Good Morning Campers,

As you remember, we left off with our heroes just discovering that the littlest dragon had gone missing…

“wait … where’s Izzy?” Mrs. Dragon suddenly asks.  No one else in the room looks around except Mrs. Dragon who is getting more and more upset.

“She is safe and about to experience her first, what I’d characterize as a ‘dragon sized’ teachable moment for head strong mythical mixed race adolescents. Not to worry, the teacher is an expert in such situations. While the lesson might scare her a bit momentarily, which I hasten to add is more or less the entire point, she’s safe, not far away, in no trouble, has 3 ninja cats with her she knows nothing of and willingly or not will be quite safe until we join up again shortly.  I promise.”

Mrs. Dragon quivering with anger, both at Lethal for allowing her daughter to leave the perceived safety of her  line of sight as well as at her daughter’s insolent sulking adolescent behavior. Glaring at Impish for allowing all of the above, she begins to go insubstantial as she starts transforming into her true Banshee form.

 Impish casually places his fingers in his ears as Lethal hurriedly reaches for a pair of Industrial Noise Canceling Head Phones and hastily blurts out-  “ Now before you go off in all finger nails on blackboard screeching fit o’ fury, ‘tis a few words in my defense I’ll be offering. I allowed it to happen as an exercise in reverse psychology and to show Lil Missy-Too-Big-For-Her-Black-PJs  that, regardless of her personal assessment of her skills, she’s a long way from being a reincarnation of Tomoe Gozen or a real life Jinx or Elecktra.”

He directs his gaze at Clan Mistress SC where she is perched on the table eyes half lidded next to Friday who is absently stroking her head. “The NKs will make it a point in the future, I’m sure, of strongly discouraging this sort of behavior or I’ll not permit the lessons to continue.” This comment causes SC to open her eyes a brief moment and respond with a “Merff!” before turning her head so the focus of Friday’s absent minded petting falls on one ear and her eyes return to a half lidded expression of pleasure.

“Now, if we had tried to exclude Izzy from the briefing she would have undoubtedly felt it mandatory to attempt to eavesdrop or otherwise gain knowledge of what was going on/being said instead of having lunch quietly with one of the sisters here. By including her, then allowing her to conclude it was a boring adult-stuff meeting where nothing exciting would happen and allowing her to slip out in what she thinks was unplanned and unnoticed to follow Mr. Boy, (whom I might add was a deliberate enticement to do so since I already knew what he was going to tell us) I achieved the desired end result of her being absent from the meeting and being escorted exactly where I wished her to be sans all the teen aged female angst and drama.”

Izzy Dragon was currently skulking down a corridor, swiftly moving from one shadow to the next so as not to be noticed.  She was very glad of the training she had been receiving from the Ninja Kitties and how they had taken her in as one of their own clan.  She was currently following the big red guy, whom she knew to be Hell Boy.  She wasn’t familiar with his backstory, but she knew he was important, just by the fact that he seemed to answer to her dad and uncle Lethal.  She chuckled quietly to herself as she thought about how easy it was to slip out past the parental units, the Week Day Girls and the cyberlethals from their stupid, boring meeting.  Nobody pays attention to kids, which makes her ninja skills even easier to use.

Hell Boy had just turned the corner up ahead and was momentarily out of sight.  She hurried to the turn in the corridor and as she peeked around she came face to face with his giant mug.  “Boo!”, he said and Izzy squeaked in surprise.  Before she could make a move, he snatched her up by the back of her shirt in his stone fist and stood with her, holding her up to look him in the eyes.

Speaking through the cigar, clamped tightly between his teeth he said, “Well, well, well, what have we here.  A tiny spy come to see what the big red guy is up to, huh?  You know what we do to  spies we catch, dontcha?  We torture and then kill them.”

Izzy struggled in his grasp, “Let me go!  Let me go!  I didn’t do nothin’! I’m not a spy!”

“Let me give you two points of advice, little spy, before I eat you for lunch.”

“I’m not afraid of you!  You wouldn’t be giving me advice if you were going to eat me! My Dad’s a dragon, you hurt me and he’ll spit roast you for his friends and make soup out of your tail.”

“Good points.  Except for the part about my being afraid of your Dad, I’ve been up against him before. So, we’ll just skip the advice.  Move right to lunch.  Like your Dad I’m thinkin’ spit roasted over a slow fire, with some mushrooms, sautéed onions, and a bit of my own steak sauce.”

“I don’t like mushrooms and onions!”

Hell Boy poked her once or twice in the ribs and said, “Yup, should be nice and tender.  Don’t matter what you like.  I’m the one that’s going to be eating them, not you.”  He continued to carry her towards the kitchen, describing in detail how he was going to fix her for lunch, with her squirming and arguing with him the whole way.

“Izzy is fine, she’s being well cared for.  She thought she slipped out, using the ninja skills the NK Clan have been teaching her. She’s currently down in the kitchen being lunch for Big Red.  Um…that is to say, she’s having lunch with Hell Boy, although he’s doing his best to convince her that she IS his lunch, but she’s not really buying it and she’s mouthing off to him and holding her own.  We’ll join them later.”

Mrs. Dragon seemed to visibly relax while Impish and Lethal shared a look and then chuckled together. “Okay, so then let’s get Intel in here and get an update on just what the hell seems to be going on.”

Lethal nods at Tuesday as he removes the headphones saying “My dear would you please tell No-name we’re ready for him now?” She nods and steps out of the room.

That’s about all we can share right now.  We’re past the time to get the issue started, so I’m very pleased to say:

 

The funniest part about this next piece is that someone felt it necessary to put the word “satire” after the title!

Did anyone watch the democratic debates on Tuesday?  Here’s a recap.

And that about wraps it up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a picture of our day care in the offices.  All the kids always say they have a wonderful time.  Plus, any employee who doesn’t get their child back at the end of the day, get’s a one hundred gold piece bonus.

 

 

 

 

 

That’s one of our security experts posing for a book cover for a book that she wrote.  It’s not out yet, so I can’t tell you what the title is or what it’s about, but she did give me permission to use the picture.  Nice, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a great example of how amazing our media is…

In case you don’t remember, or are too young to remember, the answer to that question was a resounding “NO!”

 

Hillary Clinton enjoyed a winning night at the Democratic Party presidential debate Tuesday at the Wynn Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. She had more important things on her mind than the issues. For one thing, during the entire two-hour debate, Bill was unsupervised and in Las Vegas.

 

Women are like volcanoes.
Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything in their path.
Then they are calm again.

 

 

Well, it’s time to leave us for today…but before we go, let’s take a quick peek back in on our friends and family.

Almost immediately, the legendary (but only known within the confines of DL&LL, Inc) No-name steps into the room.  Obviously he had been nearby awaiting his summons.  As he closes the door behind him, the room quickly quiets, the tension rising with the expectation of his report.

“Keep stirring those onions, they need to be sautéed in butter until they are almost clear, then we can add the mushrooms.” HB was standing over the littlest dragon as she stood at the stove.

“If you’re going to eat me, what am I doing cooking for you?”

Hell Boy had just thrown a couple of thick steaks on the grill as he answered, “If I make you work a little bit, it gets all the juices inside of you working a little bit and it makes for a much more tender and juicy baby dragon roast.  So, go ahead and throw those mushrooms in the pan and keep stirring like you have been doing.”

“I’m going to work so hard that I won’t be anything but tough and stringy for you!” She said as she stirred all the faster and harder.  She was a little startled when the big red guy just chuckled deep in his throat.

“Don’t worry you’re succulent little brain about it” dabbing a bit of the steak sauce he’d been working on on the end of her nose her continues, “that’s the thing about slow roasting, like braising it insures even tough and stringy meat becomes tender and stays juicy.”

Izzy began to wish she’d chosen to sit quietly through the meeting with Uncle Lethal and the ‘rents. Maybe Chai & SC had a point, ninja skills were sometimes no substitute for simple patience.

No-name had just finished his briefing and was being dismissed by Lethal.  “Thank you for that report, No-Name.  If no one has any more questions for him…?  Lethal glanced once around the table and receiving no further questions, proceeded, “Okay, thank you.  You may go, but stay close to your phone in case we have any more questions.”

Once the head of security left, Mrs. Dragon filled the silence, “So, why is that bitch, Hillary, trying to kill the two of you?  I don’t think I understood that part.”

Impish spoke up, “It’s not just Lethal and I her organization is trying to get to, it’s also any of our people, plus our families.”

Lethal added, “For the time being and immediately after this meeting, extra security will be placed around our families and anyone who wants can have their families stay at the resort area.  We might even make that a strong suggestion to all our members.  Call it a corporate vacation of sorts.  Everyone we can get inside of our facilities will be that many less we’ll have to have additional people in the field.  They will all be much safer here.”

“Well, you know dear,” she turns to look at Impish, “I have that charity event coming up this Thursday.  You know, the fund raiser for the poor children of MMFFPC (Magical, Mythical, Fantasy and Fictitious Persons and Creatures) coming up this Friday evening. And next weekend, you promised us a trip to Disney World.  Tinker Bell herself invited Izzy!  We just can’t miss those.”

“Before we discuss the security (nightmare)”, but that last bit was said under his breath, “Let’s go ahead and recap what we know so far.”

 1.) Liberals have absolutely no sense or concept of humor. Even the ones that are quintessential walking Liberal jokes and/or oxymoronic are not seen as funny by them

2.) Liberals hate facts and find them terribly inconvenient. They hate those who regularly use them to poke holes in their beliefs and arguments even more. Especially when this results in their true agenda being dragged out of the shadows into the light.

3.) They are desperate to to keep Obama’s legacy of moving us towards sharia law and socialism via importing as many resident aliens who they can entice to vote for them as they possibly can. The legality of the presence of these aliens is of no concern to them as they’re intent of granting the illegal one legal status. Should this policy allow terrorist cells to enter the US and/or successfully execute a planned terrorist attack as long as its not on them or their political support they really don’t care. After all it will only serve as a reason to strengthen the DHS and further their cause to disarm the American people.

4.) Hillary is intent on

    a.) Being elected the first woman President

    b.) Getting revenge on any one still in politics for what was done to her philandering meat puppet husband and herself while he was in office the first time.

    c.) Making as much money for her and their political cronies/ powerful backers (George Soros) as possible.

    d.) Continuing to erode the Constitution and all America used to stand for while simultaneously bankrupting us to bring about their desired new world order (and I don’t mean the farcical WWF one either)

    e.) Silencing any voice of reason or opposition by any and all means necessary. This includes the buying of media groups by liberals, seeing media icons discredited and replaced with those more easily persuaded or buying off those they cannot reach otherwise.

5.) When ever possible Hillary likes to make an example of those who oppose her & her husband. Walter Schieb, Charles Ruff, Tony Moser, James McDougal, John Millis and Ron Miller are all proof of this as well as their ability to manipulate the system in their favor to avoid prosecution or make prosecution go away. Since we are intent on standing in the way of #s 3 & 4 are guilty of being in the faction listed in #2 as well as shining light on Liberal Fallacies and Fantasies regularly use humor and facts to do so in direct affront of #1 we’re pretty high on the Liberal’s Wanted Dead or Mysteriously Dying list. Short of that, which so far has proven extraordinarily difficult due to my paranoid penchant for security and Impish’s uncanny dumb luck, they’ll resort to sending us a back off message by attempting to hurt/permanently injure or maim, or cause to die slowly &/or horribly someone close to us.

6.) This option apparently has become the preferred one since there have been several failed attempts, mostly on Impish which resulted in their agents meeting extraordinarily unpleasant ends. Additionally I believe they are focused on Impish and not me because of his involvement in the Kringle Washington DC Amicus Briefing Bombing Run of Feburary 2014. This saw the successful targeting of just about everyone in ASSHAT (Alphabet Soup Society Head Antagonistic Turds) and their key Minions the content of delivered package which was designed to insult and inflame them to more laughable heights as well as demonstrate that the Mythical Community was both backing us and would fight back in their refusal to be exploited by the Liberal powers that (for the Moment) be.

That’s it for now my friends.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon