Today is Sunday. A full 6 days before my next issue is due out. Now, I’ll try to throw some cartoons at you on Wednesday, but I guess time will tell. I wanted to start this issue as soon as I could and possibly give you a better issue than you’ve gotten in the past.
My favorite part of cooking dinner is when the delivery guy shows up.
There’s nothing scarier than the split second where you lose your balance in the shower and think, “Oh God! They’re going to find me naked!”
I sent that “Ancestry” site some information on my Family Tree.
They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.
Now that is one faithful hound!
You gotta love it when the democratic party works together.
Well, today is Friday, and I got a chance to put out a Wednesday issue and worked a little on this issue, not as much as I would’ve liked, but you understand.
More importantly, several of the special envoys that I sent out looking for Lethal Leprechaun or an update on how his secret mission is going have reported back. Now, I haven’t met with him personally, but I have it from a very reliable source that he had some trouble on his mission. I gather that he had to question an overgrown bugbear (for those of you who don’t know, or who think that bugbears are mythical creatures used to scare children into being good, like the boogeyman, a bugbear is actually a massive humanoid distantly related to goblins and hobgoblins, but much larger and meaner.) Anyway, Lethal had to question this overly large bugbear named Benny, who had some sort of knowledge that Lethal needed, and one thing led to another, Benny panicked and tried to solve his problem the way he solves most problems, by eating it.
That’s right, Benny tried, and mostly succeeded in eating Lethal. As a size comparison, the picture to the left was taken by one of my envoys before the meeting. Lethal doesn’t look that good right now.
Lethal is currently in the hospital recovering. He will probably be out of contact for another month or so and sadly, he has no computer or way of contacting anyone, but he is very thankful for all the many kind words and well wishes of everyone who has commented or sent me or him an email. He has had a really rough couple of months, but is doing better and will hopefully be back with us soon.
So, that’s the update that all of you have been asking about. As I learn more, I’ll pass it on.
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea…
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass
bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
‘Miss Beatrice’, he said, ‘I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl.
‘Oh, yes,’ she replied, ‘Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter.
Growing old is hard work…The mind says “yes” but, the body says, “What the hell are you thinking?”
That’s it. Cheers My Friends.