Leprechaun Laughs #219 for November 13th 2013


Well the weather has finally broken here. Our high today is forecast to be only 56. Fighting the cats and Molly for my blankets has once again become an all to frequent nightly occurrence. All this makes me look forward to our thanks giving trip to South Padre Island where to paraphrase Zac Brown I will have one final chance this year for having

“my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a fishing pole in my hand
Life will be good that day. Life will be good that day.”

OK, we got a full issue and this busted dying Lap Top which I miraculously got to start 10 days ago and have not turned off since is starting to give me grief about finish the issue so lets get going before it dies and I lose a weeks worth of laughs on you guys.

Opening Logo 20


One of our cats likes to sniff the spilled grounds when I am blending Brown Gold (I think she does a wee bit more than just sniffs them meself) and finally just HAS to get a tongue full of them before I can clean them up and she looks just like that about 2 minutes later.


Yes it’s a little late the actual birthday being last Sunday. We’ll get into exactly who was asleep at the blog post a little later on in the issue.


doing it right

Dale Beatty: Making life easier for disabled veterans
After Dale Beatty lost his legs in the Iraq war, his community thanked him for his service by helping him build a home. To pay it forward, Beatty co-founded Purple Heart Homes, which

has helped build or modify homes for dozens of disabled U.S. veterans. “We wouldn’t leave someone behind on the battlefield,” Beatty said. “Why would we do it at home?”
Read Beatty’s story


Goodwill disturbing sale: Box of personal information sold by bulk for $27.69


November 6, 2013

A Goodwill find turns out to be very disturbing and could have put some people in hot water by ruining their finances and credit. Emily Watson, a Goodwill Outlet shopper picked up a box of someone’s personal documents at one of Indiana’s Goodwill locations for $27.69, according to Yahoo News on Nov. 5.

In this box was one family’s tax returns, legal documents, pictures, divorce papers, pay stubs and checking and savings account information. When items aren’t sold at Goodwill they are placed in a bin and sold in bulk by the pound. This is why Watson paid the odd price of $27.69 for the box that weighed 39 pounds, which was a lot of personal information on this one family.

When Watson found this box, she brought this to the attention of the manager of the Goodwill store and after quickly looking it over he said he didn’t think it was harmful and said it would stay on the floor for sale. Watson purchased it to save this family any undue identity or financial problems if it should fall in the wrong hands.

[truncated by Lethal- follow link above to read entire article]

Indianapolis Metro Police. Sergeant Eric Eads, an ID theft expert with the force said that “this could be a police nightmare if someone had gotten ahold of this stuff.”

Goodwill should not have put these papers on the floor for sale and Goodwill’s Marketing Vice President Cindy Graham admitted their mistake and they are working to put better safeguards through policy changes to stop this from happening.

This is also a reminder to folks to make sure they know what are in the boxes they are donating to Goodwill. The information rounded up in this investigation has either been returned to the rightful owner or destroyed.

When I first read this I was of a mind to really have a go at Goodwill for the lack of a Corporate policy as well as the epic stupidity of the Store Manager. However it occurs to me they are not solely at fault here. Properly securing and destroying you personal financial and health information is not Goodwill’s responsibility, it is yours. From where I’m sitting if after all the things that have been said in all forms of media about not allowing this type of thing to happen you carelessly discard boxes full of that sort of information to a place that you know is going to resell them you fully deserve what happens next.


Terrible Misunderstanding

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.”

“This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.”

“I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family.”

No one moved.

The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.”

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.

Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.”

“I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.”

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.


Seems like Impish once more has screwed the pooch and insulted not only me but every Marine reader by forgetting the Marine Corps Birthday which was last Sunday.


It’s November and the mall is packed with shoppers and a Impish can’t find Mrs. Dragon. He goes up to a very attractive woman and says ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I can’t see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

The attractive woman says, “Why?”

Impish replies “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materializes out of thin air.”



Brown Butter Pumpkin Pie



Serves 8-10

1 prebaked single crust pie shell
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup light brown sugar
2 tablespoons water
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 2/3 cups pumpkin puree
1/2 teaspoon each allspice, cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
Pinch ground cloves
1 teaspoon molasses
2 teaspoons lemon juice
2/3 cup whole milk
1/3 cup carrot juice

In a heavy-bottomed skillet, melt butter over medium-low heat. Continue to cook, whisking occasionally, as the butter foams, then turns golden, then nut brown. When the butter is nut brown, immediately whisk in brown sugar, then the water.

Bring mixture to a boil; simmer until a candy thermometer reads 225 degrees. (Or until mixture smells caramelized and starts to darken.) Off heat, slowly add cream (the mixture will bubble rapidly) and whisk until smooth. Let cool at least 10 minutes. Stir in vanilla.

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place the prebaked pie shell on a rimmed baking sheet.

In a separate bowl, lightly whisk the eggs and yolks together with the salt.

Using a food processor, blend pumpkin with the spices, molasses, and lemon juice until smooth. Stream the brown-butter butterscotch through the food processor’s feed tube and process until combined. Stream in egg mixture, then milk and carrot juice; stopping once or twice to scrape down the sides.

Strain filling through a fine-mesh sieve, pressing through with a rubber scraper. Pour into the prebaked shell.

Bake on center rack 45 to 55 minutes, rotating the pan 180 degrees when the edges start to set, about 30 to 35 minutes through the baking time. The pie is finished when the edges are set and puffed slightly and the center is no longer liquid but still quite wobbly. Do not over bake or the custard can separate; the filling will continue to cook and set as the pie slowly cools.

Cool completely on a wire rack, 2 to 3 hours. Serve slightly warm, at room temperature or cool. Keeps refrigerated for 2 days or at room temperature for 1 day.

Plank Smoked Orange Rosemary Chicken

Prep Time: 1 hour | Cook Time: 40 minutes | Makes: 4 servings

Recipe Name



4 cedar grilling planks

2 Tbsp. Your favorite Chicken Rub

1/2 c. Basting Oil

4 chicken leg quarters or bone-in breasts

8 sprigs fresh Rosemary

1 small orange, very thinly sliced

• green onions, chopped (optional)


Soak wood planks in water 1 hour.

Heat grill to medium. Mix chicken rub into basting oil to create a paste. Gently rub paste on chicken.

Place chicken directly on grill, skin side down, and grill 10-15 minutes or until skin is nicely browned, but chicken is not cooked all the way through.

  Lay 2 rosemary sprigs on each soaked plank. Add chicken, skin side up, and arrange orange slices on top. Place planks with chicken on grill and finish cooking/smoking until internal temperature is 165ºF, about 20-25 minutes.

Garnish with chopped green onion if desired. Serve warm.

Basting Oil is simply a flavor infused oil which makes food taste better than basting it with plain oil. I make my own by heating EVOO in a sauce pan with a crushed head of garlic,a Table spoon of cracked black pepper corns and a sprig of rosemary until I see tiny bubble coming off the herbs and spices. Cover it turn off the heat allow it to steep and cool. Then using cheese cloth in a funnel I filter it into the bottle I’m going to store it in.

With a little kosher salt it makes a great seasoning for oven roasted potatoes.

Don’t have a favorite chicken rub? Try McCormick’s Backyard BBQ seasoning blend.



Perverted Prose Header

Yup dat’s right, no genre of song is sacred or safe from by purloining and perversion! Today it’s that old camp chestnut “On Top of Spaghetti” or as I call it On Top of a Dragon

Purloined & Perverted -On Top of a Dragon




DL - Auto-Correct Attack








Police Cite “Clenched Buttocks” As Probable Cause to Conduct 14 Hour Cavity Search On Man

Yup I know, this sounds like the sort of thing I feature in one of my ‘I Call Bullshit!’ features. I even started out under that assumption and was forced to redo a large section of the issue because my research proved differently. While what happen to this guy is total bullshit the story is apparently true. Links are provided at then end of the article.

New Mexico man says he was anally probed 8 times after routine traffic stop

David Eckert was stopped by Deming police after rolling through stop sign, according to lawsuit. He claims he was then subjected to digital searches for drugs, then enemas and a colonoscopy.

November 5, 2013


A New Mexico man was pulling out of a parking lot when he failed to make a complete stop at a stop sign. When he saw police lights behind him he probably thought, like most people, that this would end in a warning or perhaps a minor citation. He didn’t expect it would spiral into a nearly day long ordeal where he would be subjected to increasingly intrusive cavity searches over accusations that he was hiding drugs in his anus.

It all started when upon pulling David Eckert over, New Mexico police asked the man to step out of the car. That’s when they claim “[Eckert] appeared to be clenching his buttocks.” From that they said they had probable cause for searching for drugs on – and in – the man.

Eckert says he was then taken to a nearby emergency room to have the invasive search completed. When a doctor at that facility refused, police took Eckert to another medical center willing to conduct the procedure.

The New Mexico police are nothing if not persistent. After driving Eckert to another medical center the police and medical staff subjected him to the following humiliating – and ultimately fruitless – procedures.  From KOB-4:

1. Eckert’s abdominal area was x-rayed; no narcotics were found.

2. Doctors then performed an exam of Eckert’s anus with their fingers; no narcotics were found.

3. Doctors performed a second exam of Eckert’s anus with their fingers; no narcotics were found.

4. Doctors penetrated Eckert’s anus to insert an enema.  Eckert was forced to defecate in front of doctors and police officers.  Eckert watched as doctors searched his stool.  No narcotics were found.

5. Doctors penetrated Eckert’s anus to insert an enema a second time.  Eckert was forced to defecate in front of doctors and police officers.  Eckert watched as doctors searched his stool.  No narcotics were found.

6. Doctors penetrated Eckert’s anus to insert an enema a third time.  Eckert was forced to defecate in front of doctors and police officers.  Eckert watched as doctors searched his stool.  No narcotics were found.

7. Doctors then x-rayed Eckert again; no narcotics were found.

8. Doctors prepared Eckert for surgery, sedated him, and then performed a colonoscopy where a scope with a camera was inserted into Eckert’s anus, rectum, colon, and large intestines.  No narcotics were found.

The summary would be comical if it weren’t so awful. According to a lawsuit filed against the police department by Eckert, not once did he give consent for any of these procedures. No illegal drugs were ever found on Eckert who, if you recall, had broken the law only insofar as having rolled through a parking lot’s stop sign. We aren’t talking about Pablo Escobar here.

There are also concerns over how the warrant for the search was authorized and carried out. As Eckert’s lawyer, Shannon Kennedy, points out:

The search warrant was overly broad and lacked probable cause.  But beyond that, the warrant was only valid in Luna County, where Deming is located.  The Gila Regional Medical Center is in Grant County.  That means all of the medical procedures were performed illegally and the doctors who performed the procedures did so with no legal basis and no consent from the patient.

In addition, even if the search warrant was executed in the correct New Mexico county, the warrant expired at 10 p.m.  Medical records show the prepping for the colonoscopy started at 1 a.m. the following day, three hours after the warrant expired.

“This is like something out of a science fiction film, anal probing by government officials and public employees,” Kennedy said.

So far no disciplinary action has taken place against the individual officers, the police department as a whole, nor the doctors who illegally performed the medical procedures. Police Chief Brandon Gigante has declined to comment specifically about this incident but said more vaguely that he and his officers  “follow the law in every aspect and we follow policies and protocols that we have in place.”

Somehow that does little to ease fears that this New Mexico town has decided that how you walk or stand makes you a drug smuggling suspect requiring intrusive searches.




Since this article first posted Deming New Mexico has practically overnight become the  destination for honeymooning male same sex marriage couples who are hoping for a honeymoon experience they will never forget.

Additionally, The American Society of Colon and Rectal Surgeons is seeking not only to book their next convention there but to get the officers involved and the Chief of Police to appear as celebrity speakers and receive their highest award The Brown Fingered Glove.

Finally I  am informed that those involved on the law enforcement side have received job offers from the TSA, DHS and the DOJ all citing their apparent experience with wanton disregard of a person’s civil rights and  their right to privacy.

And in late breaking developments (lest you think this an isolated incident I scoured the web to find and rave/rage about) Its seems a few more suits have been filed and a wee more information on the situation has come out:

Second NM lawsuit filed over body cavity searches

By JERI CLAUSING, Associated Press | November 8, 2013 | Updated: November 8, 2013 6:37pm

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — A second lawsuit was filed Friday against southern New Mexico authorities accused of illegally subjecting drug suspects to invasive body cavity searches. And the attorney who filed the cases says she has been getting calls from others saying they were detained after the uncertified drug-sniffing dog at the heart of both cases raised suspicions.

Albuquerque civil rights attorney Shannon Kennedy filed the new lawsuit against the Hidalgo County sheriff’s office on behalf of Timothy Young, who says he was strip-searched in a gas station parking lot, then taken to the hospital for a cavity search. The lawsuit claims the searches were unreasonable, and that the body cavity search was in violation of the search warrant issued. Kennedy says the warrant was issued to search his body but not body cavities.

Both men were initially pulled over for traffic violations, and the searches ensued after the county’s drug-sniffing dog, Leo, indicated he detected drugs and search warrants were issued. No drugs were found in either case, but both men are being billed by the hospitals, Kennedy said.

“The dog is alerting on the driver’s seat, and they are detaining people for hours,” Kennedy said.

The lawsuit says Leo is neither adequately trained nor properly certified for narcotics searches. It says there are no state records showing he’s properly certified under New Mexico law.

The man in the first lawsuit, David Eckert, pleaded guilty to using methamphetamine in 2008. According to the lawsuit, Hidalgo County sheriff’s deputies told Deming police officers that Eckert was known in the area for carrying drugs inside his body. Young, who filed the new lawsuit, has no drug record, according to Kennedy.

The lawsuits have raised questions about drug searches along the border. In addition to the two cases filed by Kennedy, the American Civil Liberties Union says it is preparing to sue the U.S. Customs and Border Protection on behalf of a woman who was crossing into El Paso in December and subjected to invasive searches after a drug dog alerted agents.

Attorney Laura Schauer Ives says the woman was strip-searched at the crossing, then taken to the hospital for vaginal and anal probes, a forced bowel movement, X-rays and scans. No drugs were found, the ACLU said, and the hospital is charging her thousands of dollars. Schauer Ives said the woman’s medical records refer to her being brought in both by Border Patrol and customs agents. The group has had a Freedom of Information Request pending since April to identify the officers and which departments of CBP were involved.

A spokesman for the agency, Doug Mosier, said he was unaware of the case and unable to verify such a search occurred at one of the El Paso crossings, which screen thousands of people every day.

Mosier also declined to discuss agency practices and policies on strip searches, citing the pending litigation.

Notice the key lines I have highlighted, but let me first comment on one that I did not highlight which I found most shocking which is the ACLU actually doing the job it was originally conceived and founded to do which was defend our civil liberties and rights against the abuse of government & law enforcement! Could we be finally seeing a renascence of reason over at the ACLU? Could the liberals & their Big Brother style of governing have pushed the even decidedly liberal ACLU finally too far? One can only hope so because if they have and the ACLU has woken up and smelled Big Brother’s breath breathing down out necks it’s a great day for all Americans.

Regardless of what Eckert had or had not done in the past, we are a nation who’s laws are based on the presumption of innocence. The fact the dog hit on his seat (let’s not concern ourselves with the fact the dog isn’t even certified at the moment) given Eckert’s apparent past association with an illegal substance is hardly surprising and if the cops want to go by his previous criminal history then IMO it’s hardly (given the dog’s lack of certification) probable cause for much of anything.

It through the course of writing this has also occurred to me that while many in many state police respond hostilely to your refusal to allow them to search your car just because they stopped you for some traffic violation (which while they can ask is not  legally allowed w/o your consent because they have no probable cause) by detaining you and requesting a dog to check the outside of your car. They cannot use the dog to check the inside unless it hits on an area of the vehicle. Since the article makes no mention of the dog hitting anyplace but on the driver’s seat where was the probable cause for an interior search of the vehicle?!

This is important because the warrant for the body search was based on the fact the dog hit on the driver’s seat. If that ‘evidence’ was obtained illegally, then the warrant should never have been issued in the first place and any judge worth his robes would have known that. This leads me to believe that the warrant was carefully crafted to avoid mention of this apparently illegal search and therefore the police are guilty of falsifying a warrant.

Obviously I don’t have to point out that Mr. Young’s additional similar experience with New Mexico’s ‘Finest’ raises the egregiousness level of these blatant violations of our Fourth Amendment rights to levels incalculable in their callous disregard not only for our rights but for the laws they are allegedly sworn to uphold.

As for the yet unnamed woman who’s rights were trampled at the hands of ICE I didn’t find the fact that it occurred particularly surprising. They already have had a court uphold their right to confiscate w/o warrant or reasonable cause your electronic devices (Cellphone, Lap Top, Tablet) and subject them and their digital contents to rigorous forensic scrutiny so violation of your person on a whim was only IMO a matter of time. What did surprise me is the unmitigated gall of the hospital to bill the victim for the procedures which she was involuntarily forced to endure, likely (if we go by MR’. Eckert’s experience) instead of ICE!

As if the violations of her person and rights were not enough lets really add insult to injury after we turn out to be full of shit and on shaky ground by having the hospital bill her for our arrogance! My personal money is this on a clause buried in Obamacare that makes it perfectly legal for any federal agency to force you to submit to and pay for medical procedures related to law enforcement against your will!


About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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