Good Morning Campers,
Another crazy week of weird hours and working on so many different projects I’m not sure what is going on on any different day. It’s been wild.
And now it’s come time to write my lead in for today’s issue and I’m stumped. I have no idea what to write about. I’ve finished the issue and I’m just ready to print and I’m all written out.
So, I’m gonna give all of you a break tonight and just say:
Well, it seems as though someone fixed the problem with the videos and we can now put them back in the issue.
Yup, this is a Dragon Laffs Public Service Announcement. Our own dear Ginny sent me this video because it’s got some great safety information and something that every driver should watch. So, click on it and watch, already.
A lot of good information that I didn’t know…and you know what they say, “It’s what you don’t know that can kill you.” Yeah it can.
Ouch! Rudolph doing time. You know, having ridden with Santa on more than one occasion, I’m here to tell you that Rudolph can be a bit of a snob and finding out that he flipped out and is now behind bars isn’t that surprising to me.
A lot of our dear camper buddies on the east coast got their asses handed to them by mother nature in the form of a bunch of feet of snow. Not inches, feet! So, in their name I’d like to recite this little poem, you can even sing it, if you wish.
Oh the weather outside can bite me,
My muscles ache to spite me,
I don’t have that happy glow,
Thank you, thank you very much! I’ll be here all day! Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
That is absolutely perfect for me, every morning!
Okay, so we’re celebrating videos and winter this issue, so sit back and watch and laugh
That’s why people move to Florida.
Last year we had one of the qualifying rounds for the Draconian Olympics, which are held every four years in Draconia and which will take place this year. Here is one of the contestants running the 25 mile dash and destroy events.
Yup, and it was a salesman by the name of Lethal Leprechaun. Ain’t none better.
I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to emails from some of you.
I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF).
For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF, it is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. Symptoms include, but may not be limited to:
– Severe pain of the scalp from pulling you own hair while viewing the President pander to Muslim terrorists.
– Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice. (I didn’t vote for the ass.)
– Extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing Muslim terrorists murdering innocent people.
If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure.
It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available early November of 2016.
And, stupidly, I thought it was due to aging!
That’s really not funny since Lethal handles my legal affairs under the same system.
This one is good, even if it is a push for Trump. It makes a lot of good points. Although I think I may have run this one once before, it’s worth watching again.
Greenpeace reported that China’s windless winter is causing air quality to worsen in much of the country Wednesday. In addition, according to satellite readings, smog is drifting across the Pacific Ocean to pollute the West Coast of the U.S. Can’t we make anything in this country anymore?
Heck, you celebrate the way you want and I’ll celebrate the way I do.
Thirteen Hours was released in theaters Friday about the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi four years ago. It’s got Democrats jumpy. Hillary Clinton’s campaign said she won’t see the movie because she’s too busy campaigning, the same reason she didn’t stop the actual attack.
Lethal Leprechaun and his law group Dewie, Cheatum and Howe have a newly hired junior attorney. Here’s a short picture sequence of some of his latest rulings.
An old man asks his wife: “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”
Martha replied, “Well Henry, I have to be honest with you.. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons’?”
Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that.. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”
Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he performed the surgery at no charge.”
“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”
“Alright,” Martha said. “Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”
Okay, so I apologize for this one.
If it’s so bad, why am I publishing it?, you ask.
Well, believe it or not, there are actually campers out there among you who like this stuff. And you know that Dragon Laffs is an equal opportunity insulter.
Ginny sent this next one to me, so I sent it to you. If you think it’s as sick as I do, then blame Ginny!
The woman said “Get away from me, you sicko!”
The bum turned to leave and muttered, “Fine, I’ll just go wait at the bottom.”
Pretty bad, right? Yeah, I thought so too. It’s amazing that it made it through the censors.
“How To Stop Church Gossip”
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.
Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there would know what he was doing!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing..
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house … walked home …. .and left it there all night.
You always have to watch the quiet ones. They’re the ones who get the best revenge.
Here’s the headline:
NY COUPLE ORDERED TO COMPLETE “RE-EDUCATION” TO CONTRADICT RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ABOUT MARRIAGE
JANUARY 27, 2016
So, my first thought is this some sort of way out there, off beat religion that allows people to marry their pets or something like that? Oh no! Not at all. Read on dear camper:
Do you remember the New York couple, who was sued for their refusal to host a same-sex marriage ceremony on their property?
Okay, hang on a second. Are you saying that if I don’t want, say, Islamic Muslims in my home, that I can be sued and charged with discrimination against a protected class of people? It’s my home, shouldn’t I be allowed to have anyone in there that I want and to keep out anybody I want? In my own home?
Apparently not. There’s more.
So, I guess we can cross this one off the list, just like the second one…
Yeah, we don’t like that one so much. Besides, the Constitution is a living, breathing document, which means that it only says what we say it means.
Now, I want everyone to know that I am NOT gay bashing and saying that they shouldn’t be allowed to marry or anything like that. What I’m saying is their right to be together does NOT over rule anyone’s right to believe whether what they are doing is right or wrong.
They weren’t hurt in any way by these people saying that they couldn’t use their home. It wouldn’t have been any different than them saying they were already booked on a particular day. They just have to GO SOME WHERE ELSE!
But no. They were discriminated against. So, let’s sue.
I agree with the author of this piece… WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?!
I now return you to your regularly scheduled programing…
Our Yearly Dementia Test– only 4 questions:
It’s that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast’ give up now and do something else�
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say ‘silk’ five times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question.
Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and
a blue house is made from blue bricks and
a pink house is made from pink bricks and
a black house is made from black bricks,
what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said ‘green bricks,’ why are you still reading these???
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4.
4. Without using a calculator –
You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmarthen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven…
Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don’t you remember your own age….
It was YOU driving the bus!
If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail some of the questions!
It’s not like it could get much worse
My dog loves this picture. He agrees completely that there are way too many cats on the internet.
I just opened this email from my dad and it hit me really hard. Really hard. So, I just had to share it with you guys.
That song gives me chills every time I hear it, but for some reason, today, it just hit me really hard.
It’s not a matter of whether he is worth $15 an hour, or whether the place of business can afford to pay him and his peers $15 an hour, it is that he wants $15 an hour so he has to get it. It’s such stupid bullshit.
Okay, so Lethal Leprechaun asked me for some room in my issue today for a guest rant and I said sure, how about the Last Word, it’s always an open topic and he can talk about what ever he wants. Well, when I found out what he wanted to talk about I was in 100% agreement because that is the exact thing I was going to talk about myself. So here, is Mr. Leprechaun’s …
Well, your normally scheduled Dragon is pretty well cheesed off as well. You have no idea how much of my personal money I’ve contributed to this organization. Lethal and I both have spent time and money on this organization to find out that this is what they are really all about!
Yeah, I’m pissed. And you should be too.