Dragon Laffs #1772


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Good Morning Campers,2a1a

Good Monday Morning.  Back to work after a nice long holiday weekend.  I’m enjoying being off work too much.  LOL. 

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NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER

TEST YOUR WIFE’S

MEMORY.

EVER.

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I’VE DECIDED TO SELL MY NUDES:

$5 TO GET ONE

$25 TO NOT GET ONE

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Yup, from Aussie Peter

Now that I’ve live through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches.

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Lynn sent this to me and I thank you Lynn from the bottom of my heart for it is the very best anti-kneeling I’ve ever read.  It did not have an author, if you wrote it Lynn, God bless you.  If not, then if who ever did write it, may the Good Lord bring blessings down upon your house.  Here it is, just the way I got it:

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Take a knee…

Take a little trip to Valley Forge in January. Hold a musket ball in your Fingers and imagine it piercing your flesh and breaking a bone or two.
There won’t be a doctor or trainer to assist you until after the battle, so Just wait your turn. Take your cleats and socks off to get a real Experience.

Then, take a knee on the beach in Normandy where man after American man Stormed the beach, even as the one in front of him was shot to pieces, the Very sea stained with American blood. The only blockers most had were the dead bodies in front of them, riddled with bullets from enemy fire.

Take a knee in the sweat soaked jungles of Vietnam. From Khe Sanh to Saigon, anywhere will do. Americans died in all those jungles. There was no Playbook that told them what was next, but they knew what flag they Represented. When they came home, they were protested as well, and spit on for reasons only cowards know.

Take another knee in the blood drenched sands of Fallujah in 110 degree Heat. Wear your Kevlar helmet and battle dress. Your number won’t be printed on it unless your number is up! You’ll need to stay hydrated but There won’t be anyone to squirt Gatorade into your mouth. You’re on your Own.

There are a lot of places to take a knee where Americans have given their Lives all over the world. When you use the banner under which they fought As a source for your displeasure, you dishonor the memories of those who bled for the very freedoms you have. That’s what the red stripes mean. It represents the blood of those who spilled a sea of it defending your Liberty.

While you’re on your knee, pray for those that came before you, not on a manicured lawn striped and printed with numbers to announce every inch of ground taken, but on nameless hills and bloodied beaches and sweltering forests and bitter cold mountains, every inch marked by an American life Lost serving that flag you protest.

No cheerleaders, no announcers, no coaches, no fans, just American men and women, delivering the real fight against those who chose to harm us, blazing a path so you would have the right to “take a knee.” You haven’t any inkling of what it took to get you where you are, but your “protest” is duly noted. Not only is it disgraceful to a nation of real heroes, it serves the purpose of pointing to your ingratitude for those who chose to defend you under that banner that will still wave long after your jersey is retired.

If you really feel the need to take a knee, come with me to church on Sunday and we’ll both kneel before Almighty God. We’ll thank Him for preserving this country for as long as He has. We’ll beg forgiveness for our ingratitude for all He has provided us. We’ll appeal to Him for understanding and wisdom. We’ll pray for liberty and justice for all, because He is the one who provides those things. But there will be no Protest. There will only be gratitude for His provision and a plea for His continued grace and mercy on the land of the free and the home of the Brave.

It goes like this, GOD BLESS AMERICA……..

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I’m not ashamed to say that it brought a tear to my eye.  Thank you again Lynn for sharing this with me.

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“He who drinks a fifth on the fourth, may not be able to go forth on the fifth.”

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The Ant and The Grasshopper

This one is a little different …

Two different versions … Two different Morals

Old Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dance and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

Moral of the old story: Be responsible for yourself!

Modern Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dance and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while hi is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.  America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can it be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green’.

Occupy the Anthill stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film them singing, ‘We Shall Overcome’.

The Reverend Al Sharpton has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper while he damns the ants.  He later appears on MSNBC to complain that rich people do not care.

Former President Obama condemns the ant and blames Donald Trump, President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer exclaim in an interview on The View that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

Moral of the Modern Version:  Be Careful How You Vote In 2020

I’ve printed this here because I believe that you are an ant and not a grasshopper!  Feel free to pass this on to other ants.  Don’t bother passing it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it anyway.

And thanks to Papa Dragon Most Senior for sharing it with me.

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Trenton, Nebraska where bozo Brian Ledford escaped from the county jail. Bozo was worried that he might call too much attention to himself as he walked down the highway in his bright orange prison jumpsuit. So, he stripped down to his lime green boxer shorts. Plan for remaining inconspicuous didn’t work. Two power company workers who drove by called the cops to report some guy walking down the highway in his underwear.

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Yup, Aussie Peter again.

Did You Know:  (…) Dog noses are wet (Yes, they are) (ahem) Dog noses are wet to help them absorb scent chemicals – they then lick their noses to better understand the smell!  (That’s … kinda cool and kinda gross at the same time)

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First picture of the real killer hornet:

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four of a kind

Friends

Owens

owned

Pageants

panties

Paradox

paradox

Paranoia

Paranoia2

Parenting

Parenting2

parking

parking2

Partnership

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Damn I can’t believe Epstein’s mistress died of suicide next week

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Today I tested positive for Sickofthisshit-20.  I may or may not be contagious.

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OMG, no kidding.  I qualified marksman when I was 18.  LOL!  What a dumbass thing to say.  People have no clue and don’t live in the real world.

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I don’t know.  Come on.  What are the odds the other side could be worse?

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Yeah, mine was too.  And that’s it for today.  I hope you had fun.  I know I did.  Write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com because you know I’d love to hear from you.

Cheers! ~ Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1772

  1. Stephanie says:

    Lynn, Thai was an awesome piece. Is there a way you can pass on a link so that I can share? I agree that many things need to change, but the changes should move forward to represent all and bring honor to the flag. In my possession is the flag of a hero. I don’t want to dishonor it.

  2. Leah D. says:

    Ted Nugent wrote the take a knee article.

    For an absolutely GREAT presentation, watch this video
    Old Glory (LIVE) By Vann Morris. http://www.evangelomorris.com

    My husband was so upset that only a handful of neighbors flew flags on the 4th, then the news shows rioters burning the flag, he built a flag pole, said our flag will be up until it rots and we have to replace it.

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