Dragon Laffs #1832


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Good Morning Campers,

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I do believe that if you look closely, you will be able to detect a certain theme to this morning’s opening.  Yes, indeed, it’s been a rough week.  Exercise on Tuesday that followed along with another scheduled for this weekend while I have classes scheduled, so I’m supposed to be in two places at the same time and it’s December so it’s “Christmas Party” month out on0aaaa the base for all the reservists.  You ever try to get stuff done while other people are only interested in having a party?  It can be problematic. 

Coffee has kept me alive this week.  Between meetings and exercises and classes and appointments, I don’t know 0aa1aif I’m coming or going.  December is supposed to be a slow month around here and with this stupid COVID nonsense I really expected it to be unusually slow … well, it sure isn’t starting out that way!

So, what do you say we all grab another cup of our favorite morning beverage …
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Okay, so that may not be appropriate on a work day, but still, let’s all grab a drink and get started on today’s issue, shall we?

Let's Laugh 5

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Apparently, putting Alka Seltzer in my mouth, walking into Speedway and shouting, “The virus has mutated!” is not funny.

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Okay, so as you now know, this is coming out on Saturday now, not on Thursday … you can see how much progress I’ve made to get it done … which is why it was pushed to Saturday.  LOL!  Thanks to the kind words from those of you who said not to worry about it, … which makes me wonder how much I’m really missed.  There should be tears and wailing and crying and gnashing of teeth, but okay.  I get it.  So, I’ll push on with the rest of the issue and feel sorry for myself that more of you aren’t feeling sorry that you missed an issue.

Sniff!

Sniff!

Yeah…

I know …

I’m full of shit.

So —- on with the laughter?

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Bozo criminals for today learned the hard way that if you’re gonna get caught by the border patrol in Juarez, Mexico, you need to have a better excuse than this. Bozo brother and sister Nancy Lee and Terry Lee Alexander were stopped by the guards as they tried to pass over the border between El Paso, Texas and Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. During a routine inspection border guards discovered 550,000 rounds of ammunition in their trunk. Our bozos then complained that they had no idea how they had ended up in Mexico. They said they were traveling from their home in Arkansas to Montana and must have made a wrong turn somewhere. (Didn’t Bugs Bunny always talk about taking a wrong turn in Albuquerque?) The cops detained them and their ammunition.

And from our fellow camper Tom in Oregon, here’s a picture of his buddy …

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“Go ahead, piss me off, see what happens!”

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I think as you grow older your Christmas list get shorter, because the things you want can’t be bought.

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Please keep my family in your thoughts.  We found out that my uncle is addicted to Viagra.  My aunt has been taking it hard.

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Discipline at Dragon Laffs Industries takes … unusual turns at times.

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And for those of you who have been following along with us and Tom J. who has been telling us about drugs and Oregon … here is a little essay-ish string of stuff from him:

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And what the hell is growing old in Oregon like?

 

Well, I guess ya hadda ask. I can only get something similar to what it might look like.

 

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AND THEN A FEW YEARS GO BY;

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The real truth that I know, is there are no old drug addicts. To them, old is like the 33 year old woman you see above.

They sell their child support money and food stamps to buy drugs that are now legal but it’s against the law to have a beer

At the neighborhood tavern.

 

Perspective

So, there is a huge difference between blowing a joint and a meth or cocaine or some other addiction.  All the states approving the sales of pot has not gone unnoticed from my high mountains.  And I can’t say that I disapprove and perhaps that is because of my own personal medicinal benefits with my arthritis.  Some of you may agree, some of you may disagree.  It’s immaterial to me right now because I work for the government, but once I retire … it will be a different story.  It’s not legal where I live, but I’ll bet it will be some day.  I was a teenager in the 70s … and the bullshit of it being a “gateway” drug is no more true than it is for alcohol.  You may choose to agree or disagree.  These are my opinions…and perhaps, I’ll expand on them someday when I’m not still employed by the government.

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Wanna make a car dealer uncomfortable, just say, “Tell me if you can hear this.” Then get in the trunk and start screaming.

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Vandalism

Vantage Point

Variety

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Vehicle Design Rules

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Vengeance is mine

Venture

Vertical Parking

Viagra

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I accidently drank invisible ink …

I am now in the hospital waiting to be seen.

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Amen Linus!

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My wife made me coffee this morning and winked at me when she handed me the cup.  I’ve never been more scared in my life!

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Holy crap!  That is one expensive turkey!

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I’m not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.

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And the surprising part is … he walks away.

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Have we tried throwing a politician into a volcano to appease the virus yet?

Just sayin’ …

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And that’s it for today…busy, busy weekend coming.  3 classes, two exercises and craziness abounds.  May your weekend be calm and happy.

Cheers my friends.

Impish

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1832

  1. Leah D says:

    So glad you are out there, working your butt off, so you can give free college educations to the cry babies!
    And as to missing your editions . . . . I pour through tons of newspaper articles every day. I open my mailbox, go through everything else before I get to my Dragon Laffs. You know, like you have to eat al your dinner before you get desert? So basically, a day without Dragon Laffs is diet day!

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