Leprechaun Laughs # 315 for Wednesday September 9th 2015


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“That we we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Abraham Lincoln

So too is my resolve. So too should be the resolve of every American. not just once a year but everyday, every time you see or hear of a Muslim protest against the US , hear the words ‘Allahu akbar’, see or hear of a Muslim in the US demanding that we cater to his religion and/or Sharia Law, every time see a woman forced to wear the Hijab, despite not being Muslim or read of the oppression of women in general by the hypocritical ‘Religion of Peace’.

The events of September 11, 2001 are forever etched into the hearts and souls of the family members and loved ones of those who died, our nation, and the world. The United States experienced the worst incident of terrorism in its history; the coordinated hijacking of four commercial planes, the planned attack on symbolic targets, and the murder of innocent people were all tragic and shocking events. The extraordinary responses of individuals to the challenges they faced are inspiring and worthy of remembrance.

Sadly as time passes, fewer and fewer who are non directly linked can be bothered remember or even care. Lessons learned are forgotten, history repeats itself and we are lessened as a Nation for and by it.

On a last but far from least note I want to extend my genuine and heartfelt thank you to readers PaulK9 and Ginny. Their very kind and generous assistance made what is for me never an easy issue to author so much easier this year.It might not seem like a lot of what you sent me made it in her folks but believe me all of your support sure as hell did. Thank You.

Paul, of everyone I have met since that day, you are one of the few I know truly understands my feelings on the subject and knows first hand what facing something of that magnitude is like. Thanks for having my back on this.

Ginny darling’ you mischievous minx, a special thanks to you not only for the graphic which gave me the idea for the opening banner but for your apparently inexhaustible light hearted good humor (and teaching me humility daily with that damned trivia contest of yours!). Whenever this got too hard to contend with a few minutes reading your humor laden e-mails and responses made it a lot easier. Thanks for being a much needed ray of sunshine and for volunteering Paul’s help when I mentioned Impish and I decided there wasn’t going to be a special issue for this event this year.

TEam USa Lets Roll

For those of you who don’t know it, have forgotten or can’t even remember what they ate for breakfast today, every issue of Leprechaun Laughs since my first September 11th Memorial issue has opened with these words in memory of and personal admiration for Todd Beamer. These are the last words his wife heard at the end of his ‘good bye I love you but I think I’m about to die’ call.

Todd and a few others refused to go gently or meekly to their end. They went out like true American heroes fighting against the odds, refusing to give up because that’s what Americans due. We stand our ground, we draw a line in the sand and we refuse to retreat from confrontation regardless the odds. If their demonstration of American heroism isn’t worthy of admiration and remembrance I don’t know what is.

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 Todd Morgan Beamer (November 24, 1968  – September 11, 2001) was an American software salesman and passenger aboard United Airlines Flight 93 which was hijacked as part of the September 11 attacks in 2001. He was one of the passengers who tried to reclaim the aircraft from the hijackers, leading them to crash it into a field in Stonycreek Township near Shanksville, Pennsylvania

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The Shanksville Volunteer Fire Department is a volunteer fire department in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. The department provides fire protection and emergency medical services boroughs of Shanksville and Indian Lake as well as to the Stonycreek Township. The response area is approximately 62 square miles (160 km2) with an estimated 2,500 residents. Additionally the department is responsible for a 15-mile (24 km) stretch of the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

On September 11, 2001, the Shanksville Volunteer Fire Department responded to the United Airlines Flight 93 crash scene to search for survivors They found a smoking crater 8 feet (2.4 m) to 10 feet (3.0 m) deep, and 30 feet (9.1 m) to 50 feet (15 m) wide surrounded by burning wreckage of the aircraft. None of the 44 people on board survived. Flight 93 was one of four airliners hijacked that day as part of the al-Qaeda terror attack on the United States. It is widely held that the Flight 93 hijackers intended to use the aircraft to attack the United States Capitol building in Washington, DC. An assistant chief was one of the first on the scene, within seven or eight minutes. Firefighters from nine other local companies also came to the crash site.

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New York City fire fighters donated a memorial made from a steel cross from the World Trade Center and mounted atop a platform shaped like the Pentagon. Hundreds of firefighters riding motorcycles escorted the beams from New York City to Shanksville. It was installed outside the firehouse on August 25, 2008.

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Artistic Good News, and Bad News

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.

“I’ve got good news and bad news,” the owner replied.

“Give me the good news first,” the artist demanded.

“The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed, “What could possibly be the bad news?”

“Well,” the gallery owner replied, “I have a buddy who’s a private investigator, and I had him look into the guy.”

“And…?” the artist says.

“He’s your doctor.”

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Milwaukee Fire Department laid out 343 sets of fire gear
representing every single firefighter lost on 9/11.

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Pretty sure most Dad’s have done more than a few of these too! 1,3,4,9,15,16,17,18 & 19 all seem likely candidates for Dads.

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The Fall Foliage Prediction Map 2015 Edition

If you are a fan of Fall like myself, then this predictive fall foliage map via SmokyMountains.com will come in handy. The map “uses an algorithm to predict when leaves will peak in each area of the country,” according to Wes Melton, an engineer who worked on the map.

Factors such as temperature, the amount of sunlight, precipitation and moisture in the soil all affect how quickly the foliage will change.

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http://smokymountains.com/fall-foliage-map/

 

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The Islamic State might want to sit up and take note of this fact. Use a Ouija Board, consult a goat’s entrails, bang your heads against your pray rugs until you’re cross eyed and see if you can get through to Bin Laden or Hedeki Tojo in hell. See if either still thinks attacking the US was such a smart thing to do.

September 11th Organizations

http://www.survivorsnet.org/resources_other.html

imageThe Cantor Fitzgerald Relief Fund (www.cantorrelief.com) was established on September 14, 2001 as a result of the tragedy at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. The goal of the fund is to provide direct assistance to those who lost loved ones in the tragedy. 100% of the money donated to the Cantor Fitzgerald Relief Fund is disbursed directly to the families and loved ones.

Since its establishment, Cantor Fitzgerald and the Cantor Fitzgerald Relief Fund have provided approximately $120 million in financial support for the families and loved ones of the 658 victims. Please consider making a donation to help assist the over 800 families and 950 children from 12 companies, who receive support from the Cantor Fitzgerald Relief Fund.

Families of September 11th logoFamilies of September 11 (www.familiesofseptember11.org) was founded by families of those who died in the September 11 terrorist attacks. Membership is open to the families of victims of 9/11 and the related anthrax attacks as well as surviving victims. Other families affected by related acts of terrorism, as well as survivors, witnesses and others interested in advancing FOS11’s goals may join as associate members. We promote the interests of the victims’ families, particularly extended and geographically isolated family members, who may need counseling, information, connection, or other services. They also support public policies that focus on prevention of and response to terrorism and advocate for public awareness of the effects of public trauma on victims, their families, citizens and especially our children.

Hold The Door (http://www.holdthedoor.com/) creates communities around the globe that possesses the heart, compassion, and strength we felt immediately following September 11th. We are determined to inspire everyday heroes and teach people that staying connected and helping others will help them heal and grow through any loss.

September 11th Families Association logoSeptember 11th Families Association (http://www.911families.org/index.html) supports victims of terrorism through communication, representation and peer support. Our mission is to unite the September 11th community, present evolving issues, and share resources for long-term recovery. Last year, this organization opened The Tribute WTC Visitor Center is a visitor and learning center that is opening September 2006. Located at 120 Liberty Street in New York across the street from the World Trade Center site, Tribute is a place where visitors can learn about the events of February 26, 1993 and September 11, 2001. Through the voices of many individuals in the exhibitions and programs, Tribute will inform, educate and provide a place for reflection. Their funding goes to support initiatives, programs and surveys connected with its mission and goals and especially to support their expanding web outreach to members in 47 states and 12 countries.

Sptember's Mission logoSeptember’s Mission (www.septembersmission.org). September’s Mission is a nationally recognized nonprofit organization devoted to building a positive and meaningful legacy out of the events surrounding 9/11. In January 2004, September’s Mission received the support of New York Governor George Pataki and the LMDC for the 9/11 Campaign.

The 9/11 Campaign is a grassroots fundraising effort started by September’s Mission and the victims’ families who are committed to the future memorial at the World Trade Center site. Money raised through the Campaign will support an endowment fund; the purpose of which is to support educational and cultural programming at the future memorial. The beauty of an endowment fund is it provides stabile annual funding for programs through the interest generated on the principal donations. This means that long after we’re gone, a stable source of funding will be in place to fund educational and cultural programs. The Living Memorial – a project of September’s Mission in partnership with Pace University and the New York State Museum that was recently funded by the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation is an example of the types of projects and programs the 9/11 Campaign endowment fund can support. It is a first of its kind Internet-based project that will create a new paradigm for documenting and providing resources for interpreting history; reaching and teaching audiences of all ages around the world; and a critical way to promote healing with the families in the years it will take until the memorial is built and open to the public.

Skyscraper Safety Campaign logoThe Skyscraper Safety Campaign (http://www.skyscrapersafety.org/) was created by the Regenhard Family in memory of Christian Michael Otto Regenhard, a 28 year old Probationary Firefighter who remains missing at the WTC, along with his entire Engine Company 279, to this date. Originally conceived as “Parents of Probies”, to represent the 17 Probationary Firefighters lost at the WTC, the organization quickly expanded to include the families of all Firefighters, Emergency Workers, and civilian victims of 9/11. Co-Chairperson Monica Gabrielle lost her husband Richard, who was an employee of Aon Corp., WTC2/103 floor. He was last seen alive, waiting to be rescued, on the 78th Floor of Tower 2. He has not been recovered.

Tuesday's Children logoTuesday’s Children (www.tuesdayschildren.org). To lose a parent under any circumstance is truly tragic. For the children of September 11th, the sudden and violent nature of their loss has become the overwhelming and defining characteristic of their lives. Tuesday’s Children, a nonprofit family service organization founded by family and friends of September 11th victims, has made a long-term commitment to safeguard the health, happiness and future of both individual and family. With a focus on family resiliency and strength through community, Tuesday’s Children, in partnership with recognized leaders in the fields of child development, family advocacy and mentoring initiatives, has developed an innovative platform of programs designed to address the ongoing needs of thousands of children coping with the worst tragedy in the history of our nation.

Voices of September 11th logoThe Voices of September 11th (www.voicesofsept11.org/) was founded in October 2001 to provide resources, support and information to all those affected by the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The organization provides a wide-range of community-based services, programs and special events including support groups, lectures and forums. Voices acts as a clearinghouse by distributing 9/11 related information through the Voices Web site, newsletters, and mailings.

Voices advocates on behalf of all those affected by 9/11 with local, state and national organizations on a variety of 9/11 issues, including the development of the Memorial at the World Trade Center, the Victims’ Compensation Fund, promoting local and national preparedness and enhancing national security. Voices is also engaged with several leading 9/11 organizations including: The Family Advisory Committee for the Lower Manhattan Development Corp., Columbia University’s WTC Evacuation Study, the Family Steering Committee for the 9/11 Independent Commission and the Coalition of 9/11 Families, among others. Voices is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization serving over 4,000 members across the United States and around the world.

http://www.wtcufg.org/images/t2_side_logo.gifWTC United Family Group (http://www.wtcufg.org/) Founded in September 2001, the World Trade Center United Family Group, also known as the September 11th Education Trust, is a nonprofit organization comprised of September 11th families, survivors, rescue workers, and others impacted by the tragedy from throughout the United States.  Our organization, built on the principles of trust and shared experience, will meet the ongoing and evolving needs of the community.  Together, we will perpetuate the memory of the victims who were murdered on September 11, 2001, and harness the memory of that day and its aftermath to educate and inspire current and future generations. Our organization will serve as a living tribute. WTC United Family Group, through its programs and services, provides emotional support to individuals affected by the events of September 11, 2001, protects the legacy and memory of the victims of the attacks, ensures an authentic perpetuation of the historic events and promotes civic participation within our community and the general public. to the thousands of innocent men, women and children murdered on that historic day.

WTC Families for Proper Burial logoWTC Families for Proper Burial (http://www.wtcfamiliesforproperburial.com/) seeks to inform the general public of the injustice of leaving the ashen remains of those killed at the WTC in a garbage dump, the Fresh Kills landfill in Staten Island.The City of New York has taken the position that the ashen remains should not be removed from the landfill. The group includes 9/11 family members, friends, and concerned citizens from across the United States and abroad.

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Six Moments of Silence Are Part of the 9/11 Anniversary Commemoration.

Observe moments of silence
Observe a moment of silence on September 11 at any or all of the following times marking key moments on 9/11. As in years past, the moments below will be observed as part of the official 9/11 anniversary ceremony held at the World Trade Center for victims’ families.

Here is the list:

– 8:46 a.m. eastern time: Hijackers crash Flight 11 into the north tower.

– 9:03 a.m.: Hijackers crash United Airlines Flight 175 into the south tower.

– 9:37 a.m.: Hijackers crash American Airlines Flight 77 into the Pentagon.

– 9:59 a.m.: The south tower collapses.

– 10:03 a.m.: Passengers launch a counterattack on hijackers aboard United Airlines Flight 93. The hijackers crash the plane into an empty field near Shanksville, Pa.

– 10:28 a.m.: The north tower collapses.

PLEASE! Won’t you join me in taking just 6 minutes out of your day, one day out of the year to remember and honor all those whose lives this tragic event claimed? PLEASE?

BSM-2

Yup I’m at it again, this time the BS flag is on Impish & his feature Saturday about the couple with the safe in the floor. I’m not going to go too hard on him though, since not only is he gullible, not to smart and easily distracted from the facts by the thought of buried money, but the entire hoax was done by a hoax community acknowledge pair of Master Hoaxsters with a clear track record of successful epic hoaxes in their past.

A couple, a safe full of cash, new details revealed

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Pictured: John Resig, Annie Elias, and Chris Moeser.

I’d like to reveal the story about the young couple who discovered $50,000 in a kitchen safe was a hoax. Original story here.

It came to pass for a couple reasons. My brother Leo and I were known for pulling a few notable hoaxes once upon a time – The Donald Trump Tip Hoax, and HOPA Hoax: Girl Quits Her Job on Whiteboard. – After which the national media declared us incapable of pulling another one. They weren’t totally wrong, it’s been 5 years since I even attempted it.

Instead, we took what we learned about going viral and repurposed the technique to create theCHIVE’s flash charity model. Much more rewarding. Still, you never lose the itch.

Then there was some fortuitous construction at my new house. The previous owner had installed a safe in the wall and I wanted to throw it out. My general contractor said it was a nice safe and encouraged me to keep it. Sure why not. I asked him to hide it in the kitchen floor and I’ll keep my comic books in it. But once I saw it half-installed there a lightbulb flickered. The 8-year-old in me remembered watching Geraldo Rivera open Al Capone’s vault and wanted so badly for there to be something, anything, in that damn thing.

The details:

The Cash – My executive assistant, Annie Elias annoyed bank tellers across Austin for a few days looking for old $100 bills and both $2 and $5 Red Seal Notes. She did an amazing job. Behind the $100’s were just a lot of old $1 bills. Oldest trick in the book, I know, but still gets the job done.

The Bourbon – James E. Pepper bourbon fell on hard times and went out of business in 1958. My Uncle, Ed Logan, had purchased a bottle of the ’54 in the early 70’s. He gave it to me last year as a gift. Pepper’s history is fascinating. This is one of the last remaining bottles of that era in existence.

The Book – If you’re looking for rare oddities and antiques, I recommend Uncommon Objects on South Congress. We found the old photos of Vincent and the estate with that tree, as well as the flash cards and A Guide for the Perplexed at Uncommon Objects.

The Bingo Card – I just love playing Bingo and wanted an old Bingo card in the narrative somewhere.

I’ve had a blast watching the story circle the globe from AOL to Yahoo (8,000+ upvotes on reddit really did the trick) as well as reading the conspiracy theories that this might be a marketing campaign for James E. Pepper Bourbon or perhaps the Arizona Office of Tourism.

But it might be best to out this baby now to prevent treasure hunters from turning over Mesa, AZ, for a three-trunked tree that doesn’t exist. The Phoenix local news is even running stories.

It was unique little ruse and we had a lot of fun creating it. Back into hoax hibernation for another 5 years but not before finding a home for that cash – about $1,000 total, save for one $2 and $5 note, souvenirs for myself and Annie. Not exactly 50 grand but every little bit helps buy more dog and cat food at our favorite no-kill shelter, Austin Pets Alive.

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Was funny to see the volunteers’ faces when we started offloading the cash, I’m half convinced they thought Annie and I had emptied out a safe or something?

Anyway, they really appreciated it. Have a relaxing weekend, everybody!

KCCO,

John

Yup another in a long history of tall tales sold sincerely by a fellow Texan. With John’s ginger hair and penchant for drinking, tall tales and pub life despite his last name I suspect strongly he’s got some good Irish blood in him. Especially since he nearly took me in too.

Bullshit_Dock_Icon_by_XakorXD

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The ” M ” word…

by Jeff Foxworthy

The ” M ” word…
Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women , blacks/whites, etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims? Time to level the playing field and be politically correct by including the Muslims!

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

1.     If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim.

2.     If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.

3.     If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.

4.     If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.

5.     If you think vests come in two styles:  Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim

6.     If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.

7.     If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.

8.     If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.

9.     If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.

If you find this offensive and don’t forward it, you are part of the problem in America !

If you delete this you are, most likely a Muslim.

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The monument displayed in the above photographs, officially entitled “To the Struggle Against World Terrorism” (but also known as “The Memorial at Harbor View Park” or the “Tear Drop Memorial”), was dedicated at the northeast corner of Bayonne Peninsula in New Jersey on 11 September 2006, the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the United States.

The monument was the work of Russian artist Zurab Tsereteli, whose inspiration was described thusly in a brochure about the monument:

“To the Struggle Against World Terrorism” was conceived as the events of 9/11 unfolded and Russian artist Zurab Tsereteli walked the streets of Moscow. Struck by the outpouring of grief he observed, a memorial with an image of a tear formed in his mind. Shortly after the attacks, Tsereteli visited ground zero and looked to New Jersey’s waterfront for an appropriate site for a monument honoring victims of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks. Bayonne was a fitting location; the city was an arrival point for many New York City evacuees on 9/11, a staging area for rescuers, and offered a direct view of the Statue of Liberty and the former World Trade Center towers.
A gift from Tsereteli and the Russian people, the memorial is made of steel sheathed in bronze. Standing 100 feet high, its center contains a jagged tear. In it hangs a 40-foot stainless steel teardrop, representing sadness and grief over the loss of life, but also hope for a future free from terror. Etched in granite on an 11-sided base are the names of the nearly 3,000 killed in the 1993 World Trade Center bombings and terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.

Photographs of the monument’s construction (as well as the finished version of the memorial) can be viewed at the 911 Monument web site.

Firenado! 800,000 gallons of Jim Beam accidentally released into a Kentucky lake bursts into flames after being hit by lightning… before a tornado sucks the flaming liquid 100 feet up into the air

  • The freak weather destroyed a warehouse in Kentucky holding bourbon
  • The inflammable spirit flowed into a nearby creek towards a lake
  • A lightning strike then set fire to the bourbon on the lake’s surface
  • A small tornado sucked up the flaming liquid and set fire to nearby trees

A Jim Beam warehouse in Kentucky was struck by lightning releasing 800,000 gallons of bourbon into a nearby lake. Then, the lake was hit by a ‘firenado’ setting the inflammable liquid alight. 

The firenado was caused when a bolt of lighting hit the ground setting a fire which was in the path of a tornado, which sucked up the flames, creating a terrifying spiraling inferno. 

A video of the dramatic scenes has been viewed more than four million times on the internet.

 

According to The Weather Channel, a firenado can grow up to 100 feet tall. 

After the warehouse was damaged, the bourbon flowed into a nearby lake, which was then struck by lightening. 

A small tornado passed over the scene, sucking up the flaming spirit and spreading the fire further.

Despite being the victims of a lightning strike, Jim Beam are facing damages of $70,000 for polluting the nearby creek which led to major fish kills.

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Steve Buscemi has never been one of my favorite actors, and generally speaking any character he plays I want to end in as hideous a fashion as possible. However after researching this and finding it to be true I have a new found total respect for him just like I do  his fellow New Yorkers Denis Leary, Joe Mantegna, Gary Sinise. From now on like his acting or his characters or not I’m going to make a point of watching every movie he makes.

In 1976 Steve Buscemi took the FDNY civil service test when he was just 18 years old. In 1980 Steve Buscemi became a New York City Firefighter.
For four years, Buscemi served on one of FDNY’s busiest, Engine Co. 55 in Manhattan’s Little Italy. He later left the fire service to become a successful actor, writer and director.

After 9/11/2001… Brother Buscemi returned to FDNY Engine 55.
On September 12, 2001 and for several days following Brother Steve worked 12-hour shifts alongside other firefighters digging and sifting through the rubble from the World Trade Center looking for survivors.
Very few photographs and no interviews exist because he declined them.

He wasn’t there for the publicity.

In 2003 he also gave a speech at a union rally supporting higher wages for firefighters and to stop fire houses from closing. He got arrested along with other firefighters.

Also not very well known is that in 2012 Brother Buscemi showed up in Breezy Point, NY and quietly assisted in the clean-up efforts of the damage and mass destruction left by Super Storm Sandy.

Once a brother, always a brother!

Just so we’re clear… this guy is a Badass !!!

Tip of the helmet Brother Steve!

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Actor Steve Buscemi (pronounced “buss-ehm-ee”) has had a long and varied career in television and films since breaking into the acting business in the mid-1980’s, best known for playing darker roles such as Carl Showalter, one of the two kidnappers in the 1996 crime drama Fargo, Tony Blundetto, the cousin of mob boss Tony Soprano in the 2004 season of the HBO television series The Sopranos, and politician/gangster Enoch ‘Nucky’ Thompson in the current HBO series Boardwalk Empire.

Moreover, although he had long since left the FDNY and established himself as a leading actor by then, immediately after the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York in September 2001 Buscemi returned to Engine Co. 55 and spent several days working lengthy shifts with other FDNY firefighters (without publicity), helping to sift through the rubble of the destroyed World Trade Center:

The day after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, Steve Buscemi, who worked as a firefighter from 1980-1984, showed up at his old fire station, Engine Company No. 55 in the Little Italy section of New York.

For the next week he worked 12-hour shifts, digging through the rubble trying to find the bodies of missing firefighters, all the while refusing to do interviews or have his picture taken.

It was a privilege to be able to do it,” the 45-year-old actor said. “It was great to connect with the firehouse I used to work with and with some of the guys I worked alongside. And it was enormously helpful for me because while I was working, I didn’t really think about it as much, feel it as much.
“It wasn’t until I stopped that I really felt the full impact of what had happened. It would have been much harder for me to get through it if I hadn’t been able to do that.”

Steve for your continued loyalty and dedication to NYC, for your doing what was right and doing it solely for that reason I salute you.

Salute for Steve Buscemi

 

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  What?! WHO IN THE HELL GAVE GINNY’S SCANTILY CLAD BUTT NOT ONE BUT TWO MINI UZIS! IMPISH I SMELL YOU ALL OVER THIS I KNOW SHE HAS YOU WRAPPED AROUND HER LITTLE FINGER! THOSE THINGS BETTER BE AIRSOFT!

Anyway, moving oh whilst taking cover, I received a memo from Impish this past week, written on a napkin in some sort of red sauce apparently by a claw. I say red sauce because I wasn’t sure if it was BBQ, Chili, Salsa, Catsup, Pasta Sauce, or knowing Impish’s gastronomic leans, a mix of all the above.

It was pretty brief and to the point, though far from any pretension to eloquence, reading:

Hey Lethal!

Why you no give mention of fund raise drive us on last issue? Us need more funds pay mean WordPress.  We get hardly any peoples dis time yet. Make grouch growls like at me but at dem not me.

I.D.

So there I was about to be stuck writing a plea for donations, something I hate doing pretty much more than anything (save being forced to concede or agree with a liberal’s point). I was wondering how long I could get away with taking a play from Impish’s excuse book and saying it was due to my injured hand and would be at least another week when Friday brought me a copy editing folder. She said that Ginny had left it for Impish and I to look over. This highly unusual turn of events caused me to stop a moment and check the folder’s contents. At once with a just little Cut Copy & Paste plus a wee editorial commenting (seen in green) I had my way out of my predicament.

So here is Ginny’s version of the logic behind why you should donate to our current once yearly fund raising drive:

Impish Dragon and Lethal Leprechaun realized that they had never received any donations from the town’s second (let’s not forget I’m the most successful lawyer around here!) most successful lawyer. Diaman and Ginny in charge of yearly contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

 

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“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity or Dragon Laffs, the best and FREE e-zine published.  Wouldn’t you like to give a donation this year?

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the girls as reps  of Dragon Laffs mumbled, “Um … no.”

The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken girls began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The humiliated girls, completely beaten, said simply, “We had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut them off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to DRAGON LAFFS??” 

“Well” they responded, “you have such a sad family situation.  Dragon Laffs will bring laughs to you twice a week to help you deal with life’s hardships.  I’m sure you could

donate at least image or more for the joy they will bring you twice a week.  Not to mention full access to their Kingdom Fiefdom (or should that be Thiefdom? Either way we’re not kings as kings are rich and we are anything but!) and VIP treatment in all their weekly/special/holiday affairs.”

I see no reason to expound upon what Ginny has said other than to make one point she isn’t privy to. Namely the minimum acceptable participation level. We wound up having to go this route the last time and judging by the result of Impish’s pleading for two straight weeks we are going to have to do it again.

We’ve got 449 signed up subscribers according to the blog site. Just like last year I’m declaring the minimum acceptable participation level to be 5% of the membership, or 25 people.  We don’t require Vet’s, those living on fixed incomes, or who do to health care expenses can’t afford it to donate so I preapplied the same estimated credit we did to the numbers last time.  Out of 449 people out there I’m positive there are 25 that can spare a lousy buck to show their support.  It’s not about how much money we can raise. Yes, we have costs, in truth what we raise only partially covers those as we don’t factor in wear & tear on out personal equipment, personal time, any of the associated costs in maintaining our own internet connection to be able to post the issues or annual licensing fees for some of the software used.

It IS about participation and showing support, not being a ‘welfare’ entertainment source and knowing that our personal sacrifices of time effort and monies are appreciated enough by the readers that once a year a paltry 10% can be bothered to send us less than a cup of coffee ($1.00) to show their support. On a regular average only 15 of you, just 3% can even be induced to be bothered enough to click the star rating system for the issues regularly like we asked and that costs you nothing. Little things like that make us ask why we’re doing this and if its fair for the same same number of people to donate time after time (many of whom are of circumstances that give them a free pass according to our policies) while the rest of you freeload. For those loyal few we can easily make other arrangements.

So once again, I’m directing Impish to draw a line in the sand with his tail (ok it’s a fat tail and the line IS more of a trench but you get the idea). You’re reading these remarks on the 9th of September the fund raising is open until the 30th. As of Saturday the 5th we had 10 people donate, that’s roughly 1/4 of the way to the goal of 45 people. You’ve got 21 days remaining to get to the goal. Remember like I said its NOT about how much you send, we’ll be ecstatic to receive just a single dollar. It’s about a minimally acceptable to us level of membership participation. Many of you have stated you agree with the points of view we expound, so presumably that extends to the welfare state, well it’s time to prove it.

[Fat tail!!!!  I’ll have you know that my tail is very svelte!- I.D. 

Oh I agree completely, compared to Barney’s or Godzilla’s tail it is a (relatively) svelte tail. – L.L 

Can I hide in here with you? I think I might have accidentally given Ginny the wrong guns and now she thinks she’s a mafia gun moll! HEY! When diiiid yoooou geettt aaaa traappppdooorrr installlllle d???– I.D. ]

AHEM! Now I don’t want to be seen as making threats here about withdrawing my participation, us throwing in the towel entirely etc. etc., ad nauseum, ad infinitum. That’s not what this is about.  As I have said, its about  you showing your support for us and what we do, its about demonstrating to us our worth to you a single time in a year since the majority of you can’t be bothered enough to use the free star system on the site to show your support on a weekly basis. Frankly and bluntly folks, its about demonstrating to us we’re not wasting our time and yours with this blog that you are committed enough in your devotion to it to do this small thing for us.

If the minimum isn’t reached what then? I honestly do not know. Impish and I are in agreement not to have any sort of discussion about the outcome of this goal setting until the fat non anorexically tailed dragon has finished roaring out the tally. Frankly, I see no point in doing so because we were easily able to reach the goal last year and it has change by exactly a count of 2 this year so from where I sit there is no reason we cannot make it again this year.

You hear a hum followed by a click and then Lethal’s voice over the PA: “Attention Ginny the Jersey Gun Moll! Impish is hiding in the Editing Department!”

image

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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9 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 315 for Wednesday September 9th 2015

  1. Danny says:

    I always enjoy your stuff and thank you profusely. Good show.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Thanks for the kind words Danny we always appreciate them but a kind donation, even a single dollar would
      not only help us out but speak even louder!

  2. Paul K-9 says:

    I would like to thank you guys for the kind words for appreciation and let you know what a great job you did on the 9/11 issue. Your acknowledgement of Todd Beamer and the other heroes of flight “93” and the story on Actor Steve Buscemi were very well done.

  3. impishdragon says:

    Lethal,
    Wonderful issue. The topic was dutifully handled and well done. You brought a tear to my eye several times. Ginny and Paul, thank you so very much for your contributions to today’s issue. I would rate it as one of his best, ever.
    And I don’t even feel that bad about being proven bullshit on my last article. They got a lot of us, lol.
    Although that bus is a bit heavy. Can you, perhaps, just move it a little bit off of me?
    Impish

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Bus my green butt!

      I said I wasn’t going hard on you in my inital comments.Hell, I even warned you it was coming!
      Plus I even said that those who fell for it shouldn’t feel bad as the dude its not only a master
      hoaxster but a Texan. Texans are weaned on tall tales and I think there is a secret class all
      true Texans go to for training in telling them.

      In short you didn’t stand a chance dude, you were just fish in a pond named for P.T. Barnum.
      Since you’ve obvious forgotten what the bus feels like, I’m arranging one for next week.

      • impishdragon says:

        Ummm, no really. I take it back. No need to drag another whole big bus all the way out here just to prove a point. I’m good. Truly.

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Sorry Dude I tried to cancel but it was already too late.
        Hope you remember where you put that anti bus protective vest that was custom made for you

  4. lEAH d says:

    It’s disgustingly ironic that our answer to 9-11, has been a disaster because of the disruption of governing powers which gave rise to ISIS and others, which has created many refugees, which has flooded us and others with Muslims, many who are not really refugees, but members of ISIS being sent into other countries.
    75% of the current “refugees” are men of military age.
    IF all these countries and the US want to render aid, why are they assimilating them?
    I say here in the US, we should house them on abandon military bases, keep them until it is safe fr them to return again, then SHIP THEM BACK!

  5. Ginny says:

    Lethal, what an outstanding job you did with your issue today. REMEMBERING and NEVER FORGETTING is very special and personal to Paul and I. Our world as we knew it changed at 8:46 a.m. when the North Tower of The World Trade Center was attacked in an act of terrorism. So many innocent lives were lost, on that beautiful and crisp morning, on September 11, 2001. Honor and remember all that gave their life on this day and never forget.

    Nice picture of me as the GUN HOSTESS FROM NEW JERSEY! I will do “whatever” to get your attention and donation for the yearly drive of Dragon Laffs. Keep in mind that our donations not only keeps their blog free, it is your thank you to Impish and Lethal for the many hours devoted to their issues. So, PLEASE donate today and lets beat last years annual drive.

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