Leprechaun Laughs # 412 for September 20th 2017


image

Still not in a great mood or feeling very talkative. The way things are going for me it might be quite sometime before I get back of my old talkative self.

I will however make this one observation to you:

While all these end of the Hurricane Season major Hurricanes have not sold me on that global warming bunk even if it is spouted by Richard Branson, along with the nuclear antics of North Korea’s Kim Jong-un certainly have me boning up on my Book of Revelations with regard to the end of days.

Varrom

image

image

 

image

image

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, “Me feet are freezing, mate. Could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?”

“No bother,” he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy’s two stunning 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on their beds. “Hello dere, girls. Your Da’ sent me up here to shag ya both.”

“Fook off you liar!.”

“I’ll prove it” Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, “Both of them, Paddy?”

“Of course! What’s the use of fookin’ one?”

image

20095411_34_330_188

Lethal had had a hard day at the office and was taking the Commuter train. He was in his seat and closed his eyes hoping to catch a quick nap. As the train rolled out of the station, a woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone.

She started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue.

I’m on the train”. “Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”. “No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”.

“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.

“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When Lethal sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, “Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer.

image

Home Free Releases Uplifting ‘God Blessed Texas’ Cover To Benefit Hurricane Victims

image

Home Free burst onto the country music scene in 2013 following their epic win on the NBC singing competition The Sing Off. The Minnesota-based a cappella group gained a large and faithful following with their jaw-dropping country and crossover music covers. 

The talented quintet is reaching out to their mass following with a cover of Little Texas‘ “God Blessed Texas” in an effort to show their support and to help raise funds for those affected by Hurricane Harvey in Texas and Hurricane Irma in the Southeast U.S. 

The cause is especially dear to the vocal band because their bass singer, Tim Foust, is a native of Texas and knows many that were personally affected by the catastrophic storm.

“As a Texan, I was heartbroken to see the effects of Hurricane Harvey,” said Tim Foust.  “And as a native of Nederland, it’s devastating knowing that 500,000 people have been affected in my community alone.”

As a way to celebrate the resilience of Texans and bring joy to those who are starting the process of cleanup and rebuilding, Home Free wanted to record a special version of “God Blessed Texas” with all proceeds from sales and streaming going to benefit the relief efforts. 

In addition, the group has also started a YouCaring campaign to raise money and awareness for those affected.  The goal is to raise $100,000 by September 29. The money raised through this YouCaring campaign will go to the Nederland Church of Christ Disaster Relief Fund and the Southeast Texas Food Bank. The money will go to help Southeast Texas get back on their feet by providing food, water, shelter, school supplies, beds, cleaning supplies, tools, and more.  

To contribute to Home Free’s YouCaring campaign, click here

Download or stream “God Blessed Texas” at the links below. You can see the full video here.  Sorry but Youtube is understandably blocking my linking to it directly. 

Download this song on iTunes.
Download this song on Amazon.
Download this song on Google Play.
Stream this song on Spotify.
Stream this song on Apple Music.

 

20094624_23_385_255

Sign seen on a college fraternity house:

VIRGINITY REDUCTION CLINIC TONIGHT
Bothered by the burden of excessive virginity?
Meet with our trained counselors for one-on-one help, or participate in a group session.
Anesthetics provided free of charge! All you’ll feel is a prick!
And we all know how small they are!!!!

image

image

image

Irish Cop

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education than any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop’s expense!

Irish cop says, “License and registration, please.”

London Lawyer says, “What for?”

Irish cop says, “Ye did nae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”

London Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

Irish cop says,”Ye still did nae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please.”

London Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Irish cop says, “The difference is, ye have come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”

London Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”

Irish cop says, “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living crap out of the lawyer and says,

“Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?”

image

 

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with the letters ‘tor’ that eat things. The first little boy says, “Alligator.” “Very good, that’s a big word.” The second boy says, “Predator.” “Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.”

Little Johnny says, “Vibrator.” After regaining her composure and nearly falling off her chair, she says,

“That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat anything.” “Well my Aunt Maryanne has one and she says it eats fucking batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

image

That folks is a graphite trolling rod after being hit by lighting from my understanding of it.

image

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin… ‘

– Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


Last week,

I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement…

– Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and to have the two as close together as possible

– George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

– Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

– Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy;

If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

– Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

– Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.

Every now and then she stops to breathe.

– Jimmy Durante


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

– Zsa Zsa Gabor


Only Irish coffee provides, in a single glass, all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

– Alex Levine


My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

– Rodney Dangerfield


Money can’t buy you happiness … But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

– Spike Milligan


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.

– Joe Namath


I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.

– Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it…

– W. C. Fields


We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

– Will Rogers


Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

– Winston Churchill


Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

– Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

– Billy Crystal

image

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 412 for September 20th 2017

  1. Ginny. says:

    Sorry to hear you are still feeling bad and not your jovial self. Hey someone’s birthday is Sunday,
    cheer up, Happy Birthday Lethal!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s