Yup its that time of year again, time for Spring cleaning. Yards, houses, cars, clothing basically nothing is immune from Spring Cleaning. Trash, recycling bins and compost piles capacities will be taxed for the next several weeks as that which collect over the winter is done away with.
For some of us that includes our computer systems and hard drives. Mine for example get cleaned out twice a year, old back ups discarded and new complete ones made. (Relax I back up the stuff which changes more often than that but even I can miss things).
Anyway, when it comes to my hard drive, I make an attempt to get out before I clean out and that brings us to todays issue as well as (with a few exceptions like May Day & Mothers Day etc.) the subject of the next month’s worth of issues. Namely getting all the stuff I’ve meant to use out before I delete it off my system. Just think of it as the virtual computer based idea of American Pickers with less traveling and better prices!
OK coffees and napkins at the ready here we go!
No lewd lines of rhyme from our Lady of the Limericks this week. Her Naughtiness has instead focused her Punny Powers upon the Squirrel.
There were five houses of religion in a small town:
The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church , the Methodist Church ,
the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.
Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
In the BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But — The Catholic Church came up with what was thought to be the best and most effective solution. They baptized and confirmed the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.
Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they quietly took one squirrel and had a short service with him called Bris, (in which his circumcision occurred) and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.
For all who appreciate the outdoors … the rarely photographed South Florida Squirrel.
Our Princess of Puns graces us further with this final piece of advice:
Life is too short for drama and petty things, laugh a lot, love truly and forgive quickly.
I FINALLY got this concept through Impish’s head just about 4 years ago now when he took me on as his Administrative wing man back in June of 2010.
I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built anywhere in the US (with the exception of w/in 1 mile of Ground Zero or any other 9/11 location). I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.
That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to every new mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, “The Turban Cowboy “, and the other a topless bar called “You Mecca Me Hot.”
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq o’ Ribs.”
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called, “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,” with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, “Koranal Knowledge,” its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called, “Morehammered.”
All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque siting issues would not be a problem for others.
Uhh…Impish the fonts blue so the door must be for you! I’ll go call you an ambulance and get the First Aid kit!
SCARCASM- Just one more service we offer here at DL/LL Electronic Media Enterprises!
Don’t worry Impish I won’t tell anyone that’s actually why you wear one of these, I’ll just swear its because of your job!
The Breast Fed Blues
Lyrics copyright by Lethal Leprechaun 2014 all rights reserved
Ain’t no boobies when she’s gone.
Now it’s Similac at least once a day.
Ain’t no boobies when she’s gone-
and she’s always gone to long
When Ma-ma takes my DD milk jugs away.
‘I can still taste his blood’: Ft. Hood survivor pens open letter about colleague whose sacrifice saved 14 comrades but then blames fact soldiers have to be unarmed on base for the shooting
- First Lieutenant Patrick Cook posted letter to Facebook which describes the heroism of Sgt. First class Daniel Ferguson
- Ferguson stopped shooter Spc. Ivan Lopez from entering room and shooting 14 soldiers
- Ferguson, 39, was fatally wounded barricading the doors – but held on until Lopez had left
- His colleagues tried to resuscitate him for 20-minutes – but to no avail
- Cook claims another tragedy will happen again if soldiers are banned from being armed on military bases
Tribute: First Lieutenant Patrick Cox (left) posted his open letter onto Facebook on Monday night in which he praised Sergeant First Class Daniel Ferguson (right) and was deeply critical of authorities who insist on keeping military bases weapons-free zones
In a powerful, open-letter a soldier whose life was saved by a brave colleague during the Fort Hood shooting has described the desperate attempts of his fellow brothers-in-arms to resuscitate him after he had been fatally wounded.
In the letter posted to Facebook, First Lieutenant Patrick Cook hails the ultimate sacrifice of Sgt. First Class Daniel Ferguson as he barricaded closed a door that wouldn’t lock – crucially keeping shooter Spc. Ivan Lopez outside.
In one horrific passage, Cook recalls how one week on he can still ‘taste the blood’ of Ferguson in his mouth only to then rage and demand the ‘God-given-right’ for soldiers to be armed on base to prevent another massacre happening again.
The gripping and tragic account of the 20 minute siege written by Cook, is one part tribute and one part judgment of gun-laws on military bases.
Cook describes how Ferguson, a 21-year Army veteran who had served in both Gulf Wars and Afghanistan rushed to the aid of his comrades as 34-year-old Lopez began to unleash his rampage on Fort Hood on Wednesday which left three dead and 16 injured.
The 39-year-old wedged himself up against an door that wouldn’t lock as Lopez tried to enter – saving his colleagues and Cook.
Outlining how he found himself ‘trapped in an enclosed room with fourteen of my fellow Soldiers, one of whom was barricading the door against a madman with a .45 pistol when he was fatally shot,’ Cook reveals Ferguson to be a hero.
‘Through what I can only describe as a miracle, he somehow found enough strength to continue pushing against that door until the shooter gave up and went elsewhere, at which time he collapsed,’ Cook wrote.
‘Nearly a week later, I can still taste his blood in my mouth from when I and my comrades breathed into his lungs for 20 long minutes while we waited for a response from the authorities.
‘This Soldier’s name was Sergeant First Class Daniel Ferguson, and his sacrifice loaned me the rest of my life to tell this story.’
Using the last of his strength to prevent Lopez from entering the room, Ferguson’s colleagues tried in vain to save him.
However, Cook uses his letter not to simply praise his fallen comrade but to call for the repeal of regulations that disarm military personnel on military bases.
‘But I write to you today not to memorialize this brave Soldier, nor to tell a war story about how we made the best of a losing situation, but to express the part of that story that some in high positions of power clearly do not want told: I knew this was going to happen,’ he wrote.
‘I had been saying for five years that Fort Hood was a tinderbox of another massacre waiting to happen.
‘It had to happen, because our betters failed to learn the obvious lesson of five years ago. Worse yet, I know it will happen again.
‘More will die, more will be wounded, more families will be torn apart, needlessly. It happened again, and will happen again, because Fort Hood is a gun free zone.’
Gun-free-zone: Spc. Ivan Lopez opened fire in the Fort Hood Army base area in central Texas on April 2, 2014 injuring 16 people and killing three before turning the gun on himself
Cook described the ‘utter helplessness’ he felt that night when he reached for his belt ‘for something that wasn’t there.’
‘As the shooter kicked at the door, I remember telling myself, ‘oh well, this is it.’ It is beneath human dignity to experience the utter helplessness I felt that day. I cannot abide the thought that anyone should ever feel that again,’ he said.
Cook also said that another massacre will happen if things are not addressed and do not change.
‘It happened again, and will happen again, because Fort Hood is a gun free zone,’ he said.
‘To those of you who hold elected office, if you hear nothing else I have told you, hear this: you have the power to stop the next massacre from happening.
‘You have an opportunity to restore the sacred Right to bear arms, which has been either stripped entirely or unjustly relegated to the poor substitute of a probationary, government-issued privilege. For God’s sake, do the right thing.’
The letter was read Monday at the Texas Senate committee on Constitutional Carry, Mr. Cook said on Facebook.
ONE SINGLE PERSON, just ONE in that room armed even with a strictly defensive short range fire arm such as the .410 shot shell firing Taurus Judge 5 round revolver [ http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=198&category=Revolver&breadcrumbseries=&search=Judge ] could have stopped that attacker cold and prevented the tragedy that occurred in that room and possibly prevented several other deaths.
Hell in all likelihood if the shooter knew prior to arriving on base that he was likely to face a cammo wall of armed and proficient shooters its doubtful even in his whacked out mind he’d think attempting it was a good idea.
Those 2 reasons right there are enough fore me to realize this policy is liberal bullshit designed to make the military easier to control and less likely to initiate a coup against an increasingly socialist government with no regard for the Constitution or the Bill of Rights.
Finally one last thought. Once again the adage has been proven, ‘When you outlaw guns only the outlaws will have guns’. The government stripped our military forces of the right to protect themselves on military bases. While its bad enough that in a post Sept 11th terrorist attacks on US soil world that this has not been readdressed what is even worse is that the Government once again has done things HALF ASSED. If you take away a persons right to protect themselves YOU become responsible for their protection!
Show me the metal detectors, pass though or otherwise this shooter was checked with prior to being allowed to enter the base. Show me the vehicle search for weapon or the check for firearms residue with a sniffer and then a search if it was positive. SHOW ME ANY, even the MOST BASIC attempt to keep these people safe from those who would chose to ignore this law!
ANYONE who would tell you that depriving people of their god given constitutionally assured right to self protect with their liberal ‘guns bad’ laws is not ONLY deluded and full of shit BUT OUTRIGHT LYING TO YOUR FACE AND CARES MORE FOR THEIR NOT FOUNDED IN REALITY BELIEF THAN YOUR SAFETY!