Dragon Laffs–1522


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Good Morning Campers,1a
Today, January 14th, is “Dress Up Your Pet Day”.  But since dressing up your pet is such a sad thing to do to the poor pets, I’m not going to celebrate it here.  Just look at this poor little super-hero, does he look happy at all to you?

Or how about this little hotdog.  First of all, that has such incredibly 1bbad connotations, but that little guy looks ANYTHING but happy.

What makes people think that pets actually LIKE to be dressed in silly looking clothes?

So, no.  We won’t be celebrating “Dress Up Your Pet Day”. 

The other thing about Saturday the 14th is that it’s the day after Friday the 13th.  Now, Lethal did a really good job of explaining all the ins and outs of Friday the 13th, so allow me to explain the horrors that await on Saturday the 14th with this little video.

So, grab a coffee, sit yourself down and…c26e3224510912f80a75f456761b96b5

 

let's laugh

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A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo !
 
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
 
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.
 
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The ‘violator’ for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
 
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an asshole !” 
 
Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
 
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
 
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client ?”
 
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”
 
Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make ?”
 
“Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”
 
“What does the “AH” stand for, officer ?” 
 
“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.” 
 
“Aggressive and hostile ?” 
 
“Yes, Sir.
 
“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole ?”
 
Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.
 
How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client ?
Well, you gotta admit, it’s tough to bamboozle a lawyer, but if anyone can do it, it’s a cop.  Gotta love those guys in blue!
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Well, it’s a food group for Lethal and I.  Does anyone out there also rely on Caffeine to make it through the day?Untitled-01

This next one comes from my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior.  He didn’t write it, but he passed it on to me.  It’s entitled “The Electoral College is Working Exactly as Our Forefathers Intended.

Hillary won California 5,860,714 to Trump’s 3,151,821.  61.6% to 33.1% exclusive of the other candidates. 

But deduct her California vote from her national vote leaving her with 54,978,783, and deduct Trump’s California vote from his national total, leaving him with 57,113.976, he wins in a landslide in the other 49 states, 51.3% to her 48.7%.

So, in effect, Hillary was elected president of California and Trump was elected president of the rest of the country by a substantial margin.

This exemplifies the wisdom of the Electoral College, to prevent the vote of any one populace
state from overriding the vote of the others.  Trump’s Campaign Manager,
Kellyanne Conway, whose expertise is polling, saw this early on and devised
her strategy of “6 pathways to the White House”. 

This meant ignoring California with its huge Democrat majority and going after the states
that would give him the necessary electoral votes to win, FL, NC, MI, PA, OH, and WI. 

When the afternoon of January 20, 2017 arrives, the Republican Party will have:

1)  The Presidency.
2)  A majority of the House of Representatives.
3)  A majority of the Senate.
4)  Almost two-thirds of all the governorships.
5)  Total control of the statehouses in almost two-thirds of all the states.
And in the near future, Republicans will be able to add:
6)  A majority of the Supreme Court

The above has never happened before in American history.
Think about that and let it sink in for a moment.
And it’s all because of one reason:  Barack Obama’s forcing his extreme far-left agenda on an unwilling country by executive orders, left wing judges, and obsequious bureaucrats.

It’s important to pass this on.  With the demand that we do away with the Electoral College and take the popular vote being pushed by the media, etc, all Americans need to know that the Electoral College is working exactly as our Founding Fathers intended.

That’s the very best explanation for the Electoral College that I’ve ever heard.

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dragon pix9“Sir Harry Knuckles, I don’t wish to disturb your counting of the treasure, M’Lord, but I believe thou shouldest glance over thy right shoulder.”

2441Thinking…definitely something the democratic population doesn’t have to worry about.

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The theme song of the Lethal Leprechaun.

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green-bay-packers-nfl-roundel-area-rugWe here at DL&LL pride ourselves on letting everyone have a say.  And in that vein, we have a “confession” from our own K2.

My name is Karl and I am a foodaholic. I have been eating food for as long as I can remember. When I was a working stiff, I would eat a little food before I went to work. You know, just a little food to brace myself for the day. I would hide my food in a brown sack when I went to work. At noon, I would go off somewhere and eat from it. Sometimes I noticed some other food addicts doing the same thing. When I got home, I openly ate food in front of my little loving wife. My depravity knew no bounds and I even made my two daughters eat food. I am sad to say that they too have become habitual  food eaters.

Because I have had a lifelong familiarity with food, I can say unequivocally that tofu is not food. Tofu is the anti-Christ of food. Tofu is the black hole of flavor in food. You can put tofu on one table and it will suck the flavor out of the food on a separate table even if that other table is across the room. Upon close investigation, you will see that tofu is cut from slabs of lard-like substance made from decomposed lawn slugs and bleached out grass clippings. Studying the MRI’s of people who say that they like tofu show that they have large voids or gaps in their brains. The “this tastes like crap” receptors in their brains cannot fire off. Tofu tastes like a soft hockey puck without the rubber flavor. My guide dog will eat his own feces but will not touch tofu.

So, speaking of dog feces, this brings up rap music. Rap is the tofu of music. Rap will suck the melody out of any song it is played with. Rap causes brain damage. Listening to rap for 24 hours will turn you into a mental cripple. That is because rap destroys the brain cells responsible for judgment, rendering the person incapable of telling the difference between what is good and what is Tofu.

K2

 

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It’s been said, that if your birthday is in late September or Early October there’s a very good chance that your parents had a really good New Year’s Eve Party.

fantasyf2010080101Opening presents at Christmas at the Leprechaun household.

2446Of course it’s the wrong answer, Paul.  You were a fireman, you should know that the correct answer is “steps to the kitchen for marshmallows and hotdogs.”

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great footballwriter.
When asked to define ‘great,’ he exclaimed, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. 

2448Okay, so Mexican food last night wasn’t the best idea!

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Movie

The internet is filled with days and days and days of great videos.  Sometimes it’s amazing we find anything at all that we’re looking for.  This first one is so cool, I just had to show it to you.

How about the “Big Dog Blues”?

Cowboys in white hats still ride to the rescue

And not to be outdone, how about a repo-man with a heart of gold…

Okay, last video for today.  This one was sent to me by our own Ginny and it’s well worth watching.  Grab the tissues first, though.

I just discovered my age group! I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)
 
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later.
 
I don’t have to go to school or work
 
I get an allowance every month.
 
I have my own pad.
 
I don’t have a curfew.
 
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
 
I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store. ( I like the beer & wine best)
 
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren’t scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long. Why be scared?
 
And I don’t have acne.
 
Life is Good! Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.
 
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.
 
People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.
 
Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.
 
SO THERE!!

 

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I get picked on…a lot!  It goes with the territory of having a Leprechaun as a side-kick.Packers1  Although, I’m sure he’ll say that I’m the side-kick.  And I guess there’s truth to Packers2that.  Anyway, bandying words around is not what I had in mind. 

As many of you may know, I’m a Green Bay Packers fan.Packers  And, believe it or not, I’m being picked on because of it.  It all started with this cartoon that was put on Facebook by some of my “friends”.

2aYeah, that’s the kind of crap I have to put up with…so, knowing the people involved and who they cheer for every week, my comment on FB was: Tell me again how many of YOUR favorites are in the play-offs? And of course, the answer is none.  That shut up that bunch, but then I got this picture.
2b
And at first I thought it was making fun of Aaron, but I realized that it was Aaron making fun of cowboys!  So yeah.  I got that going for me.

motivational
Angry Birds
canadiansMercaMeth
mexican hat dance

2cAnd I’m trying really hard to get through it in one piece and still finish this issue…..

2450a
Yup, I went there.  lol

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Last Word
I’m sure if you didn’t watch the Golden Globes on TV that you saw at least part of Meryl Streep’s diatribe.  It really pissed me off that she thinks anyone gives a crap about her “opinions” about anything other than a role or a movie she was in.

I had planned on putting my own words to how I felt about her speech when I got this from our own dear Ginny.  This exactly expresses my own opinion perfectly.

Found this on Facebook….I thought it was well said…..about Golden Globes speech by Meryl Streep….
 
Copied from someone else and re-posted:
Dear Hollywood celebrities,
You exist for my entertainment. Some of you are great eye candy. Some of you can deliver a 3line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes. Some of you can scare the crap out of me. Others make me laugh. But you all have one thing in common, you only have a place in my world to entertain me. That’s it. You make your living pretending to be someone else.
Playing dress up like a 6 year old. You live in a make believe world in front of a camera. And often when you are away from one too. Your entire existence depends on my patronage. I’ll crank the organ grinder; you dance.
I don’t really care where you stand on issues. Honestly, your stance matters far less to me than that of my neighbor. You see, you aren’t real. I turn off my TV or shut down my computer and you cease to exist in my world. Once I am done with you, I can put you back in your little box until I want you to entertain me again.
I don’t care that you don’t like Mr.Trump. But I bet you looked cute saying it. Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something blue and shiny. Make me laugh, or cry. Scare me.
But realize that the only words of yours that matter are scripted. I might agree with some of you from time to time, but it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist solely for my entertainment.
So, shut your pie hole and dance.

 

Cheers Impish

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7 Responses to Dragon Laffs–1522

  1. Mike says:

    Again, I am dismayed by the amount of celebs who disagree with National Politics.
    Those who have never done anything political in their hometowns, yet think their celebrity could
    ever make me change my national vote.
    Here’s what Trump needs to suggest. Take all the pseudo- pundit celebs and send them to
    Rhode Island. Providence, specifically where they could all live with themselves. What could be better! Since they won’t go to Canada or another country, as they have professed, if their
    candidate was not elected, send them to Providence and build a wall that would keep them
    contained. Cheaper than the Mexican wall, and twice as effective.

  2. joe says:

    since there are no stars today
    i give it 5 stars here!

  3. lethalleprechaun says:

    HEY! FROST BITE FACE!

    Did you REALLY think because I took to my Liberal Zombie Apocalypse bunker for Friday the 13th and you apparently tricked me eariler into resetting the time lock for another day that I had completely fallen off the face of the earth and you could talk that level of football smack w/o worry of a response from me?

    You DO realize that Packers (4th) play the Cowboys (1st) tomorrow? Should I mention that the Cowboys in the last 20 years have 4 NFL Championships to the Packers 2?

    Then there’s the N.E. Patriots (1st) (my team) and the Houston Texans (4th) (hometown team) playing today, one of them has more than a fair chance to wind up playing the Packer IF the Packer can even make it to the Super Bowl?

    Need I mention that the Pats have 4 NFL Championships in the last 20 years to Greenbay’s 2?

    Yeah I thought not.

  4. Don Graves says:

    I don’t always agree with celebrities when they shoot their mouths off, but our first amendment does give them that right. Telling them to shut up when they do is, in my opinion, wrong. I do wish that they would pick a more appropriate forum in which to do it, though.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Well said Don.

      What you say- on all accounts is exactly true.Thanks for taking the time to point it out to us. Even we upon occasion get so riled up that we lose sight of the larger picture and need to be reminded what we stand for and what exact that means. For me this means having to take a deep breath and walk away every time I see people in the US protesting America or desecrating a flag.

      Getting back to Hollyweird, the main problem (aside from its over population of rabid Democrats) is not what they say, its the venue in which they use to say it. IMHO they need to not lose sight of the fact that they are in the entertainment business, not the political activism business. There is room for both in a life and a time and a place for each but they need to recognize that crossover is a bad thing. The people with that is that they already recognize that these occasions are the only time they have a captive audience to listen to their misguided exercising of their First Amendment rights.

      Thanks for commenting and setting us straight! Keep it up. We rely on you folks to keep us grounded and pointed in the right direction as much as you rely on us for your bi-weekly doses of humor and Centrist point of view.

  5. Ginny says:

    Nice job my friend! This time nexr week we get our Donald J. Trump

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