Dragon Laffs #1844


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Good Morning Campers and welcome to 2021! 

Let me start off by saying thanks to every one who sent messages of  Happy New Year and thanks and stuff on the website through comments and email and messages and stuff … they were really appreciated.  So thank-you… 

And 2021 isn’t starting off so well.  We woke up to an ice storm this morning … but it’s slowly turning to rain this morning.  It’s right at the freezing point, so it’s falling as rain … kinda and freezing on the ground … kinda.  It’s a mess, but it won’t last much longer and no one has anywhere to go this morning (around here anyway) so we can just sit here and visit with you guys.

It wasn’t nice everywhere though.  Portland, OR rang in the New Year with a friggin’ riot with fire bombs and tear gas.  For crying-out-loud!  What in the hell were they even rioting over?  No one even knows!  If I had to guess … the people413 probably wanted to gather for New Years … the police said they had to disperse because … you know, COVID.  The people said no.  The police said yes.  Someone had some fireworks for, New Years, like you do.  Fired one at the Police.  Stir well.  And “POOF!”  Instant riot!  But, that’s just a guess from one little blue dragon.  And I wasn’t there … but … I am a keen observer of human nature.  So, who knows. 

Anyway, What do you say we get this party started and some laughs in the new year?

Let's Laugh 2

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When America fired upon Guam during the Spanish-American War, Guam sent out an officer who requested ammunition so Guam could return the gesture.  It turned out Guam was unaware a ware was going on, thought America was merely saluting Guam, and wished to respond in kind.

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In 1862, opposing Civil War armies were camped on opposite sides of Virginia’s Rappahannock River.  With no orders to attack and getting increasingly bored, the Southerners sent a toy boat across, loaded with tobacco.  The Northerners sent it back, filled with coffee.  One side held a sports competition, and the other watched and cheered them on.

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Women Are Like Bacon
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We Look good, smell good, taste good, and will slowly kill you.

 

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Stephanie sent me this really … interesting (?) article:

What Is The Brosno Dragon And Has It Really Been Lurking In A Russian Lake Since The 13th Century?

We do like to hide, and it sounds like this guy is really good at it.  See for yourself.

According to legends, the extended family of the Loch Ness monster lives all over the world and includes a dinosaur-like creature in Russia’s Lake Brosno, affectionately known as Brosny, Brosnya, or the Brosno Dragon. As one of Russia’s most famous urban legends, Brosny is also one of the most fearsome Russian cryptids. With its long tail, fish-like head, and giant mouth, the creature swallows men, boats, and islands whole according to stories. Although legends about Brosny date back to the 13th century, modern people still claim to see the creature leisurely swimming through the lake on occasion.

And here is the rest of the article … worth your time, it’s a good read: https://www.ranker.com/list/brosno-dragon-russian-cryptid/erin-mccann

Thanks Stephanie

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I don’t like the term “Anal Bleaching”.  I prefer to call it “Changing my Ringtone”.

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New Year’s Eve parties can get a little testy when there are dragons involved.  Next time I tell you it’s your turn to buy the next round, it’s your turn to buy the next fucking round!

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Damn!  … and I just turned sixty-two.

Late in World War II, the Germans built fake airfields to exaggerate their military prowess.  The Allies flew over these wooden fields operated by wooden decoys and bombed them … with dummy wooden bombs.

I was going to throw the bullshit flag on this one as an Urban Legend for purely tactical reasons … but … after a little research, there does seem to be at least the possibility of some truth to it, so I included it with these two pictures:
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So … I leave it to you, gentle reader, to make up your own mind.  It is a cool story, either way.

 

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The Dutch were down to just one warship in the East Indies in 1942.  To get407 safely to Australia, past seas full of Japanese, they covered the ship were trees and pretended to be an island.  They moved only at night, and they fooled every plane that spotted them.

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Called an Uber last night because I was drinking, now I gotta figure out where I left my ride.

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Today I plan on being as useless as the G in Lasagna.

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In the 19th century, to break a stone from their bladder, men had to pass a nail through their penis and then use a hammer to break it into pieces small enough to pass through their urethra.  The lithotomy to eliminate the stones was performed without anesthesia until 1846.
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Having given birth to more than a dozen stones over my lifetime, all I can say is … Oh my dear lord … Thanks John for sending this one in.

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Another brother forced into slavery!

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Motivational6

Anarchists

Children

College Tuition

Nut Shots

Spring break

There are plenty of fish

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Uniqueness

Wisdom

Wishes

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Wizards

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Ten years from now you’ll put on a jacket and find a mask in the pocket.  “Oh man, what a weird year that was,” you’ll chuckle to yourself.  Then you’ll pick up your machete and continue across the wasteland, keeping to the shadows to avoid the roving gangs of cannibal raiders.

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There’s a difference between GEEK and NERD!

GEEK:  May the Force be with you.

NERD:  May the Force be equal to the mass multiplied by acceleration.

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You know that urge to eat something just because it’s there?
               That’s the reason I’m not a Gynecologist.

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Me!  ME!  Pick ME!

Steve H. sent us this message … and I missed it till today.

To all my friends:  I need to be more active and spend less time on the computer, so December 31st will be my last day on Facebook and online for the year.  I will return at the start of the New Year on January 1st.  Thank you for understanding, I’ll miss you all dearly.

Oh man, that’s tough Steve, and we’ll all miss you too, but we understand.  Don’t we everybody?

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I laughed so hard at this one.  And this next one, too.

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And to round off today’s issue, here’s three more … and to start, I gotta get one of these:

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And that, my friends, is it for today, the first issue of the new year.  I know, I set the bar kinda low to start with, but that just makes it easier to go over next time.  I hope you all got a laugh, now I’m going to go and catch up on some of the sleep I didn’t get last night.

Cheers my friends!

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1844

  1. Leah D. says:

    I could not reciprocate all the hearty Happy New Year messages. I certainly could not continue the fallacy by inflicting others with the twisted antics of a liberal’s brain.
    IF Trump had been reelected, I could look upon the coming year with positivity.
    I got my stimulus check, just in time . . . to help pay my granddaughter’s rent and feed her three children. Guess that is something to celebrate?
    Oh, and I got a new issue of DragonLaffs . . . now there is something to really celebrate!

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