Good Morning Campers,

Welcome to yet another edition of the Universe’s Greatest Ezine!  No?  Okay … Welcome to the Galaxy’s Greatest E … not even that, huh?  Solar System’s Greatest … ?  World’s Great … Oh come on!

Ahem ….

Welcome to Peru, Indiana’s Greatest Ezine!  Oh, never friggin’ mind!  These new truth in advertising laws are for the damn birds!  Why do I even pay you lawyers, if you aren’t there to get me out of these frivolous lawsuits when they come up?  I miss the good old days when you could say whatever the hell you wanted to say and no one gave a damn one way or the other … it was called freedom of speech and it was one of our rights.  Now, if it’s not Political Correct, it’s against the damn law.

Okay, you gotta get me off the soap box so we can laugh or it’s going to be a LONG issue.  I’m gonna bitch about something anyway, that’s a given, but let’s not start that way, shall we?

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly?  I feel that way about far too many people.

The older you get, the more you appreciate cancelled plans, early nights, thunderstorms, and alcohol that is on sale.

Lynn sent me this next one with the subject line of Best Christmas present ever …

Exclusive Details

Somebody left Speaker Nancy Pelosi a very disturbing message to kick off the new year … and it seems to be related to the ongoing financial struggles of millions of Americans.

Pelosi’s San Francisco home was vandalized overnight … most of the damage was done to her garage door and driveway. The perp or perps spray-painted “Cancel Rent!” and “We Want Everything” in big black letters on her door … and there’s also a nod to the failed $2,000 government stimulus checks.

By the way, that’s also a pig’s head lying in front of the garage door.  And to add insult to injury, a few days later, the same thing happened to Mitch McConnell’s Louisville home …

One of my biggest questions is kinda of an obvious one … don’t these high powered assholes have security people or at LEAST cameras?  Or are they so full of themselves that they think this couldn’t possibly happen to them?

I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 45, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

Don’t ever get between a dragon and its meal

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Amazon just got approved for drone delivery.  We now have skeet shooting with prizes.

Mrs. Dragon in high school.  She was a bit of a terror.

A woman visits her husband in prison.  Before leaving, she tells a correction officer, “You shouldn’t make my husband work like that.  He’s exhausted!”  The officer laughs and says, “Are you kidding?  He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!”  The wife replies, “ He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!”

To applaud a politician because he has built a hospital, a school, road, etc. with public money is the same as applauding an ATM because it gives you your money.

I love to make lists.  I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what’s on the list while at the store.

Imagine being so fucking dumb that you think the guy in office for four years is the problem, and the guy in office for forty-seven years is the solution.

Guess what happens after you’re offended?

Nothing!  That’s it!  Now be an adult and move on.

Watching Washington D.C. implode tonight.  Not really sure what’s going to end up happening.  I’m getting lots of back channel information on things that you may or may not be privy too, such as the people who actually broke into the Capitol Building were actually ANTIFA and BLM people dressed up as Trump Supporters and that other things that may or may not come out over the next day or so.  So, this may be appropriate … or it may not.  But, one thing is for sure, the American people are pissed off.

Fucking Well Count on it!!

You call it “Road Rage”

I call it “Aggressively maneuvering around assholes that don’t know how to fucking drive”

 

Bozo criminal for today comes from Brunswick, GA. Bozo Bob Hall snatched a woman’s purse in a shopping center parking lot. The woman was able to give a good description to the police and so the police were quickly able to pick up Bob as a suspect. The police explained to the Bozo that they were going to take him back to the shopping center so that they could get a positive ID out of the victim. When they arrived at the scene, the Bozo did exactly as he was told. He stepped from the car, looked at the victim and said, “yeah, that’s her. That’s the woman I robbed.”

Hey babe, pass that this way…

And with that … I’m gonna call it a night.  More excitement to follow.  It certainly is exciting watching the TV … I guess we’ll catch up on Saturday … I hope.