoilers here!

Now, my campers, I’m counting on you to go out there and not only check out their website, but do me a personal favor and drop a buck or two on them in the name of dragon laffs.  I’m going to do that myself right now.  And ….. done!  Really easy to do.  I did it through PayPal, but they’ve got it set up with many different venues, so you can help in many different ways.  It’s a great charity, so why not drop a buck or two.  You great campers have helped me out, so now let’s help out some real heroes.

Now …. on to the laughter!

“The Irish have a drinking problem!”

FALSE!

Drinking is only a problem if you’re not good at it.

I can make Irish jokes because I married into an Irish family … besides, Lethal Leprechaun is smiling down at me from Heaven.

Okay, I like bacon as much as, if not more so than the next dragon, but that still sounds DISGUSTING!!!!

God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world.

So far, so good.

“If I only wanted one drink, I’d go to communion.” ~ My Dad

Funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible …

But 8 beers and 7 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn’t it a pity?
Doesn’t seem to be a shadow in the city
All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

Once I’ve had my coffee, I can use my big words.

Before coffee, I mostly use the ones with four letters.

Hyphenated

Non-hyphenated.

The irony.

Home Sweet Home

Cable Repairman was on the street and asked me what time it was.

I told him between 8 am and 1 pm.

This one from a woman called Sweet Momissa: I told my son he needed to clean his room and he said, “maybe later, I have a headache.”  I told hem that was no excuse and heard my husband snort laugh from three rooms away.

To the lady who flipped me off when I honked at you:  Your phone probably isn’t on top of your car anymore…

I hate it when I am having a perfectly normal conversation and my brain latches onto something said and makes it dirty and I have to stand there and not giggle.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.

In 1872, Russia sold Alaska to the Unites States for about 2 cents per acre.

BLM is trying to say if someone breaks into your house and you shoot them, you value your stuff over their life.

I say, “If you break into my house, YOU value my stuff over YOUR life.”

Any questions?

Have you ever been so offended at something that you thought: “Man, I need to steal a flat screen TV right now?”

No, me neither.

Nancy Pelosi’s latest demands are that she wants her sister’s ruby slippers returned and vacation pay for the flying monkeys.

Okay, and that’s it for today my friends.  Keep watching this space for updates from the East…don’t forget to check out Combat Cookies.  Click on their logo or right here:https://www.combatcookies.org/

 And in the meantime, keep smiling, keep loving, and keep coming back for more.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon