We got to enjoy about a week of cooler abet damper weather last week where the temps were in the middle 70’s and things felt sort of fall-ish out. However the middle of this week has seen us climb back into the low 80’s. Hard to feel like Thanksgiving when you’re tempted to put a fan behind your thawing turkey to help with the cooling in the kitchen!

Speaking of Thanksgiving and Turkey, subject both near and dear to Impish’s heart (via his stomach) let’s look in on Impish and see what holiday antics he’s up to this year:

Impish sat inhaling his cigar and blowing smoke out his nose staring out the patio doors of his office contemplating the utter disaster that was the last 15 minutes of his life.
He was flat out flummoxed to figure out what had happened and where it had all gone wrong. He glanced at the exploded 3 inch ring binder that sat in a pile of papers where he’d hurled it against the far wall of his office when he came in. Brutus was busily and happily shredding the papers it had contained now.

He’d spent weeks carefully planning everything down to the last detail. Made extra sure he’d done a good job on the Halloween issue and had his plan fully mapped out for Lethal to inspect (even though he’d planned a few private deviations from it that Lethal would never have to know about) So how had it gotten so bunged up? He thought back-

“He in?” Impish inquired of Friday bustling into the office under a full head of steam it had taken most of the hallway to work up to so she couldn’t stop him.

“He’s having lunch and doesn’t want to be disturbed specifically by mooching dragons.” came the response.

“Lunch? Fantastic! I-was-feeling-a-little-peckish-and-its-been-too-long-since-he-and-I-broke-bread-together-he-won’t-mind-sharing-with-his-best-bud.” Impish rapid fired over his shoulder as he barreled past her and into Lethal’s office. “Hi-pal!- Glad-I-caught-you.-Let me just-grab-this-chair-and-I’ll-help-you out-with-that…salad?!”

[Impish reflected that this should have been his first sign his luck had run out]

Lethal chewed mightily paused for a sip of his beloved Brown Gold before chewing a little more and swallowing. He paused to wipe his mouth (or Impish reflected hide a pleased smirk behind it) before inquiring of his rather tersely “Wadda ya want Impish? I’m a little busy here with this Cobb salad as you can see.”

Impish stammered “I ah…that is we’re due for our annual discussion..you know …Thanksgiving? You usually seek my input on the menu and such.”

Lethal stared at Impish  a moment before spearing a cherry tomato running it through the blue cheese dressing and then rolling it in the real bacon bits liberal tossed all over his salad. “I think you mean you think this is the time where you barge in my office with preposterous and grandiose ideas and enough recipes to feed several 3rd world countries ready to fight tooth and nail to defend every last one. THAT the discussion you’re wanting to have? Because if it is Impish frankly I’ve…”

“Hang on a moment please Lethal.” Impish places the binder on Lethal desk. “I’ve been trying to be more helpful around here and less of an obstruction. You have to admit my paperwork is up to date, my issues have been in on time, I did a good job on the Halloween special, heck I don’t want to brag but even those 11th hour changes to last weeks issue because of Paul & Ginny’s loss were dealt with by me in a dare I say top notch first rate manner.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a plan for Thanksgiving this year, well much of it comes from your plans from previous year with a few of my ideas and flourishes tossed in. Now I’d really like you to look at it not only with an eye to adopting my menu but also in regard to allowing me to run Thanksgiving this year.” There he thought, he’d said it, now if he could only get Lethal to agree step one of his Thanksgiving Master Plan Operation Thankful Dragon would be complete.

Lethal raised an eyebrow popped the tomato in his mouth, wiped it then made gimme motions at Impish and the book he had his hands still on. Taking the book he settle back in his chair and opened to the menu section. After perusing a few minutes while chewing he swallowed and spoke.

“Given this menu came from you,  its remarkably restrained and all most reasonable, though I do see a serious problem with your personal turkeys.”

“Problem? My turkeys? Those are crucial to my plan to maximize my eating time if I’m to crash ah err…drop in unannounced…no that’s no good…surprise several gatherings with my presence for their holiday dinner times.”

“Well yes I can clearly see that but none the less you idea of a straight turkey version of a Turducken will never fly. It is in fact impractical and impossible.”

“Why? I specifically call for leaving the dressing/stuffing out to leave more room for turkey” Impish was sure it would work even if spatial geometry wasn’t something he could spell much less understand.””

“Because the whole Turducken thing works because the birds are all progressively smaller in size, and made even more so by the removal of their bones. For it to work the way you want the first turkey would have to weigh in at 50 pounds minimum the second in the mid twenties and the third barely ten. I’ve never seen a 50 pound turkey and if it exists I serious doubt its for sale. Also you’re calling for 3 of these. Finding even one would be a miracle.” Lethal pontificated as he chose his next mouthful of salad, this one topped with smoked turkey and Swiss cheese strips which to Impish’s shock was actually making him start to salivate despite his despising vegetables.

“Well tabling that small hiccup for the moment what about the rest of it? Can I be given the responsibility of being in charge of Thanksgiving ?” Impish pressed.

“Oh no doubt this is impressive, I can see you have undoubtedly spent a great deal of time on this. I am impressed, truly I am.”

Impish though he heard a ‘but’ coming.

“But I wish you had asked me about this much earlier Impish. See while you were working on the Halloween issue I was working on the Veteran’s Day issue…”

“And a great issue it was! Fantastic! Probably your best ever dude Seriously, I wept like a baby at parts.”

Impish wasn’t above pandering and shamelessly sucking up to obtain his goals. Especially when food or hedonistic pleasures were at stake.  He liked to think he was good at it.

“Yes well be that as it may…” (he tosses Impish a napkin and mimes nose wiping ) “You’ve got some brown on it. Now where was I? Oh yes! As I was saying while doing the Veteran’s Day issue it occurred to me we needed to do more to show our support for our enlisted service personnel and their families. We talk a good game but we’re not doing nearly enough about it.

That’s when I decided on a theme for this years Thanksgiving Dinner and the theme sort of dictated the cuisine which in turn wound up dictating this years menu. Don’t lose that though, its not bad, sure it needs some work, but it has potential to be the plan for a future Thanksgiving or Christmas” Lethal stabbed his salad, ham topping the forkful this time which caused Impish stomach to rumble and chewed a moment giving Impish time to digest this bit of information as he took the book back from Lethal.

“So what’s this theme then?” Impish asked with as much trepidation as anticipation in his voice. While they had had themed events before never had he heard Lethal suggest that the theme had dictated the cuisine much less the cuisine dictating the menu. In Impish’s experience when cuisine dictated the menu that meant a restricted menu. He considered Mexican food a prime example of this.

Lethal sipped his Brown Gold, put the salad on his desk and folded his hand looking Impish squarely in the eyes. “This years theme is “Thanksgiving with the Troops.” I’ve invited about 2500 family members of deployed troops to join us for Thanksgiving dinner and I’m working on a few surprises for them too. To make them feel like their with their loved ones and to show our solidarity and support we’ll be eating what our deployed troops will be eating.” He points to 3 cases of something on a credenza off to one side of his office. “Holiday MREs for us and several company sized ones for you.” I got those as samples. Just leave me 2 of each and you can take the rest to try. Let me know which one(s) you prefer so I can make sure yours arrive with the others. Getting 3000 MRE’s here all at one time in such a short time when you’re ordering a specific MRE isn’t as easy as you might think. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think we’re done here and I’d like to finish my lunch before I start my back to back to back meetings this afternoon.”

Impish his mouth still agape got up from his chair and shuffled towards the door still shaking his head in disbelief.

“Hey! You’re forgetting the MRE’s ! Don’t you want to try them before I order? Otherwise It’s pot luck you’re getting!”

Impish his whole Thanksgiving Holiday Fantasy World to say nothing of his hopes for Operation Thankful Dragon dashed couldn’t bring himself to speak as he was barely containing his whimpers of disappointment now. He simply shook his head without turning around and made a dismissive swipe with his clawed forearm.

As he entered his office Terrance took one look at his boss and knew things had not gone even remotely as Impish had hoped. When he tried to question his boss about it Impish just shook his head and sighed saying he didn’t want to be disturbed for at least 2 hours before closing the door to his office and throwing the binder against the wall. He needed to think. To ponder. To regroup. There had to be alternatives, Thanksgiving was just too important to him, particularly to his stomach. He needed to figure out what had gone wrong to regroup and come up with an alternate plan.

Brutus, awoken by the sound of the binder hitting the wall waited until Impish was seated with cigar before jumping up on Impish and inquiring “Meeerky?”

Impish smile stroked his little muse and said “No, no Turkey. Apparently its MREs for all this year.” Brutus demonstrated what he thought of that by making a sound Impish associated with finding another sticky hairball soon after hearing.

“I quite agree Brutus, I quite agree. Now be a good lad and get down I’ve some thinking and scheming to do. I’m not giving up yet. This just might be Lethal’s opening gambit in his attempt to keep me out of the loop and away from the Thanksgiving preparations. Now that I think on it a little MREs for Thanksgiving is just too cruel and hideous even for him.”

 This is not the coffee you are looking for. You want Starbucks.

Turns out there’s a genetic reason why you drink so much coffee.

Many people cannot function properly without copious amounts of caffeine in their system on the daily basis. They drink cup after cup of coffee to open their eyes wider and wire up their systems. And after that coffee wears off and the dreaded “2PM slump” hits, everyone knows it’s time for a second round. Coffee has become a life source for many folks and science has now found a genetic reason why we all drink so much coffee.

A recent study found that a gene variation called PDSS2 makes people metabolize coffee slower — meaning they need less of it.

This gene variation is responsible for both lowering your caffeine cravings and making the coffee stay in your system for a prolonged time. People without the variation metabolize coffee at a normal/speedy rate — which means that are running for that second cup as you still ride the energy wave from the first.

To even further blow your mind with cool science stuff, study author Nicola Piratsu told Time that people with that gene variation need less coffee to get the same effect as those who drink more.

Maybe they are just more sensitive to the chemicals inside of coffee, which would explain why those lucky people evolved to not need liquid gold. Oh, what we wouldn’t do to naturally wake ourselves up in the morning.

The study was conducted on 1,200 people from Italy and then replicated in a follow-up study in the Netherlands. All results point to people with the gene variation PDSS2 drinking significantly less coffee every day compared to those who don’t have the variation. While coffee consumption studies are not uncommon, finding a result like this pretty rare. Hopefully, in the future, we can be genetically modified to avoid that third or fourth cup in the office.

Advice for after the election anxiety-

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during this political campaign, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.

I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

You can celebrate a lot more than Thanksgiving in November

Ok so we might be a day late on this first one but with T-Day coming up its still not a bad idea.

November 15th- Clean Out Your Fridge Day

It’s time to finally get rid of that week-old lasagna and whatever else might be lurking in those corners.

November 17th- National Unfriend Day

Two days after you’ve cleaned out your fridge you can clean out your friends. Do you really need to know what’s going on in your third grade teachers’ life? Probably not.

November 18th- Use Less Stuff Day

No one likes a hoarder, so take some time to think about what you actually need in your life and try and think about how you can declutter your day.

November 19th- World Toilet Day

Yes, this is a thing. Created in 2001, the international event is meant to destigmatize the toilet and address the issue of global sanitization. Their website points out that billions of people in the world don’t have access to toilets and that they’re not only a life necessity, but they can be “fun and sexy.” Yes, fun and sexy.

November 19th- International Men’s Day

Each year there is a different theme for International Men’s Day, this year their mission is to stop male suicide, according to their website.

If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds.
If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds.
If you’re happy and you know it, your Pharmacy bills are gonna show it.
If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds.

Excuse me ,it’s time for me to go get happy again!

Lets face it, we all know what’s for Thanksgiving dinner already. In many cases the menu is dictated by family tradition, Aunt Sally’s Sweet Potatoes, Betty’s Blueberry Buckle, Mom recreates her mothers Turkey and Stuffing (?Dressing). Then we all have that one relative that insists on experimenting every year. Last year it was mashed cauliflower, the year before the braised Brussels sprouts before that was some Cabbage concoction.

I won’t waste your time with dinner ideas but here are a couple ideas for the dessert table that are fast easy and sure to please.

Pumpkin Dip

Total Time:  10 min
Prep: 10 min
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Level: Easy

Ingredients

One 15-ounce can pure pumpkin puree
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
3 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
3/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 cup heavy cream
Ginger snap cookies, for garnish

Directions

Put the pumpkin puree, light brown sugar, cream cheese, pumpkin pie spice and salt in a large bowl and beat with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until completely smooth. Add the heavy cream and continue to beat on medium-high until very thick and fluffy. Transfer to a dip bowl and keep refrigerated until ready to serve. Right before serving, garnish with a border of ginger snaps. Serve with dippers. 

Suggested dippers: ginger snaps, cinnamon-sugar pita chips, graham crackers

Apple-Bread Pudding Cake

Total Time: 1 hr. 5 min
Prep: 30 min
Cook: 35 min
Yield: 8-10
Level: Easy

Ingredients

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, plus more for the pan
2 1/2 cups chunky applesauce
1/2 cup golden raisins
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup milk
2 large eggs, separated
1 1 -pound loaf sliced whole-wheat or cinnamon-raisin bread, crusts removed
1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar
3/4 cup apricot preserves

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Butter an 8-inch-square baking pan and line with foil, leaving a 2-inch overhang on all sides; butter the foil.
Mix the applesauce, raisins, lemon zest and cinnamon in a bowl; set aside. Whisk the melted butter, milk and egg yolks in a shallow dish.
Dip half of the bread slices in the egg mixture and layer in the prepared pan, trimming as needed. Spread the applesauce mixture over the bread. Dip the remaining bread slices in the egg mixture and layer on top. Bake until the egg mixture is set and the bread is golden, about 35 minutes.
Meanwhile, beat the egg whites and confectioners’ sugar in a bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form. Spread the apricot preserves on top of the cake. Spread the egg-white mixture on top of the preserves, forming peaks with the back of a spoon. Return to the oven until the meringue is golden, 5 to 7 minutes.
Let the cake cool in the pan, about 1 hour. Lift out of the pan using the foil and slice into squares for serving.

Me personally, I’m not a meringue kind of guy. I just omit the Apricot Preserves and the meringue step and opt for a very large dollop of whipped cream on top instead.

I do the same thing but for different reasons. I have faith in Hillary & Bill’s death squads!

Since Thanksgiving is practically synonymous with Football, I thought it appropriate I tweak the blue one’s nose just a little about a certain subject:

Vatican bans Catholics from keeping ashes of loved ones at home

Cremation guidelines state remains cannot be scattered or kept at home but rather stored in a sacred, church-approved place

Catholics are forbidden from keeping the ashes of cremated loved ones at home, scattering them, dividing them between family members or turning them into mementoes, the Vatican has ruled.

Ashes must be stored in a sacred place, such as a cemetery, according to instructions disclosed at a press conference in Rome on Tuesday.

The Vatican may protest, but traditional funerals are dead and buried

Sophia Deboick

Acknowledging that an increasing number of Catholics were opting for cremation rather than burial, the church’s doctrinal and disciplinary body warned against “new ideas contrary to the church’s faith”.

Cardinal Gerhard Müller, the prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, reiterated that burial of the dead was preferable to cremation.

“We come from the earth and we shall return to the earth,” he said. “The church continues to incessantly recommend that the bodies of the dead be buried either in cemeteries or in other sacred ground.”

Cardinal Gerhard Müller outlines Catholic cremation guidelines at a press conference in Rome. 

However, the increase in cremation since it was permitted in 1963 required new guidelines, he added, noting an increasing trend for “domestic” conservation.

Ashes must be kept “in a holy place, that is a cemetery or a church or in a place that has been specifically dedicated to this purpose. The conservation of ashes in the home is not allowed,” he said.

“Furthermore, in order to avoid any form of pantheistic or naturalistic or nihilistic misunderstanding, the dispersion of ashes in the air, on the ground, on water or in some other way as well as the conversion of cremated ashes into commemorative objects is not allowed.”

A bishop may allow ashes to be kept at home only in extraordinary cases, the instructions state.

Some people keep the ashes of loved ones in urns or special containers on display, while others prefer to scatter them in gardens of remembrance or favorite spots. Possibilities include mixing them with clay, concrete or paint to create works of art or to incorporate them into building projects, having ashes pressed into vinyl to make a musical memento, or turning them into fireworks or jeweler.

The Vatican document, Ad Resurgendum cum Christo, is dated 15 August and says Pope Francis approved it in March. The instructions were released before All Souls’ Day on 2 November, when the faithful remember and pray for the dead.

The Vatican may protest, but traditional funerals are dead and buried

Sophia Deboick

Just in time for the prayers for the dead on All Souls’ Day next Wednesday, the Vatican has restated its position on what can be done with the ashes of the faithful. In short, no longer can Auntie be kept in a mantelpiece urn or granddad’s ashes scattered on his local team’s football pitch.

Concerned about the adoption of “new ideas contrary to the church’s faith” suggestive of “pantheism, naturalism or nihilism”, the Vatican document conflates ashes-scattering with a dangerously new age spirituality, stipulating instead that remains should be kept tangibly in a sacred place. The Catholic belief in bodily resurrection at the end of days makes this position unsurprising, and the church clearly has a vested interest in discouraging casual rituals outside their control, but it’s a proscription that doesn’t sit well with current trends in the UK. The Vatican may face a harder battle against creeping modernism in the matter of burial and funeral practices than they bargained for.

Burial space in the UK is at a premium. [as well as in many other countries- L.L.] The Labour government’s 2007 plan to allow the reuse of graves was given the green light in London, but the toxicity of the topic has seen it languish “under review” ever since for the rest of England and Wales. A Scottish bill to permit such recycling was passed in March. But such measures won’t make a significant dent in the 75% cremation rate, and the scattering of ashes is still a huge trend – the Mountaineering Council of Scotland warns that the sheer volume of ashes on the most popular summits is such that it is causing dangerous chemical changes in the soil.

he Vatican rejects the idea of death as “the moment of fusion with Mother Nature or the universe, or as a stage in the cycle of regeneration” that scattering in such natural environments represents; it also bans the use of ashes in memorial trinkets. In recent years, ashes have been used to make everything from records to tattoo ink, and such gung-ho going-ons have become associated with rock’n’roll abandon, from Keith Richards snorting his father’s remains, to the metal fan whose ashes were scattered in the mosh pit earlier this year. US experimental act Negativland went so far as to issue their new album this month with a small bag of the ashes of band member Don Joyce. Irreverent stuff, but the modern history of cremation in the UK started in no less paganistic style, with the failed prosecution of druid William Price for burning the body of his baby son on a pyre in 1884, setting a legal precedent that saw the practice legalised in 1902.

But cremation may not be where the individualism and valorisation of the natural world the church so fears is really thriving. Alternative trends in the disposal of bodies are moving towards burial. The Association of Natural Burial Grounds (ANBG) represents more than 270 woodlands and meadows run as natural cemeteries in the UK; 20 years ago there was only one such facility. It is in natural burial that the idea of an unmediated return to the earth that the church has denounced is writ large, with bodies often buried without a coffin and the landscape managed sustainably to preserve its natural beauty.

Rosie Inman-Cook, head of the ANBG and of the Natural Death Centre (NDC), a charity that puts choice, family and respect for the environment at the centre of their funeral advice service, has written inspiringly about the wide range of funeral and burial options available in the UK today. In the words of Leedam Natural Heritage, which operates eight natural burial grounds, these alternatives “offer something gentler”. Indeed, this is all in a context of the rejection of the staid funerals of old, which belonged to a more emotionally buttoned-up past, with British Humanist Association-trained celebrants now conducting more than 7,000 funerals a year.

But more and more people are doing away with formal ceremony and professional celebrant altogether, instead taking the “direct-it-yourself” approach championed by Inman-Cook, or going for direct cremation, which involves no funeral at all. The fact that David Bowie chose this option cemented his image as the ultimate individualist, and the NDC has reported a rise in interest in this possibility.

With adherence to a faith’s doctrines always being on a sliding scale, and the Catholic faithful hardly being immune to changing fashions, the church perceives these new approaches to marking the end of our lives as a threat. But if they are worried about greater freedom and a more individualistic approach to death and burial, scattering of ashes is old news.

I wasn’t too happy when I read all the above. As most of you know I was raised Roman Catholic but drifted away when I began to learn about the church, its motivations, and started asking intelligent pointed questions about dogma and the rational behind some church policies. The more time I was told ‘I had to take things on faith or was pointed to the bible as the rational (a book which anyone of any serious learning and intelligence will recognize as apocryphal the more I rebelled an asked questions.

I finally came to the conclusion the religion (or at least the RCC as I really do not have much experience with other religions) just like our Big Brother government is primarily about control. Control of you. What you think, what you believe what you do or do not do.

It’s secondary purpose in attaching it self to you is to amass money because money plus loyal unthinking for themselves followers equates to power. 850 million Catholics tithe on the average $10 per week to their church. That’s just the regular collections and not counting the special ones. That’s $44.2 Billion a year they collect tax free from their followers for no other reason than because they tell their ‘faithful’ to donate and they do so. We’ll get back to this and why it’s important in a few minutes.

I check back as best I could and up until this Papal Bull was issued there was no condemnation of conversation about cremated remains coming out of the Vatican. I will admit that some of the things that are offered to be done with a loved one’s ashes are questionable in taste and reverence. Shot Gun shells and fireworks leading that list.  The antics of a few idiots like Keith Richards (who never met a substance he wouldn’t snort) and that metalhead are going to be with us regardless of what rules someone lays down. I have faith that there will always be idiots and idiots will always do idiotic things with out regard for anything other than their whims.

Statuary being made from concrete and cremains is a grey area which I consider dependent on what the statue is, its placement and the intent of the bereaved in having it made. A particularly religious family having the matriarch’s ashes cast into a likeness of the Virgin Mary and placed in a shrine in their back yard I see no problem with. A lawn jockey for the front porch not so much.

Ashes being converted into diamonds to my way of thinking is a borderline thing. True you are changing the nature of the cremains but you are also insuring they are going to last literally forever. A widow of a 50 year happy marriage wants a diamond pendant made from her husband’s cremains so she can keep him close to her heart, why not? Turning the husband into a flashy diamond tennis bracelet because she thought him too cheap to buy her one while she was alive? No.

With regards to the spreading of cremains at the request of the deceased, this is where I really start getting disgusted with this issue. According to Genesis 2:7

“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”

According to the Qur’an[23:12–15],

“God created man from clay.”

If you observe Ash Wednesday, the opening day of the season of Lent, a priest marks your forehead with the sign of the cross by dipping his thumb into a bowl of moistened palm ashes while telling you:

Meménto, homo, quia pulvis es, et in púlverem revertéris
Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return

The words said by the priest come from Genesis 3:19 when Adam and Eve were made subject to the corruption of death and dying with the words of God ringing in their ears:

“for dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return”

Yet (in my mind at least some what blatantly hypocritically) the church is seeking to bar you from returning your loved one the the dust from which he was created, choosing to label it

“the adoption of “new ideas contrary to the church’s faith” suggestive of “pantheism, naturalism or nihilism”…

The church allegedly sees the adoption of these ideas and the “direct-it-yourself” approach or going for direct cremation, which involves no funeral at all as a threat. My problem is what they perceive it as a threat to. Certainly not to our faith, Europe is full of crypts where the bones of the dead have been fashioned into artwork, chandeliers, arches, ceiling supports, ceiling decorations etc. what the majority of people are doing with the cremains are certainly no worse than these examples that were done my the church itself.

No, what this change in attitude towards the remains of our deceased represents is a threat to the bottom line of the church.

THAT is what has them up in arms, as these practices grow the sales of burial plots on church owned “consecrated hallow ground” ($1000 to $4500/ plot) and mausoleum crypts ($2000 to $4000) steadily decline and the church loses revenue. Remember that $44.2 billion in collections annually? Well the Vatican shows assets in the Vatican Bank totaling roughly only $8 billion. A lot of bites get taken out of the $44.2 billion on its way up the ladder. The local church has the be kept up, the Diocese, Archdiocease both take a cut, all the priests and lay people associated the the churches there represented must be paid, then there is the upkeep on the Cemeteries and Mausoleums. When you start losing on the average of $3000/ departed faithful the accounts start cringing and crying out for something to be done because not only the faithful are starting to think for themselves (a danger to any organized religion to be sure) but with their bottom line taking a dip the start losing power and prestige. When you are bent on forcing your religious dogma down the throats of ever government in the world that’s a bad thing. Lack of power means lack of influence and that cannot be tolerated when interfering in free governments.