As you round the compound that is DL&LL Electronic Media Enterprises, you come across a brand new fence surrounding the campground area. Patrolling along the fence are all manner of dragons. Reds, greens, blues, silvers, golds, and some colors you’ve never seen before. There are big dragons, small dragons, dragons that fly and dragons that swim. As you approach the line forming at the only entrance to the campground, you see a smallish tough looking fairy standing at a large toadstool and checking each person in against a list she has on her cell phone.
Suddenly, the personnel gate transforms widens magically as a vehicle races through at top speed. It’s so fast you can’t really tell what it is, but you do hear the strains of Bad To The Bone playing very loudly. As it approaches the the campground it skids to a stop and Thor steps out first to hand out Diaman and Ginny. Ginny pokes her head back in the door and blows a kiss to the driver while Thor helps Diaman to her lounger. The muscle car spins in a donut and heads back out through the gate which quickly shrinks down to personnel size again.
As you enter the campground you can see a very special area set off to the side. It’s set up into two separate areas that look just like a comfortable den set out in the campground. You can see two very large red dragons watching the men in each of the two special areas. The men are all dressed in dark suits, white shirts, plain ties, wingtip shoes and sunglasses. They are being served coffee in very small cups by several punkish looking fairies that could be sisters to the one at the personnel gate. They are busy flitting around, serving, sitting on laps and smiling at everyone.
As everyone gets checked in and sits down, with coffee, pastries, breakfast sandwiches, or what ever they like for an early breakfast, there is a huge roar in the distance. You see a huge winged beast cross the sky in the early morning light. Another roar rips the air as a terrible gout of flame leaps from the monsters mouth lighting the surrounding countryside in it’s brilliance. An overwhelming fear permeates the campground and you feel like you should run, but you are too frozen in fear to move. As quickly as the feeling comes upon you, it’s gone. The monstrous creature disappears behind the tree line. After a lud thump, you can see a form approaching from the woods. You realize you recognize him as Impish approaches the slight rise in the campground where he normally starts things off.
Good Morning Campers
First of all, let me apologize for the confusion and extra security this morning. It seems some comments I made last week have ruffled some feathers and it’s time to set some records straight. But, more about that later. First, I’d like to make a couple of housekeeping type comments.
Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes to my littlest dragon, Izzy. She is now officially a teenager and the only babies I have left now to bounce on my knee are those of my grandchildren. Yes, dragons are very long lived and I have kids old enough to have kids as well as a little one of my own still at home. Now that she is a teenager, I’ll have to start teaching her about her dragon heritage and help her in her first changes.
See, something that isn’t very well known is that dragons usually have at least two different forms they can take. In my case it’s 3. There is the little blue guy that you are all used to seeing that I’m wearing now. This is my favorite form because it allows me to interact in the human world while still retaining my dragon magic and form. Dragons are VERY magical creatures…with very tough hides that protect us from almost every non-magical weapon imagined and most of the magical ones as well. There are some things that can do a lot of damage to us, that Lethal seems to have cornered the market on, but I’ll no go into that here, nor will I share my other magical abilities with you at this point, but I’m sure if you’ve been paying attention to the blog for any length of time, you probably have figured some of them out.
My second form is human and I’ll not show you that one, although Lethal did catch and show a picture of me in his last issue. I need to have one form that I can be anonymous in so as to interact without drawing attention to myself.
My third form is my true blue dragon form. You may have noticed my entrance earlier. I’m sorry if my inborn dragon fear frightened you. My entrance was not for you, but for our special guests who you see in the leather furniture over there. You see, when I expressed my opinion that New Jersey pizza was the best in the world, I suppose I may have been a little forceful in my opinion. It seems that the gentlemen over there, representing the families…I’m sorry … the pizza coalitions of Chicago and California took offence to ME expressing MY opinion in MY ezine. They actually threatened physical harm to me Impish laughs at this point in a deep friendly laugh and then wipes tears from his eyes. I’m sorry. As if the likes of them could hurt the likes of me in my full form.
Anyway, Lethal had to actually apply for and get granted Sellie Accord status to not only our buildings and properties, but all the surrounding land in order for them to behave themselves. This is now neutral ground and neither side can cause harm, intentional or accidental, while on these properties.
When the dragons who follow me found out about it, they insisted on coming to today’s presentation. The only way I could get them to promise not to cause trouble was to assign them duties. That is why there are four of them guarding the two groups and all the dragons patrolling the perimeter. These are my friends who feel they owe me enough good will that they wanted to be here.
You’ll also notice that the fairies are here, they too wanted to be here, but for different reasons. See, they heard that there was going to be pizza and they wanted in. I did promise them some pizza, but there is always enough of that around here to satisfy most everyone.
Lethal was a bit…reticent to accept my qualifications as a pizza expert. But, I will tell you that I’ve had pizza from east coast to west coast, north to south and all over the world. I’ve eaten German, Spanish, French, Italian and even Belgium pizza, as well as places I can’t even pronounce. But, he still believes that I don’t have the qualifications to make a decision. But, that’s alright, I’m a good guy. I’ll let you decide.
Okay, I really thought that I could add a poll here, but I guess I don’t know enough about wordpress to do that. So instead, you’ll have to use the comments section to cast your vote for the best pizza. Please let us know in the comments if you think that the best pizza comes from:
The East Coast (New Jersey type pizza)
The West Coast
Please feel free to expound on your choices and we’ll talk about the results next week.
You guys know that this is right up my alley. So, I couldn’t help but present this to you here:
I’m still laughing at these. They were great!
Didn’t I tell you how much dragons love to be read to? Daiman and I spending some time together.
Written by chuck on September 20, 2013 – 4:12 pm –
Watch it closely and pay attention to the end where there is a short pause, then 4 words. Listen for those words! It could not be put more bluntly! Be prepared!!
I’m tellin’ ya, it’s only 44 seconds – Priceless.
(A white guy could NOT say this.)
Impish Dragon walks back up to the microphone, taps it several times to get your attention and says, “I wish to make a quick announcement. We just learned that Lethal Leprechaun’s Law Offices of Dewy, Cheetum and Howe, have just acquired a new law office to add to the fold. Making his the 3rd largest legal conglomeration in the country. Congratulations Lethal. Can I get a round of applause for our dear friend?”
A loud applause ripples through the campground as one young pundit in the back yells out, “What kind of law office is it?”
“That’s a great questions…
Are there any other questions?”
Thanks to Dad for this one…
* Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Yeah, I believe about half of those….but I believe that the world is just crazy enough for them all to be true. So what does that make me?
Today’s Last Word is all in pictures. Yes, I know, but basically I’m just worn to out so I can be lazy. LOL!