Dragon Laffs #1629


Header1629

Good Morning Campers,

Now…

it’s not completely official…

and I don’t want to jinx it…

but it looks like…

that the possibility exists…

just maybe…

I may have gotten the promotion I’ve been waiting for!  I got a tentative offer on Tuesday and filled out all the paperwork, but it’s not final until it’s final.  But that should be soon.

But keep praying for me!

Mrs. Dragon has surgery scheduled for just after Thanksgiving, so if they’re willing to wait that long then it makes me feel like it probably will be just the minor procedure they’re saying it is.

But keep praying for Mrs. Dragon, too!

You know, I love you guys.  I’m not sure I could survive without you.  I hope you know that.

And now…let’s get a few laughs in here before I run out of time.

4828

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.

He was a widower and she a widow.

They had known one another for a number of years.

Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.

These two were at the same table, across from one another.

As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?”

He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.

With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.

As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”

He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.”

Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”

4829

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, c0unt to ten, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you wouldn’t look good in prison stripes, and walk away!

4830

Is it rude to toss a Xanax in someone’s mouth while they’re talking?

4831

5

 

I have found that a very effective way to end an argument is to ask the other person for a piece of their hair.

 

4832

My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive…

Apparently, “Don’t worry babe, your tits cover it,” wasn’t the answer she was looking for!

4833

Pro Tip: If your palm itches, you’re going to get something.  If your crotch itches… you’ve already got it.

4834

Saw a post that said:

Tell the important people in your life how much you care…

So, I called all my friends to tell them I loved them…

People sure are grouchy at 3:00 in the morning!

4835

Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard.

The driver says, “That is great. My wife and I do that every night.”

The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes it the old-fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to do this, I would like to try it.”

The driver says, “Give your wife two drinks and she will be all set.”

The next morning they’re cruising along and the driver asks, “How was it?”

The passenger answers, “It was great, but it took my wife ten drinks.”

The driver looks at him funny and says, “Ten drinks?”

The passenger says, “Yes. After two she was more than willing to make love that way, but it took her eight more to get her out on the front lawn!”

4836

Baseball is better than sex because:
Nobody comments on the size of your bat, as long as you know what to do with it.

You can count on it at least four times a week.

You have a coach to tell you when to advance.

You can go a couple months without scoring and your balls won’t hurt.

If you strike out once, you always have two more chances for a hit.

Up to four people can score at once.

Pop ups are frequent.

30,000 people cheer when you score.

After seven innings, you get to stretch.

You can get a home run without any foreplay.

4837

A woman went to the doctor asking for bigger breasts.
The doctor gave her the choice of either having an implant or wearing a special bra that inflates when you flap your arms up and down.
The woman chose the bra.
The next day she went to a bar to try out her new bra. She saw an attractive man sitting alone at the bar.
Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with the man, who had started flapping his legs.
“I see we have the same doctor,” he said.

4838

If by “Crunches” you mean the sound bacon makes when you eat it, then yes, I do crunches.

4839

I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job.  He asked me which three were interested.  I said, “the gas, electric, and cable.”

4840

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a Cat have died.  All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.

The German Shepherd says, “I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.”

“Good,” says God, “then sit down on my right side.  Doberman, what do you believe in?”

The Doberman answers, “I believe in the love, care and protection of my master.”

“Aha,” said God, “you may sit to my left.”

Then he looks at the Cat and asks, “And what do you believe in?”

The Cat then answers, “I believe you are sitting in my seat.”

4841

4842

4843

4844

4845

4846

4847

4848

4849

4850

4851

4852

4853

4854

That’s it for today folks.

Be well until next time.

Cheers!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1629

  1. paul says:

    awesome news on the job — best to the misses

  2. KrisM says:

    Congratulations! Best of luck in the new position. I hope Mrs. Dragon will be okay.

  3. lethalleprechaun says:

    Does this mean you can afford to pay your bar tab finally?

    Seriously though pal, way to go, good on ya, about bloody time you were recognized for all your hard work, so on and so forth. Have a Cuban (cigar not girl) on me!

  4. Maggie says:

    YAY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! best of luck in it,,,, hope things go well for Mrs Dragon she still in our prayers

  5. Joe says:

    yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! CONGRATS!!
    and as always….great issue!!

  6. Dale says:

    Wonderful news!!! Sending prayers for your wife too.

  7. Ginny. says:

    They say good things can and will happen to good people. Well we know you more then deserve this promotion…..no jinx but get the champagne ready! I’ve put calls into GOD-1000 daily for
    Mrs. Dragon so looks like they have heard my requests and the surgery will restore her to good health. So things are looking up in Dragonland…..WOO HOO!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s