Good Morning Campers,

Not sure when this one is going to publish, but we’re going to have fun just the same.  Just remember our main mantra … no, not the one about battling the world’s bullshit with laughter, the other one.  I built this new graphic while I’ve been sitting here watching TV and thought it turned out pretty good …

So, I thought this was a good place to unveil it and share it with you guys.  I hope you like it. 

Anyway, let’s move on to the laughter part and I’ll add my two-cents in as I see fit … you know, like I normally do…LOL!

 

That’s been a real problem for me, so maybe I should buy this shirt, too.

Imagine this … We’re both strangers in a grocery store but we will somehow make eye contact in the produce section.  My hands are full of limes and I’m unable to hold all of them.  Limes are falling all over the ground.  Rolling left, right, and just all over.  You rush over in an effort to help and I look deeply in your eyes and say, “Sorry, I’m bad at pickup limes.”

I remember most of them…that’s the sad part.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

“I have good and bad news,” the doctor said to his patient. “Give me the good news first,” the patient said. “Your test results are back,” the doctor said, “and you have only two days to live.” “That’s the good news?” the patient exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

“Knock Knock!” “Who’s there?” “It’s Dave!” “Dave who?” Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother’s Alzheimer’s has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words ‘antidote’ and ‘anecdote,’ one of my good friends would still be alive.

Let’s do some of these now, shall we …

Leah D.

Ted Nugent wrote the take a knee article.

For an absolutely GREAT presentation, watch this video
Old Glory (LIVE) By Vann Morris. http://www.evangelomorris.com
https://youtu.be/FC7rQIdOyVY

My husband was so upset that only a handful of neighbors flew flags on the 4th, then the news shows rioters burning the flag, he built a flag pole, said our flag will be up until it rots and we have to replace it.

Wow, what an awesome video, Leah!  Thank you for sharing.  And I am 100% with your husband and his flag!

Stephanie

Lynn, That was an awesome piece. Is there a way you can pass on a link so that I can share? I agree that many things need to change, but the changes should move forward to represent all and bring honor to the flag. In my possession is the flag of a hero. I don’t want to dishonor it.

I found this dear friend, with Leah’s hint … It came from Ted Nugent’s post after his visit with the troops and it’s dated September 24, 2017 … here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/tednugent/posts/10155098638657297

I hope that helps.

Have you heard the joke about the woman with 12 nipples?

Sounds funny, dozen tit?

Sure, I’ll go on a run with you.

But, only if it’s to the liquor store.

And only if we drive there.

And even more so if announced by Morgan Freeman.

During my check-up I asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”

He replied, “I doubt it somehow.  Mercury is in Uranus right now.”

I said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”

H replied, “Neither do I.  My thermometer just broke.”

City folks worried about disbanding Police.
Country folks have good Police, good friends, good aim and backhoes. Just say’n

And let’s put this one to bed folks.  Darts is tonight, so no ezine tomorrow, I’m sure.  Class all week and working this weekend, I’ll try my best to put out what I can this week … love you all and health and happiness to you all.

Cheers~Impish Dragon