Wow the last August issue of Leprechaun Laughs! This summer has really flown by! I’ve been semi phoning it in all summer and I still have yet to make a serious dent in all the junk on my hard drive. I may have to think about extending the clean out until at least Thanksgiving. Especially since Labor Day denotes the start of fall classes for Molly and this time around for me too. Have to keep up with the certifications and education since hackers, sneak,s thieves and Libatard Big Brother keep coming up with new ways to breach out computers and plunder our private info
Speaking of Labor Day, this time next week we’ll all be hard back at our labors post Labor Day 3 day weekend. Our last long weekend for this year will be behind us, unless you have a very generous boss who is feeling extra thankful come Thanksgiving.
The post Labor Day time of year brings so many signs of the impending Fall Season, no more sightings of Impish parading around in tennis whites, the most active time for Hurricane Season for those of us on the Gulf Coast. The
noisy inconsiderate brats I MEAN eager to learn children returning to the bus stops for school and bus drivers who take perverse pleasure in seeing just how long a traffic back up they can create every morning on their routes. The Ice Cream truck with their teeth grindingly irritating electronic calliope music of mind liquefying doom will also cease operations shortly for the winter while their marketing departments work feverously on a new midi jingle to replace the one you have almost succeeded in tuning out.
A near miraculous & continuous transformation starts happening in stores too from now until St. Patrick’s Day. By Tuesday the 2nd the seasonal aisles of the stores will be totally devoid of any signs of summer for which you will now have to search the clearance & mark down lanes. Seasonal will now be dominated with bric-a-brac denoting fall only to be replaced shortly the month long temptation of candy and assorted garish paper decoration products for Halloween which will also see an momentary upsweep in toilet paper, bar soap and egg sales to the under legal age crowd.
As soon as Halloween arrives the transformation to Thanksgiving items will sweep the stores as if done by exiting for the year witches on their way out. The Puritans & Indians upon their exit will thoughtfully have stocked the shelves with Christmas Holiday seasonal items and filled the stores to bursting with material possessions to purchase. You will be unavoidably caught up ‘in the spirit of giving & the season’ thereby proving not only the depth of your love for those on your gift list but the depth of your ignorance for the true meaning of the season yet again while store owners weep with relief at finally turning a profit for the year.
Santa on his way back to the North Pole will have his elves scurrying to restock the seasonal aisle for New Year’s . The New Years Babe and Father time seemingly get a pass on stocking the seasonal aisle while we all engage in the Post Holiday Depression of maxed out credit cards and seek solace for ourselves in the January Whites Sale.
Who does the stocking for Valentine’s Day is still somewhat of a mystery. Best theorists hold that the Candy & Greeting Card industry employ all the worlds Ninjas and unemployed cherubs to get the deed done and the Cherubs are responsible for stocking the shelves for St Patrick’s Day once they quivers are empty.
Fortunately St Patrick, us Leprechauns, the Fairies and all the Irish folk are followed by a Holiday void of sorts as by the end of the day we’re all too far in our cups to actually do much of anything and the following day about all we can do is moan, hiss at sunlight and swear to take the Tippler’s Oath never to drink again.
Global Facts About Sex
At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex – right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading e-mails.
You hang in there, Sunshine! You too Impish!
Labor Day: How it Came About; What it Means
Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
Founder of Labor Day
More than 100 years after the first Labor Day observance, there is still some doubt as to who first proposed the holiday for workers.
Some records show that Peter J. McGuire, general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners and a cofounder of the American Federation of Labor, was first in suggesting a day to honor those “who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold.”
But Peter McGuire’s place in Labor Day history has not gone unchallenged. Many believe that Matthew Maguire, a machinist, not Peter McGuire, founded the holiday. Recent research seems to support the contention that Matthew Maguire, later the secretary of Local 344 of the International Association of Machinists in Paterson, N.J., proposed the holiday in 1882 while serving as secretary of the Central Labor Union in New York. What is clear is that the Central Labor Union adopted a Labor Day proposal and appointed a committee to plan a demonstration and picnic.
The First Labor Day
The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City, in accordance with the plans of the Central Labor Union. The Central Labor Union held its second Labor Day holiday just a year later, on September 5, 1883.
In 1884 the first Monday in September was selected as the holiday, as originally proposed, and the Central Labor Union urged similar organizations in other cities to follow the example of New York and celebrate a “workingmen’s holiday” on that date. The idea spread with the growth of labor organizations, and in 1885 Labor Day was celebrated in many industrial centers of the country.
Labor Day Legislation
Through the years the nation gave increasing emphasis to Labor Day. The first governmental recognition came through municipal ordinances passed during 1885 and 1886. From them developed the movement to secure state legislation. The first state bill was introduced into the New York legislature, but the first to become law was passed by Oregon on February 21, 1887. During the year four more states — Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York — created the Labor Day holiday by legislative enactment. By the end of the decade Connecticut, Nebraska, and Pennsylvania had followed suit. By 1894, 23 other states had adopted the holiday in honor of workers, and on June 28 of that year, Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September of each year a legal holiday in the District of Columbia and the territories.
A Nationwide Holiday
The form that the observance and celebration of Labor Day should take was outlined in the first proposal of the holiday — a street parade to exhibit to the public “the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations” of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families. This became the pattern for the celebrations of Labor Day. Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civic significance of the holiday. Still later, by a resolution of the American Federation of Labor convention of 1909, the Sunday preceding Labor Day was adopted as Labor Sunday and dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.
The character of the Labor Day celebration has undergone a change in recent years, especially in large industrial centers where mass displays and huge parades have proved a problem. This change, however, is more a shift in emphasis and medium of expression. Labor Day addresses by leading union officials, industrialists, educators, clerics and government officials are given wide coverage in newspapers, radio, and television.
The vital force of labor added materially to the highest standard of living and the greatest production the world has ever known and has brought us closer to the realization of our traditional ideals of economic and political democracy. It is appropriate, therefore, that the nation pay tribute on Labor Day to the creator of so much of the nation’s strength, freedom, and leadership — the American worker.
SPEAKING OF OBSERVING HOLIDAYS- Here is a free bit of medical advice for all our good readers:
You might want to consider doubling up on your Lipitor, Oatmeal, Cheerios and/or other assorted cholesterol lowering related regimens for the remainder of the week.
Impish claims there is a little known holiday of extreme importance to us that will take place on Saturday and feature prominently in his issue. Apparently this holiday is reputed to scare Al Qaida and Cardiologist nearly to death every year so I think I’d follow his advice.
He won’t tell me what it is but he claims its bigger and more important that National Pie Day and considering how much of a store Impish sets by pie that’s a pretty significant statement!
Obama was asleep in the white house and awoke to see Washington’s ghost. He asked, “George, how can I make this country better?”
Washington said, “Be honest with the people like I was.”
Obama went back to sleep and awoke again this time to Thomas Jefferson and asked, “Tom, how can I make this country better?”
Jefferson said, “Love the Constitution like I did.”
Again Obama fell asleep and awoke this time to Lincoln and asked, “Abe, how can I make this country better?”
Lincoln replied, “Go see a play.”
Brilliant! Updated to this century and the “information age.”
- You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…
- If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
COSTELLO: For my office?
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘W’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can track my money with?
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. At no extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on ‘START.’
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away…. Florida or the moon?”
The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????”
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”
The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”
The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”
She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HELLLOOOOOOO….,” answered the blond… “They’re watch dogs!”
OK! OK! I’ll stop the blonde jokes! I’ll switch to ones about mythical blue scaled giant lizards- there about on par with Blondes IQ wise and they’re harder to find so they whine about the jokes less!
Another sure sign of fall is pumpkins, a favorite produce of mine. Here is an early jump on a new twist for the use of pumpkin.
Pumpkin Pie Fall Smoothie
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1 teaspoon agave syrup
- 1 cup pumpkin puree
- 2 teaspoons cinnamon
- 1 apple, cored
- Dried cranberries (or craisins)
Combine all ingredients except cranberries in blender and blend until smooth. Top with cranberries.
Makes 3 cups
Seems to me with a little thought/effort this could be turned into a mousse desert or with a little Dark or Spiced Rum (macerate the dried cranberries in it first) a fine adult chilly fall evening beverage.
DETROIT – The Canary In The Coal Mine Private Enterprise Built It, Government Destroyed It.
CAUSE – 60 Years of Democrats + Public Sector Unions
SOLUTION – Privatize Government Services Shrink All Government – City, County, State and Federal Smaller Government = Better Government
The Work versus Welfare Trade-Off: 2013 | Cato Institute
A real eye-opener!
Considering that welfare benefits aren’t taxed, many are better off quitting their jobs and going on welfare….i.e. living off the taxes paid by people who work.
“not only did the value of such benefits greatly exceed the poverty level but, because welfare benefits are tax-free, their dollar value was greater than the amount of take-home income a worker would receive from an entry-level job.”
“The current welfare system provides such a high level of benefits that it acts as a disincentive for work. Welfare currently pays more than a minimum-wage job in 35 states, even after accounting for the Earned Income Tax Credit, and in 13 states it pays more than $15 per hour.”
Read the Full White Paper
See by spreading the blue scaled giant lizard jokes out their attention span and short term memory is so bad they think each new one is the first one!
Continuing our coverage of your rapidly eroding right to privacy and personal security when it comes to your computer and cell phone.
Here are the latest twists you should be aware of.
Is Google following you? Internet giant’s latest mobile operating system tracks user’s location even when Wi-Fi is switched OFF
FBI can remotely activate microphones in Android smartphones, source says
Gmail users or people who email them should NOT expect privacy, Google claims in a stunning admission
- The statement was made in response to a lawsuit accusing Google of violating privacy laws when its reads emails
- It follows a string of accusations against Google for it privacy policies
- Last week, the group’s Android phone operating system revealed a feature that will track user’s locations even when Wi-Fi is turned off
PUBLISHED: 06:29 EST, 14 August 2013 | UPDATED: 06:50 EST, 14 August 2013
Google has stated that people should not expect privacy when they send messages to a Gmail account.
This is according to a brief that was filed last month in a U.S. federal court and recently picked up by Consumer Watchdog.
The company claims ‘all users of email must necessarily expect that their emails will be subject to automated processing.’
There, there now Impish! I’ve seen some of those photos and the word you are looking for is not ‘kinky’ its ‘HINKY’!
DAMN IMPISH! It’s like you’re wearing a bight orange vest with a target painted on the back of it the way that bus keeps finding you!
#1: It doesn’t taste any better
In a 2010 study published in the Journal of Sensory Studies, researchers asked people to rate the taste of six bottled mineral waters and six types of tap water. They found that, overall, bottled water didn’t perform any better than the stuff from the tap. The reason: It’s mineral concentration, not “water purity,” that influences flavor. The study’s participants preferred water with medium mineralization, which they described as “tasteless” and “cooler,” but whether it came from a bottle or the tap made little difference.
#2: It’s not necessarily pure
The Natural Resources Defense Council recently tested 1,000 bottles of water and discovered that about 22 percent of the brands in the study contained chemical contaminants at levels above state health limits. And in 2011, California State University researchers tested six brands of bottled water and found that while none contained more than the legal level of contaminates, all six exceeded California public health goals for arsenic. There’s also substantial research showing that when certain plastic bottles are heated at high temperatures, chemicals from the plastic can leach into a container’s contents (a good reason not to store cases of water in the garage this summer). The takeaway: Don’t let label jargon like “pure” and “natural” fool you. Unlike bottled water, tap water is subject to strict federal, state, and local guidelines, making it a safer beverage choice.
#3: It may be glorified tap water
Exotic names and labels conjure up images of tropical waterfalls and mountaintop springs, but in reality, roughly 25 percent of all bottled water comes from municipal water sources. Coca-Cola’s Dasani, for example, is nothing but purified tap water with added minerals. And Pepsi’s Aquafina? Another bottle of city water. I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to be drinking tap water anyway, I’d rather save some cash and drink the free version.
Personally I bought one of these:
(actually I bought 3 one for each sink in the apartment) which attaches directly to the faucet and takes a cartridge like this:
which is good for 6 months/2500 gallon of water. Since our water is so high in Iron and calcium we only get about 4 months/1750 gallons to a cartridge. Still including the initial investment in the counter top filter housing that comes out to $0.03/gallon of water for those 1750 gallons. Standard water bottles are just over 1 pint and come 24 to a case. We generally buy the Kroger brand because its cheapest and on sale often at 2/$5.
24 pints is equal to 3 gallons for the $2.50 per case price or $0.83/gal or 27.66 times the cost of filtering it yourself. I have to point out that hot beverages made with filtered water no ONLY taste better they make coffee makers and their like last far longer too because you do not get the same levels of mineral build up in them
#4: It’s hurting our planet
Most water bottles are made of a plastic called polyethylene terepthalate, or PET. There are two problems with PET bottles. Problem 1: They take a boatload of crude oil to produce. University of Louisville researchers estimate that around 17 million barrels of oil are used each year to produce PET water bottles—a major reason why bottled water costs roughly four times as much as gasoline. Problem 2: We’re chucking our water bottles in the trash, instead of the recycling bin. According to the Container Recycling Institute, nearly 90 percent of the 30 billion PET water bottles we buy annually end up in landfills—a huge problem when you consider that PET bottles take from 400 to 1,000 years to decompose. The bottom line: We should all take a cue from environmentally conscious activists like the folks at the University of Vermont—which recently banned bottled-water sales on campus—and opt for the tap whenever possible.
We use our insulated travel mugs or reusable water bottles which are very simple to clean and/or sterilize.
It rare that I can post a Parting Shot and get my point across about what I have posted w/o a several paragraphs long diatribe on the issue. However so much great graphic material on the issue was finding its way into my Inbox that I find myself in the position of not having to utter a word on this particular subject. Heck there was even one that was too good to pass up as Header material! It just doesn’t get any better than that! You maker take all the interspersed graphics both as a way of keeping your attention and as my mumbled comments/thoughts as I read the article.
Fixing what’s wrong with Stop and Frisk
Published: Friday, August 16, 2013 Editorial from the Washington Post, www.washingtonpost.com.
In an emphatic defense of civil liberties, federal judge Shira A. Scheindlin on Monday declared that significant portions of New York City’s controversial “stop and frisk” policing tactic — at least as it’s been employed throughout the Bloomberg administration — were unconstitutional.
While the policy accompanied a steep decline in the homicide rate in recent years, the unfortunate reality is that the city’s use of stop and frisk has come to represent the largest racial profiling operation in the United States, with African Americans and Hispanics accounting for more than 80 percent of the 4.4 million stops conducted over eight years. That has undermined the trust residents place in law enforcement, especially in minority communities.
Both reasonable and practical, Judge Scheindlin’s 195-page ruling ultimately afforded civil rights the primacy they deserve. “The goals of liberty and safety may be in tension,” she wrote, “but they can coexist — indeed the Constitution mandates it.”
Despite the firestorm the ruling in Floyd v. City of New York has already ignited in City Hall — where, within hours of the decision, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, true to form, vowed to appeal_ the judge didn’t outlaw New York’s use of stop and frisk, a tool the Supreme Court has supported. She merely found that the New York Police Department, in its particular application of the practice, had violated both the plaintiffs’ Fourth and 14th Amendment rights — the first guarantees freedom from unreasonable searches and seizures, and the second guarantees equal protection under the law to every person, regardless of race.
As a corrective measure, the judge ordered an “immediate” change to the policy and the appointment of an outside lawyer, Peter L. Zimroth, to monitor the NYPD’s use of stop and frisk. These requirements are similar to measures the New York City Council passed this summer that were met with a veto from Mr. Bloomberg. If the judge’s ruling holds, oversight and accountability for stop and frisk finally would become the law.
Perhaps the most valuable piece of the opinion, however, was its condemnation of what the judge called City’s Hall’s “deliberate indifference” to the racial disparity in law enforcement techniques. “In their zeal to defend a policy that they believe to be effective,” the judge wrote of New York’s leaders, presumably Mr. Bloomberg and Raymond W. Kelly, his police chief, “they have willfully ignored overwhelming proof that the policy of targeting ‘the right people’ is racially discriminatory.”
Less than a month after George Zimmerman was acquitted on charges of manslaughter and second-degree murder for killing 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, and after President Obama’s moving response in the days that followed, those words have a special resonance.