Good Morning Campers,

Quite the week I’ve had.  I’ve been busy every day.  Lots and lots of things are going on in the Dragon household.  I really, really hope that in my issue on Wednesday (yes, I’m doing the Wednesday issue this week, as Lethal told you last Wednesday) that I have a HUGE announcement to make.  But, I don’t want to announce early for fear of jinxing things. So, stay tuned!

Lethal Leprechaun will be doing a grand Independence Day Issue on Saturday.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait!  And then the Huge 4 day party!!!

AND!!!! The Grand Opening of the new recreation mountain!!  We’ve been talking about it for months!  It all started with Ginny’s affair with Santa and getting him to build us a very special pool…and it just took off from there.  You REALLY want to get invited to this party!  Of course, all our sponsors, those who’ve donated to the blog (even just a $1!) have a standing invitation.  Not only that, they will have use of the facilities any time they want.  Donation time (our annual begging for cash) is coming around soon.  Just think, you can get use of the recreational mountain, too.

Anyway, Lots of stuff for you to laugh at today, lots of things for you to ponder.  So, before we get too maudlin …

This one is from my dad….and it’s called “The Old Cowboy, When You’re Over Seventy, Who Gives A Crap!”  I think you’ll catch on pretty quick.

Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”

Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”

Cowboy: “Nah… She’s purty good lookin’…..”

When you are over seventy who gives a crap?

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,

“If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your

hair cut, you’d look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over

there instead of you.”

When you are over seventy who gives a crap?

***********

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess

what day a woman was born on just by feeling her boobs.

“Really” she said, “Go on then…try.”

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose

patience and said, “Come on, what day was I born?”

I said, “Yesterday.”

When you are over seventy who gives a crap?

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you are over seventy who gives a crap?

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing

on a table. I said, “Good legs.”

The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so.”

I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed

by now.”

When you are over seventy who gives a crap?

This is another one from my dad…it’s really good.  Read first then watch

 

 

As a special section for my Dad (Papa Dragon Most Senior) and all the others of you who participate in this despicable habit, I present to you….

Tune in next time for more fun!  Fun and chasing a little white ball around a countryside…sounds kind of oxymoronic to me, but what do dragons know from golf?

 

I now quote the sexy fairy who gave me this article, “I couldn’t take enough drugs to believe this one.”

 

 

When I was but a wee lad, I had a beautiful nurse maid who took care of me.  This is an artist’s rendition of that time, since there were no cameras back then.  (Yes, I am THAT old).  Honestly, this picture does not really do her justice, but you get the idea.

 

 

Chitty, Chitty – Bang, Bang is in her garage and she is very confused over what Mr. Blue just implied.  He was ready to say something important when we got interrupted.

“But, we don’t have much time.  As soon as that light turns red, our conversation is over and if I have to explain why I gave away secrets to my partner to Mr. Green, then I will do that, but you’re right.  As my partner you deserve to know the truth.  And the truth is that no, I’m not that stupid.  But it is a VERY good front and façade for people to think that I am.  I’m actually….” 

And then that “IT” guy walked in and he didn’t finish his thought.  He played it right cool though.  Very cool.  Too cool for who he is.  Or maybe it’s who he pretends to be.

And then not a minute after Impish left, “Mr. IT” makes some half-hearted excuse, after looking around and not really DOING anything, and then HE leaves.  I can’t figure out what’s…

Suddenly the small people door, as CB2 tended to think of it, opens and Mr. Green himself walks in.  This ought to be interesting, she thinks.

“Hrumph!  Ahem… Good Afternoon, Miss Bang.  And how are you this fine day?” Lethal Leprechaun, a.k.a. Mr. Green, enters her living space and settles himself down on her couch, all the while looking around her room surreptitiously.  She decides to call him right out on it.

“And a Good Afternoon to you too, Mr. Green.  Is this just a social call or is there something you need?  You seem to be looking about for something…”

Mr. Green seems to be a bit startled and taken aback as he answers, “No, no not at all.  Just a visit.  Checking up on the troops, as it were… so … well … how are you Miss Bang?”

“I’m quite well thank you. And yourself?”

Mr. Green stands up and begins moving around the room, picking up and examining some of the little knick-knacks that Chitty has picked up over the years, moving about the room in a distracted manner. “Well good.  Good.  Glad to hear it, I am.”

As Mr. Green’s wanderings become more focused, he seems to have completely tuned out CB2.  He picks up a little statue of the Eiffel Tower, turns it over and peers at the bottom and then shakes it while holding it close to his ear.

“Mr. Green?”

Startled, Mr. Green places the statue back in its place with a little thump, looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  He quickly moves back to the couch and sits down.

“Mr. Green, is there something wrong?  Is there something I can help you with?”

“Ahem.  Well, actually, there is something you can help me with, I think…”

After a long pause, that becomes almost uncomfortable in length, Chitty prods him, “And that is…?”

“Yes, quite.  I’m not sure exactly how to put this… did I just seem Mr. Blue leaving your home?”

“Well, I’m not sure how you could’ve seen him leaving since he left several minutes before you did, unless … Mr. Green, are you spying on me?!”

“No! Well…yes … in a manner of … what? No.  Not like what you’re implying…”

“Mr. Green, I can’t think of any other way you would have known he was here talking to me…”

“Miss Bang, you must understand that I have everyone’s security at risk here and it’s my responsibility-“

“To SPY ON US??!!”

“Chitty, it’s not like that at all.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that my quarters, my PERSONAL quarters, aren’t bugged.”

With a dead stare, Lethal looks at Chitty, Chitty – Bang, Bang and answers, “No ma’am.  You’re personal quarters are not bugged.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.  I’m sure you’ve had to learn to lie convincingly with your numerous professional dealings. But, I’ll not pursue it.  I do want you to be absolutely clear on this, that if I ever do find out you’ve lied to me about this or any other matter, it will be the end of our personal AND professional dealings.  And I like you, Lethal.  I really do.”  CB2 pauses and settles herself, the movements of the car coming across as quite human.  “Now, forgoing the matter of HOW you knew, my partner, Mr. Blue was lately present, what’s the problem?”

Mr. Blue pauses, then begins speaking, “To put it not too bluntly, I think there is something wrong with our dragon.”

 

Oh yes, the obligatory democrat bashing.  So sorry, I just can’t seem to help myself.

 

You know, it annoys the crap out of me when someone parks in a handicap parking spot that doesn’t deserve it.  Well, I guess if you do that in Brazil, things can happen.  Karma?  You tell me.

 

As a public service, I’ve added this posting.  Most of the people I eat seem to enjoy it though.

 

In the distant past, some of my relatives got regulated to not so impressive positions in the government and military fields.

 

 

 

I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to my husband’s channel surfing. He eventually settled on an R-rated movie in which the actress was soon topless. ‘Honey, change the channel,’ I said, shielding my son’s eyes. ‘He shouldn’t see this.’ ‘It’s okay.’ my husband replied. ‘He probably thinks it’s the Food Network.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Budweiser has the greatest commercials.  From the Clydesdales to this gem…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now this is technology at work for the good of us all.

Samsung attaches screen to semi-truck to show the road ahead

Getting stuck behind a slow, smelly semi-truck is no fun, but big vehicles are often too hard to pass on a narrow two-lane road. But Samsung just came up with a very clever solution to this problem.

The Argentinian arm of the South Korean tech giant is showing off what it calls a Safety Truck, a semi truck with a wireless camera mounted on the front, displaying the road ahead on a screen tacked on to the back of the truck. The move is a part of an effort to reduce head-on collisions from passing.

The front-mounted camera broadcasts its signal to four monitors on the back of the truck to give drivers behind the truck a good view ahead. In addition to making passing safer, Samsung says that this would let drivers see any obstacles in the road ahead, preventing the need for sudden emergency braking.

Samsung said the truck used for testing isn’t currently operational anymore, but it is working with government and non-government safety agencies to develop the tech further.

It seems like it would work well on two-lane roads, but it wouldn’t really have much use on multi-lane highways. The screen could also prove to be a distraction, and image quality issues could be a concern as well.

It’s an innovative approach to road safety, but Samsung hasn’t provided much of a timeline for its development, so who knows when, or even if it will be adopted.