Dragon Laffs #1356


Dragon Laffs 16

Good Morning Campers!
I’d love to give you a big lead in and tell you what a great issue this is and how much fun you’re going to have (it is and you will) but I’ve got to get some sleep so I can go to work early in the morning.
So, without further ado…

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This first part has been going around for a long time.  I’m sure there’s a bit of “artistic License” involved, but the thought itself is very true.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t understand why Eisenhower was so popular. Maybe this will explain why.5a

General Eisenhower Warned Us.

5b

It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all possible  photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead.
He did this because he said in words to this effect: ‘Get it all on record now – get the films – get the witnesses – because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened’
This week, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust from its school curriculum because it ‘offends’ the Muslim population which claims it never occurred. It is not removed as yet.. However, this is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it.
It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended.. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the, six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests Who were ‘murdered, raped, burned, starved, beaten, experimented on and humiliated’ while many in the world looked the other way!
Now, more than ever, with Iran, among others, claiming the Holocaust to be ‘a myth,’ it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

5c

This e-mail is intended to reach 400 million people! Be a link in the memorial chain and help distribute this around the world.
How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center ‘NEVER HAPPENED’,

5dThe longer we wait, to make things right, the harder it becomes to fix anything.  Fellow campers, the longer we continue to forgive and forget, the more often we will be brutally taken advantage of.  Don’t turn a blind eye.  Do say “somebody” ought to do something.  Don’t say “I don’t want to get involved.”  Be the power that is your own future.

Very timely…
5g

This one is from K².  Brother Karl is a great guy and sends us some really fantastic stuff.  This little link is among the best.  You try and figure out how it’s done and if you can come up with a better answer than computer generation, let me know…
What you are about to see,You will not believe your own eyes
Click below
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202129812517526

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DragonPapa1 (228)
And another great submission from K²
5e

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Sent in by our dear friend Diaman.  She’s worried about me.  It’s so sweet:
5f

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My Dad is a very thoughtful guy.  By that I mean he has lots and lots of thoughts…and, so it seems, questions.  Here’s his latest…

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! 
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway…

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someonebelieve you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE………
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Thanks Dad…now I’ve got a bunch of questions in MY head.  It’s like not being able to get a certain song out of your head all day…now I’ve gotten all these questions floating around.

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Impish Dragon and Lethal Leprechaun were talking one afternoon when Impish tells Lethal, “You know, I think I’m about ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Mrs. Dragon got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Mrs. Dragon got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and dammed if Mrs. Dragon didn’t get pregnant again.”

Lethal asks Impish, “So, what are you going to do this year that’s different?”

Impish Dragon says, “This year I’m taking Mrs. Dragon with me.”

 

Probably a lot my truth in this one than laughter
5h

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

“Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”

“But why, Mom?  I don’t want to go.”

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school.  Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school.”

“Well, for one, your 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!”

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beer
Football
guitar
have
her
If Only

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A report says that Wal-Mart could afford to pay its workers 50%
more than what they are making now. Wal-Mart argues if it paid
its employees a livable wage, they wouldn’t have to shop at
Wal-Mart anymore.
The federal government is sending out e-mails urging people
who failed to enroll for health care online to come back and try
the Obamacare website again. They also sent out an e-mail to
Charlie Brown trying to convince him that Lucy will hold the
football so he can kick it this time.

The Today Show ended Friday with Al Roker and Matt Lauer getting
a prostate exam together on camera. What good sports. In addition
to the daylong soreness they endured afterwards, Al Roker and Matt
Lauer are now legally married in six Border Southern states.
Germany was rated the most popular country in the world Friday in
the BBC’s annual international survey of people’s favorite countries.
Japan was the second favorite. It just shows that if you build
quality cars it goes a long way toward making up for old war crimes.
A report says that doctors are concerned about patients’ care and
fees with Obamacare. The biggest problem is carpal tunnel
syndrome and computer vision damage caused by their patients
waiting days to log on to the Obamacare website.
President Obama is considering appointing a civilian to run the NSA.
The good news is they won’t have to interview for the position. The
NSA already has everything they need to know about any American
who is even considered.

Lethal Leprechaun and I both wear these medical alert bracelets…
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Happily Ever After????
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669I’m currently in hiding from Elmer…writing this from an undisclosed location.  I know what side of the fence I’m on!
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Continuing on a theme already started with this issue, Here’s a real nice comparison:

March 21st 2010 to October 1 2013 is 3 years, 6 months, 10 days.
 
December 7, 1941 to May 8, 1945 is 3 years, 5 months, 1 day.
 
What this means is that from the time we were attacked at Pearl Harbor to the day Germany surrendered is not enough time for the current federal government to build a working website.
 
Mobilization of millions, building tens of thousands of tanks, planes, jeeps, submarines, cruisers, destroyers, torpedoes, millions upon millions of guns, bombs, ammo, etc.  Turning the tide in North Africa, invading Italy, D-Day, Battle of the Bulge, Race to Berlin – all while we were also fighting the Japanese in the Pacific!
 
And the current administration can’t build a website.

What a great comparison!  But why doesn’t the website work?  With all the companies out there who are having HUGE traffic and not having any website issues, why can’t this one, that should have been produced by the best talent the United States!  Maybe this has something to do with it…

Michelle Obama’s Princeton classmate is executive at company that built Obamacare website

First Lady Michelle Obama’s Princeton classmate is a top executive at the company that earned the contract to build the failed Obamacare website.

Toni Townes-Whitley, Princeton class of ’85, is senior vice president at CGI Federal, which earned the no-bid contract to build the $678 million Obamacare enrollment website at Healthcare.gov. CGI Federal is the U.S. arm of a Canadian company.

Townes-Whitley and her Princeton classmate Michelle Obama are both members of the Association of Black Princeton Alumni.

Toni Townes ’85 is a onetime policy analyst with the General Accounting Office and previously served in the Peace Corps in Gabon, West Africa. Her decision to return to work, as an African-American woman, after six years of raising kids was applauded by a Princeton alumni publication in 1998

George Schindler, the president for U.S. and Canada of the Canadian-based CGI Group, CGI Federal’s parent company, became an Obama 2012 campaign donor after his company gained the Obamacare website contract.

As reported by the Washington Examiner in early October, the Department of Health and Human Services reviewed only CGI’s bid for the Obamacare account. CGI was one of 16 companies qualified under the Bush administration to provide certain tech services to the federal government. A senior vice president for the company testified this week before The House Committee on Energy and Commerce that four companies submitted bids, but did not name those companies or explain why only CGI’s bid was considered.

On the government end, construction of the disastrous Healthcare.gov website was overseen by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), a division of longtime failed website-builder Kathleen Sebelius’ Department of Health and Human Services.

Update: The Daily Caller repeatedly contacted CGI Federal for comment. After publication of this article, the company responded that there would be “nothing coming out of CGI for the record or otherwise today.” The company did however insist that The Daily Caller include a reference to vice president Cheryl Campbell’s House testimony. This has been included as a courtesy to the company

Well now…doesn’t that just chap your ass!  Something as important, that has the potential to affect every single person in the country, is the kind of responsibility to give to your wife’s girlfriend?  Really?  That’s the proper path to take for the good of the country that you swore to do the very best you could for?  Mr. Obama, you can honestly look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are doing and have done the very best you could for this country YOU PROMISED to work for?  If you can, than you are an idiot and should dismiss yourself from office this minute!  If you can’t, then you are an idiot and a thief, a swindler, have no integrity and should not only be kicked out of office, but should spend the rest of your life in jail!

I have some late breaking news!  Seems the Obamacare website is finally up and running!  Check it out right here:

Just hit the “Apply Now” button to

​ ​

check it out.

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