Dragon Laffs #1418


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Good Morning Campers
Lots of good stuff in today’s issue.  Jam packed full.

I think everyone will find something to enjoy in today’s issue.

I don’t have a big lead in for today’s issue.  You could say that I’m still recovering from my New Years…you could say that I’m so busy on my time off that I’ve not the time that I want to put into this…you could also say that I’m just so knackered that I’ve not the mind to write coherently and put funny lines together.  You could say a lot of those things.  The fact is…there all mostly true.  LOL!

It’s been a GOOD holiday at the dragon household and I’m enjoying the hell out of myself.  So, I’m going to continue on in that vein for the next two days and get back to the grindstone on Monday.

Have a great weekend my friends.  Enjoy the issue.

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It’s winter time and it may not be snowing here in the corn fields of northern Indiana yet, I know it’s snowing somewhere out there for you guys…
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Or my father in Florida.  Whenever I talk to either one of them.  Talked to dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior, the other day, and he said it had gotten a little cold.  So cold, in fact, that he had to put a sweater on.  I asked him how cold it had gotten?
His response? “Geez!  All the way down to 70!”

 

This is pretty cool.  What happens when you step on lava…

 

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You know we love to give you “life hacks” and this is one of the coolest.  Did any of you out there know you could do this?  I sure didn’t!

 

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DNA for snowmen?

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mother’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa, I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not”… But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son
Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:
Dear son,  I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving MaMa

Don’t mess with MaMa!  Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we’re stupid.

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I really like this one for wallpaper on my computer.  Turns out really good.

 

Okay, this is a way cool article by our dear friend Kim Kommando.  Did you know that you might be changing your brain (and not necessarily for the better) by the use of touch screen technology?  Check it out!

Did you know that every time you use your smartphone you actually change your brain? A recent study by the University of Zurich in Switzerland shows that as technology has advanced, our brains have adapted to it.

If you use a smartphone or tablet, you probably have an enlarged somatosensory cortex. Scientists have found physical differences in the shape and function of brains that used touch screens.

Over a 10-day test, the Swiss team monitored 37 volunteers, 27 of them using smartphones and 11 of them using traditional phones with fixed buttons. “Writing in the journal Current Biology, the scientists said those who used smartphones had changed the way their thumbs and brains worked together, with a larger effect seen with those who had used their phones more.”

It turns out that using fixed buttons only requires simple hand movements, whereas smartphones require a more complex use of the fingers and thumbs.

Have you ever seen a teenager or young adult using a phone? More than likely, they predominantly use their thumbs to access anything on the screen. By contrast, older adults that have older model phones will be seen using their index finger to access anything on their phone.

The use of smartphones has actually caused an increase in plasticity in the somatosensory cortex of the brain. This is the part of the brain that registers the way touch is used in relation to the body. You can see it in the pinkish area at the top of the brain.

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“The part of the brain controlling the sense of touch in the thumbs and fingertips saw much more activity – increasing the connection between them and speeding up reaction time and sensitivity.”

A similar change is observed in musicians. However, this change is not necessarily for the better. Scientists have linked an elastic somatosensory cortex with chronic pain, spasms and movement disorders.

“Worryingly, there is some evidence linking excessive phone use with motor dysfunctions and pain. More research is still needed to unravel the consequences of the altered sensory processing linked to the use of touchscreen devices.”

I know many professional musicians, my own dear father included, who have hand pain.  It’s a new and exciting…and sometimes dangerous…world we live in.  And then there’s this guy…who’s just an idiot.

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Okay, how about another way cool article from Kim?  For those of us who’ve been space nuts for a long time and know that it is imperative for the species to eventually move off planet, here’s a really cool concept from NASA courtesy of Kim Kommando. 

You have to see NASA’s vision for a Cloud City on Venus
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It’s one of the most famous environments in all of Star Wars: Cloud City. That scene where we first meet Lando with the sunset in the background is a truly epic science fiction moment! If there’s one place in that galaxy far, far away I’d like to visit, it’s Cloud City.

Now NASA is making plans to build its own floating colony much closer: on Venus. We typically think of the planet Venus as an uninhabitable greenhouse wasteland complete with sulfuric acid storms and crushing atmospheric pressure. That’s all true, but above the clouds of deadly acid, it’s actually a balmy, earth-like planet.

In fact, Venus is often called our sister planet. It has a similar size and gravity, and even at altitude, the atmosphere is sufficient to shield humans from harmful solar radiation. It’s also much, much closer than Mars, which makes travel there far more feasible.

That’s why NASA’s proposed floating cloud base is such an exciting idea. Trying to land a spacecraft on the surface is ridiculously hard. But an airbase could hang permanently above and allow humans and robots to study the unique atmosphere in relative safety.

The project is called HAVOC, which stands for High Altitude Venus Operational Concept. CNN reports:

The HAVOC model involves placing the astronauts inside an ‘aeroshell’ that would enter the atmosphere at 4,500 miles per hour. Decelerating during its descent to just 450 meters per second and then deploying a parachute, the shell would fall away to reveal a folded airship. Robotic arms would unfurl the blimp which would be inflated with helium to allow the airship to float 30 miles above the planet’s fiery surface.

This is what the end result would look like:

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At this time, the mission is just a concept, and NASA has no plans to fund it. But one day, a Venus airbase could allow astronauts to settle there permanently. Here’s hoping! Maybe we can even get a lovable scoundrel to administrate the facility: is Lando Calrissian available?

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I’m not sure, but this could be Lethal’s personal assistant Friday…or maybe one of her sisters, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.  If I had to guess, I’d say she was directing clean up after the Christmas Party.  The red fire in the background is probably the disposal of all the gift wrap that was about waist deep on the premises.  What a party!

 

The Bugs Bunny Story

 

This one is from Kim Kommando and in her words…

FIVE MASSIVE JETLINERS FLY IN CRAZY TIGHT FORMATION

Jumbo jets are getting bigger and bigger. Good thing they’re also becoming more agile, too. The new Airbus A350-900 prototypes are the latest wide-body jetliners. The company decided to show them off with some old-fashioned military formation flying. You’ve got to see these epic aerial maneuvers.

 

Dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior, sent me this video that he got from his buddy Vito, another Floridian with the perfect explanation as to why they both moved down south….and watching this video, I can’t say as that I blame either one of them. 

I’ve been in a couple of those spots before with the ice and the sliding of the cars….not fun.  It sucks to crash at like 2 miles per hour and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it.  You actually feel like you have a enough time to jump out of the vehicle and run around the front and push the car to a stop.  LOL!  Not that I’ve ever tried it.

 

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There are so many explanations that could go along with this one….and they are all funny.

 

One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy. 

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out,  “Are you okay, what’s your name?”

“Its Jack , and I’m Okay thanks,” I replied.

“Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered,but I don’t think my wife would like it.” 

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted.

She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive…. I was weak.

“Well okay,” I finally agreed, and added, “but my wife.won’t like it.” 

After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be. really upset.” 

“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

“Under the cart!” I said….

 

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Jersey cats.  Guido will get Lebowski to talk, don’t you worry.

 

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That is, indeed, the normal compromise.  At least if you want to keep a happy relationship.

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I know a lot of people like this.

 

We are under a winter weather advisory while you are reading this.  Snow, sleet, freezing rain, the whole shebang!  As I’m writing this it hasn’t happened yet, do whether it turns out to be true or  not, we shall see.  But, this is what sparked my interest in this one.  What happens when you run a water sprinkler in minus 57 degree weather…

 

 

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Hard work

Hardware Specialist

harry potter

Has Anyone

 

Having it all

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Firefox?  Oh geez.  Even the motivationals are being groaners.

 

 

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Yeah, I know it’s an old sentiment, but true none-the-less.

 

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Said from Impish to Lethal just about every friggin’ day!

 

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Okay, this is just wrong on so many levels…You gotta admire the cat for hanging in there.

 

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Again, one of the things we like to do is to pass on to you the year in review that Word Press sends to us.  The report can be read here: https://dragonlaffs.com/2014/annual-report/
It’s actually quite interesting.

Enjoy yourselves.  Have a wonderful weekend, a wonderful week and a wonderful year.

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1418

  1. maggie culligan says:

    another excellent post,,, enjoy the rest of your holiday and have an absolutely fabulous year!!! keep it coming I enjoy every bit of it.

  2. Ginny says:

    Excellent issue to begin the new year. Not too much…not too little, as we all come back from the holidays. I’m enjoying and doing “NADA” all weekend, thinking about resolutions for 2015….how about you? Wishing everyone a Happy, Healthy New Year!

  3. Howard says:

    Great issue!! I shared some of the videos and stole, I mean borrowed, some of the pics…

    • impishdragon says:

      Thanks Howard and Henry for the nice comments. And Howard, just for the record, you are not guilty of theft as much as you are guilty of being in possession of stolen property. So, if you get caught…you and I don’t know each other.
      Cheers guys,
      Impish

  4. Henry says:

    GREAT POST to day, just GREAT jokes. Like having it all.

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