Leprechaun Laughs # 206 for August 14th 2013


 

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Apparently Even Cats Crave an Occasional Pint o Guinness!

As you might be aware the Power Ball jackpot had grown quite sizable recently. Two weeks ago a near miss of 5 numbers resulted in a consolation prize of over $2 Million dollars here in Houston.

We of course like so many of you stood in line and paid our $2 for our astronomically infinitesimal  shot at the Jackpot last Wednesday night. We came home and retired for the evening at which point I had the following dream:

Molly came home, last Thursday screeching her car into the parking lot, and ran into the apartment. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Lethal! Pack your bags. I won the entire Power Ball Jackpot!”

I said, “BEGORRHA! What do I pack, beach stuff, cruise stuff or mountain stuff?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get the hell out.”

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Comparative Religion

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a show and tell assignment. Each student was instructed to bring an object to share with the class that represented their religion.

The first student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Benjamin. I am Jewish and this is a Star of David.”

The second student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Mary. I’m a Catholic and this is a Rosary.”

The third student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Tommy. I am Baptist and this is a casserole.”

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Hey as I was cleaning out my phone’s camera files I found this left over photo form Impish’s impromptu trip down to see us at So. Padre Island for the 4th of July. Here he is dining al fresco shore side shortly after arriving:

Impish beach

He claims he thought it was a mermaid, then he tells me…

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Gee THERE’S a real shocker!

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It’s all Liberal “Logic” (an oxymoron to be sure I agree) folks- I just extended it to other common problems.

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Indisputable photographic proof that even blondes can be cops

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Cross-Country Travel

Four women were driving across the country.

Each one was from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.

Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.

“What the heck are you doing?” demanded the Nebraskan.

“We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!”

That made sense to the gal from Nebraska, so she began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.

“What are you doing that for?” asked the gal from Florida.

“We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!”

Inspired by watching the entire scene, the gal from Florida opened the car door and pushed the New Yorker out.

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N.Y .couple gets scare over simple Google Search

EAST MEADOW, N.Y. It’s something you probably do a dozen times a day — jump on your computer and enter a search into Google.

One Long Island couple did just that, and then heard a knock on the door from police, CBS New York reported.

It is your average home on your typical Long Island street. Michele Catalano and her husband live inside.

And while neighbors say they are your normal suburban couple, on Wednesday morning police descended on the home searching for evidence of terrorism.

As Catalano wrote on her blog: “Googling of certain things was creating a perfect storm of terrorism profiling.”

Two separate searches of the words “backpack” and “pressure cooker” conducted days apart on her husband’s work computer were reported to police by the husband’s employer, and then Suffolk County police showed up to investigate.

In a statement, authorities said: “Suffolk County Criminal Intelligence detectives received a tip from a Bay Shore-based computer company regarding suspicious computer searches conducted by a recently released employee.”

Suffolk County police weren’t in the house. They asked Catalano’s husband several questions and then determined there was no criminality. But the incident left people in the neighborhood wondering if there is any such thing as privacy anymore.

Michele Catalano didn’t answer her door Thursday night, but wrote on her blog: “Mostly I felt a great sense of anxiety. This is where we are at. Where you have no expectation of privacy. Where trying to learn how to cook some lentils could possibly land you on a watch list.”

Her neighbors feel the same way.

“Invading privacy? It’s a little intimidating,” one person said.

Others, however, said it’s a way to save lives.

“I think they are doing their job, I really do,” a woman named “Ellen” said. “If they had done this in Boston, a lot less people would be hurt.”

Catalano is not giving interviews, but wrote that if she does decide to buy a pressure cooker in the near future, she won’t be doing it online, WCBS 880?s Alex Silverman reported.

It was a lesson that in the post-9/11and post-Boston bombing world even simple Google searches could land you in the midst of a police investigation.

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Arriving in Heaven

A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven.

Saint Peter approaches and says “Can I help you?”

The man replies “No thanks.” He continues to stand on the clouds.

“Are you sure I can’t help you?” says Saint Peter.

“No. That’s fine,” says the man.

Several minutes pass before Saint Peter approaches the man again.

“Look,” he says, “You do realize that if you’re here, you’re dead — right?”

“Oh I realize that,” replies the man.

“You realize that,” Saint Peter repeats.

The man points down through the clouds. “I’m just waiting for the Medics down there to realize that!

 

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This bracelet will save even more!

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Teen sues school for $2 million over misuse of Facebook bikini photo

By Mike Flacy — June 25, 2013

Detailed by Atlanta’s WSB-TV news station, University of Georgia freshman Chelsea Chaney is suing the school district of her former high school after a photo pulled from her Facebook page was used in a district-wide presentation on what not to do on social media accounts. 17 years old at the time, the photo shows Chaney wearing a bikini while posing next to a cardboard cutout of rapper and singer-songwriter Snoop Lion. In addition to the photo, the Powerpoint slide included her Facebook profile name underneath the photo and the title of slide was “Once It’s There, It’s There to Stay.”

Chelsea-Chaney It appears the presentation was referencing the dangers of posting written or visual content online that could potentially be damaging to someone’s reputation. The slide mentioned tools that could locate old content including Internet archive The WayBack Machine, cached pages stored by search engines like Google and search engines within social media sites.

According to documentation filed with the court, the following slide showed a cartoon of a daughter that’s embarrassed of her’s mother’s Facebook page because it lists “bad boys, jello shooters, and body art” as hobbies.

Seeking two million dollars in damages for using the photo in the presentation, the lawsuit claims that the presentation branded Chaney as a “sexually-promiscuous abuser of alcohol,” essentially shaming her at the time. Chaney, in attendance during the presentation, left immediately as she was “embarrassed” and “horrified.” According to Chaney and her father, the picture was taken during a family vacation and she subsequently posted it on her Facebook page during the vacation.

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When asked about the photo’s use, Chaney said “It never crossed my mind that this would ever, ever happen to me.” The school claims that the choice of the picture was completely random and chosen by Curtis R. Cearley, the director of technology for the Fayette County Schools.

Chaney claims that the privacy settings on her Facebook page were limited to her friends and she has no idea how Cearley was able to locate the picture within her Facebook profile. According to Chaney, the school did not ask permission to use her photo within the presentation

After the presentation, the school did issue an apology letter to the family, however Chaney doesn’t believe the apology was sincere. Within the letter, Cearley wrote “In order to stress the public and permanent nature of the media, and in an attempt to make the presentation as relevant as possible, it included a photo of a Fayette County student, your daughter.”

When asked about the school’s actions, family attorney Pete Wellborn said “Their idea that putting something on Facebook gives them a license to steal it and Carte blanche to do with it what they did is wrong ethically, it’s wrong morally and it’s absolutely wrong legally.” Admittedly, the dollar figure on the lawsuit is set extremely high so the school would take note of the legal action. According to Wellborn, no legal action would have been necessary if the school simply held another assembly about respecting the rights of others when it comes to content posted on the Internet.

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California school district issues social media contract to students

Smarter America Published August 06, 2013 FoxNews.com

A California school district is reportedly asking student athletes and those participating in extracurricular activities to sign a social media contract.

In an attempt to curb cyberbullying, the contract issued by the Lodi Unified School District bans “profanities or inappropriate language or remarks” directed toward teammates, coaches and other students. It also states that “general inappropriate language of profane or sexual nature” will also have consequences, FOX40.com reports.

“It has become an epidemic problem inside of the schools,” said Dawn Vetica, assistant superintendent of secondary education.

A first offense, according to the policy, will get a student benched or suspended from a game or meeting. The second could mean they are removed from the team or activity for the entire season. Administrators have not yet said what they will do if students don’t sign the contract, which some students criticized.

“No way, it violates our freedom of speech,” one student said Monday outside of Bear Creek High School, where dozens gathered in protest.

Another student protester said: “My mom has the right to prevent me from tweeting something when I’m not in school, not the school district.”

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Priests on Vacation

Two Priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their “tourist” garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead gorgeous” topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They could not help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said “Good Morning, Father. Good Morning, Father,” nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a very revealing string bottom, took her sweet time walking toward them. And again, they couldn’t help but stare.

Again she nodded at each of them, saying “Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father,” as she passed by. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and called after her.

“Just a minute young lady!”

“Yes, Father?” she said as she stopped and turned back.

“We are priests and are proud of it, but I have to know: how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?”

The woman smiled, bent over a bit, and pulled off her sunglasses. “Father,” she said in a purr, “don’t you recognize me? It’s me — Sister Katherine!”

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Thought For The Day…

We are told not to judge all Muslims by the actions of a few crazies.

BUT…

We are told to judge all gun owners by the actions of a few crazies”

Liberal Logic is also liberally hypocritical it seems!

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AP Interview: USPS takes photos of all mail

The Postal Service is taking pictures of your mail

snail mail spying

The agency says it’s to ensure “effective delivery”, but the cash-strapped carrier hangs onto them for a month and doles them out to security agencies on request.

Patrick Donahoe

Postmaster General Patrick R. Donahoe poses with next to a portrait of Benjamin Franklin, the first postmaster general, after an interview with the Associated Press at his office at U.S. Postal Service Headquarters in Washington, Thursday, Aug. 1, 2013. Donahoe has a wish list for raising cash for his financially ailing agency. High on it is delivery of beer, wine and spirits. In an interview with The Associated Press, Donahoe also endorsed ending most door-to-door and Saturday mail deliveries as cost-saving measures.

As the National Security Agency tries to recruit hackers to scan online data through its Prism program and law enforcement visits the homes of folks who use Google to look up “backpacks” and “pressure cookers,” at least there’s still the U.S. Postal Service to keep away the prying eyes, right?

Guess again. Even though the mail carrying agency is scarcely solvent, it somehow has the time and resources to take pictures of every piece of mail processed in the United States and hold onto it for a month.

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Postal Service takes pictures of every piece of mail processed in the United States — 160 billion last year — and keeps them on hand for up to a month.

In an interview with The Associated Press, Postmaster General Patrick Donahoe said the photos of the exterior of mail pieces are used primarily for the sorting process, but they are available for law enforcement, if requested.

The photos have been used “a couple of times” by to trace letters in criminal cases, Donahoe told the AP on Thursday, most recently involving ricin-laced letters sent to President Barack Obama and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

“We don’t snoop on customers,” said Donahoe, adding that there’s no big database of the images because they are kept on nearly 200 machines at processing facilities across the country. Each machine retains only the images of the mail it processes. [Yet. At least not by the Post Office or that anyone in the “Intelligence” Community will admit to until a disgruntled mail carrier pulls a Snowden]

“It’s done by machine, so there’s no central area where any of this information would be,” he said. “It’s extremely expensive to keep pictures of billions of pieces of mail. So there’s no need for us to do that.” [How much could be saved by not keeping them period?!]

The images are generally stored for between a week and 30 days and then disposed of, he said. Keeping the images for those periods may be necessary to ensure delivery accuracy, for forwarding mail or making sure that the proper postage was paid, he said. [But apparently NOT for finding out why your package went missing, where it got mangled or why when you play for Next Day it takes 4 to get where it’s going and you cannot get a refund]

“Law enforcement has requested a couple of times if there’s any way we could figure out where something came from,” he said. “And we’ve done a little bit of that in the ricin attacks.” [NOTE THE PHRASE: ‘law enforcement has requested’ nothing about a warrant or court oversight in that statement at all]

The automated mail tracking program was created after the deadly anthrax attacks in 2001 so the Postal Service could more easily track hazardous substances and keep people safe, Donahoe said.

“We’ve got a process in place that pretty much outlines, in any specific facility, the path that mail goes through,” he said. “So if anything ever happens, God forbid, we would be able very quickly to track back to see what building it was in, what machines it was on, that type of thing. That’s the intent of the whole program.”

Processing machines take photographs so software can read the images to create a barcode that is stamped on the mail to show where and when it was processed, and where it will be delivered, Donahoe said.

The Mail Isolation Control and Tracking program was cited by the FBI on June 7 in an affidavit that was part of the investigation into who was behind threatening, ricin-tainted letters sent to Obama and Bloomberg. The program “photographs and captures an image of every piece of mail that is processed,” the affidavit by an FBI agent said.

Mail from the same mailbox tends to get clumped together in the same batch, so that can help investigators track where a particular item was mailed from to possibly identify the sender.

“We’ve used (the Mail Isolation Control and Tracking program) to sort the mail for years,” Donahoe said, “and when law enforcement asked us, ‘Hey, is there any way you can figure out where this came from?’ we were able to use that imaging.”

Please keep this in mind next time you need to send anything anyplace. Your patronage of the USPS helps them spy on you.

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I’d really like to hang around for more chit chat but as I write this Monday night I have to go back to court for a second day of jury pool duty tomorrow. Apparently they decided after a questionnaire I have what it takes to possibly sentence a murder suspect to death.  I’m back at least again tomorrow for the jury pool until a jury of 12 good(?) men & women are empaneled for this case.

Should I be chosen for the case it will mean a disruption of several weeks in Leprechaun Laughs while I preform my civic duty. Impish has already said he will endeavor to step up and keep your humor levels up by putting forth something in my absence if it comes to that.

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 206 for August 14th 2013

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    Well Dingo I was not happy about having to go back an unplanned for second day.

    I was less happy to learn that once it started it would likely be high profile because of an insanity defense and both the accused and victim being apparently rich, wed (to each other) and large industry executive types.

    However once they began explaining the intricacies of the laws involved with out getting any case specifics, as well as the fact that it was NOT a Capitol murder case as apparently all 120 of us in the jury pool were under the impression it (was which meant the Death Penalty was off the table) I began to become quite intrigued and was of 2 minds about being selected.

    I was not crazy about the imposition on my life and the resulting chaos and upheaval it represented but I saw quickly where if I WAS going to get selected this case beat the hell out of a civil trial case which is always about money and very boring and tedious while the lawyers play ‘whose fault was it and to what extent’.

    Ultimately however I did NOT get selected for the jury. I had a chance to speak with the 2 jury consultants after the selection process was over and the jury was impaneled. With out going into specifics they did confirm that my strong opinions on several issue which I expressed on the 22 page questionnaire I was required to fill out were the root reason for my not being selected.

    I gathered from what little was said that I had made the Prosecutors list as a potential jurior but scared the hell out of the defense with my position on the Insanity Defense & my stated belief in court that it was neigh on impossible to shoot someone and not understands that a possible outcome of that action could be death even when you did not shoot them to intentionally kill them.

    Seems that the trick to avoiding having to actually sit on a jury it to have and express strong opinions about the reliant subject matter/ case issues. It would appear it doesn’t matter which side of the material you come down on all that matters is that you fell strongly one way or the other.

  2. The Retired Dingo says:

    Best of luck with your jury duty (whichever you desire it to be – dismissal or empaneled). I’ve only been called once and was dismissed even before the questionaire. But good luck to you either way.

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