Dragon Laffs #1347


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Good Morning Campers!
Today’s issue is jam packed full of stuff.  So full in fact that it may take a little extra time to load.  If so, then give it a few minutes and you should be fine.
Today you’ll find a good essay, written, and another good essay, in pictures, plus many funny and serious stuff in between.

What a horrible week it’s been so far.
The UN has determined that Chemical Weapons were used in Syria and that the president of Syria, Bashar al-Assad had “carried out many crimes against humanity”.  So, they haven’t come out and said he was at fault, but I’m willing to bet that that little tid-bit will come out on Monday at 1100 hrs when the special UN task force briefs the UN Secretary General.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that, with my experience in this area, that the chemical that was used was Sarin.  It’s possible it was some other G series nerve agent but I’m going with Sarin. 

The Government is again talking about shutting itself down due to a lack of a continuing resolution to get it through the remainder of the fiscal year.  Hmm, who’d of thought that we could have gone 11 months and two weeks into the fiscal year and STILL not have a budget.  And now, they can’t even agree on ending the year on a crappy note and trying to start next year on a good one.  Is ANYONE happy with ANYONE in our administration?

And my hometown (virtually) has burnt and been destroyed…again!
Seaside Heights in New Jersey … the same part that was just rebuilt after hurricane Sandy, has burnt to the ground!  It truly ain’t fair.

Well, that’s more than enough to move to the next request, to do what we’re supposed to be doing, to give our very best to…

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Here’s a great mixture of one of my favorite men in the whole world.  I don’t care if you like his politics or not, you’ve got to admit he’s funny!  What?  Can’t see the video?  Why aren’t you reading this on line at the blog?  http://dragonlaffs.com Hey, it’s been awhile, why not buy us a cup of coffee by clicking on the donate link to the right of the blog and drop us a buck or two.

The perfect home for liberals.  Thanks for pointing this out to us K²!  I’ve never thought about it this way before…

5Their own gated community!

Here’s a great article about a war fighting capability with NO Collateral Damage!   For the whole article and a great video, click here: http://bcove.me/h1kel0mp

CHAMP lights out

 

A recent weapons flight test in the Utah desert may change future warfare after the missile successfully defeated electronic targets with little to no collateral damage.

Boeing and the U.S. Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) Directed Energy Directorate, Kirtland Air Force Base, N.M., successfully tested the Counter-electronics High-powered Microwave Advanced Missile Project (CHAMP) during a flight over the Utah Test and Training Range.

CHAMP, which renders electronic targets useless, is a non-kinetic alternative to traditional explosive weapons that use the energy of motion to defeat a target.

Artist's rendering shows a CHAMP flying over a target

During the test, the CHAMP missile navigated a pre-programmed flight plan and emitted bursts of high-powered energy, effectively knocking out the target’s data and electronic subsystems. CHAMP allows for selective high-frequency radio wave strikes against numerous targets during a single mission.

“This technology marks a new era in modern-day warfare,” said Keith Coleman, CHAMP program manager for Boeing Phantom Works. “In the near future, this technology may be used to render an enemy’s electronic and data systems useless even before the first troops or aircraft arrive.”

Power is cut to a room of computers after being hit by a high-powered microwave pulse from a Counter-electronics High-powered Advanced Missile Project.


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It’s football season and everyone has a favorite team.  And most of us have favorite college football team.  Well, that just means that with this next joke, I’ve got a pretty good chance of pissing each and everyone of you off.

Ohio State’s Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”

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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.

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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb None. That’s a sophomore course.

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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”

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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the WalMart came out and unplugged the horse.

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What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? ” “Will the defendant please rise.”

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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.

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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.

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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is going to dress only half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

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How is the Indiana football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car? He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

Okay, everybody say aaaawwwww!!!

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The Galapagos Island…mapping expedition.  This is great!  Well worth watching … if you can’t see it, go to the website.  http://dragonlaffs.com and if you do, at this point, have to go to the website, then you OWE us a cup of coffee.  Click on the donation on the right and pay up!  LOL!

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Anyone know how to cancel a bid on Ebay?
I bid $7 on a “Mickey Mouse Outfit” and
now it seems I’m less than fifteen minutes
away from owning
Obama’s entire Cabinet!
Help me out here!

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Published on Jul 16, 2013

If founder Elon Musk is right, Tesla Motors just might reinvent the American auto industry—with specialized robots building slick electric cars in a factory straight from the future. That’s where the battery-powered Model S is born.

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was… ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!”

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And yet another great essay on Obama’s ineptitude…

The Waves Are Rolling Over The Bridge.
A perspective on our president from Down Under.
In Herman Wouk’s classic World War II novel, The Caine Mutiny, there is a moment when a group of the ship’s officers are getting away from the increasingly eccentric Captain Queeq by relaxing ashore.

Suddenly the malcontent Lieutenant Keefer asks the others: “Does it occur to you that Captain Queeg may be insane?”

In fact Queeg is not insane, at least not at that time. He is simply grappling, more and more disastrously, with a job too big for him. Come the crisis of a typhoon, he becomes paralyzed and nearly sinks the ship by failing to give the obvious orders. At the subsequent court-martial he appears quite normal until he breaks down under the pressure of cross-examination. Before this, the officers have searched the regulations for guidance, but the regulations refer only to a captain who is clearly and unmistakably insane, not one who is merely guilty of eccentricity and bad judgment. At a lower level of responsibility, Queeg might have performed adequately, but with Keefer’s question, the remaining respect for Queeg’s office has gone.

Obama’s second inauguration speech may be his Queeg moment — an undeniable demonstration that, in an emergency, he is incapable of grappling with reality. For all his unceasing invocation of the word “change,” the outstanding thing about Obama has been his apparent inability to react, even to an imminent crisis. Like Queeg, he stands frozen on the bridge as the waves grow higher, or obsesses over issues like homosexuals and women in the military as the typhoon rises..

Faced with the worst looming fiscal cliff-fall in world history, Obama, like Queeg in the typhoon, has done nothing at all, but has increasingly resorted to meaningless words. His pseudo-Keynesian fiscal notions and a mantra-like repetition of old and failed ideas, suggest a serious lack of mental versatility.

Economics is not an exact science, but some of its rules are now well-known, and one is that a government cannot spend its way out of a recession.

Yet Obama does not project any sense of urgency, merely a smug, radiating sense of his own greatness. The one fiscal measure to which he seems committed — taxing the rich — is infantile stuff, like Queeg’s obsession with who ate the wardroom strawberries. Any first-year politics or economics student knows that there are not enough rich, even in as wealthy a country as the United States, to have raising their taxes make any appreciable difference.

President Reagan’s application of the Laffer Curve proved emphatically, and only a short while ago, that the way to both stimulate the economy and to increase government revenues is to lower taxes. And it is not hard to pick some areas as least where towering taxes would make no appreciable difference to public infrastructure.

Like Queeg, Obama shows an inability to change course when such a change is desperately needed. Giving 20 F-16 fighters and hundreds of tanks to Egypt was never, in my opinion, a clever idea. Even when Egypt was an unequivocal friend its security required things like armored cars to put down street violence, not these hi-tech weapons whose only conceivable use would be against Israel. Indeed, Obama seems to show no awareness that Egypt and other major Islamic countries have changed from being friends to something like enemies in a few months.

For a President of the United States there is a difference between making a bad policy choice and clinging to that policy when it is plainly completely wrong, like the Caine steaming in a circle and cutting its own tow-line. Mistakes that cannot be ignored are always someone else’s fault (refer to George Bush).

The dancing is still there, the golf, the celebs, the multi-million dollar holidays, but behind them it is possible to detect a desperate emptiness, an interconnected mosaic of failure.

The one much-boasted triumph, the killing of Osama Bin Laden, was the work of other men. One of those most responsible, Dr. Shakil Afridi, rots in the hellhole of a Pakistani jail, abandoned.
Obama’s oath to bring the Benghazi murderers to justice seems to have been forgotten as soon as it was made, something — I am not sure if there is a word for it — actually below the level of a campaign promise.
Allies have been lost or slighted in almost every part of the world, the Afghan war has brought the U.S. and NATO humiliation and Russia and China lead in Space.The defenses of the U.S.’s major allies, such as Britain, are in an even more dire situation.

This does not even consider the exploding levels of domestic poverty. Restoring flexibility to the wage system, so as to give American industry a reasonable degree of competitiveness, seems out of the question.

The Western position in Mali seems to have suddenly collapsed without warning, or without preventative action being taken, and meanwhile, we have had the North Korean threat. I somehow doubt we would have had that if Reagan had been at the helm..

What, exactly have things come to when a cockroach of a country, apparently run by real, certifiable lunatics, can threaten the United States with nuclear weapons? The typhoon waves are starting to break over the bridge.

Hal G.P. Colebatch

Hal G.P. Colebatch, a lawyer and author, has lectured in International Law and International Relations at Notre Dame University and Edith Cowan University in Western Australia and worked on the staff of two Australian Federal Ministers.

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Hotel Guest Mary Poppins
 
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
 
“Certainly madam,” he replied courteously.
 
“Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary.
“Sorry, no,” came the reply, “but room service is available all night.
 
Would you care to select something from this menu?”
 
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. “Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please,” said Mary.
 
“Certainly, madam,” he replied.
 
“And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary politely.
 
The receptionist nodded and smiled.
“In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please,” Mary mused.
 
After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.
 
The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.
 
“Morning madam…sleep well?”
“Yes, thank you,” Mary replied.
 
“Food to your liking?”
 
“Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though….they really weren’t that nice at all,” replied Mary truthfully.
 
“Oh…well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion,” said the receptionist.
 
“OK, I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
 
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written

​:

“Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!”

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From one Grandpa to another….a touching love story between grandpa and grandkids..

Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.

My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.

 As we bowed our heads he said, “God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!”

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, “That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!”

 Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, “Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?”

As I assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

 He winked at my grandson and said, “I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.”

“Really?” my grandson asked.

 “Cross my heart,” the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), “Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.”

 Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

 He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he told her, “Here, this is for you. Shove it up your ass you grouchy old bitch!”

Touches the heart doesn’t it?

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Stuttering Cat – as explained by a Grade 4 student

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says.

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

“Well,” she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.

“It sure was,” said the little girl.

“My kitty raised her back, went ‘Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,’ but before she could say ‘Fuck!,’ the Rottweiler ate her!”

The teacher had to leave the room.

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Today’s Last Word is a story in pictures…It’s a story that you’ll not forget easily…please insure you have a fresh box of tissue handy.

Check out the man in the first picture.  This is the same man in all the rest of the pictures in the series below.  God Bless him and his family.

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If he’s a hero, then she’s an angel. 
Doesn’t it make your own troubles seem somehow trivial in comparison?
Now, go wipe your eyes until next week!
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