Dragon Laffs #1409


Welcome to a very special day in the mythos that Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs resides.  This is the day that the veil between the world that most people live in and the world of the Fae and the mythological is the thinnest. 

Today, all things are possible.  Today you can see ogres ordering coffee at your local Starbucks, fairies eating pizzaIMG_2446 in alleyways, giants  putting stars on top of Christmas trees (well, in department stores, since they are already pushing Christmas stuff) and dwarves with mining gear returning from work.  And no, for the record, they don’t sing “Hi-Ho!”

Most of DL&LL Electronic Media will be on hiatus since they can roam freely (pretty much) where and how they want.  24 hours of freedom.  If you ever wanted to spot a real dragon, today is the day to do it. 

Today, most magic will not work.  At least for the non-magical/mythical creatures.  Your human spell casters and magic weavers have no powers today.  The inherently magical, dragons and leprechauns and such, have additional powers that we only get once a year.

And it’s all saved up for the grand-damnedest party EVER.  The only way that humans can go to this party is for them to be escorted by one of the mythical.  And quite honestly, many of them never return.  They are swooned by the Fae, bedazzled by the little people or used as playthings of the super heroes.  Complete and utter debauchery is the main entrée for the evening and nothing is impossible.

As you can well imagine, myself and Lethal were going to invite Ginny and Diaman…seems that we were too late in the asking and missed out.  Diaman is believed to be being escorted by Thor and Ginny by The Dark One Himself.

So, rather than go stag, I’m sending out this notice that any of you fine ladies out there who would like to accompany me to this exclusive bit of lasciviousness please let me know as soon as possible by return email at impishdragon@impishdragon.com .  Please include pictures, resume and other pertinent information.

Last week, I took a little trip to Florida.   Left on Monday, returned on Tuesday.  Some of you may think that I didn’t have enough time to do anything with those kinds of time constraints, but the coolest part took place on the plane.  Tune into the Last Word today and you can see the whole story.

Don’t forget…tonight is Daylight savings time.  Not sure if we’re in savings or standard, but I do remember that spring ahead and fall back.  So, tonight we set our clocks back.  That’s an extra hour of sleep for yours truly since I’m working this weekend… AGAIN!

Here’s your reminder:



Let’s get right into this week’s Poll.  You’ll like this one…  But we’re going to need EVERYONE to play!  Otherwise we won’t get enough answers to make it worthwhile, so PLEASE try the poll.



This is a great one from Ginny:

Three Contractors Bid On The White House Fence

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.  “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000.  That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?

“The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan works.

Remember… Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.



Election day is just about here.  Vote

This Tuesday is it. 

It’s your chance to make a difference. 

Your chance to voice your opinion.

There is a lot at stake this election, even if it isn’t a presidential one.  There may not be a single person you want to vote for, but I’ll bet there are a lot you wish to vote against. 

BESIDES…you DO NOT have the right to bitch, if you DID NOT exercise your right to VOTE!!!



This is some really good reading.  Enjoy.


An amazing 2 letter English word.A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition.


Read until the end …..  you’ll laugh.

This two-letter word  in English has more meanings than any other  two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’  It is listed in  the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n]  or [v].

It’s easy to  understand UP, meaning toward the sky  or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in  the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why  does a topic come UP?  Why do we speak  UP, and why are the  officers UP for election and why is  it UP to  the secretary to write UP a  report?  We call UP our friends, brighten  UP a room, polish  UP  the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean  UP the kitchen.  We  lock UP the house and fix  UP the old  car.

At other times, this  little word has real special meaning.  People stir UP trouble, line  UP for tickets, work  UP an appetite, and think  UP excuses.

To be dressed is one  thing but to be dressed UP  is special.

And this  UP is confusing:  A  drain must be opened UP because it is stopped  UP.

We open  UP a store in the morning  but we close it UP at night.  We seem  to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable  about the proper uses of  UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.  In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes  UP almost  1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty  definitions.

If you are  UP to it,  you might try building UP a list of the many ways  UP  is  used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but  if you don’t give UP, you may wind  UP with a hundred or  more.

When it threatens to  rain, we say it is clouding UP.  When the sun  comes out, we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains,  the earth soaks it UP.  When it  does not rain for awhile, things dry  UP.  One could go on  and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time  is UP!

Oh . . . one more  thing:  What is the first thing you do in  the morning and the last thing you do at  night?



Did that one crack  you UP?

Don’t screw  UP.  Send this on to  everyone you look UP in your address book .  . .. or not . . . it’s UP to you.Now I’ll shut  UP!


dragon pic

DragonPapa1 (272)

Last year, I went out trick or treating as a black dragon.  I think I looked damn good!


Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking…

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. “Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

“First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.” And they did.


“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.” And they did.


“Now we eat everybody.” And they did.


When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?”


His wise father replied, “Because they taste better if you scare the shit out of them first!”









I would call this a dragon rant, or a mini rant, but the fact of the matter is, that I can’t find anything in this essay to disagree with.  It is excellent the way that it is.

Standards Must Be Maintained – Especially in the Military

A couple of days ago an article was posted by Aaron MacLean entitled “Pressure Grows for Marines to Lower Standards for Women“.

Naturally I was intrigued and concerned. Heck, anyone who understands the job of our military should be concerned by that headline. One doesn’t have to have served to get that the military has high standards for a reason.

The article has to do with the Marine IOC (Infantry Officer Course) and its initial CET (Combat Endurance Test). Actually the article has more to do with military being increasingly run as a social experiment rather than a fighting force.

MacLean reports the 24 women had attempted the CET and none made it all the way through.

The Marines, as are the other branches, are being pushed to introduce women into combat roles, so when three women (not part of the original 24) made it through the initial stage, the news was widely reported and heralded. Yet when all three of the women were dropped for not meeting later physical requirements, MacLean found but one report – the Christian Science Monitor.

The three women, as well as three men, failed on a 9 mile hike. They had, according to the Monitor report, three hours to move 9 miles caring 124 pound packs. After falling behind for a second time, they were out.

The military does not discriminate. If you can’t do the job – you’re out. It’s that simple.

But in today’s feminized society that’s not good enough. MacLean writes that groups from Washington are pressuring the Marines into lowering their standards.

imagesSound familiar? Over the years we’ve all heard reports of police and fire departments standards being lowered to recruit more women.

Within the military ranks, no one is complaining, or very few. It’s, as it always is, outside agitators, like the Service Women’s Action Network (SWAN) trying to stir things up.

MacLean adds that the SWAN activists’ complaints about the procedures of the school indicate that they are perfectly happy to alter and lower the quality of training to achieve their goal.

But this nonsense didn’t happen overnight. In fact in 1999 Phyllis Schlafly penned a column entitled, “The Feminization of the US Military“. She wrote: “For 25 years, the feminist have been demanding a gender-neutral military. What they really want is for feminists to give the orders, with the men cowed into submission, and Bill Clinton is helping them to pursue their goal.”

Is this next?

One example she cited was, “At Minot Air Force Base, N.D., the practice is to send two officers down to the base of the missile silo, where they spent 24 to 48 hours secluded in a space about the size of a school bus, with one bed and one bathroom behind a curtain. The Minot missile force has 250 men and 83 women, resulting in the high probability of mixed gender two-person crews. Lieut. Ryan Berry, a Catholic and married, objected to being so cozy for so long with a woman not his wife. He was punished by his commanding officer, who spouted the feminist mantra that ‘equal opportunity’ is the Air Force’s top priority.”

Really? That’s the mission? And here I thought it was to kill the enemy and break things. Guess I’d better get “in step”. Schlafly put it a bit more eloquently saying that, “The purpose of the military is to defend Americans against the bad guys of the world. The warrior culture, with tough, all-male training, is what attracts young men into the armed services and motivates them to sacrifice personal comfort and safety while serving their country in uniform.”

Her conclusion is even more applicable today than it was in 1999. “Most of this destructive social experimentation to create a gender-neutral military has been implemented, not by law, but by executive orders and regulations.” Sound familiar?

“We need a real man in the White House with the courage to stand up against the radical feminists. Which of our aspiring Commanders-in-Chief will promise to overturn the feminist agenda and rebuild our once great military into what it used to be: a fighting force that can defend America?”

I couldn’t have put it better myself and with the 2016 presidential election season beginning the day after the midterms, we should start asking our prospects now.

I’m going to let our own Former Marine (there are no ex-Marines!) Lethal Leprechaun to make comment on this article if he chooses.




You’re not going to believe this…I KNOW you’re not going to believe this, but I’m going to try anyway.  This is a picture from Halloween 2010…now granted, magic was used in the costuming, I believe you can even see evidence of that in the photograph above … but this is, from left to right, Impish Dragon and Lethal Leprechaun!  Yup, tis the honest truth I be telling you!

Wow.  Talk about a colossal explosion!  You gotta watch this one:



I’m trying to train my dog to perform this excellent trick:

Here’s my progress so far:

Okay, so I’ve really got my worked cut out for me.  I’ll be back in a minute, I’ve got to get her a beer.  Be right back.



My dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior, sent this to me, and I’m including it all, in total:


I have never heard this said as simply or as well.

Class war at its best.

The folks who are getting the free stuff don’t like the folks who are paying for the free stuff, because the folks who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff.

And the folks who are paying for the free stuff want the free stuff to stop.

And the folks who are getting the free stuff want even more Free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!

Now… The people who are forcing the people who pay for the free stuff have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff that the people who are PAYING for the
Free stuff
are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.

So… The people who are GETTING the free stuff have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the Free stuff by the people who are forcing some people to pay for their free stuff and giving them the free stuff in the first place.

We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting free stuff than paying for the Free stuff.

Now understand this.

All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded.

The reason?

The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them.

The United States officially became a Republic in1776, 236 years ago.

The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff.

Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it.

A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!
100% for PASSING
For all our sake
PLEASE Take a Stand!!!

: Closed!

: English only

: God, Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!

Drug Free
: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!

freebies to: Non-Citizens!













I’m not sure who’s cat this is, but it seems to me that he’s had some sort of contact with Lethal’s Ninja Kitties!


And I’m pretty sure that this cat has had some sort of contact with Impish Dragon’s Dog Baileigh!



And I’m 100% sure, that this dog has been trained extensively by the Izzy Dragon!



See Lethal!!! I’ve told you over and over that horses and dragons DON’T get along.  They are for eating, not for riding!!!


And that, dear campers, is the response I normally get from Lethal when I complain about anything like horses.


And this one is from my brother the Owl…






Good Guy

Good Intel



Amen!  I’m all for treating people with respect and treating them fairly, but why in the world are we trying to play nice with the people who are not only NOT interested in playing nice themselves, but are, instead, more interested in separating our heads from the rest of our bodies.

During an active shooter incident, you don’t try to treat the shooter nice or respectfully, you point a gun at him, you tell him to put his weapon down and when he does ANYTHING other than obey, you kill him.  Why is this so difficult to understand?

The problem is that our country is being led down a path that we, as a whole, don’t want it to go.  I don’t know of anyone who is actually working for a living, who is better off, safer or more comfortable than he was before the current administration took over.

Folks, Tuesday is your chance to take a step in the right direction and take back our beloved America.  Go out and vote.  It’s the very least you can do.









Okay, so like I told you in the opening, last week I had to make a short trip to Florida, from out little base here in Indiana.  Normally, commercial non-stop flights from Indianapolis to Tampa take 4.5 hours.  Add in the two hour driving time on our end and the one hour on the other end and your now looking at 7.5 hours.  Throw in AT LEAST 2 hours for red tape and your looking at around 10 hours travel time.  Enough time to get some sleep and be ready to return the next day…with nothing accomplished.

We, on the other hand, didn’t have to drive to Indianapolis, we climbed on a military aircraft right here on base and 4 hours later we were at our destination with plenty of time left to have the first of several meetings we flew down for.

Plus, we made a stop on the way.  No, we didn’t land anywhere, we stopped….well, slowed down some, for gas.  Oh, we didn’t get gas, we GAVE gas.  Check out these pictures!!!!!!


Yup, that’s a two-seater F-16 Thunderbird getting gas from one of our KC-135s.  I was back in the Boom Operator’s position and got some great pictures.  And no, before you ask, I was not passing gas.  There are three cushions back there side by side and the boomer controls the operations from the middle one.  The other two are for observers and instructors.

Here’s another shot:

One of those was from my digital camera and one from my phone.

Well, we had our meetings and the next day it was time to leave.  While we were meeting, our aircraft and crew were busy refueling a bunch of other aircraft, the last flight of which was delayed, so we actually waited in a bus on the tarmac for them to return.

Once it landed, we had to wait for our flying gas station to get more gas.

After that, they rolled up the stairs and it was time for us to leave


That was when the second coolest thing happened.  I was asked if I wanted to do the take off and the first part of the flight from the “jump seat”.  It is a little seat that sits right behind the pilots and in between.  That was just about as, if not more cooler than being in the boomer pod during a refuel.
This was my view


and just to show that I was indeed there, the guys graciously took a you were there photo for me.  That’s me in the middle.  The one with the really goofy grin on his face because he was back to being a 15 year-old kid who’s every dream had just been captured in a two day flight.


The cool thing was, I was hooked up to the communications system and could not only talk to the whole flight crew, but I could hear the radio traffic and everything else.  It was quite an experience.

And now, in a VERY small way, you guys got to share the experience with me.

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14 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1409

  1. mfsprague says:

    Poll #4, “In what branch of service did/do you serve?” isn’t designed properly. Instead of radial buttons (one or the other) it should have been check boxes (one or more). Some of us have served in more than one capacity. That would been interesting to note.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Impish was limited by what the host site allowed for sir.
      I too served in more than a single capacity as does Impish but we can only do as much as what WordPress and the host sites
      that we can find that are compatible with it allow us to do.

      One last important note- I fail to see your name on the donations list which means since you are not helping fund this
      blog and getting it for free you DO NOT get to criticize it. Just because we excused those who served doesn’t mean you get carte blanch to find fault with how we manage to get things done an a shoestring budget.

  2. paul says:

    GREAT ISSUE AS ALWAYS – aside to Ginny – also a great joke — BTW how’s my pic’s comming/?

  3. Danny Manger says:

    i posted one of your jokes on my Facebook wall and received this comment from a friend. Thought you’d enjoy it.

    Thanks again for all the good laffs.

    When I went in for surgery in Wa. State, a guy in scrubs who looked just like Uncle Fester came in and shaved my naughty bits. 10 min. later the doctor comes in asks who did that and why. They never did find the guy, He looked the “part”, but didn’t work there. He was, however, a singularly cheerful guy. I couldn’t help but laugh my hairless butt off.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      That’s why you should always hold out for a nurse to shave your naughty bits!
      Mystery woman shaving your junk a much better memory than some strange dude having done it.

      • impishdragon says:

        Dude, Danny NEVER said the comment was made by a guy!

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Ah! I see your point. However hairy butts are not USUALLY something women are afflicted with.
        Since the lack of hair in this area was specifically mentioned I took it as it had previously been hairy ergo male.
        Perhaps Danny will amplify on this for us.

  4. lethalleprechaun says:

    Thanks for putting me in the commentator’s spot light w/o so much as a heads up you flying sand bagger! You remember Paybacks (@ exorbitant interest rates)…yadda yadda yadda. Next time you go flying have them show you how the ejection seat works and the time AFTER that the parachute! I suggest doing it over the Everglades so the gators can cushion your landing too.

    As far as women in the military in combat roles. There are quite a few that go/fly in harms way. I seem to recall a Meg Ryan movie about a female para rescue chopper pilot who for a medal for what she died doing. Many are undertaking combat pilot roles. I seem to recall there being photos making the rounds of an all female KC-135 flight crew about 2 years ago. There are female troop commanders, base commanders, ship Captains and Generals.

    LtCol Sarah Deal Burrow, United States Marine Corps, became the first female Marine selected for Naval aviation training, and subsequently the Marine Corps’ first female aviator in 1993. Vernice Armour is a former United States Marine Corps officer who was the first African-American female naval aviator in the Marine Corps and the first African American female combat pilot in the U.S. Armed Forces. She flew the AH-1W SuperCobra attack helicopter in the 2003 invasion of Iraq and eventually served two tours in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Maj. Elizabeth Okoreeh-Baah, is the first female Marine V-22 Osprey tilt rotor pilot. Lt. Col. Jenifer Nothelfer, a CH-46E (twin rotor) helicopter pilot now in the Individual Ready Reserve. On 19 November 2010, Lt Col Ali “Rocky” Thompson made history by becoming the first woman Marine pilot to command a squadron. Lt Col Thompson, a CH-53E pilot, took command of HMH-464 on board MCAS New River, NC. Major Anne McClain was qualified in the OH-58D Kiowa Warrior in December of 2005 and graduated number one in her flight school class. She deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom in July 2007 and spent 15 months as a maintenance platoon leader and Squadron intelligence officer, flying 900 flight hours as pilot in command in the Kiowa Warrior.

    These were ALL jobs they were given the equal opportunity to qualify for, they were given the opportunity to show they could do the job equally well as those whom were already performing it by passing the same test(s) they did. I have no problem with these military personnel whatsoever, they have proven themselves and earned the right to their job and rank.

    What I DO have a problem with is when people try to tell me that ‘Equal Opportunity’ (the policy of treating employees and others without discrimination, especially on the basis of THEIR SEX, race, or age.) should be interpreted as affirmative action (an action or policy FAVORING those who tend to suffer from discrimination, especially in relation to employment or education; positive discrimination) with regard to gender in the military.

    IT IS A PURELY SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT WITH REGARD TO PHYSICALITY MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT CREATED EQUALLY. Yes you have those female steroid sucking body builders that might well be stronger than some men. Those women want to, enlist in the Corps, pass the Marine IOC (Infantry Officer Course) and its initial CET (Combat Endurance Test) and prove themselves capable of humping a 124# combat pack 9 miles in 3 hours then I have no problem with them joining a Marine combat team.. If they can’t then they got their shot, the same Equal Opportunity as the rest of the Marines.

    The key point being missed here is not about the fact that SWAN feels women are left out-trust me we fight on our soil against an invasion force I have full confidence every 3rd partisan is going to be a (as the same people who are whining about this would call them) ‘gun happy female’. The point is that passing this test on an EQUAL Opportunity under EQUAL CONDITIONS tells your team mates something extremely important to fellow Marines.

    Namely that you are worth and capable of being trusted with their lives and can be counted on under extreme conditions. If you can’t hump a 124# combat pack 9 miles in 3 hours can anyone you are teamed with count on you to carry, assist in carrying their wounded body to safety under hostile conditions? That level trust in an integral part of any Marine Combat team.

    Further if we apply the ‘Affirmative Action’ interpretation that SWAN demands to ‘Equal Opportunity’ by (in the example given) lightening their load to lets say 100# that means the other members of her 4 man fire team have to carry and extra 6# that she cannot or do without. That 24# is likely to be ammo, w/o ammo a fire team is combat ineffective or in other words DEAD MEAT. SO she’s endangering 3 other people lives to be there but the feminist are happy about her being there. Wonder if they will be equally as happy when she is responsible for the death of that entire fire team for not being able to carry her weight because she got there NOT through ‘Equal Opportunity” but rather though mislabeled ‘Affirmative Action’. Wonder if the feminists will step up and demand Equal Opportunity make those death notifications their mislabeled ‘Affirmative Action’ is responsible for?

    In summation, prove you belong where you are and have ALL the skills, AT A LEVEL EQUAL TO EVERYONE ELSE IN YOUR JOB, I have no problem with you, until you screw up or prove otherwise. Get there through the Liberal’s version of Equal Opportunity which is actually mislabeled and misplaced Affirmative Action then yes I have a HUGE problem with you and will do everything I possibly can to protect those in my command from the threat you pose to them.

  5. Deborah says:

    Very good issue, I enjoyed it!

  6. Ginny says:

    They have DUMP cakes. everything goes SOUP and now DRAGON LAFFS #1409, The issue was filled with a little of this and a little of that. Funny jokes and pictures, informative reminders to change our clocks and get out to vote on TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4TH. The closing of #1409 was truly awesome…what a way to go to Florida! Just one question….the guy in the middle wasn’t breating fire nor was he BLUE…who the hell is he? I must say he is CUTE….can I ride in his lap on the next trip?

  7. kevin says:

    great issue as always, loved the pics of the plane being refueled

  8. Okay, I have to chime in here. Having served in the USMC from 1976 – 1983 and having actually been responsible for the training at several different units, at several different levels, I think I have an exceptional grasp of the Marine Corps training requirements and the purposes they serve. I was the Training NCO at Battalion, Base, and Brigade levels. That being said, Here is my take on the idea of reducing the requirements in order for women to be able to pass them. First off; Training is conducted to ensure that an individual is not only proficient at a task, but also competent enough in order to successfully complete that task. Secondly; Pass/Fail standards are set in order to adequately evaluate those who have received the training and to eliminate those who fail to qualify. Lastly; the whole purpose of all this training, and the qualifications, is to ensure that our personnel are fully capable of performing their primary function of protecting our country and themselves! Lowering these standards, which the Marines keep high so that they remain the finest fighting force in the world, would only serve to enable improperly trained or unqualified individuals to fulfill roles to which they are incapable of successfully serving. Thus reducing the effectiveness of our forces and diminishing our ability to properly fulfill our missions. Doing so simply to allow women into these roles is an insult to our country, our military and our service members, both male and female. Besides, how can you demand equal treatment, yet expect that the standards be lowered in order for you to be able to be “equal’? To paraphrase another statement, “equal is, as equal does..” It’s a bad idea, in my book, and a true disservice to ourselves! Okay, end of rant… Thanks for the great work, and keep on keeping on!!

  9. maggie culligan says:

    as usual a great one,,, and love the picts and info about the trip,,, actually I’m jealous,have never been in the service but did spend some time in the Civil Air Patrol when I was young.

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