Leprechaun Laughs #224 for Wednesday Dec 18th 2013


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WOW! I told the Claus man I was short handed here and still semi under the weather when I saw him last week.  I confided in him that I was kind of worried about running the place single handed at Christmas with Wimpish uhhh that’s Gimpish I MEAN Impish down for the count.

Granted he’s not much of a help but he does excel at sleeping right in front of the main entrance to my office there by preventing people from bothering me when there is work to be done. Of course in truth he’s actually just hoping to be given the green light to eat the odd sales person that manages to make it that far or grab a fast unauthorized cuppa brown gold when I step out to the Little Leprechaun’s Loo.

At any rate it appears that Santa has sent me 10 of his finest Little Helpers to help me out until our Deadbeat Dragon gets back on his haunches. Heh heh he’s going to be so mad he missed them. He doesn’t know it yet but that robotic wheelchair I got him will not come up the the executive level or go anyplace near the kitchens either!

Speaking of Wimpish, no its Gimpish, I mean IMPISH– yes there will be an update on the flying gold brick’s condition a little later on.

Opening Logo 3

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How do you sing Handel’s Hallelujah chorus when you’ve taken a vow of silence? Hilariously! These creative high school students choreographed an amazing and funny version you just have to see.

 

TSA takes gun from a doll

TSA won’t let this sock monkey fly.

gun1

It turns out, the sock monkey known as “Rooster Monkburn” is a hardened criminal. That’s right; TSA confiscated this cowboy monkey’s pistol.

gun2

TSA policy prohibits realistic replicas of firearms in carry-on bags, therefore, a TSA agent decided that this gun – about the size of three quarters – was too realistic for flight.

What do you think?

funny-christmas-letter

funny-adult-christmas-cartoon

 

Angels We Have Heard On High – Pentatonix

 

 

Make Star Wars Snowflakes with Paper, Scissors, and the Force

Got some paper, a pair of scissors, and a desire to deck the halls with everything from Boba Fett to Tusken Raiders? Then do we have the perfect holiday craft project for you: Make Star Wars snowflakes. Graphic designer Anthony Herrera’s PDF patterns include Han Solo in Carbonite, Slave Leia, AT-ATs, and – naturally – Darth Vader.

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http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/12/star-wars-paper-snowflakes/?mbid=nl_wired_12102013

Winter Finally Arrives With Game of Thrones Paper Snowflakes

[Don’t worry George R. R. Martin has plans to kill them all off before spring!]

Star Wars snowflakes may be an impressive way to celebrate the holidays, but if you like your seasonal decor more fantasy than science fiction, graphic designer Krystal Higgins has you covered: She’s designed eight (relatively) easy-to-make paper snowflakes based on the sigils of the major houses in Game of Thrones.

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Higgins is a big Game of Thrones fan, but that’s not the only reason she zeroed in on the series for her snowflakes. “The sigil characters inspired me to get creative about how I could abstract animal shapes into a pattern, while still keeping them recognizable,” Higgins told WIRED. “The antlers on the stags, for example, were incredibly tricky, but also ended up looking incredibly cool as part of a whole snowflake. I wanted to create something that would look interesting to folks who don’t watch the show or read the books.”

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/12/game-of-thrones-snowflakes/

Lethal Libations

Christmas Coffee Cocktail

[Sorry about the lack of photo for this one but between Impish and I the samples didn’t last long enough to snap one!]

Ingredients:

4 oz strong coffee
1 1/2 oz amaretto liqueur
1 1/2 oz coffee liqueur
1 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 oz creme de cocoa
fresh whipped cream
grated chocolate, for garnish

Directions:

Combine strong coffee and liqueurs in a glass. Stir to combine and top with fresh whipped cream. Garnish with grated chocolate.

Serve warm or over ice.

With such a decadent drink one needs a comparable dessert!

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Orange Greek Yogurt Cheesecake

Prep Time 15 Minutes | Total Time 14:30 Hrs:Mins | Makes 16 servings

Crust

2 cups crushed graham crackers

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup chopped walnuts

1/2 cup butter, melted

Filling

2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened

1 cup sugar

2 tablespoons grated orange peel

1/4 teaspoon salt

4 eggs

2 containers (6 oz) Greek plain yogurt

Topping

3/4 cup whipping cream

  1. Heat oven to 325°F. Lightly grease 9-inch springform pan with shortening.
  2. In food processor, place crushed graham crackers, 1/4 cup sugar and the walnuts. Process with on-and-off pulses until well combined and all ingredients are fine. Add melted butter to food processor, pulse until well combined. Press mixture in bottom of pan.
  3. In large bowl, beat cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, orange peel and salt with electric mixer on medium speed about 1 minute or until smooth. On low speed, beat in eggs and yogurt until well blended. Pour into crust.
  4. Bake 1 hour 15 minutes (cheesecake may not appear done, but if small area in center seems soft, it will become firm as cheesecake cools. Do not insert knife to test for doneness because knife hole could cause cheesecake to crack.)
  5. Turn off oven; leave cheesecake in oven 30 minutes longer.
  6. Remove cheesecake from oven. Cool in pan on cooling rack away from drafts 30 minutes.
  7. Without releasing or removing side of pan, run metal spatula carefully around side of pan to loosen cheesecake. Refrigerate uncovered about 3 hours or until chilled.
  8. Cover cheesecake; continue refrigerating at least 9 hours but no longer than 48 hours.
  9. Run metal spatula around side of pan to loosen cheesecake again. Remove side of pan; leave cheesecake on pan bottom to serve.
  10. In chilled small bowl, beat whipping cream with electric mixer on high speed until stiff peaks form. Spread whipped cream over top of cheesecake. If desired, garnish with orange slices. Store covered in refrigerator.

Makes 16 servings

Maybe cheesecake is too heavy. How about a decadent cookie instead?

imageDouble Chocolate Cranberry Cookies

With a hint of cinnamon, Double Chocolate Cranberry Cookies are a combination of semisweet and unsweetened chocolate, and are filled with two kinds of nuts and dried cranberries. They don’t have a lot of flour in them, so they have a wonderfully moist texture on the inside.

The cinnamon adds an interesting flavor and because of it, the taste reminds me a little bit of chocolate rugelah, a traditional Jewish pastry.

If you like rich moist chocolate cookies, combined with a crunchy texture, then these cookies are for you.

Cook Time

Prep time: 20 min | Cook time: 15 min | Ready in: 35 min

Yields: Makes about 6 dozen

Ingredients

  • 8 tbs (1 stick) unsalted butter
  • 8 oz. semisweet chocolate squares
  • 3 oz. unsweetened chocolate squares
  • 2 cups walnuts, chopped
  • 2 cups pecans, chopped
  • 1 cup dried cranberries, cut in half
  • 2/3 cup flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar
  • 2 tsps vanilla
  • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

     

    Instructions

    1. In a large bowl, combine nuts, cranberries and chocolate chips. Set aside. In another bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Set aside.
    2. Using a double boiler, gently heat the semisweet and unsweetened chocolate squares until just melted. Stir constantly while melting. Set aside to cool, until just warm to the touch.
    3. Beat the eggs and sugar until bubbly. Then whisk in the cooled chocolate mixture and the vanilla.
    4. With the mixer on low, slowly add the flour mixture until well incorporated.
    5. Stir in the nut, cranberry and chocolate chip mixture by hand.
    6. Preheat your oven to 325°. Drop the dough, about the size of a tablespoon, onto parchment lined baking trays. They should be 1 to 2 inches apart. Bake for 15 minutes or until cookies are slightly firm and cracked.
    7. Cool on a wire rack.

    Note: These cookies don’t really rise or spread, so they can be placed fairly closely together on the baking tray.

    [You can’t serve just one kind of cookie now can you? OK its Christmas so here’s one more cookie recipe, a personal favorite of mine for afternoon tea.]

    image

    One batch makes approximately 9 dozen, so there is plenty for everyone, [even greedy Dragons.]

    Slightly reminiscent of ginger snaps, these cookies are not nearly as spicy. That is what I like most about them. Some ginger snap recipes are too strong for my taste, but not these. The orange adds a fresh twist, and the mix of spices doesn’t overwhelm.

    Delicious any time of year, and with a buttery crisp texture, these cookies are always requested, and they always make my annual Christmas cookie list.

    Cook Time

    Prep time: 10 hours | Cook time: 5 min | Ready in: 10 hours 5 min*

    Yields: 9 dozen cookies

    *Please note that this prep time includes refrigeration overnight.

    Ingredients

    • 1 cup butter, softened
    • 1 1/2 cups sugar
    • 1 egg
    • 2 tbs light corn syrup
    • 3 cups all-purpose flour
    • 2 tsp baking soda
    • 2 tsp cinnamon
    • 2 tsp ground ginger
    • 1/2 tsp ground cloves
    • 1 tbs orange zest

      Instructions

      1. Cream butter and add sugar slowly, beating until fluffy.
      2. While mixer is on, add the egg and corn syrup. Mix well.
      3. Meanwhile, combine flour, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon and cloves in a bowl and set aside.
      4. Gradually add the dry mixture to the wet ingredients until well blended. Add in the orange rind.
      5. The dough is ready to be shaped and refrigerated (see instructions below).
      6. After refrigerating dough overnight, bake slices on cookie sheets at 400° for 5 minutes. Keep an eye on them as they burn very quickly.

      4c02eeb5f394442c9cbae0510273d3fb

      The NSA is Coming to Town

       

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      I’d listen up when Impish talks about cheating and not fooling people with it kids! After all he is an expert on the subject with may years of experience at failing to pull the wool over my eyes!

      Christmas-Comic-025

      Impish dragon Report

      This Dragon update courtesy of Mrs. Dragon who begins by noting that once again her assassins failed and Impish still lives.

      I received a text on Monday at 1:40 Pm saying the operation had lasted 3 Hours & 45 minutes but that he was out and in recovery. She expected to be able to see him within a half an hour.

      Later that evening he texted me saying he was fine but tired.

      Texts on Tuesday revealed him to be in pain which his meds really were not addressing but decent spirits. I do have some concerns regarding brain damage from the anesthesia as he commented on a program he was watching on CSPAN. However this is Impish and he does some strange shit like that so this might be nothing I’ll keep close watch.

      Further updates as they develop or as soon as he drags himself before an internet capable device .

    • Christmas Ornament Trivia

      We are mesmerized by Christmas trees with their elaborate decorations and lights. Many cities have tree lighting events and festivals to officially kick off the holiday season. You can hear the ripple of admiration as the tree is lit and everyone claps with excitement at the magical sight.

      Stores display a plethora of tree ornaments that dazzle the eyes and warm the heart with their beauty. Specialty trinkets range anywhere from five dollars upward and special edition collections may equal the cost of a dinner out for most families. Still, it is one’s choice to display a tree that brings joy to their celebration, no matter the cost.

      Prior to 1605, decorated Christmas trees were mainly found outside the home in their natural setting. People used popcorn, fruit and nuts as accessories. The first known area to bring a tree indoors was Strasborg, France where homes used paper roses, candles, wafers, nuts and sweets to adorn the tree. As time passed, other items exhibited were eggshells, shiny metal foil and candy.

      The first glass ornaments were made in Germany in the 1880’s. In the US, F.W. Woolsworth latched on to this new concept and imported them by the millions. Reportedly, he made 25 million in sales by 1890. Later, the Japanese market manufactured decorations to become the highest importer with over 250 million ornaments sold in the states.

      Today, it is popular to create a theme such as angels, snowmen, birds, or whatever hobby or collection a person enjoys. Ornaments are much more intricate and can make sounds, light-up, and move to music.

      No matter what type of ornament you choose to decorate your tree, homemade or store bought, the purpose it to savor your time adorning the tree with valuable memories and add beauty to your home.

      Traditional and Novel Ornaments

      Have you ever used any of these to decorate your Christmas Tree?

      • Fruit
      • Nuts
      • Popcorn
      • Cookies
      • Candy Canes
      • Cranberries
      • Flowers
      • Pickles
      • Candles
      • Eggshells
      • Small toys
      • Wood carved figures or shapes

      Source: holidayspot.com

      Talking High Tech

      Xbox One prank wrecks brand new consoles

      Plenty of gamers are upset over the lack of backwards compatibility in the new Xbox One console. That means that old Xbox 360 and original Xbox games won’t work in the new system.

      That’s why they’re falling for this dangerous and expensive prank. It supposedly gives instructions for making your Xbox One backward compatible, but really makes your new Xbox completely worthless and non-functional. It may not even be able to be repaired.

      Here’s what the prank looks like:

      prank

      Just to be clear, the Xbox One is NOT backwards compatible and won’t ever be! This insidious prank deletes a critical system file and could trap your new console in an endless reboot cycle.

      If you know someone with an Xbox One, pass this along to them so they aren’t fooled.

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        The official video about Miniatur Wunderland Hamburg, the largest model railway in the world, and one of the most successful tourist attractions in Germany. On the 1.300 m² large layout, far more than a thousand trains, aircrafts, cars and ships move about. A wonder of the world in miniature.

      image

       

      The next 2 issues of Leprechaun Laughs fall on major Holidays, namely Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. While I might find the prospect of a 2 weeks hiatus quite appealing, I am cognizant of the fact that most likely Impish will not be up to his usual self both physically and mentally. Plus he should be up to his scaled bottom in torture physical therapy sessions and wheel chair racing.

      Obviously there will have to be a change in the publishing schedule to accommodate both the holidays and Impish’s situation.

      I can see no point in an issue on Christmas given nobody will have time to devote to reading it much less posting it.  As for New Year’s Day most of you will be too hung over to focus on a computer screen, too caught up in the Tournament of Roses Parade and/or the subsequent bowl games to much care about an issue.

      I know Impish has an issue already uploaded next Saturday, but the Saturday after Christmas remains up in the air based on his recuperation progress.

      My guess is for the holiday period you should expect intermittent Dragon status updates from one source or another perhaps sprinkled with a few comments & comic offerings.

       

    • About lethalleprechaun

      I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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      2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #224 for Wednesday Dec 18th 2013

      1. lethalleprechaun says:

        No word on any complaint from the mother Jack, however the Sock Monkey is claiming he was bribed with a banana to pose nude for inappropriate photos.

      2. Jack Daniels says:

        I’m sure the TSA perverts did a complete strip and cavity search of the mother of the child with the toy gun.

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