You chat among yourselves, sip Lethal’s coffee and nosh pastries Impish has yet to discovered where borrowed were diverted from restocking his private stash. Gradually becoming aware of a strange sound approaching the auditorium. A steady low humming whirring noise draws closer but is in competition with the now familiar shuffling sound that heralds Impish’s approach punctuated with low voiced plaintive assertions and what might be Lethal’s voice responding abet sounding distance and some how oddly off.
The doors swing in and you see this electronic spectacle enter pause a second then spin on axis lean slightly forward and head towards Impish ramp to the stage. As this occurs you hear Lethal’s voice emanating from a speaker someplace on the electronic self locomoting oddity.
“According to you nothing is fair unless it gets you your way. I’m on VACATION Impish, my first in the 6 years I’ve been running this company you wing off at a moments notice- some provided post departure I might add to your conferences, seminars, symposiums and lord only knows what else well I saw an open window in the schedule and I got to it first. THAT is what is really behind all this incessant whining and insisting on known where I am and what my itinerary is. Your just mad that I won’t let you freeload on MY vacation and stuck you with the office for once! Now pipe down I have an intro to do so I can get back to enjoying this sunset and scenery”
Good morning folks! I’d like to introduce you to my new telepresence avatar I’ve dubbed iLethal. Telepresence refers to a set of technologies which allow a person to feel as if they were present, to give the appearance of being present, or to have an effect, via telerobotics, at a place other than their true location. This will allow me to extend my vacation almost up until I have to return for the start of the fall school semester starts. (In case I haven’t mentioned it in addition to work at my business I’m going back to school and will be taking a full academic course load as an online student starting August 15th assuming my funding comes through) Normally instead of the image you see now you’d see my face and be able to read my facial expressions but since the island I’m currently on is somewhat hedoni8stic in nature and sport a high percentage of nudist and clothing optional beaches I’ve elected not to engage the camera on my end,however rest assured that I can see all of you. In proof I direct you attention to the entertaining site of Impish choking on a dozen donuts box and all while beating his head against the floor ever since he just found out I was on a hedonistic practically all nude island he knows not where.
Anyhow please avoid the growing puddle of dragon bodily fluids, iLethal has already texted maintenance for several bags of Speedi Dry which should arrive shortly.
One last thing before we get started, there in place of the usual Parting Shot this week there are two very important announcements so please be sure to read all the way to the end I know you’ll feel very bad about missing either of them as they are both very important and worthy of your noting.
[You hear several sultry voices and an indecent squeal of half hearted feminine protest in the background. This causes Impish to groan and commence banging his head harder]
Well folks as I’m sure you heard the evening’s festivities director and her 5 lovely assistants [Impish grabs a chair out from under someone and commences to beat himself in the head with it] have arrived so I have to be going. Don’t worry about Impish I anticipated something like this might happen, not only is his Veterinary Doctor on the way but the custard in those Chocolate Covered Bavarian Cream Filled Donuts he scarfed was very heavily laced with an extremely effective Dragon sedative which should be taking hold very shortly.
Retirement The longer you’ve been together, the funnier this becomes!
An elderly couple was at home watching TV.
Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.
Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake Phil, Leave it on the porn channel. You know how to fish!”
I Bet you didn’t see that coming
SPEAKING of being so dumb …nah never mind. That one’s just too easy even if I AM on vacation.
OH MAN! I’ll need a whole forest of these pads with Impish!
I bet you didn’t know this about Christie and Obama:
Many thought that Gov. Chris Christie and President Obama seemed overly
friendly during the president’s tour of damage done by Superstorm Sandy.
Turns out Pres. Obama and Chris Christie were childhood friends!
Well once again my attempt at getting you people to respond and comment/participate in response to something has failed. I can’t tell if the game is too hard or the majority of you are just that sodden lazy and unmotivated. “Sister Mary Stigmata of Our Lady of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage” got mentioned for 3 issues straight both my myself and Impish but nobody commented with the source of this movie reference …AGAIN.
Now granted the character’s correct name might have been slightly obscure to all but devoted fans of the movie but I even gave you hits by dropping her nickname which she was probably more familiarly known by to anyone who saw either of the 2 movies she played a supporting role in, ‘The Penguin’. Impish please tail slap that wise guy who yelled out ‘Batman Returns’.
The correct answer was The Blues Brothers &/or Blues Brothers 2000
Bacon Cheeseburger Quesadillas
Try this creative way for serving a cheeseburger!
- 1/2 pound lean smoky bacon, chopped
- 1 1/2 pounds ground beef chuck
- Ketchup and mustard
- 4 10-inch flour tortillas
- 1 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
- Shredded lettuce
- Diced vine-ripe tomatoes
- Chopped pickles
Heat a large sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the chopped bacon and cook until crisp; remove to a paper towel-lined plate and pour off some of the bacon fat. To the same sauté pan, add the ground beef, breaking it up into small pieces. After the meat is browned, add the bacon back into the meat and stir in the ketchup and mustard.
Heat a nonstick griddle over medium heat. Meanwhile, build your quesadillas, starting with a tortilla, then adding a layer of shredded cheddar, a layer of the ground beef and bacon, another layer of cheese, then topping with a second flour tortilla. Place on the griddle for 5-10 minutes, or until the tortilla is golden brown and the cheese is melted.
Serve garnished with some lettuce, tomatoes and pickles.
Try it with loose Italian Sausage. Forgo the bacon, use pizza sauce in place of the Catsup & Mustard and shredded Pizza Cheese instead of cheddar.
Also they’re good for breakfast with the bacon mixed with scrambled eggs and used in place of the beef filling. Cut in wedges and provide cups of salsa for dipping.
Milk Chocolate Banana Pudding
Milk Chocolate Pastry Cream:
3 cups whole milk
3 ounces good-quality milk chocolate, finely chopped
1 -ounce unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped
6 large egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
12 ounces thin chocolate wafer cookies (recommended: Nabisco)
4 large bananas, peeled and sliced 1/4-inch thick
2 cups sweetened whipped cream
Milk chocolate shavings, for garnish
Place milk in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer. Whisk in both chocolates and heat until melted and smooth. Remove from the heat.
Whisk together the yolks, sugar, and cornstarch in a large bowl. Slowly whisk in the chocolate-milk mixture and then return the mixture to the saucepan over medium-high heat and whisk until thickened. Remove from the heat, stir in the vanilla, and transfer to a clean bowl. Place a piece of plastic wrap over the surface of the pastry cream and let cool to room temperature.
Spoon about 1 cup of the pastry cream into a 9 by 13-inch glass dish. Layer the cookies, bananas, and pastry cream in the bowl, ending with the pastry cream. Cover tightly and refrigerate until chilled, at least 4 hours or overnight. Just before serving, spread the whipped cream over the top of the pudding and sprinkle with the chocolate shavings.
Frozen Brownie Sundaes
Total Time: 7 hr 30 min
Prep: 25 min
Inactive: 6 hr 30 min
Cook: 35 min
Yield: 10 to 12 servings
Vegetable oil cooking spray
2 tablespoons water
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 3/4 cups brownie mix (recommended: Duncan Hines Dark Chocolate Fudge)
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 (1.4-ounce) milk chocolate-toffee candy bars, coarsely chopped (recommended: Heath or Skor)
Ice cream layer:
1 pint dulche de leche or caramel ice cream (recommended: Haagen-Dazs), softened
1/3 cup heavy whipping cream
1 3/4 cups milk chocolate chips
1 (12-ounce) bag frozen strawberries, thawed
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
Brownie layer: Put an oven rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spray an 8 by 8-inch glass baking pan with vegetable oil cooking spray. Line the pan with parchment paper, allowing 2 inches of paper to overhang the sides. Set aside. Spray the parchment paper with vegetable oil cooking spray.
In a large bowl mix together the water, oil and egg. Add the brownie mix and stir until blended. Stir in the chocolate chips and candy bar pieces. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, about 20 to 25 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven and cool the brownie layer completely in the pan, about 1 1/2 hours.
Ice cream layer: Using a spatula, spread the softened ice cream on top of the brownie layer and freeze until firm, about 4 hours or overnight.
Chocolate layer: In a small saucepan, heat the cream over medium-low heat until hot but not boiling. Remove the pan from the heat and add the chocolate chips. Stir until the chocolate has melted and the mixture is smooth. Using a spatula, spread the chocolate mixture over the ice cream layer. Freeze for at least 1 hour or until ready to serve.
Sauce: Put the strawberries, sugar and lemon juice in a blender and blend until smooth.
To serve: Remove the layers from the pan and peel away the parchment paper. Cut the layers into squares and drizzle with the strawberry sauce.
There goes another forest!
Live Salmon-Fishing Bear Cam!
Here’s something a little different, which should be good for most of July. It’s a live webcam of brown bears at Brooks Falls in Katmai National Park, Alaska. It’s currently the salmon fishing season so, during daylight hours, you should be able to see a few very patient bears waiting for a fish. Addictive viewing!
Just head to http://www.nps.gov/katm/photosmultimedia/brown-bear-salmon-cam-brooks-falls.htm in your web browser.
Damn! I need to buy this company! Otherwise I’ll go broke buying these pads!
Police: Robbery suspect loses ‘bet’ that victim doesn’t have a gun
Posted: Jun 20, 2014 7:37 AM CST Updated: Jun 22, 2014 11:25 AM CST Posted by Brad Conaway
JACKSON, MS (Mississippi News Now) –
A man with a gunshot wound was reported, Friday morning, at an apartment complex called the Pines on Watkins Drive; but he wasn’t shot there.
Jackson police say, shortly before that, a guest at a nearby Motel 6 had a run in with the man in the rear parking lot.
They say the guest was approached by a man asking for cigarettes.
The hotel guest said he didn’t have any cigarettes.
The man began to walk away, when , police say, he turned around and said “I bet you don’t have one of these”, pointing a gun in his direction.
The guest did have “one of these,” and began firing at the suspect. He reportedly hit the man at least once.
The shooting victim left and was later picked up by ambulance at the Pines apartments.
He was hospitalized, but is not being identified at this time.
Right now the man who shot him, a contractor from the coast working in Jackson, is not being charged. He was protected under Mississippi’s castle law.
The case will still be presented to the Hinds County Jury.
Actually because I publish on Wednesdays, this one is a day late, which compared the the next one is practically right on time! Late to post or not the wishes are none the less honest or heart felt for the delay. Please join me in wishing a…
and now a song about what Impish ahs learned about love and marriage these past 19 years married to Mrs. Dragon-
Now if I might I’d like to talk a minute about this fellow Impish Dragon
who conned a gullible fair maiden wooed a fine Irish woman with the strength of his character convincing her all those years ago to marry him. I poke fun at him, I make jokes at his expense, some might even say I bull or pick on Impish at times. Aside from his being such and easy target it being a guy thing for friends to rag on friend I do it to keep from thinking he’s a better man & friend than I. See I discovered something recently about the kind of man Impish really is, the sort that puts his friends before himself. About a month ago he successfully blindsided me with the 4th Anniversary of my involvement with DragonLaffs as a partner in publishing it before it even became the current blog.
Turns out in doing that it cost him a little something to do it. See I happened upon most of my first issues I had squirreled away. I was surprised to see that my 4th post was a Special Edition and opened it to see what it was about since it was in early June. Well it turns out that about 3 or 4 day after I started with DragonLaffs officially it was the 6th Anniversary of it’s inception. That means the Impish chose to celebrate my 4th Anniversary and ignore the rather more notable 10th Anniversary of DragonLaffs so as not to steal my thunder.
Lets hope we can double that number before we have to stop. Here’s to working on this another 10 years with you buddy!