Dragon Laffs #1358


header78Good Morning Campers!
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday!
Things at DL & LL Electronic Media, LLC were interesting, to say the least.
I think that Lethal is still hunting dragons.
I didn’t ruin anything, contrary to the pre-Thanksgiving post that he put out on Wednesday.  Well, at least I don’t feel like I ruined anything.  I was sure those pies were supposed to be for me!  How was I supposed to know that those were designated for the whole staff?  I mean really?  It’s not like they said they were saved for anyone!
Well, okay so the electronic voice, alarm and high voltage electrical shock I received COULD have been interpreted as not being for me, but would it have been too hard to just put up a sign that said not for Impish?  Okay, so there WAS a sign that said not for Dragons, but I ask you, am I an ordinary old dragon?  Could that sign possibly have been for me?
Of course not!

And the turkey!  I ALWAYS get my own set of turkeys!  Stripped down to the white meat, with plenty of dressing and gravy.  I am a breast dragon, after all.  But these turkeys weren’t stripped down, they had all the dark meat on them.  So, you can imagine my disappointment.  I suppose that’s why I chewed them all up so messily.  I didn’t realize that all my turkey was in the other room.  But, I didn’t think it was right for Lethal to take that many shots at me.  Some of them even HIT me!  It might even be several more days until I’m back to 100%.  Do you know that I still can’t play the piano?
It’s inhuman!
And I’ve always wanted to be able to play the piano!

<As the sounds of gunfire echo through the campground…>

Well, I’m thinking Lethal still is a little annoyed with me…

DRAGON!  I KNOW YOU’RE HERE SOMEWHERE!  IT’S SATURDAY AND THIS IS YOUR CAMPGROUND!

Yeah, um…it’s really time for me to…you know…um…let’s get on with the issue!

DRAGON!  COME OUT, COME OUT WHERE EVERY YOU ARE!

So yeah…

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Let’s start with something that might help keep you alive in a bad situation.  My specialty as some of you may or may not know.  No, it doesn’t have anything to do with CBRN (Chemical, Biological, Radiological and Nuclear) Survival Skills, which is one of the classes I teach on the base, but with something much more mundane.  What do you do if you have plenty of canned food, but no can opener?  Well, above and beyond the fact that a can opener ought to be one of the most duplicated items you own, you really ought to have at least one in your “grab-and-go” kit.
Here’s one that I have several of, on about every key ring I have:

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But here’s a video to show you how to open a can with no can opener, knife, screwdriver, etc.  at all:

Pretty neat, right?  Anybody have any other cool ideas like this?

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Did you know that Betty White is actually a real tech geek?
No, neither did I!
Well, turns out she’s VERY tech savvy…as this Sharper Image Commercial shows:

Well……Maybe not as tech savvy as I was led to believe…
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DragonPapa1 (227)
With Thanksgiving having just passed on Thursday, it reminds me of Turkey…did you know that Dragons LOVE turkey!?  And this particular dragon is a real white meat fan!  Yup, I’m a real breast man.  This year at the Impish caverns we had the BEST turkey EVER!  These were the best EVER turkey breasts around.  See what I mean…
arrow

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Best Turkey EVER!

breastsYeah, except dragons DO LIKE Turkey…especially the breasts!

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676Okay, so how many of us think that really WOULD be the worst horror story ever?

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Here’s a public service announcement from your good friends at Dragon Laffs & Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media, LLP.  Because we care.
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Slipping back into the fire pit at the campground….
Anyone see Lethal anywhere?
He’s gone?
Oh good, well, let’s get back to the …
<Blam! Blam! Blam!>
Got you, you scaly Turkey thief!
…funny stuff!
Damn!
<Zip! Disappears in a cloud of dust!>

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My uncle Asher Dragon voted straight Republican until the day he died in Chicago.
Since then he has voted Democrat.

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a17
a18
a19Pure Panic!

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Here’s a nice little eye-opening essay.  It’s very revealing whether you are Catholic or not.

When the Catholic Church was founded, there were no hospitals. Today, one out of five people in this country receive their medical care at a Catholic hospital.

When the Catholic Church was founded, there were no schools. Today, the Catholic Church teaches 3 million students a day, in its more than 250 Catholic Colleges and Universities, in its more than 1200 Catholic High Schools and its more than 5000 Catholic grade schools.

Every day, the Catholic Church feeds, clothes, shelters and educates more people than any other organization in the world.

The new Obama Health Mandate could end all this and the tax payers would have to make up the loss.

Also, all Catholic adoption services would come to an end; a human disaster.

There are more than 77 million Catholics in this country. It takes an estimated 50 million Catholic votes to elect a president. I am asking all of you to go to the polls in 2014 and be united in replacing all Senators and Reps with someone who will respect the Catholic Church, all Christians, and all Religions with the exception of Islam.

**Mr. President, you said**, “The USA is not a Christian Nation”. You are 100% wrong we are a Christian Nation founded on Judeo-Christian values allowing all religions in America to Worship & Practice Freely.  Something Islam will never do.

Just for that you should be Impeached and thrown out of the Country.

Oh, by the way, on MUSLIM HERITAGE IN America …

Have you ever been to a Muslim hospital?

Have you heard a Muslim orchestra?

Have you seen a Muslim band march in a parade?

Have you witnessed a Muslim charity?

Have you seen Muslims shaking hands with a Muslim Girl Scouts?

Have you seen a Muslim Candy Striper?*

*Have you ever seen a Muslim do anything that contributes positively to the American way of life?*

The day we lose our will to fight is the day we lose our freedom.

IN GOD WE TRUST

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So ladies
so many
so send
so
Somali Pirates
somethings
soon

How much does each company make per second?
Who’d you think was the highest?
And how much do you think they make per second?
Well, according to Kim Komando….here’s the list.  I’ll bet you’ll be surprised.

How much do top tech companies make in one second?

It should come as no surprise that major technology companies like Microsoft, Apple, Samsung and even Facebook make millions, even billions, each year.

But how much do these companies make per second? The answer might shock you

Samsung: $6,486 per second
Apple: $4,539
Foxconn: $3,815
HP: $3,459
IBM: $3,166
Microsoft: $2,331
Amazon: $1,996
Google: $1,873
Dell: $1,865
Intel: $1,628
Cisco: $1,594
Oracle: $1,068
Nokia: $941
Facebook: $230
BlackBerry: $205

Here’s a last minute update….you saw the video of how to open a can without a can opener, well one guy wrote in to Kim’s website and submitted, How to Open a Wine Bottle Without a Corkscrew:

groansoda

coollogo_com-83607356_thumbThanks to Ginny for supplying us with our weekly fill of these observations…

A report says that several animals were injured or killed during movie and
TV productions that were overseen by the American Humane Association.
It got so bad at one point they covered up the death of Bambi’s mother to
look like a suicide. The worst case was when Donald Duck was hunted
down and shot in the face by Dick Cheney.
Country singer Wayne Mills was shot to death in a Nashville bar by the owner
over a dispute about smoking. You should have seen what happened to the
guy who tried to get service with no shoes or a shirt.
A Tennessee man has left his house along with $250,000 in cash to his two cats.
That’s all that Nashville needs is another luxury cat house.
A 10,000 year old home has been discovered in Jerusalem. The bad part is that
it is being foreclosed as the owner defaulted on the subprime loan they are still
paying off from 8,000 B.C.
A poll says that 69% of Americans are satisfied with their health care plan. The
other 31% have gotten sick and found out their health care plan actually only
covers the cost of a jar of aspirin, a bottle of iodine and a tourniquet.

New
Wal-Mart CEO Doug McMillon is a company insider who has worked at the
store since 1984. He is just glad to see the promotion will bump his salary all the
way up to $9.42 an hour.
Scientists say that honeybees can be trained to sniff out cancer in humans. And
you thought it was uncomfortable before when your doctor used to check
for prostate cancer.
Afghanistan may again make it the law to stone convicted adulterers. Which means
if Hillary is elected in 2016, she’ll be making visits to Kabul solo.
After George Zimmerman was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend, a
search of their home found three handguns, a 12-gauge shotgun, a rifle and
106 rounds of ammunition. And aren’t residents of 49 states sorry that a
condition of his bail is that Zimmerman not leave Florida?

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You guys remember the Carol Burnett Show, right?  You ever see the skit that never aired?  Well, if you have questions, they’ll be answered right here…

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coollogo_com-83394237_thumbHaving worked in restaurant work for many, many years, I have had the exact same thing happen to me.  I was working at a steakhouse and they insisted on opening for Thanksgiving.  I protested, sent a letter to the company, my wonderful wife sent a scathing letter to the company (“I hope that the tears of the spouses and children of the managers and employees who are working today, echo in your dreams!”)  but I went to work anyway.  As the general manager I could have pawned the duty off on one of my assistants, but I felt that if anyone was going to be screwed, I would rather it be me than one of them.  I had, after all, often told them that I would never ask of them what I wouldn’t do myself.  Well, we had a total of two customers all day long.  It cost the company a small fortune and they never did THAT again.  It wasn’t much, but it was the best payback I could ask for.

But this poor guy, also in Indiana, ended up losing his job because he refused to open his Pizza Hut on Thanks giving.  I hope the company reaps exactly the same fate as the steakhouse that I worked at!

Pizza Hut Employee: I Was Fired For Defending Thanksgiving

The general manager of a Pizza Hut in Elkhart, Ind., claims he was fired for refusing to force employees to work on Thanksgiving Day, according to local TV station WSBT 22.

The manager, Tony Rohr, had worked for the pizza chain for more than 10 years before taking a stand, telling his bosses it was not fair to force people to work on a day meant for family. Here’s Rohr’s proof of employment:5e

Rohr is far from alone in his reluctance to force people to work on Thanksgiving. In fact, more than 60 percent of Americans say stores should close on Turkey Day, according to a recent HuffPost/YouGov poll. Additionally, various petitions to save Thanksgiving from the slow creep of Black Friday garnered hundreds of thousands of signatures this year.

“I said why can’t we be the company that stands up and says we care about our employees and they can have the day off,” Rohr told WSBT 22.

“Thanksgiving and Christmas are the only two days that they’re closed in the whole year and they’re the only two days that those people are guaranteed to have off to spend with their families.”

Rohr additionally claims that he was asked to pen a letter of resignation. Instead, he wrote a letter, of which he showed WSBT a copy, that railed against the company: 5f

Here’s part of what the letter said:

“I am not quitting. I do not resign however I accept that the refusal to comply with this greedy, immoral request means the end of my tenure with this company… I hope you realize that it’s the people at the bottom of the totem pole that make your life possible.”

WSBT 22 reached one of Rohr’s bosses, a local Pizza hut director of operations, who took issue with Rohr’s depiction of the events, claiming that Rohr was not fired and instead quit voluntarily.

Pizza Hut issued this statement to The Huffington Post late Wednesday:

“This was clearly an unfortunate situation, and we are very upset by what has transpired in Elkhart, Indiana. While the choice as to whether a restaurant should be open or closed on a holiday is handled at the local level by our independent franchisees, we feel strongly that this situation could have been avoided. We respect an employee’s decision not to work on a holiday if they so choose, which is why the vast majority of Pizza Huts in America are closed on Thanksgiving. The stores that are open to service their local communities are staffed by team members with the willingness to work on this day as determined by their own personal situations. We will monitor and evaluate this situation closely and regret what has occurred.”

Rohr’s story quickly went viral and the Internet predictably did its thing on Pizza Hut’s Facebook page:

If we could only push this to the extent that more people boycotted Pizza Hut and other stores that are doing the same thing.  It’s bad enough that Black Friday has extended to start Thanksgiving evening, but some of the stores are actually opening Thanksgiving morning.  And having worked part time for Target, the idea of saying you wouldn’t be there was reason enough to be fired. 

It’s our fault. 

If we wouldn’t show up, they wouldn’t be open. 

But so many of us are so wrapped up in the commercialism of the holiday season instead of remembering the “reason for the season” that the greed of the businesses is a given.  I haven’t and hopefully never will, shop on Black Friday, simply because I don’t think I could debase myself enough to fight with other people over getting the best deal or the latest fad gift.  I most certainly will NEVER shop at a store on Thanksgiving Day.  If we don’t have something we need, then we do without.  Every customer that runs into the grocery store or even the convenience store for that last minute item is encouraging them to screw their own employees out of the one day a year that they should be spending with family.

I wonder, how many people even remember what they bought that was so important on Black Friday Last year?  Looking back on it now, was it THAT important?

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1358

  1. Hank says:

    Loved the Last Word today and couldn’t agree more. Lets be thankful for what we have first, and them start the Christmas season.

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