Dragon Laffs #1362


Dragon Laffs 33

Well, this whole issue was supposed to be a lot more indepth than it is, but after another visit to the hospital emergency room today, let’s just say that I’m too darn worn out to put any more effort into it.  So, no heavy thinking today, just laughter….sort of.

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One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there. He just doesn’t exist.
 

 

A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time! ).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No.
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school,
she must not have one!

 

3a

For any of you Star Trek fans out there, this ought to
Crack
You
Up!

 

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Here’s one you’ll get a kick out of…

 

 

3

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This is actually a video that is against the toys I used to play with…and still teach about, by the way.  But is shows some really cool stuff, if you are a war nut and explosives freak, which, aren’t we all?  LOL!

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A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to
go  to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his
problem.

The doctor said “When you feel you are ready to ejaculate​, try startling yourself.” That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol.

All excited to try this suggestion he ran home to his wife.
At home he found his wife in bed naked and waiting. As the two began they
found themselves in the 69 position. The man moments later felt the sudden urge  to ejaculate and fired off the starter pistol.

The next day the man went back to the doctor.

 
The doctor asked “How

did it go?”

 
The man answered “Not that well. When

​I ​ fired the pistol
​, my wife  shit in my face, bit my penis, and my neighbor came out of
the closet with his hands in the air.
​”​

From the Owl:

3c

Mike’s grandfather clock suddenly stopped working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop.
 
In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Mike, “Vat sims to be ze problem?”
 
Mike says, “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t go “tick-tock-tick-tock” anymore. Now it just goes “tick…tick…tick.”
 
The old man says, “Mmm-Hm!” and steps behind the counter, where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge set of brass knuckles and walks over the grandfather clock. He puts the knuckles on walks over to the clock, looking down closely and threateningly to the clock’s face.
 
Then he says in a menacing voice… “Ve haf vays of making you tock!”

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I love great art.  And one of my favorite artists is Norman Rockwell.  Many of his works are very well known.  But he also has some little known works.  This one is called “Cat Prevents House Fire”

3d

719

Those of us who spend time in a doctor’s office will understand.
Doesn’t it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here’s what happened to Kevin:
 
Kevin walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
Kevin said: ‘Shingles.’
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
 
Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Kevin what he had….
Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’
So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
 
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, ‘Shingles..’
So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram,
and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin
sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’
The doctor asked, ‘Where?’
 
Kevin said, ‘Outside on the truck.
 

​’​

Where do you want me to unload ’em?’

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note
PMS
single
staple guns

Last year I went to the Canary Islands and didn’t see one Canary.
 
Next week I’m going to the Virgin Islands.
 
   I can’t wait.

 

5a
baby Pic6k
6l
6m
6n
6o
710
711

720

721

722

 

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1362

  1. Danny Manger says:

    Thanks for all the good stuff. Hope you heal quickly.

  2. kris72663 says:

    As always, enjoyed this issue. Hope there will be no more trips to the emergency room. A happy & HEALTHY 2014 to you & yours.

  3. Hank says:

    Wishing you a speedy recovery

  4. The Retired Dingo says:

    Enjoyed the issue. Again wishing you speedy recovery and hopefully no more trips to the ER. I hope all is progressing well.

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