Dragon Laffs #1392


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Good Morning Campers!  Well, the start of the weekend party was great!  The firework display was awesome.  It was indeed a grand first day.
How about Lethal’s Independence Day issue, yesterday?  Wasn’t that something?  Personally, I believe it was the best holiday issue he has ever presented us with.  Thank you my friend for your hard work and determination in presenting us with this great issue.  If you haven’t given it a star rating yet, go back right now and give it a rating. 

I’ll wait.

Whistling behind the podium. 

Pulls out cell phone and checks messages.

“Geez, who the heck is this Director Fury who keeps texting me?”

“Let’s see, yes to poker on Tuesday with the Latin Pantheon, Lucifer took too much of my gold last week.”

Puts phone away.  Okay, everybody back? 

Good, now where was I?

Oh yeah.  The weekend party.  I’d love to sit here and tell you all about it, but my guardian nun, Sister Mary Stigmata is going on break and she’s been keeping me from the more fun activities, plus I’m STARVING.  She won’t let me have more than thirds of ANYTHING!! Gosh! 

Anyway, I’ve got to take advantage of the situation when it presents itself.

So, ….

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We interrupt this Dragon Laffs issue for a special announcement…
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Reliable investigative sources in California say that radical Muslims are planning to go on a rampage in the City of Los Angeles, killing anyone who is a U.S. citizen.

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 9.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled e-zine…

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Okay, so that was pretty bad, I know.  I feel so ashamed.  ashamed2

Not only am I not sure WHY you’d want to do this, but I don’t even know that I have ever even considered doing this…but I guess somebody had to, so here you go.  What happens when you crack an egg underwater.

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DragonPapa1 (262)

 

As a sort of history buff, I found this behind the scenes video of the Alamo quite interesting.

Having been to the Alamo and walked the grounds, and having been to San Antonio and walked the River Walk, I have no doubt, that I will pick up a copy of this book and do the whole tour, the right way, the next time I’m there.

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Oh my goodness.  And I thought I was the only one who did stuff like that. 

 

Ten things you didn’t know about the internet.  Ten things I didn’t know about the internet.  Well, some of it I did know, and I’m betting that some of it you knew.  So maybe it should be ten things someone didn’t know about the internet.
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980

The times sure have changed!  At an incredible pace!

 

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Thanks to Chris Wallace for throwing the bullshit flag!

Chris Wallace Confronts Dem Congressman on Obama’s Executive Actions: Is He Rewriting The Law?

It astounds me how many people have drank this devil’s kool-aid!

Things got heated on “Fox News Sunday” when host Chris Wallace forcefully demanded answers on the questionable executive actions of President Barack Obama from California Democratic Rep. Xavier Becerra.

In a segment that also featured Republican Rep. Bob Goodlatte, Wallace discussed Speaker of the House John Boehner’s recent lawsuit against the Obama administration over the actions it has taken without congressional approval.

After listing off specific actions the administration has taken without Congress — including deferred deportations and raising the minimum wage for federal contractors — Wallace turned to Becerra and asked, “What is the president’s legal authority to take all of these unilateral actions without going back to Congress?”

The California lawmaker responded that all of these actions met with popular approval and the American public wanted to see these things happen. “The list you showed are all things the American public wants to see.”

Becerra then tried to explain how the president decided to take action since Congress wasn’t doing “its job.” This prompted the Fox host to cut him off before he finished his statement to state that the Constitution does not grant power based on popularity.

“The Constitution does not say ‘Hey if it’s popular, you can exceed your authority.’ It’s kind of irrelevant,” Wallace said over a razzled Becerra.

Becerra restored his composure and went on to focus on the issue of raising the minimum wage for federal contractors as a justifiable action for the president. This didn’t satisfy Wallace and he repeated his original question that he felt Becerra was sidestepping.

“What is his legal authority for taking this action without going back to Congress?” Wallace repeated.

“The president has the authority — as the executive — to implement the laws,” Becerra answered. “If there is a law that says that we will pay a federal contractor money, the president can say ‘OK, federal contractors, you can’t gouge your workers because you’re getting federal taxpayer money to do the work.”

Wallace quickly shot back “But is he implementing the law?”

“Absolutely, he’s implementing the law,” the California congressman responded.

“Or is he rewriting the law?” Wallace prodded.

“No, he’s not rewriting it because he is simply implementing it,” Becerra said.

 

 

Props to Chris!  We need to scream it from the roof tops!  If you don’t like what congress is doing, you can’t just do what you want to anyway!  That’s NOT the way a Republic works.  That’s the way a dictatorship works.  OPEN YOUR EYES!

Thanks to Ginny for sharing this.  I’ll let her tell you about it…

I watched this through some tears…SUPERB commercial!

 

Maybe the best commercial ever filmed and not a word is spoken..VERY SHORT Food City, a Food Chain, is located in the Southeast, headquartered in Bristol, TN.  This is a great commercial.

Not a word spoken, and none needed.  Very few commercials deserve to go viral.  This one does.

 

Take 1 minute to watch this very special video.

 

 

Those of you who know my Dad, aka Papa Dragon Most Senior is a musician of stellar quality.  I wish I had a copy of some of his music that I could share with you.  I’ll work on getting some.  I maybe able to do so before this issue goes to press.  Anyway, this is a video that Dad sent to me about a guy who made a clarinet out of a carrot.  And the big thing is how good is sounds.
Watch this:

It’s time for another golf joke.  We go out of our way to present these because we know so many of you out there are golfers…

Fred decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. 

 

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him. 

 

After a long period of silence she finally speaks.  “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your clubs.”

Fred gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

Fred Says, ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

“Ex wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”

”I wasn’t!“

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AHA!!!!  I actually found an old CD of one of my Dad’s many bands.  Put it into a video style and uploaded it to youtube!  I can now, quite proudly and with tears in my eyes, present to you, My Dad’s awesome talent…
Here is The Freestyle Band Playing the Basin Street Blues!

 

 

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4o

That’s got to be ice…and they had to have slid that in there…that’s all I got.  That’s all I can figure out.  You got something better?

 

4p

Okay, so this one has to be a back lot picture of the Godzilla movie.  No?  Tornado? 

 

4q

This one I got.  It’s a simple skateboarding accident.  It’s nothing more than a big skateboard anyway.

 

4r

Transformers!  More than meets the eye! Looks more like Transformer sex gone bad.

 

4s

Okay, you got me.  I have no idea how the hell this happened!!!!

 

Wheats

My buddy Wheats, I got one thing to say on this rant…. you NAILED IT!!!

Obama has shown nothing but disdain for our system.

 

“The Constitution is a document of negative rights”
(where the hell did that come from?)

 

Doesn’t like the construct of how it all works, checks and balances and….

AND…..

 

Even when he’s largely getting his way, as we Americans see it, he still whines and complains.

“I wish I could just wave a pen and make it happen, but we have this thing called congress”

 

One of his more revealing statements which uncovered his irritation (yet again) with the system.

 

His uptake seems to be that “correct” government is that one person, acting alone, on the behalf of a minority, that is, a small group of people that hold one particular view, should be able to upend and usurp the desires and needs of the majority in order to attain (ugh), dare I say it, “fairness”.

 

Hey, president pants-on-fire, life is not fair. Never has been, never will be. There is no government system that will make it that way but the representative republic is the closest thing we’ve come to. It’s not perfect. Nothing ever can be.

The PEOPLE are not a collection of bugs in a jar for you to take out your magnifying glass and roast them at will when one of them displeases you.

 

The PEOPLE are a collection of different attitudes, positions, experiences, knowledge, etc that, when put together for a common cause for everyone, wonderful things can happen.

 

I think we can agree on that.

 

Where we disagree, hugely I might add, is that you think to get there, the government must control the means of production, the availability of goods and services and the outcome of the production.

 

That’s called fascism, dear boy, look it up. It’s a close cousin to socialism and communism.

 

Doesn’t work.

 

Been tried and is in-progress to this day, failing.

 

See:

USSR
Cuba
Argentina
Vietnam
North Korea

and pretty much the rest of the world with minor exception.

 

Or, is it that you just like the mechanism to break the bank and empty the coffers to knock the US down a few notches?

 

Or is it a little of both because, well, I don’t think you’re all that clever, nor very bright. This cleverness and intelligence has been awarded to you by journalists whose main accomplishment is reading/writing formulaic crapola put out by the AP wire.

Seems odd that a collection of idiots such as that hold you in such high regard. Makes me also wonder about the value of the sheepskin I have on my own wall.

 

However, you’ve gone about your business and you feel pretty confident that they’ll keep covering for you. So go ahead, danger-boy…keep it up. And we’ll all watch and listen as it falls to sh*t at your feet, like the middle east is doing right now.

 

Like the immigration debacle is right now.

 

Like the VA scandal is right now

 

Like the IRS scandal is right now.

 

It’s all you, barry-me-boyo. If this is what you desired, which I think it is, then you’ve succeeded.

 

I believe you entered the office an angry, petulant little boy in a man’s body and said so in 2009. I believe your goal was to get away with the biggest political tantrum in this nation’s history and you’ve done it and are continuing to do it.

 

You want destruction. You want disaster. You want the world to feel the pain you have in not being able to have a father, the derision your peers gave you when you were a useless twig-boy smoking dope to escape from reality and you’re mad as hell and taking it out on the entire planet.

 

Your legacy will be that of the worst and most vile president this nation has ever had. History will not be kind to you. This is the justice which you seek, Mr Obama.

 

You earned it.

5i

Sadly, that’s so true in many neighborhoods.  You know the ones.  The ones where gun control is so strong and should be an example to the rest of the country…like Chicago, Washington D. C….

More bullshit from Chief of Staff, the head honcho, the man who can’t be touched…

Obama Mocks GOP: ‘So Sue Me’

President Barack Obama mocked what he described as a do-nothing Congress Tuesday, saying he won’t apologize for taking executive actions on political issues without the legislative branch  —  and defiantly daring them: “So sue me.”

“As long as they insist on taking no action whatsoever that will help anybody, I’m going to keep on taking actions on my own that can help the middle class, like the actions I’ve already taken to speed up construction projects and attract new manufacturing jobs and lift workers’ wages and help students pay off their student loans,” Obama told a Department of Transportation gathering on Washington’s Key Bridge. 
Don’t worry Mr. Obama.  They will sue you.  They’ll impeach you.  You will go down in history as the worst president of all time.
That is…

If there is any justice in the world.

I guess we’ll see.  For the rest of the article and the video, click the link below.

Read Latest Breaking News from Newsmax.com http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/obama-mocks-sue-me/2014/07/01/id/580385#ixzz36RWwgNC4 
Urgent: Should Obamacare Be Repealed?
 Vote Here Now!

 

Here’s a preview of one of the magicians we will be featuring at an upcoming picnic here at the DL&LL Electronic Media Resort and Office Complex.  And you don’t think we bring you quality entertainment?  You tell me, where’d the case of beer go?
It’s magic!

5a

The worst part is they are teaching their kid that it’s alright to steal.  Just not to get caught!  I hope she’s rotting her ass in jail!  and the kid is in child protective custody.

 

President Obama says we should create harmony by learning Arabic…

 

We might as well ALL get on the band wagon.

 

The current administration wants us to learn more about Muslims and accept them into our culture.

 

So, I’m making a sincere effort to learn to communicate with our Muslim friends and learn Arabic for the sake of ‘cultural diversity.’

 

This is my first attempt.

 

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And if you don’t think that’s funny or it’s not nice?
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Janitor or Millionaire
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Closer Than You Think!

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, “Well, then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly.

After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pick-up truck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned, “What, you don’t have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!”

After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, “Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!”

Moral of this story:

1. The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life.
2. If you don’t have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.
3. Since you got this story via e-mail, you’re probably closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire.
4. If you do have a computer and e-mail, you have already been taken to the cleaners by Microsoft.

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Talk about being a safe distance away…you’d think these guys were safe.

Almost too close!

 

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WTF

It’s gotta be because she doesn’t have a helmet.  Yeah, that’s it.

 

trips

tricks

Today

suspicion

Good Old American Management

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race.  Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready.

The Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss.  Morale sagged.  Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant’s finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had two people rowing and seven people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.  The cost of the study drove the project over budget, so the corporation laid off one of the rowers to make the project leaner, to increase the cost effectiveness of the project, and to illustrate to the stockholders that the corporation was willing to make tough corrective decisions. The management team asked the remaining rower to practice weekends and holidays to compensate.

As race day neared again the following year, the American team’s management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

On this race, the Japanese won by TWO miles!!

Humiliated, the American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

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Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

“Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son, but he was also the son of my wife’s daughter, which made him my wife’s grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

“This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife. I’m my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I’m my own grandfather!

“And you think you have family problems!”

I know this guy.  He’s actually a dragon in his “other” life and this kind of a situation is not that unusual in the long lived. 

 

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Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.  He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.  So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan. He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.  But he won’t say what it is, so he asks Father Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.

 

He leads Father Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.

 

“Well,” says the priest, “it’s pretty obvious.  Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top.”

 

“No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!” exclaimed Murphy.

 

“Oh my Lord,” says Father Flanagan, “dropped toast never falls with the butter side up.  It’s a miracle¦. Wait … it’s not for me to say it’s a miracle.  I’ll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he’ll have to deal with it.  He’ll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc.”

 

A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.  There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.

Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.

 

“It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy’s kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe.  Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle.  All other explanations must be ruled out. Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared ‘No Miracle’ because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!”

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Maybe people are beginning to listen!  Maybe it’s beginning to work.  I won’t say we’ve rounded a corner or anything, but it sure does make me feel good to read articles like this one:

Supreme Court: Obama Is Out of Order

The Supreme Court has wrapped up its 2013-2014 term by handing stinging defeats to the increasingly unpopular President Obama.

Doing its job for a change, the high court reined in the power of the Executive Branch of the federal government, striking down a forced unionization scheme, an abortifacient mandate, and improper recess appointments. The Court also rejected the Obama administration’s contention that police be allowed to search Americans’ cellphones without warrants.

In the nearly five and a half years Obama has been president, the Supreme Court has now ruled against the government 9-0 an astonishing 20 times, as Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) points out. George W. Bush and Bill Clinton lost on unanimous votes 15 times and 23 times, during their respective eight years in the Oval Office.

This means that as measured by judicial losses, the Obama administration is on track to surpass its two immediate predecessors.

“The importance of the unanimous cases is that you can’t say, ‘Well, there are five Republican appointees on the court and four Democrats,’” said Ilya Shapiro, a senior fellow in constitutional studies at the Cato Institute.

“These cases where they haven’t gotten the votes of either of the two Obama nominees means the arguments being presented by the Justice Department to the court are just out of left field,” he said.

Okay, so if he has been defeated 20 times, how the hell is he still getting away with as much as he is???  Okay, okay so I’ll choose to believe this is a good sign. 

5j

 

 

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Today’s Last Word is a video that seems appropriate to run today.  Some facts about the Declaration of Independence that you may not know.

I think that’s enough for one day and a really good way to end this issue that was more than full with a tiny bit of ranting.

May you have a peaceful and safe Independence Day Weekend.

cheers3

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