Leprechaun Laughs # 368 for Wednesday Nov 30th 2016



Morning Folks,

I’ll make this brief an unplanned 24 stomach bug delayed or return from Thanksgiving with Molly’s family by a day. Now a day may not seem like a whole lot but we knew we’d already be on a tight schedule once we returned and that extra day was about all the lee way time we had in our schedule for the next two weeks.

See on the 16th of December Molly will be graduating Magna Cum Laude from U of H with a Masters in Supply Chain Management. For her that means Finals, finishing papers, attending various pre graduation awards functions on top of her regular 45 to 50 hour/ week job.

Additionally she’s decided to redecorate our living room before this for when her family  arrives, right down to new furniture. If you’ve never seen a strung out from lack of sleep woman on a redecorating spree my advice is keep avoiding it.

On my side things are starting to pick up business wise and January 2nd until April15th are my busiest part of the year. Seems that while I was away there was a whole new round of ransomeware scams leading to a bunch of my clients having employees who can no longer access their computers from checking personal email and updating their facebook on company computers on company time.

On the bright side most of them know how I operate, which is if you have a past due balance (depending on how past due) I either have selective blindness/deafness when it comes to your emails, texts and phone calls or you’re at the bottom of the queue. This means that checks for past due amounts are coming in two, three and four per day- a good thing since I expect Molly will be wanting more money from me soon for our living room which truth be told does need new furniture and lamps.

At any rate all this barely leave me time to eek out next week’s special issue much less be witty with my openings or thought provoking with an editorial or commentary. It’s 2:30 on Tuesday as I write this and I have a car arriving any moment to take me to my 3 PM appointment so I can be back in time to have a nice sit down at the table Anniversary meal with Molly. A meal since neither of us have time to cook today I’ll be picking up from a favorite local restaurant on my way back.



How Coffee Affects Your Body Throughout the Day

I know I am not alone in loving coffee. According to a poll conducted in 2015, 82% of Americans drink coffee daily. And the average person consumes 2.1 cups per day. Furthermore, the amount of coffee that a person drink tends to increase with age. This means that older westerners are drinking more coffee than ever before. Why coffee has become so popular so quickly is surely down to two reasons. Firstly, we just love the taste and aroma that only the finest coffee provides. Secondly, there are certain observable effects that coffee has on our body and mind that we like.

But what are these bodily effects, exactly? Are they, on balance, harmful or beneficial for your health? Let’s break this down by taking a look at what happens to your body after you finish drinking a cup of coffee.

0 minutes: Coffee time

coffee, health, body

Mmm. That was lovely! Now let’s see what happens next.

10 minutes after drinking

coffee, health, body

The coffee’s caffeine has started to enter your bloodstream. The raises your heart rate and consequently your blood pressure.

20 minutes after drinking

coffee, health, body

Now you feel more alert. Your brain ‘fog’ has vanished and you can think more clearly than previously. You are better able to solve problems. Furthermore, the caffeine is making you less tired by preventing your brain’s adenosine receptors from receiving adenosine. The coffee is therefore artificially removing your feelings of sleepiness.

30 minutes after drinking

coffee, health, body

After 30 minutes your body begins to produce more adrenaline than normal. By dilating your pupils, one effect is that your vision becomes sharper.

40 minutes after drinking

coffee, health, body

At this point, you start to feel a bit of a mood lift, thanks to an increase of serotonin in your body. This also increases your muscle strength for a time, because serotonin improves your motor neurons’ functionality.

4 hours after drinking

coffee, health, body

Your body cells are releasing energy faster than normal. This stimulates your stomach acids, increasing the rate of digestion. Your body is also breaking down fat now, whether you are exercising or not!

6 hours after drinking

coffee, health, body

Now the bad news. 6 hours after the pick-me-up cup of coffee, the caffeine you have consumed starts to have a diuretic effect. You are going to the bathroom more than you would otherwise, but you are not simply expelling water. Your body is also purging vital vitamins and minerals. In rare cases this leads to disorders of calcium metabolism.


coffee, health, body The negative effects of caffeine are that it removes essential nutrients from your system. It’s for this reason that some people try to minimize their caffeine intake by either shunning coffee (or related drinks) or switching to de-caffeinated coffee. However, one cup of coffee won’t see you lose so many nutrients. But if you drink coffee several times a day, the loss can be very detrimental to your health.

What about coffee’s health benefits?

coffee, health, body

However, the story is not all doom and gloom. To make an informed decision about how much coffee you drink, you’ll also want to consider the health benefits that can be acquired from a nice warm mug of coffee. Because coffee provides you with more antioxidants than any fruits or vegetables, it’s known to be good at preventing and lessening the symptoms of certain diseases, such as:
•    skin cancer
•    colorectal cancer
•    heart disease
•    multiple sclerosis
•    Parkinson’s
•    type 2 diabetes

Coffee can improve the health of your liver, if you drink alcohol, it is also known to provide health benefits to your brain, thus making you more intelligent. It can even make you feel less stressed out, and increase your happiness by boosting your mood.
For more information on the health benefits of coffee, see here.
Your decision!
So, now you are in a much better position to decide whether you want to have another coffee today, or leave it for another occasion. In my case, I am going to stick to my usual routine of having one beautiful cup of coffee a day, three or four times a week. What about you?



  It’s coming up on Christmas time and that means cookies recipes. May Santa bring you “fat pants” without you asking for them. Impish, may he bring you extra fatter ones.

Hazelnut Chocolate Chip Cookies


Soft and chewy by nature, these nutty cookies start with a buttery oatmeal batter, but it’s the added elements of chocolate chips, chopped hazelnuts and crushed toffee that’ll make people beg for the recipe.

Total Time: 1 hr. 45 min
Prep: 30 min  Inactive: 1 hr.
Cook: 15 min   Yield: 4 dozen
Level: Easy



1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks), at room temperature
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
4 ounces English toffee candy, finely chopped (recommended: Heath or Skor)
1 cup hazelnuts, toasted, skinned and chopped
1 (12-ounce) bag semisweet chocolate chips


Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Line 2 heavy baking sheets with parchment paper. Finely chop the oats in a food processor. Transfer the oats to a medium bowl. Mix in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugars in a large bowl until fluffy. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Add the flour mixture and stir just until blended. Stir in the toffee, hazelnuts, and chocolate chips.
For each cookie, drop 1 rounded tablespoonful of dough onto sheet, spacing 1 inch apart (do not flatten dough). Bake until the cookies are golden (cookies will flatten slightly), about 15 minutes. Cool the cookies on the baking sheets for 5 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack and cool completely. (The cookies can be prepared 1 day ahead. Store in an airtight container at room temperature.)


Hey Impish! Weren’t you telling me about this gig you got doing a survey for Dove just a couple months ago?


Brutus practicing his undercover/hide in plain sight skills- the cheeky sneaky devil.




Cat’s name is actually ‘Fabulous’- no joke!


Quick! Every one grab a stiff drink before we get into these next few reports of what he liberal minds are up to, you’re sure to need/want it.



Think that’s bad? Here’s another Nebraska brilliant idea…


See what doing shots of ethanol will do to you?

This isn’t a joke and it’s really not funny, then again what P.C. Police ‘ruling’ is actually funny? Laughably stupid occasionally I’ll grant you but rarely if ever legitimately funny from where I sit. In case you cannot read the print above here’s a like to an NBC article on the subject.

Deaf child’s sign language name looks too much like gun, parent says school told him

Hunter Spanjer’s parents say officials at his Nebraska school asked them to change the sign for Hunter’s name, saying it looked too “gun-like,” but the school is denying they ever made the request. NBC’s Ron Allen reports and the Spanjer family talks about what the principal told them.




It’s kind of therapeutic to try though!



I know a lot of you are stressing over what to get who for Christmas. I’d like to help you out so I thought I’d include this suggestion from our local grocery store for your consideration:


Dats Just Cool1

Time for some gratuitous shots of stuff that exists for no other reason than its total coolness factor.


I think that’s all dinnerware for the largest part, I’m not completely sure. However I am completely sure that Impish has a serious case of statue envy right now!



The web is also book pages, rolled up and threaded on fishing line.






Hakuna matata! And in a really big way too!


Well apparently the verdict is in and its official


Until next week folks and remember, there are only –24– shopping days until Christmas!

Finn McCool Sig

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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5 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 368 for Wednesday Nov 30th 2016

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    Leah & Ginny-

    Thanks for the kind words as well as the advice regarding coffee. For years I have been trying to convince my doctors that a small insulin pump hooked up to a bag of coffee steadily feeding it directly into my blood stream would do me wonders as well as improve my mood greatly.
    So far no luck, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped trying!

    • impishdragon says:

      Why don’t you just piggy back on the Irish Whiskey pump that’s already hooked up?

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        1.) Because that would dilute/reduce the amount of Irish Whiskey I’m getting! DUH!

        2.) I require different dosage levels of each to achieve a proper approachable personality balance. Not unlike you with coffee and cigars I might point out.

  2. Ginny says:

    Considering all that happened from Thanksgiving and arriving back to “Home Sweet Home” you
    put out a great issue. Congrats to Molly, she is a real keeper. Keep your Irish Whiskey available along with a never empty pot of coffee….you will survive. Besides we all need you!

  3. Leah D says:

    I have one cup of coffee three or four times a day, every day!
    That’s why my kids, husband, grandkids, actually anyone who has to deal with me is still alive and well.

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