Leprechaun Laughs # 221 for Wednesday Nov 27th 2013


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Morning Folks! I know it’s the day before the big day and you’re all scurrying like mice to get things accomplished so lets get right to business shall we?

<Klaxon sounds followed by stern robotic sounding voice> Warning! This is a secure pantry! Step away from the Thanksgiving Goodies Impish! The use of Lethal’ s Force(s) has been authorized for this area. This is your only warning! Maintain 6 Dragon lengths minimum at all times!”

<Lethal quietly bangs his head on the podium and sighs deeply>

Please excuse the interruption folks, Impish the day before the traditional Thanksgiving Feast reminds me a lot like a three year old hyped on sugar from candy canes the on Christmas Eve.

No. Wait. SIGH! That’s Impish too, my bad.

<Klaxon sounds followed by stern robotic sounding voice> Warning! This is a secure kitchen as well! Step away from the Stove, Ovens, Refrigerators Walk in Freezer and Food Prep Areas immediately Impish! The use of Lethal’ s Force(s) has been authorized for this area. This is your only warning! Maintain 6 Dragon lengths minimum from kitchen entryway at all times!”

<An electrical crackle followed by an odor of burnt Ozone & the sound of a Dragon roaring indignantly in pain can be heard>

Robotic sounding voice: “You were warned Impish. That was only Level 3. Would care to experience Level 6? If not vacate the area immediately. WARNING! Weapon settings increases are cumulative with each attempted incursion to secured areas and apply to all secured areas.

<Lethal again quietly bangs his head harder this time on the podium and sighs deeply>

Ladies and Gentlemen I do most heartily apologize however it seems my attention is required elsewhere at the present time. Please start the issue without me I hope to be free to join you once again by the end.

<Dons a bush jacket, Wellingtons and a hunting cap. Picks up a large shotgun turns and lays a finger to his lips> “Shhh! Be werry werry quite! I’m hunting Glutinous Dragons Ahaaaaaa!”

 

Opening Logo 22

 

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So how about helping Impish & I support our troops by making sure that the family of that serving National Guardsman down the street has everything they need for Thanksgiving?

Don’t personally know them? Uncomfortable with asking them? Afraid of embarrassing them? Most chain grocery stores offer gift cards now. Just drop one anonymously in their mailbox with a “Thank You for your loved one’s service” note. Help make this scene:

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A little nicer and more bearable for all of them wont you? After all their family is helping keep you and 100 of thousands more like you safe for your Thanksgiving Day.

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Man Throws Parrot At Waterbury Officer

October 17, 2013|By DAVID OWENS, dowens@courant.com, The Hartford Courant

  • WATERBURY — A local man armed with a parrot was charged with assaulting a police officer and other offenses after allegedly hurling the white bird at a pursuing officer.

Police had been called to Orange and Walnut streets about 10 p.m. Tuesday for a report of a fight. When officers arrived, they spotted Luis Santana, 32, and the bird, and began chasing Santana. He turned and threw the bird at the officer, police said.

When Officer Gary Kichar raised his hand to shield himself, the bird chomped down on his finger, police said. Kichar was treated at the scene.

Police caught Santana, who tried to hide in the bathroom of a building in which he did not live, police said.

Waterbury police Deputy Chief Christopher Corbett said that the bird apparently was stolen and that the owner came forward and the bird returned.

Santana, who lives in a local homeless shelter, was charged with assault on a police officer, interfering with an officer, disorderly conduct and cruelty to animals for the incident with the parrot. He was charged with second-degree burglary for running into the building. Corbett said an additional charge would be filed in the theft of the bird.

Well that certain brings ‘giving the cop the bird’ to a whole new level doesn’t it!  Speaking of the bird, here are some timely tips on how to safely get in on the turkey frying craze .

 

 

Not Cmas Yet

 

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Mail

This week it’s a wonderful Thanksgiving Wish from Reader Paul B.

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=WQ26144948

!cid_X_MA1_1384522741@aol

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Lethal’ s head pops in the room.

“Any Dragons in here?” No? Harrumph!”

He sees what you are looking at.

“Yeah I figured that this late in the game you wouldn’t be needing any meal ideas but a few last minute easy and impressive dessert ideas are always a good thing. In truth Impish was almost behaving himself  until we started making these 2 recipes then I guess the strain just got to him and he snapped.”

White Chocolate Cranberry Pear Pastry

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At a glance

 Prep 30 min. |  Total 2 hr. 15 min. |  Serves 10

Thaw: 40 min. | Bake: 35 min. | Cool: 30 min.

Canned pears, chopped white chocolate and dried cranberries make a fabulous filling for this no-fuss fruit pie, made simple in a flaky puff pastry crust.

What You’ll Need

1 egg
1 tablespoon water
1 package (17.3 ounces) Pepperidge Farm® Puff Pastry Sheets (2 sheets), thawed according to package directions
6 squares squares (1 ounce each) white chocolate
2 cans (15 ounces each) sliced pears, well drained
1/4 cup dried cranberries

How to Make It

  • 1 Heat the oven to 375°F. Beat the egg and water in a small bowl with a fork or whisk.
  • 2 Unfold the pastry sheets on a lightly floured surface. Trim about 1 inch off the corners of each pastry sheet. Reserve the trimmings to use as decorations, if desired. Place 1 pastry sheet on a baking sheet.
  • 3 Chop 4 squares of the chocolate. Stir the chocolate, pears and cranberries in a medium bowl. Spread the mixture in the center of the pastry sheet to within 1 inch of the edges. Brush the edges with water. Top with the remaining pastry sheet. Press the edges together with a fork to seal. Decorate with the pastry trimmings. Brush the pastry with the egg mixture. Cut several 2-inch slits, 2 inches apart on top.
  • 4 Bake for 35 minutes or until the pastry is golden brown. Cool the pastry on a baking sheet on a wire rack for 30 minutes before serving. Melt the remaining chocolate and drizzle it over the pastry. Cut the pastry into 10 squares.

 

Pumpkin Mousse Napoleons

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Here’s a delicious alternative to traditional pumpkin pie. And to make the napoleons look as good as they taste, check out the simple directions for making the striped design on top.

At a glance

 Prep 20 min. |  Total 1 hr. 55 min. |  Serves 12

Thaw: 40 min. | Bake: 15 min. | Chill: 30 min. | Cool: 10 min.

What You’ll Need

1/2 of a 17.3-ounce package Pepperidge Farm® Puff Pastry Sheets (1 sheet), thawed
1 cup canned pumpkin
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 cups whipped topping
1/4 cup chopped pecans

How to Make It

  • 1 Heat the oven to 400°F.
  • 2 Unfold the pastry sheet on a lightly floured surface.  Cut the pastry sheet into 3 strips along the fold marks. Cut each strip into 4 rectangles, making 12 in all.  Place the pastry rectangles onto a baking sheet.
  • 3 Bake for 15 minutes or until the pastries are golden brown.  Remove the pastries from the baking sheet and let cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes.  Split the pastries into 2 layers, making 24 in all.
  • 4 Stir the pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar in a medium bowl.  Fold in the whipped topping.  Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
  • 5 Divide the pumpkin mixture among 12 bottom pastry layers. Top with the pecans and top pastry layers.  Garnish with additional cinnamon and confectioners’ sugar or whipped topping.

Tip: For a striped garnish, place 1/2-inch strips of wax paper diagonally across the tops of the pastries.  Sprinkle with confectioners’ sugar or cinnamon.  Remove the wax paper.

  !cid_1_1175249141@web185004_mail_gq1_yahoo

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What to say after observing Impish do and say this: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

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Perverted Prose 2

Well if I can’t keep Impish away from the kitchen with high tech security measures, maybe PsyOps will work. See Impish is VERY susceptible to certain suggestions. All I have to do is just mention a song that got too much airplay when it was in vogue and instant ear wig!

For those of you who are not familiar with this, its not a bug, rather it bugs the hell out of you. Every have one of those jingles or songs you couldn’t get out of your head? That’s an ear wig.Time to give Impish a holiday related one. Excuse me while I play this through out the entire HQ.

Perverted Prose- Pastry-bration

<Anguished scream can be heard for far off in the distance>

“NO! NO! Not again! Can’t. Get. ‘Pastry-bation!’ Song. Out. Of. ‘Come on and pastry-brate baked goods tonight.’ ARRGH! MY HEAD! Lethal this is against the Geneva Convention!”

<slapping hands together and snapping out his apron with a small cloud of flour resulting>

Well that seems to have him temporarily under control anyway. Fortunately last time I checked neither Tir Na Nog or Draconia were signatories to the Geneva Convention. So I’m off then, back to me kitchen still LOTS to do.

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I intend to take full advantage of the cold and dank weather by sleep a wee bit on the decadently late side, then properly breaking in the new bedroom TV with coffee, a warm and flakey pastry along with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I shall accomplish this while still warm and snuggly under me covers with a sniffling and under the weather from what looks to be the flu Molly.

Then we’ll have a scrumptious Thanksgiving Day Dinner with out a whole lot of fussing which means doing the bulk of the work today and just popping everything in for a reheat tomorrow.

I have originally planned some inspiring words about the things I was thankful for. However posting time is nigh upon me and I have yet to find the time to devote to properly and profoundly expressing all the thoughts running around in my head.

Instead please accept these equally profound quotes on the subject of Thanksgiving in their place.

20 Favorite Thanksgiving Quotes

At its heart, Thanksgiving is just about the simplest holiday we celebrate. No gifts are expected; there’s no tree to chop down. We don’t even have to think too hard about the food we’ll eat –– the traditional menu has been planned for us for generations. All we’re expected to do is sit down with friends and family, eat a whole lot –– and say thank you. It’s very basic, but also very profound.

Thanksgiving is such a touchstone in our culture that it has inspired many notable people to reflect on its meaning. From the deep to the humbling to the simply funny, here are 20 of our favorite quotes about Thanksgiving.

“Thanksgiving is the holiday that encompasses all others. All of them, from Martin Luther King Day to Arbor Day to Christmas to Valentine’s Day, are in one way or another about being thankful.” – Jonathan Safran Foer

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy

“Perhaps no custom reveals our character as a Nation so clearly as our celebration of Thanksgiving Day.” – Ronald Reagan

“Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.” – Robert Caspar Lintner

“Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” – Cicero

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – Johnny Carson

“Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.” – William Shakespeare

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.” – Erma Bombeck

“We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” – George Carlin

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” – Phyllis Diller

“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.” – W. Clement Stone

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” – Irv Kupcinet

“Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.” – Jacqueline Winspear

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” – Gerald Good

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. . . . O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.” – Henry David Thoreau

“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” – Aesop

“I do not think of all the misery, but of the glory that remains. Go outside into the fields, nature and the sun, go out and seek happiness in yourself and in God. Think of the beauty that again and again discharges itself within and without you and be happy.” – Anne Frank

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”  – W.T. Purkiser

“There is one day that is ours. There is one day when all we Americans who are not self-made go back to the old home to eat saleratus biscuits and marvel how much nearer to the porch the old pump looks than it used to. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.” – O. Henry

“This year, let us especially seek to rekindle in our respective hearts and minds the spirit of our first settlers who valued freedom above all else, and who found much for which to be thankful when material comforts were meager. We are, indeed, a most fortunate people.” – Richard Nixon

“Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else’s fairy tale.” – Wale Ayeni

“If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” – Frank A. Clark

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 221 for Wednesday Nov 27th 2013

  1. Doug in Nanaimo says:

    ‘Chef Lethal’.. umm.. say what again?

    Maybe I’ll just eat from that dumpster over there… odds sound better. 🙂

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