Leprechaun Laughs #209 for September 4th 2013


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WOW! a full 48 hours after the holiday ended and you guys still look like hell!  I’M SO PROUD!

Well I was off for 4 days so I’ve a lot of catching up to play here. I took work with me intent on sitting on the fringe of things and enjoying the company and fresh air while getting something accomplished. However you’d be surprised how anti-conducive pretty women in a swimming pool, a cold beer and the sounds of a bunch of pigeons playing Texas Hold ‘Em and waiting to be fleeced are!

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A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification.

Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.

“May I see your identification, please?” asked the agent.

“I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replied the guy..

“Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry,” said the agent.

“But I can prove I’m an American!” he exclaimed. “I have a picture of Ronald

Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other.”

“This I gotta see,” replied the agent.

With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.

“By golly, you’re right!” exclaimed the agent. “Have a safe trip back to Chicago .”

“Thanks!” he said. “But how did you know I was from Chicago ?”

The agent replied, “I recognized Obama in the middle.

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Football Eats!

Yup its football season again. Wither its Friday night under the lights high school games or Tail Gating  at your favorite College Team’s Stadium (Notre Dame!) Saturday or Sunday or just watching on the tube at home, the one thing you can be sure of beside there’s going to be a winner and a loser is there will be a lot of hungry people!

BLue Cheese Corn BRead Pulled Pork

Blue Cheese Corn Bread Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Prep time: 30 minutes
Cook time: 3 hours
Total time: 3 hours, 30 minutes
Yields: 24 sandwiches

This recipe makes extra pulled pork to be enjoyed on its own or as leftovers.

(or you know you could make a double batch of corn muffins or use slider bun and give those to people you don’t care about impressing or wouldn’t know the difference!)

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 – 2 pounds Half Pork Loin, cut in half lengthwise
  • Salt, to taste
  • Ground Black Pepper, to taste
  • 2 tablespoons Vegetable Oil
  • 32 ounces Beef Broth
  • 2 cups water
  • 3 1/2 cups your favorite Barbecue Sauce, divided
  • 1/2 onion
  • 1 teaspoon Paprika

Muffins:

  • Cooking Spray
  • 8.5 ounces Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
  • 1 cup Blue Cheese Crumbles
  • 3 Large Eggs
  • 1/2 cup Sweet Corn
  • 1/3 cup Sour Cream
  • 1 teaspoon Granulated Sugar

Directions:

  1. Season the pork loin with salt and pepper.
  2. In a medium pot, heat the oil over medium high heat; sear the pork on each side until golden. Discard excess oil, add beef broth, water, 2 cups barbecue sauce, onion and paprika. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer and braise, covered for 2 1/2 – 3 hours until fork tender. If necessary, add water halfway through the cooking process to keep the pork submerged.
  3. Preheat oven to 400°. Coat 2 12-cup muffin pans with cooking spray.
  4. Prepare muffins: In a medium bowl, combine the muffin mix, blue cheese, eggs, corn, sour cream and sugar, stir until incorporated. Evenly distribute among muffin cups. Bake for 15 minutes.
  5. Allow to cool. 
  6. Preheat oven to broil.
  7. Reduce any remaining liquid from the pork by stirring over high heat until 1 – 1 1/2 cups liquid remains. Shred the pork and press into an 8-inch metal baking pan.
  8. Stir in the remaining barbecue sauce, broil for 10-15 minutes. Stir and broil another 10-15 minutes to create a char on the pork.
  9. Slice the muffins in half and fill with pulled pork.

NOW personally we her at the DL/LL Test Kitchen don’t care for Jiffy Brand Corn Bread mix. We find it to have a bitter chemical after taste which I think comes from the lye they use in processing the dried corn into corn meal. We much prefer Martha White’s Corn Bread mix and I use that w/o any appreciable difference in the end product. It’s all about what you like.

Since the original recipe called for Jiffy brand that what I’m listing here but as always feel free to make your own substitutions based on personal preference &/or experiment to make the recipe your own. For example I add a little liquid smoke to my braising liquid & use beer instead of water.

Either way were I you, I’d hold a couple back for yourself when you put these out there if you expect to actually get any

Blue Cheese Dip with Almonds

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Fresh and roasted vegetables, apple slices and pear slices go well with this versatile dip, which makes a delicious centerpiece for a crudité plate.

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: N/A

Serves: 3 cups

Ingredients:

8-oz. package cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups refrigerated blue cheese dressing
1 1/3 cups almonds, chopped and toasted (smokehouse almonds really make it killer!)
1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese
2 Tbsp. cranberries

Assorted cut-up fresh vegetables and fruits (such as carrots, bell peppers, celery, broccoli, apples and small clusters of grapes)

Preparation:

    Beat cream cheese in medium bowl with an electric mixer until smooth and soft.
    Gently incorporate blue cheese dressing by hand, maintaining the texture of blue cheese chunks as much as possible.
    Stir in 1 cup of nuts, cranberries and crumbled blue cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
    Transfer dip to decorative bowl and keep refrigerated until serving. Sprinkle remaining almonds around edges of dip.

Tip: This dip also makes a delicious topping for baked potatoes and adds delicious flavor to a roast beef sandwich.

Note: This recipe can be made 1 day ahead.

I have to admit that with a crusty toasted garlic roll piled high with rare roast beef and this spread in one hand and a cold beer in the other you just might not care so much that your team loss because you’ve come out a winner regardless.

Piquant Poems & Puns

There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her.
To cry, when you came,
“Oh dear! What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over.”

        *********

The Lament of an Aging (badly) Dragon

My nookie days are over;
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal;
Is now my water spout.

Time was when of its own accord;
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I have a full time job;
To find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing;
The way it would behave.
For every single morning;
It would stand and watch me shave.

As old age approaches;
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its withered head;
And watch me tie my shoes.
        *********

50 Shades of Grey

The Missus Dragon bought a book, from the local bookstore today,
I had a look inside her bag, t’was ‘Fifty Shades Of  Grey’.
Well I just left her to it, and at 10 I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared, the sight filled me with dread.
In her left she held a rope; and in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor, and then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago, I might have had a peek.
But Missus Dragon hasn’t weathered well. She’s eighty four next week!
Watching her bump and grind could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse, she toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet, a couple minutes later.
She put her teeth back in and said, “I am a dominater!”

Now if you knew Missus Dragon, you’d see just why I spluttered.
I’d spent two months in traction, for the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked, bent forward just a bit.

I went to hold her, sensual like, and stood on her left tit.
Missus Dragon screamed, her  teeth shot out. My god what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out, “Step on the other one!”

Well readers, I can’t tell no more, about what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair, turned fifty shades of grey.

        *********

Impish was nimble,
But Impish was quick.
So his virgins preferred
The candlestick!

        *********

A carpenter living in Crewe,
Who had nothing whatever to do,
Once assisted a whore
With the hinge of her door,
But he made her pay for the screw.

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Caller ID…. how people save you in their contacts

Can’t see this hysterical video? You’re not at the blog then! FOR SHAME!

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More of Less

We are seeing a great deal more of less these days;

WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY!

*Our Phones ~ Wireless

*Cooking ~ Fireless

*Cars ~ Keyless

*Food ~ Fatless

*Tires ~ Tubeless

*Dress ~ Sleeveless

*Youth ~ Jobless

*Leaders ~ Shameless

*Relationships ~ Meaningless

*Attitude ~ Careless

*Wives ~ Fearless

*Babies ~ Fatherless

*Feelings ~ Heartless

*Education ~ Valueless

*Children ~ Mannerless

Everything is becoming LESS but still…

Our hopes are  ~ Endless.

In fact we are ~ Speechless

And Congress is – CLUELESS!

And our President is – WORTHLESS!

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My local morning breakfast hang out recently redid its restrooms including the labeling of the facilities

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IF he’s a Dragon, then I’d have to say yes definitely without a doubt.

 

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Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

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Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years”?

The fairy godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

“The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I’m living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother”

The fairy godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, “I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.”

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At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: “You have one more wish; what shall it be?”

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, “Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.”

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes.

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Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & swept her up in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered…

“Bet you’re sorry now  you neutered me.”

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BigBrothera2 Highlighting bold and/or red colored font are my editorial emphasis in lieu of post article commentary.

LIFE WITH BIG BROTHER

NSA ‘goes after man who mocked agency’

The NSA has claimed copyright infringement after a businessman created a parody version of the agency’s logo.

The National Security Agency, the secretive federal department under fire for spying on U.S. citizens, is now accused of crushing the free-speech rights of a businessman clowning around about the NSA.

LibertyManiacs.com, a company that markets “freedom products for liberty lovers,” says the NSA is using a claim of copyright infringement to stop it from selling T-shirts and other products making fun of the Big Brother agency.

“Two months ago the NSA’s lawyers came after our parodies of the rogue agency and forced our host to take them down,” the company said Friday on its Facebook page.

At issue is use of the NSA logo, which was partially altered by LibertyManiacs owner Dan McCall. He kept the name of the agency and most of the artwork intact, but changed the bottom portion from “United States of America” to the laugh-inspiring “Peeping while you’re sleeping.”

Underneath the doctored logo is the phrase “The NSA, the only part of government that actually listens.”

In an interview with online journalist Ben Swann, McCall said, “I tried to visually take the most obvious direction at pointing at them that I could. It was their logo. I just tried to adulterate it a little bit and put a few jabs in there and that will be it. So it wasn’t a huge design coup and it did the job basically.”

After the shirt went on sale, the NSA sent a series of “cease and desist” orders in June, seeking to halt further sales of the items.

McCall commented at the time: “Well, on the positive side I could get the unenviable honorific of being ‘the 1st man to receive a cease and desist from the National Security Agency for telling a joke.’”

The NSA’s real logo

The online retailer Zazzle.com subsequently yanked the shirt from its site, giving this explanation:

“Unfortunately, it appears that your product, The NSA, contains content that is in conflict with one or more of our acceptable content guidelines. We will be removing this product from the Zazzle Marketplace shortly.

“Policy Notes: Design contains an image or text that may infringe on intellectual property rights. We have been contacted by the intellectual property right holder and we will be removing your product from Zazzle’s Marketplace due to infringement claims.”

Zazzle’s Diana Adair told WND her company couldn’t comment on the specifics of this incident, but issued a prepared statement saying: “While Zazzle does not manually review all designs that are uploaded, when a product is brought to our attention that violates our terms of service, we take swift action to remove it.  We encourage the Zazzle community to use our platform to share their creativity, and we ask that they continue to maintain an open dialogue with us to ensure Zazzle features only the highest quality merchandise for our customers.”

McCall told Swann it wasn’t just one NSA T-shirt that got the hook from Zazzle.

“In terms of shirts, two, and then maybe four or five bumper stickers,” he noted. “Basically anything remotely relating to the NSA was taken down. So I’m not sure if that was subsequently a blanket policy that Zazzle themselves put up because they don’t want to deal with the hassle and they didn’t want to spend time interpreting each thing knowing they would run into problems or if they were plugged into NSA legal and they were watching things as they go.”

He added the NSA’s action is clearly a violation of his First Amendment right to free speech.

“First Amendment issues affect everybody and it specifically affects everybody who is expressing themselves – any artist, whether on the right or on the left or in the middle or whatever side,” McCall told Swann. “If you are not allowed to express yourself artistically or in many other ways, we have taken a turn for the worse.”

In a video news report about the case, Swann admitted, “This is a story I had a hard time believing until I looked into it for myself.”

“What you need to know is that because the work put out by LibertyManiacs is clearly a parody, it is not copyright infringement,” he stressed. “According to both the Electronic Freedom Foundation and the American Bar Association, ‘parody is recognized as a type of fair use, like other commentary and criticism, and courts recognize that a parody must often take recognizable elements from the work it comments upon.’”

The case has also caught the attention of Mark Gibbs of Computerworld, who calls the NSA’s actions “monstrously wrong.”

“First of all I’m amazed that any U.S. government agency can get away with claiming violation of ‘their’ intellectual property rights when they are, in reality, part of us, and we the people, paid for said intellectual property. Sure, go after those ripoff artists in England or France should they dare to illegally use the hallowed logos of U.S. government agencies, but going after U.S. citizens for parody?” Gibbs noted.

“Second, I’m even more amazed that the NSA doesn’t recognize the inherent PR problem they have created by a bureaucratic response to something that, given the negative publicity they’re already receiving, can only make them look even more devious and manipulative than we now think they are, which is a brand new realization for most Americans.”

“Of course, even if in reality the NSA has no legal leg to stand on, it is the 800-pound gorilla and can flex its muscles for what is, with respect to its budget, a trivial cost,” he added.

At LibertyManiacs, McCall has referred to executives at the NSA as “jerks,” and he’s not backing down in his battle to sell his merchandise.

He is now marketing the censored shirts and related parody items through another online platform at Cafepress.

In an ironic twist, while the NSA is claiming copyright infringement, the agency itself is allegedly using without permission an image for its top-secret data-mining program known as PRISM.

The NSA’s PRISM logo, shown here upside down for comparison to the image below.

As WND reported in June, PRISM, which stands for “protect, respond, inform, secure and monitor,” is the NSA’s massive spy program scouring email and phone records.

Its official logo has reportedly been purloined from Adam Hart-Davis, formerly of the BBC program “Tomorrow’s World.”

Adam’s son, Damon Hart-Davis, has said in the Register newspaper that the image is free for use, as long as there’s acknowledgment of the source and a link to the material online, neither of which have been provided by the NSA.

The original prism image by Adam Hart-Davis, formerly of the BBC.

Some Americans are taking to the Internet to say that federal and state government programs paid for by tax dollars are not subject to copyright.

“The U.S. government CANNOT claim copyright. Period,” said Steve Moody. “Anything created by the U.S. government is automatically in the public domain.”

And Ron Lahti noted: “We all need to the raise the bullsh-t flag on this! The NSA is a ‘publicly funded’ government agency. How can they claim ‘copyright infringement?’ It’s like saying everyone who publishes or manufactures anything with any of our other federal ‘public’ government agency symbols is violating copyright laws. Are we going to have every manufacturer and retailer that makes or sells any of our T-shirts, hats, coffee mugs, bumper/window stickers, etc. that contains, for example, ‘U.S. Army’ or any other military-service logo, from making these products available just because they have an ‘official’ emblem that is also now ‘copyrighted’ with their design? This is beyond fringe lunacy and seems as the NSA is just grasping at straws, for whatever reason. This action by our government is obnoxiously outrageous, and is nothing more than an arrogantly suppressive strong-arm tactic to infringe on the rights and liberties of the American taxpaying people!”

Voltaire “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to  criticize.” ― Voltaire

 

 

How comforting that the NSA/Federal Government has lawyers on staff that can so easily be suborned into willingly lying about Federal laws in a blatant attempt at  censorcism ( a First Amendment Violation) of  satiric criticism of what are at BEST questionable actions with regard to our civil liberties granted rights to privacy and protection against unreasonable and unwarranted search!

WHY isn’t the Justice Department crying foul! WHY is Obama silent on this travesty by his own government?

I’LL TELL YOU WHY! Because this is EXACTLY what Obama meant by ‘Hope & Change’, not hope and change for everyone, only for liberals who seek to control your life your actions and your thoughts via Big Brother.

Welcome to your Orwellian Nightmare. Don’t bother trying to wake up its too late your resistance has been rendered futile.

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ZIP CODES…..THIS IS NEAT!

http://zipskinny.com/

Check out your zip code.  You will not believe the information you will find there!

Also check out other zip codes where you might be traveling or thinking of moving to.

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We here at DL/LL Electronic Media LTD.recently conducted a poll as to whether men prefer women with large thighs or women with thin thighs.  The results were pretty surprising.

10 percent of those men surveyed preferred women with large thighs.  10 percent of the men preferred women with thin thighs.  And the other 80 percent preferred what’s in-between.

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At MTV’s Video Music Awards on Sunday night, Miley Cyrus brought the concept of twerking into living rooms the world over. What is it?
According to UrbanDictionary.com, “twerk” means:
“The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or
laughter in ones intended audience.”

 

The Top 5 Signs You’re Bad at Twerking

  1. The first time you tried it, the neighbor’s dog took advantage of you.
  2. “Mrs. Obama, maybe a playground dedication isn’t quite the place for that.”
  3. They’re not comparing you with Young Skinny Elvis, or even with Fat Vegas Elvis; they’re comparing you with Dead Elvis.
  4. One of your ovaries just “crowned.”

And the Number One Sign You’re Bad at Twerking…

  1. “That’s very impressive, sir, but if you keep moving like that, I won’t be able to complete your prostate exam.”

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I’m just sayin’!….

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They got the sequence all wrong though!

It goes (Searing) Heat (with optional humidity) – (High) Winds – (Torrential but short lived) Rain (which still allows for drought conditions despite flooding) – (Record) Cold (with optional wind &/or rain).

Then we have our seasonal weather option from mid-August until late September –  Hurricane, which should be depicted similar to wind with the addition of the rain background. The person should be mid-illustration and perpendicular to the ground hanging onto something for dear life as a cow flies by.

SPEAKING of the weather..this just in from reader K-Squared about what we can expect for the upcoming winter:

HEAVY SNOW / EXTREME COLD –

+ “Farmers’ Almanac” predicts a “bitterly cold” U.S. winter – The Farmers’ Almanac is using words like “piercing cold,” “bitterly cold” and “biting cold” to describe the upcoming winter.

The 197-year-old publication that hit newsstands Monday predicts a winter storm will hit the Northeast around the time the Super Bowl is played in New Jersey. It also predicts a colder-than-normal winter for two-thirds of the country and heavy snowfall in the Midwest, Great Lakes and New England. “We’re using a very strong four-letter word to describe this winter, which is C-O-L-D. It’s going to be very cold.”

Based on planetary positions, sunspots and lunar cycles, the almanac’s secret formula is largely unchanged since the first almanac in 1818. Modern scientists don’t put much stock in sunspots or tidal action, but the almanac says its forecasts used by readers to plan weddings and plant gardens are correct about 80 percent of the time.

Last year, the forecast called for cold weather for the eastern and central U.S. with milder temperatures west of the Great Lakes. It started just the opposite, but ended up that way.

The publication’s elusive prognosticator said he was off by only a couple of days on two of the season’s biggest storms: a February blizzard that paralyzed the Northeast with 3 feet of snow in some places and a sloppy storm the day before spring’s arrival that buried parts of New England. 

Note to self buy additional fleece pants, hoodies, brown gold ingredients, Bailey’s and Bushmills seems like we’re going to need them!

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13 Things the Government Is Trying to Hide from You

Our government is intentionally keeping massive amounts of information secret from voters.  http://www.alternet.org/civil-liberties/13-things-government-trying-hide-you?paging=off

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“We believe most Americans would be stunned to learn the details of how these secret court opinions have interpreted…the Patriot Act.  As we see it, there is now a significant gap between what most Americans think the law allows and what the government secretly claims the law allows.  This is a problem, because it is impossible to have an informed public debate about what the law should say when the public doesn’t know what its government thinks the law says.” —U.S. senators Ron Wyden and Mark Udall

The President, the Head of the National Security Agency, the Department of Justice, the House and Senate Intelligence Committees, and the Judiciary, are intentionally keeping massive amounts of information about surveillance of US and other people secret from voters.

Additionally, some are, to say it politely, not being factually accurate in what they are telling the public. These inaccurate statements are either intentional lies meant to mislead the public or they are evidence that the people who are supposed to be in charge of oversight do not know what they are supposed to be overseeing. The most recent revelations from the Washington Post, by way of Edward Snowden, indicate the NSA breaks privacy rules or overstep its legal authority thousands of times each year. Whether people are lying or do not know what they are doing, either way, this is a significant crisis. Here are 13 examples.

1. The government seizes and searches all Internet and text communications which enter or leave the US.

On August 8, 2013, the New York Times reported that the NSA secretly collects virtually all international email and text communications which cross the US borders in or out. As the ACLU says, “the NSA thinks it’s okay to intercept and then read Americans’ emails, so long as it does so really quickly.  But that is not how the Fourth Amendment works…the invasion of Americans’ privacy is real and immediate.”

2. The government created and maintains secret backdoor access into all databases in order to search for information on US citizens.

On August 9, 2013, the Guardian revealed yet another Edward Snowden leaked document which points out “the National Security Agency has a secret backdoor into its vast databases under a legal authority enabling it to search for US citizens’ email and phone calls without a warrant.” This is a new set of secrets about surveillance of people in the US. This new policy of 2011 allows searching by US person names and identifiers when the NSA is collecting data. The document declares that analysts should not implement these queries until an oversight process has been developed. No word on whether such a process was developed or not.

3. The government operates a vast database which allows it to sift through millions of records on the Internet to show nearly everything a person does.

Recent disclosures by Snowden and Glenn Greenwald of the Guardian demonstrate the NSA operates a massive surveillance program called XKeyscore. The surveillance program has since been confirmed by other CIA officials. It allows the government to enter a person’s name or other question into the program and sift through oceans of data to produce everything there is on the Internet by or about that person or other search term.

4. The government has a special court which meets in secret to authorize access for the FBI and other investigators to millions and millions of US phone, text, email and business records.

There is a special court of federal judges which meets in secret to authorize the government to gather and review millions and millions of phone and Internet records.  This court, called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA court), allows government lawyers to come before them in secret, with no representatives of the public or press or defense counsel allowed, to argue unopposed for more and more surveillance. This is the court which, in just one of its thousands of rulings, authorized the handing over of all call data created by Verizon within the US and between the US and abroad to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The public would never have known about the massive surveillance without the leaked documents from Snowden.

5. The government keeps top secret nearly all the decisions of the FISA court.

Nearly all of the thousands of decisions of the FISA court are themselves classified as top secret. Though the public is not allowed to know what the decisions are, public records do show how many times the government asked for surveillance authorization and how many times they were denied. These show that in the last three years, the government asked for authorization nearly 5,000 times and they were never denied. In its entire history, the FISA court has denied just 11 of 34,000 requests for surveillance.

6. The government is fighting to keep top secret a key 2011 decision of the FISA court even after the court said it could be made public.

There is an 86-page 2011 top-secret opinion of the FISA court which declared some of the National Security Agency’s surveillance programs unconstitutional. The administration, through the Department of Justice, refused to hand this over to the Electronic Frontier Foundation which filed a public records request and a lawsuit to make this public. First the government said it would hurt the FISA court to allow this to be made public. Then the FISA court itself said it can be made public. Despite this, the government is still fighting to keep it secret.

7. The government uses secret National Security Letters (NSL) issued by the FBI to seize tens of thousands of records.

With an NSL letter the FBI can demand financial records from any institution from banks to casinos, all telephone records, subscriber information, credit reports, employment information, and all email records of the target as well as the email addresses and screen names for anyone who has contacted that account. Those who received the NSLs from the FBI are supposed to keep them secret.  The reason is supposed to be for foreign counterintelligence. There is no requirement for court approval at all.  So no requests have been denied. The Patriot Act has made this much easier for the FBI.

According to congressional records, there have been over 50,000 of these FBI NSL requests in the last three years. This does not count the numerous times where the FBI persuades the disclosure of information without getting a NSL. Nor does it count FBI requests made just to find out who an email account belongs to. These reported NSL numbers also do not include the very high numbers of administrative subpoenas issued by the FBI which only require approval of a member of the local US Attorney’s office.

8. The National Security head was caught not telling the truth to Congress about the surveillance of millions of US citizens.

The director of National Intelligence, James Clapper, told the US Senate on March 12, 2013 that the NSA did not wittingly collect information on millions of Americans. After the Snowden Guardian disclosures, Clapper admitted to NBC that what he said to Congress was the “least untruthful” reply he could think of. The agency no longer denies that it collects the emails of American citizens. In a recent white paper, the NSA now admits it does “collect telephony metadata in bulk,” but does not unconstitutionally “target” American citizens.

9. The government falsely assured the US public in writing that privacy protections are significantly stronger than they actually are and senators who knew better were not allowed to disclose the truth.

Two US senators wrote the NSA a letter objecting to one “inaccurate statement” and another “somewhat misleading statement” made by the NSA in their June 2013 public fact sheet about surveillance. What are the inaccurate or misleading statements?  The public is not allowed to know because the senators had to point out the details in a secret classified section of their letter.

In the public part of their letter they did say “In our judgment this inaccuracy is significant, as it portrays protections for Americans’ privacy as being significantly stronger than they actually are…”  The senators point out that the NSA public statement assures people that communications of US citizens which are accidently acquired are promptly destroyed unless it is evidence of a crime.  However, the senators wrote that the NSA does in fact deliberately search the records of American citizens and that the NSA has said repeatedly that it is not reasonably possible to identify the number of people located in the US whose communications have been reviewed under the authority of the FISA laws. The NSA responded to these claims in an odd way.  It did not say publicly what the misleading or inaccurate statements were nor did it correct the record, instead it just deleted the fact sheet from the NSA website.

10. The chief defender of spying in the House of Representatives, the chair of the oversight intelligence subcommittee, did not tell the truth or maybe did not know the truth about surveillance.

Mike Rogers, chair of the House Permanent Intelligence Subcommittee, repeatedly told Congress and the public on TV talk shows in July that there was no government surveillance of phone calls or emails. “They do not record your e-mails…None of that was happening, none of it – I mean, zero.” Later, Snowden and Glenn Greenwald of the Guardian disclosed the NSA program called X-keyscore, which intercepts 1.7 billion emails, phone calls and other types of communications each day. Now the questions swirl about Rogers, whether he lied, or was lied to by those who engaged in surveillance, or did not understand the programs to which he was supposed to be providing oversight.

11. The House intelligence oversight committee repeatedly refused to provide basic surveillance information to elected members of the House of Representatives, Republican and Democrat.

The House intelligence oversight committee refused to allow any members of Congress outside the committee to see a 2011 document that described the NSA mass phone record surveillance. This has infuriated Republicans and Democrats who have tried to get basic information to carry out their mandated oversight obligations.

Republican Representative Morgan Griffith of Virginia wrote the House Committee on Intelligence on June 25, 2013, July 12, 2013, July 22, 2013, and July 23 2013 asking for basic information on the authorization “allowing the NSA to continue collecting data about Americans’ telephone calls.” He received no response to those requests.

After asking for basic information from the House Committee about the surveillance programs, Democrat Congressman Alan Grayson was told the committee voted to deny his request on a voice vote.  When he followed up and asked for a copy of the recorded vote he was told he could not get the information because the transcript of the committee hearing was classified.

12. The paranoia about secrecy of surveillance is so bad in the House of Representatives that an elected member of Congress was threatened for passing around copies of the Snowden disclosures which had been already printed in newspapers worldwide.

Representative Alan Grayson was threatened with sanctions for passing around copies of the Snowden information on the House floor, the same information published by the Guardian and many other newspapers around the world.

13. The Senate oversight committee refused to allow a dissenting senator to publicly discuss his objections to surveillance.

When Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) tried to amend the surveillance laws to require court orders before the government could gather communications of American citizens and to disclose how many Americans have had their communications gathered, he lost in a secret 2012 hearing of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence. He was also prohibited from publicly registering or explaining his opposition for weeks.

These attempts to keep massive surveillance secrets from the public are aggravated by the constant efforts to minimize the secrets and maximize untruths. Most notably, despite all this documented surveillance, on August 6, 2013, the President said on the Jay Leno show “We don’t have a domestic spying program.”  Some commentators think the government is twisting the real meaning of words with flimsy legal arguments and irrational word games. Others say the President is engaged in “Orwellian newspeak.” More than a few say the President was not telling the truth.

Others who are defending the surveillance may not actually know what is going on but think they do because the government, like the President, is telling them there is nothing to worry about. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, Chair of Senate Intelligence Committee, the congressional oversight committee which is to protect people from unlawful spying, and another chief defender of surveillance, publicly responded to Edward Snowden’s claims to have the ability to wiretap anyone if he had their personal email by saying, “I am not a high-tech techie, but I have been told that is not possible.” How that squares with revelations about the Xkeyscore program is not known. She also stated her committee’s position about protecting the privacy of people against government surveillance, “We’re always open to change, but that does not mean there will be any.”

Conclusion

President Obama just promised the nation that he would set up an independent group of outside experts to “step back and review our capabilities – particularly our surveillance technologies.” Days later Obama appointed the director of National Intelligence, James Clapper, the same person who has admitted he did not tell Congress the truth about the program, to establish a review group to assess whether surveillance is being done in a manner that maintains the public trust. After an uproar about the fox guarding the henhouse, the White House reversed itself and said Clapper will not choose the members of the group after all. The names of the members have not been made public as of the time of this writing.

Bill Quigley is a human rights lawyer and professor at Loyola University New Orleans College of Law. He is also a member of the legal collective of School of Americas Watch.

I said it before (above) and I’ll say it again:

Welcome to your Orwellian Nightmare.

Don’t bother trying to wake up- its too late your resistance has been rendered futile by the Obama, the NSA & the Libatards. Worst of all everyone of you who has read what Impish and I have been saying the last 5 years and ignored our warnings and predictions are at fault! You did nothing and they won because of it.

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #209 for September 4th 2013

  1. Scott says:

    Hello
    I’m a new visitor here and must thank you for the humour you have made such an effort to supply. What a wonderful start to the day! The very last piece, “About lethalleprechaun”, is by far and away the funniest piece of writing I have read in years.

  2. hdclark says:

    GREAT!! news letter today.

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