Good Morning My Favorite Campers!
So, let’s get the feelings out there right at the beginning. This next one is dedicated to Valarie:
So, right now, it’s Wednesday evening and I have a few more days before this issue goes out, so maybe I’ll want to say more about it by then…if not, then the sign says it all.
And This one is for Izzy Dragon:
If my kid can’t bring peanut butter to school, then yours can’t bring the deathly plague. Vaccinate or I’m bringing the Jiffy!
Obviously, Izzy Dragon is very Pro-Vaccinations.
McDonalds called out order 867 and I yelled back 5309 and nobody laughed. Then I felt old and ate my burger in the playground area.
Principal: Your son is being bullied
Me: He needs a sword
Principal: What? No! That would…
Me: *Pulls out a sword*
Principal: Whoa! Hold on! I don’t want any problems.
Me: *To son* See what I mean?
John Lennon: He wear no shoeshine, he got…toe-jam football, he got…monkey finger, he shoot…Coca-Cola.
Police Sketch Artist: What?
Okay, that was just bloody awful.
I asked my personal trainer to be honest with me.
Me: What will it take for me to develop an athletic body?
Blaming 100+ year-old statues of men who died 150+ years ago for our problems today…only highlights the ignorance among us.
If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN….
They become VERY ANGRY.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle. ~ Earl Blumenauer
Running into a friend at the store…
Friend: “So, I’ve been doing this Keto Diet and I’m training to run a half-marathon. I feel great.
Me: “I just got $35 worth of Easter candy on sale for like $8. I feel pretty great, too.”
Physical strength is measured by what we can carry.
Inner strength is measured by what we can bear.
1. Can you cry underwater?
2. Do fish ever get thirsty?
3. Why don’t birds fall off trees when they sleep?
4. Why is it called a building, when it’s already built?
5. When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
6. If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
7. Why does round pizza come in square boxes?
8. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of it’s bottle?
Okay, so let’s throw some of these in next…
And we can throw in a couple more of these…
And that my dear friends is that. Sadly, it was a busy week for me and I’ve run out of time and this needs to be posted so I can go to bed.